(no subject)
I know hes up there somewhere.. I just wish I could talk to him face to face.. to understand why my life is the way it is.. why he made me have blonde hair? why he gave me my dads eyes and not my moms.. Maybe even ask why he let my dad just run away.. I know everything happens for a reason but I feel like my faith is just slowly melting like snow on a sunny day.. I talk to him everyday and I feel like he doesnt answer anything I'm saying or anything I say and i belive in it so much..
There is this verse in the bible where he says don't just come to me when you need something.. and I think thats why my life is the way it is .. I didn't alwasy go to church every SUnday and I didn't alwasy go with what that inner voice told me to do.. maybe thats why I feel this way.. I wish I could quote from the book I wish I could say that Im perfect but Im not.. I wish I would have just thanksed him for s pretty day outside or thank him for providing me with what I have.. but I thought I was just a kid and I wouldnt be judged.. I never did anything bad I alwasy did what my family wantedme to do I get good grades.. I try my best and I feel like Im not good enough for anyone.. I wish I was better I pray everyday that I just have the ability to try my hardest and put 110% in whatever I do and that my parents will love me for who I am and that I will be perfect for them.... I feel like I alwasy screw up... I know deep down inside He loves me nd he wants nothing but to make people happy or see the real meaning.. sooner or later school, education, jobs, cheerleading.. isnt going to mean anything.. what you took from this life in your mind body and soul is what is goin to matter... not what you wear or what you have not your coach bag or your fancy cars.. those wont matter..I guess everyone wants to talkt ohim face to face and maybe one day I will be able to . I just wish I didnt live on this planet anymore.. there is nothing but cruelty and hate on this planet its gettin worse and worse everyday.. the crime rate goes up kids are kidnapped people are dieing.. why ?? I ask my self why.. why does that have to happen when the heck did Adam and Eve have to ruin this for everyone..I just wish he would take me soon so that I wouldnt be that burden in anyones life.. I know he puts people in your life for a reason and they all love you but sometimes I think in life the people who love you most , hurt you the most.. Its getting harder and harder for me to even wake up in the morning.. just thinking.. another day out in this world.. this world that some enjoy and others hate.. this world that every second someone is being brought to this world and everysecond someone is being taken out.. God doesnt always just take the bad people in dealth to come to heaven sometimes he takes the really good genuin people at even a young age so they can be in heaven. maybe I;m not a good persona nd thats why I'm not being taken yet.. maybe I have to live threw something first. .all I know is that I cant wait to die and just go to heaven so i dont have to deal with all this negative all the time.. you have to take the good with the bad sometimes but why cant you take the great with the good all the time..
There is this verse in the bible where he says don't just come to me when you need something.. and I think thats why my life is the way it is .. I didn't alwasy go to church every SUnday and I didn't alwasy go with what that inner voice told me to do.. maybe thats why I feel this way.. I wish I could quote from the book I wish I could say that Im perfect but Im not.. I wish I would have just thanksed him for s pretty day outside or thank him for providing me with what I have.. but I thought I was just a kid and I wouldnt be judged.. I never did anything bad I alwasy did what my family wantedme to do I get good grades.. I try my best and I feel like Im not good enough for anyone.. I wish I was better I pray everyday that I just have the ability to try my hardest and put 110% in whatever I do and that my parents will love me for who I am and that I will be perfect for them.... I feel like I alwasy screw up... I know deep down inside He loves me nd he wants nothing but to make people happy or see the real meaning.. sooner or later school, education, jobs, cheerleading.. isnt going to mean anything.. what you took from this life in your mind body and soul is what is goin to matter... not what you wear or what you have not your coach bag or your fancy cars.. those wont matter..I guess everyone wants to talkt ohim face to face and maybe one day I will be able to . I just wish I didnt live on this planet anymore.. there is nothing but cruelty and hate on this planet its gettin worse and worse everyday.. the crime rate goes up kids are kidnapped people are dieing.. why ?? I ask my self why.. why does that have to happen when the heck did Adam and Eve have to ruin this for everyone..I just wish he would take me soon so that I wouldnt be that burden in anyones life.. I know he puts people in your life for a reason and they all love you but sometimes I think in life the people who love you most , hurt you the most.. Its getting harder and harder for me to even wake up in the morning.. just thinking.. another day out in this world.. this world that some enjoy and others hate.. this world that every second someone is being brought to this world and everysecond someone is being taken out.. God doesnt always just take the bad people in dealth to come to heaven sometimes he takes the really good genuin people at even a young age so they can be in heaven. maybe I;m not a good persona nd thats why I'm not being taken yet.. maybe I have to live threw something first. .all I know is that I cant wait to die and just go to heaven so i dont have to deal with all this negative all the time.. you have to take the good with the bad sometimes but why cant you take the great with the good all the time..