(no subject)
So yeah...I finally realized exactly how little my "friends" like me.
I've come to realize that the only reason they keep me around, is so that they can tear me down and make themselves feel better.
I make them laugh...and thats it.
I just don't get it.
I try hard. I really do.
Why is it that people constantly dont like me.
I mean, i had a person i didn't even know, come up to me today, and tell me I'm fat, ugly, and that i should kill myself.
and all i can do is sit there and pretend like i dont care when they make fun of me. These people, who i trust and care about more than anything, just can't seem to understand.
on top of all this...i ansolutely KNOW some of them don't like me.
i walked up behind them today, and they didn't know i was there...and i heard the conversation they were having...it was about me...I'd rather not go into the details...but i walked away, questioning many things. The entire bus ride i just sat there...thinking about it...wondering why i was so stupid, not to realize that things dont change like that.
i thought i had actually found a group of people who liked me...for me...
but alas...apparently im just too intolerable.
ill put it this way, in the last few weeks, my "friends" have called me: stupid, ugly, the most fucked-up guy ever, gay, an animal who needs to be locked in a cage whenever they go in public, worthless, useless, retarded, a faggot, an asshole, a dick, a jerk, a bastard, a fucking loser, etc.
these are all pretty much from one day. that was today.
ONE FUCKING DAY
hell, 90% of them occured in a 3-hour period.
now, please, tell me...what do i do now?
they're the only "friends" i have.
i know if any of you read this, you know who im talking to, you'll try to tell me that i've got it all wrong...that i'm taking things out of hand...but it wont work this time...i heard the conversation...and i know there have been others like it...
but i guess...i dont know...i just dont even know...
I've come to realize that the only reason they keep me around, is so that they can tear me down and make themselves feel better.
I make them laugh...and thats it.
I just don't get it.
I try hard. I really do.
Why is it that people constantly dont like me.
I mean, i had a person i didn't even know, come up to me today, and tell me I'm fat, ugly, and that i should kill myself.
and all i can do is sit there and pretend like i dont care when they make fun of me. These people, who i trust and care about more than anything, just can't seem to understand.
on top of all this...i ansolutely KNOW some of them don't like me.
i walked up behind them today, and they didn't know i was there...and i heard the conversation they were having...it was about me...I'd rather not go into the details...but i walked away, questioning many things. The entire bus ride i just sat there...thinking about it...wondering why i was so stupid, not to realize that things dont change like that.
i thought i had actually found a group of people who liked me...for me...
but alas...apparently im just too intolerable.
ill put it this way, in the last few weeks, my "friends" have called me: stupid, ugly, the most fucked-up guy ever, gay, an animal who needs to be locked in a cage whenever they go in public, worthless, useless, retarded, a faggot, an asshole, a dick, a jerk, a bastard, a fucking loser, etc.
these are all pretty much from one day. that was today.
ONE FUCKING DAY
hell, 90% of them occured in a 3-hour period.
now, please, tell me...what do i do now?
they're the only "friends" i have.
i know if any of you read this, you know who im talking to, you'll try to tell me that i've got it all wrong...that i'm taking things out of hand...but it wont work this time...i heard the conversation...and i know there have been others like it...
but i guess...i dont know...i just dont even know...