It Hurts...
Rest in Peace Joey...I can't believe its been three years. I think I am going to take time out to write about/to you.
From the moment I started talking to you I knew you were an amazing person. The conversation started around you and Kelly fighting...and quickly changed to asking questions about each other. You brought a smile to my face that no other person has been able to do. Who that I would be able to know someone so well over the computer. I know some of you reading this may think its strange, but I just can't explain the connection between the two of us.
The months started passing quickly, and there was obviously a connection between us. I really wanted to meet you but felt I could not betray a friend or loose her. So I chose to have both Kelly and Joey as friends. Joey and I longed to be so much more than friends. But Kelly would have no part in me meeting him. What hurt me the most was when I found out he hooked up with Stephanie. That just ripped a hole in my heart. I felt so betrayed and unable to turn to anyone. But I forgave him and we continued talking as if nothing happened.
I probably should mention that Joey was in remission...he had cancer but had the surgery to remove it. He was an older brother and protector of his siblings. I am sorry to say that his youngest brother was diagnosed with the same cancer that was in remission for Joey. It was the first half of my senior year when I found this out. I felt terrible and there was nothing I could do over the computer for him. I told him I would be here if he needed me. We sent some emails back and forth. I was basically trying to make him feel bettter. Joey's little brother passed away in November. He lost his battle with cancer. It was unfair to take such a young boy away from his loving family. Joey's little brother meant the world to him....and he lost it. Talking to him wasn't the same as it used to be. I could tell something was wrong with him. I talked to him a few days before Christmas and he said he was going on a little vacation and didn't know when he would be back. So he was saying his good byes then. I think that was the last time we spoke. I was so hurt and confused, I didn't know what to do.
Then on Jan. 7, 2003 Kelly called me. We had stoppped talking because of a fight we had. When I answered the phone I heard her sniffling. I asked what had happened and she couldn't tell me. Sot hen phone was silent for about 5 minutes. Time seemed to stand still...then she gave me the news. Joey had killed himself. Honestly there are no words to say how I felt at that moment. After she told me I wasn't the same person anymore.
After his death I learned even more about him than I already knew. Joey used to come into McDonalds (where I work) to visit me. I wasn't supposed to know because he didn't think he was good enough for me. He knew where I lived and would tell Kelly how special I was and how pretty I was. He was also supposed to move to Staten Island a few weeks after his death.
As I write this now there is so much emotion inside me. I want to cry but I can't do that anymore. I need to slowly move on....I can't get him out of my mind. He will always be in my heart and on my mind. I just can't help myself by thinking "what if." There is so much more to write here...but I just can't do it all at once.
From the moment I started talking to you I knew you were an amazing person. The conversation started around you and Kelly fighting...and quickly changed to asking questions about each other. You brought a smile to my face that no other person has been able to do. Who that I would be able to know someone so well over the computer. I know some of you reading this may think its strange, but I just can't explain the connection between the two of us.
The months started passing quickly, and there was obviously a connection between us. I really wanted to meet you but felt I could not betray a friend or loose her. So I chose to have both Kelly and Joey as friends. Joey and I longed to be so much more than friends. But Kelly would have no part in me meeting him. What hurt me the most was when I found out he hooked up with Stephanie. That just ripped a hole in my heart. I felt so betrayed and unable to turn to anyone. But I forgave him and we continued talking as if nothing happened.
I probably should mention that Joey was in remission...he had cancer but had the surgery to remove it. He was an older brother and protector of his siblings. I am sorry to say that his youngest brother was diagnosed with the same cancer that was in remission for Joey. It was the first half of my senior year when I found this out. I felt terrible and there was nothing I could do over the computer for him. I told him I would be here if he needed me. We sent some emails back and forth. I was basically trying to make him feel bettter. Joey's little brother passed away in November. He lost his battle with cancer. It was unfair to take such a young boy away from his loving family. Joey's little brother meant the world to him....and he lost it. Talking to him wasn't the same as it used to be. I could tell something was wrong with him. I talked to him a few days before Christmas and he said he was going on a little vacation and didn't know when he would be back. So he was saying his good byes then. I think that was the last time we spoke. I was so hurt and confused, I didn't know what to do.
Then on Jan. 7, 2003 Kelly called me. We had stoppped talking because of a fight we had. When I answered the phone I heard her sniffling. I asked what had happened and she couldn't tell me. Sot hen phone was silent for about 5 minutes. Time seemed to stand still...then she gave me the news. Joey had killed himself. Honestly there are no words to say how I felt at that moment. After she told me I wasn't the same person anymore.
After his death I learned even more about him than I already knew. Joey used to come into McDonalds (where I work) to visit me. I wasn't supposed to know because he didn't think he was good enough for me. He knew where I lived and would tell Kelly how special I was and how pretty I was. He was also supposed to move to Staten Island a few weeks after his death.
As I write this now there is so much emotion inside me. I want to cry but I can't do that anymore. I need to slowly move on....I can't get him out of my mind. He will always be in my heart and on my mind. I just can't help myself by thinking "what if." There is so much more to write here...but I just can't do it all at once.