me, myself and i
i'm in it again...the middle of another heartbreak.
i haven't wanted to write about anything lately, as i've been going through a lot in the last 7 months or so and was just feeling very private about all of it.
but now is one of those times when you want to scream at the top of your lungs and do anything you can to make everyone share your pain, or at least recognize it.
this time, his name is christopher. and he's amazing. just a completely unique, incredible, kind, funny, handsome man. he's also manic-depressive (and, i think, a prime candidate for borderline personality disorder). and i'm totally in love with him.
as far as i knew, he was in love with me too...until he decided to tell me last week that he couldn't be in a long-term relationship anymore for a host of reasons...not the least of which was the fact that he believes that he's doing this for my own good because of how "messed up" he is.
i think a lot of it was just words that he was throwing around in order to try and make the blow a little less harsh...but all it did was give me false hope until today, when he finally said something over IM (he's been out-of-state since we broke up) that smacked me in the face and told me that no matter how many times he tells me he's in love with me, he considers us broken up and isn't going through the heartbreak that i am.
again, here i am, left all alone and abandoned by someone telling me that they love and care about me, they just can't be with me. oh, and the best part is, we broke up nearly one year to the day that mike and i broke up.
next year, i'm boycotting january.
i haven't wanted to write about anything lately, as i've been going through a lot in the last 7 months or so and was just feeling very private about all of it.
but now is one of those times when you want to scream at the top of your lungs and do anything you can to make everyone share your pain, or at least recognize it.
this time, his name is christopher. and he's amazing. just a completely unique, incredible, kind, funny, handsome man. he's also manic-depressive (and, i think, a prime candidate for borderline personality disorder). and i'm totally in love with him.
as far as i knew, he was in love with me too...until he decided to tell me last week that he couldn't be in a long-term relationship anymore for a host of reasons...not the least of which was the fact that he believes that he's doing this for my own good because of how "messed up" he is.
i think a lot of it was just words that he was throwing around in order to try and make the blow a little less harsh...but all it did was give me false hope until today, when he finally said something over IM (he's been out-of-state since we broke up) that smacked me in the face and told me that no matter how many times he tells me he's in love with me, he considers us broken up and isn't going through the heartbreak that i am.
again, here i am, left all alone and abandoned by someone telling me that they love and care about me, they just can't be with me. oh, and the best part is, we broke up nearly one year to the day that mike and i broke up.
next year, i'm boycotting january.