a dream

[irishcaity]

I just had the most vivid dream about Dylan. He was alive, at least temporarily; he was visiting. We were inseparable. We walked around this underground cavern literally holding on to each other. I still remember feeling his body very warm, very real. I heard his heart beat. His arms never stopped holding me. Sometimes we split apart to talk for a moment, but I'd always rush right back into his arms as soon as possible. This wasn't romantic, it was desperation, and a longing to see and feel him alive again. Somehow I knew this wouldn't last and so wanted to make the most of it. I asked him about heaven but I don't remember what he said. I asked him about his mother, and he didn't want to talk about her. It was raining outside the caverns we were in. There were other people there but they didn't matter. I don't remember who any of them were. Even as I type this, more and more details are fading away... it's like he's fading away again. He was here, I felt him and heard his voice and saw him. One of the more vivid details I can remember is that he was sad. He wasn't crying, but he seemed mournful, as if he was missing out on something good. I tried to cheer him up, but i don't know if it worked. Then all of a sudden my dream pulled away from Dylan, somehow he left the entire scene without me noticing, and I was running from the underground caverns to somewhere else in the rain, getting completely soaked. I went back into the cavern for an umbrella and my car started to roll down a hill into another car. I ran in and stopped it just in time. Then I reparked it and got back out to leave the caverns again, and that's when I woke up and realized Dylan was gone.

This is the first time I have cried about this since his memorial...