That time of year again.

[irishdrgn]

Well it is that time of year again and my depression has already kicked in again. I guess it is my own fault for I am single and lonely during the holiday season again which is nothing new but for me it is hard for I grew up having family around all the time. Yes I have friends I am staying with but they are getting married and I feel like a fifth wheel sometimes cause there is a fourth adult in the house which I have had feelings for in the past and she shows none towards me anymore since our latest breakup. I do have to say that I am happy that alot of my friends are getting married and am very glad I got to see someone I havent in a long time. I just wish for one holiday season out here I could be happy and not depressed at the same time. I wish I couldnt get depressed at all. I dont know I am about to the point of giving up and going somewhere that will keep me busy cause I will have to think about my safety non stop unless I could convince people that I need to move out of state to help me from going there. I am thankful that my rents are sending money so I can get my phone turned back on but I dont know how long that will take. Well Fuck this season and all seaons till I am not depressed anymore.

Merry Fucking XMAS and Happy FUCKING New Year