[RP] ...and I think I'm running out of gas...

[irish_sherlock]

It was the perfect night...Mike was offworld until the next day, they both had a day off, and he was still sporting a nice split lip and eyebrow from the fight he'd gotten into with Lieutenant Fraser a couple days before. Jim wasn't a jealous man, but the fact that Fraser had grabbed Addie's ass and it bothered her enough to tell Jim about it was

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[no_russianbride]

It had taken all that was in her to keep her resolve, but she felt it etching away slowly as she felt like he was trying to pull away from her. She pulled her lower lip into her mouth trying to fight back, and be strong for him, but she couldn't help it. She was watching Jim fall apart in front of her, and up until that moment he had been the strength to her. Aedeline reached for him, her hand grazing lightly along his jaw, picking his chin up to meet her eyes tears barely pushing toward falling across her cheeks.

"Jim, it's going to be fine... it's all in the past. It's all behind you. I know, God I know that's not you... it's part of who you are, but it's not you," she inhaled deeply exhaling as it came out slightly shakey trying to get a bit more control over herself and her emotions.

Her thumb rolled across his cheek, "We all have things... things we've kept from everyone..." Addie hated that he was standing there telling her everything and she couldn't explain that she knew... that regret was something she lived with every day. She wanted to tell him, to explain her own past, but it didn't feel right... because all she could feel was how scared he was, and how afraid she was for him.

"I'm not going to leave you... I love you, it doesn't matter, none of it matters now. You have to believe me now."

[irish_sherlock]

Jim shut his eyes, leaning into her touch as everything she said hit home, sinking into his head and his heart...giving him just a little scrap of hope to cling to that maybe, just maybe she was serious.

Maybe he'd still get his chance to propose...even if he was teasing the hell out of her, and all of a sudden it was all he wanted. To keep her, just that long...to hold on long enough to say the words and see her smile...hear her laugh and say yes just to shut him up. It didn't even have to be real.

Opening his eyes again, he reached out to cradle her cheek in his palm, callused thumb straying to trace the line of her cheekbone as his eyes met hers, forehead resting between two of the bars.

"If you mean it...yeah. I do." he whispered, then snorted almost silently, lips softening with a trace of a smile. "You're too cute to lie." he added weakly.

[no_russianbride]

Aedeline pressed her hand against his as he touched her cheek, her fingers slipping into his turning her head to the side just to kiss the inside of his fingers briefly. The teasing about her being too cute to lie, stung her a bit, because she knew she wasn't exactly lying except by omission, but there had been enough truth on the table today. She didn't deny his statement instead she just pressed her mouth to the inside of his hand lightly.

The smile that caught her eye stirred a small flit of laughter from her, smiling up to him, "I mean it, every word. I love you Jim Riley, and all of this doesn't change anything that I feel."

Applying one more kiss to the palm of his hand she clung to his grip as she stood on tip toes placing a kiss to his forehead as it pressed to the bars, "You had me scared you know."

[irish_sherlock]

"I'm sorry." he whispered in apology, letting his hand drift up to run through her hair. "I'm sorry for all of it...not telling you sooner, for this, for this morning..."

He trailed off, shutting his eyes and drawing a shaky sigh, lightly thudding his forehead against the bars a couple times in frustration. "I put my blood into leaving this shit behind." he murmured. "I put my *blood* into it, and the one place I thought it was gone forever, it comes back to bite me in the ass. I just...I wasn't thinking, Dimples. I'm sorry for scaring you, I mean it."

[no_russianbride]

Aedeline winced a bit as he thunked his head into the bars. Leaning into his touch once more she closed her eyes letting her own breathing finally become more steady and even. She didn't mean to make him apologize so much, because she couldn't really think that there was any other way for this. Aside from the MP escort and the bars between them, Addie knew that somethings in life weren't meant to be easy. Jim telling her this, even if he had planned to tell her, it wasn't supposed to be easy. She knew better than he thought she did, because she knew when it came time for her to come clean... that it would be just as hard for her.

"It's fine, shhh..." she whispered softly to him, her eyes looking to him trying to make him look at her again. "It's out there now, and I'm still here... this isn't your fault Jim. I know you didn't mean to scare me. Things happen. This will blow over, you didn't kill Fraser. They'll do their investigation, interviews... and they'll know it wasn't you."

***
"First Lieutenant Aedeline Sorokin, you've been brought here for questioning into the death of fellow officer Marcus Brent. Do you understand the charges that are currently being taken into consideration, in regards to your involvement in his death?"

"I do."
***

"They'll know, and this will all just be something else that goes into a file that no one really looks at anyway," Addie continued somewhat distracted by her own memories rising to the surface. She pushed them back quickly bringing her focus back to Jim, and being there for him.

[irish_sherlock]

Jim let his eyes stay shut as he listened to her talk, rolling the sound of her voice around in his head...then opened them as she finished, hating the tick in her jaw and the flicker of her eyes that were all blatant indicators of things he already knew.

Or at least...things he *thought* he knew.

The way her eyes lost focus, the little flutter of skin at her neck, just above the pulse point...Jim watched her for a full minute, counting her pulse and realizing her heart rate was elevated.

"But we know." he replied simply, carefully watching her reaction. "I know what I did, and you know what you did."

At her expression, he brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "What? I love you...you think I wasn't gonna read yer file?" he quipped with a small smile. "I know about Brent, Dimples...and watching you now, that little muscle spasm in yer eyebrow, that thing with your tongue between yer teeth...I know the records ain't tellin' me dick."

Before she could answer, he cradled her cheek in his palm and caught her hand in his free one, drawing it through the bars to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "And for the record, I ain't asking you where the bodies are buried...if you ever think I gotta know the real story? Fine. If not? That's okay, too. But short of eating babies for breakfast, ain't a fuck of a lot you could do or ever have done that'd make me stop loving you, Sorokin. I just want that real clear, right now, if we're all getting our skeletons rearranged in the closet and shit."

[no_russianbride]

His words caught in her head and in that instant her eyes flashed to his with a moment of disbelief over what she actually heard. There was a small step she wanted to take, to back away slowly from all of it. Instead she just looked at him, and felt his hand brush to her cheek, stuck in that moment that she didn't want to expose, not even to herself.

He said his name, and she felt her stomach drop out. There were things that she knew were on file, somewhere some large room with file cabinets full of lies and deceit and her file was one of them. There he was though saying he thought he knew, that he had the mind to actually look her up. She wanted to feel betrayal, but she couldn't even let that register because when he mentioned what she had done everything froze in her.

Even despite feeling like she couldn't move all she wanted to do was run. But his hand caught to hers pulling her in, keeping her from shutting down everything with a simple moment of affection, and then words that she knew he meant. The breath she drew in was shakey and hurt more than she wanted it to. All she could do was close her eyes and lean against his hand on her cheek. Everything exposed, everything out there for both of them, and none of it was supposed to happen like this. Steel bars between them, keeping her from just holding him, and being held... the truth hurt.

Still keeping her cheek pressed to his hand she looked up at him. Addie felt lost, that the path she had been on suddenly had gotten really dark really fast and all she had to lead her though was Jim, and she was fine with that. She just wanted him to be with her, but he felt so far away.

"I do... I want to tell you. I just..." she didn't even know how to explain her own fears away, "I don't have the words for it. Not yet at least."

[irish_sherlock]

"If you never find 'em, you never gotta say...that's fine with me." he replied without hesitating, wishing he could take away the raw agony he watched dance over her features.

Hoping to take it away...to make her believe he was being serious, that everything would be all right because she knew his worst and was still here, Jim smiled and took both her hands in his.

"Because soon as I'm outta here," he drawled, "I'm gonna make you marry me. That's right...hold you hostage at Wraith stunner-point, hop a Jumper to Vegas...even get us an Elvis impersonator as the preacher. But? Because I'm such a gentleman, you can pick where we honeymoon...just make sure it's got lots of nude beaches so I can drag you to 'em."

[no_russianbride]

Addie stood there letting everything thaw over her for the time being, she had every intention of telling him at some point, but then seeing how hard it was for him to tell her about his past she knew she couldn't keep it a secret forever, and that sooner was better... but then he mentioned it. That he knew part of it, just that small part of it sent a bit of panic through her, because it meant it was real... and that at some point he would need to know.

He reached for her other hand, and the shift in his grip brought her eyes to meet his, seeing for the first time since she had been down there visiting him that familiar spark of something in his gaze. His smile made her smile, even though she knew she was borderline tears once more, however when he spoke she startled herself with her own laughter.

She wasn't sure if he was just trying to break the tension, or get her mind off of everything but it had worked, because she was smiling and laughing, still feeling a slight ache in her chest, but she felt maybe it was just that she missed him, "A Jumper... all the way to Vegas. I don't think they Valet those."

Their somewhat lighter moment was cut short by the sound of the heavy door opening to the side of her, "Lieutenent Sorokin, I'm sorry but your time is up. We've got to escort you out."

Addie glanced to them for a moment, "Just... one moment," she almost wanted to plead for five more minutes, like David did when he was little and didn't want to get up in the morning. Instead she just tried to plead with the guard before she looked back to Jim, "You'll have to just wait to hear all about my ideas for the honeymoon I guess."

[irish_sherlock]

Her smile was worth every second of the entire goddamn mess...lit up his cell, the room, and everything else on the whole planet. It was all he needed to be free of any prison in every way that mattered, which was why the guard, naturally, *had* to come around and try to take Addie away from him again.

Wrapping his arms around her shoulders through the bars of the cell, Jim narrowed his eyes at the guard over Addie's shoulder. "We got a problem with corruption here on base? 'Cause if not, I can make one. Fifty bucks for five more minutes, a hundred for ten...stop me when I hit a number you like. Or...y'know...you could do me a solid and I'll owe ya. I can get any-damn-thing around here, y'know...

[no_russianbride]

Jim trying to bribe the guards for more time for her to stay at his side, was amusing, heartfelt and just a bit silly... but it also could make his mess a bit more complicated. His arm laced awkwardly through the bars around her shoulders and she shook her head lightly, "No... I mean I'd stay as long as they'd let me... but don't make trouble for yourself Jim. This will clear up, and then you'll end up with bribing an officer... or smuggling goods on base, and right now this is all I can handle at a time."

Her own hand reached through the bars to graze along his jawline until her fingertips could scratch lightly against the short hair on the back of his neck, "It'll be fine. I'll wait for you, not going anywhere... well back to my quarters but, you and me? We're good."

Pulling her hand back she kissed her fingertips and pressed them against his mouth, knowing that the bars were going to keep her from actually kissing him without injuring her cheekbones in some capacity.

However the guard must have either had a soft spot for the two of them, or just felt bad because when Addie took her step away from the bars the guard moved over and unlocked the cell door, "Lieutenent you've got three minutes, then we've got to close up for the night."

She silently wished they had done this in the first place, but was grateful to have those three minutes just to feel him holding her. She pushed past the partially opened cell door and just clung to Jim. Whatever tears she thought she was holding back finally spilled across her cheek leaving streaks on Jim's shirt as she leaned against his chest. Pulling back from him for a moment still solid in his grip around her waist she kissed him. All the pain and hurt that she had stuck in the front of her mind getting pushed back deep just to allow her this one moment when everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Breaking from the kiss for a moment, she smiled up at him, "I love you."

[irish_sherlock]

It was like magnets the moment the door opened...striding over to meet her halfway, he caught her by the shoulders and hauled her against him, shifting his hands from her shoulders to wrap his arms around her as tight as he could, burying his face against her hair. He just clung to her for a moment as she clung to him, shifting after a second to stoop and hide his face against her neck, pressing a couple of fierce kisses to her skin.

She was still here...and she'd be there when he got out. That was all he cared about. That...and touching her. Just like this.

The moment she drew back enough, he again met her halfway to kiss her, one hand lifting to tangle his fingers in her hair as he met her lips with his, fierce but gentle. He wanted to kiss her the best she'd ever had...the best *he'd* ever had. He wanted to burn the feel of her into his memory and his into hers...wanted to make her *feel* just how much he loved her.

And when she broke the kiss, he could only return her smile...fuck, she had the greatest smile...

"Love you, too, Kewpie." he rumbled in reply, resting his forehead against hers as he gazed into her eyes. "Just be good, huh? Least 'til I can get out and help you cause trouble." He paused, his smile dimming just a little. "Do me a favor too, huh? Watch Mikey?" He paused, flashing her a rueful grin. "We've...only ever been apart once in our whole lives, and...he might need somebody."

[no_russianbride]

Addie nodded against his forehead, standing there in his grasp wishing that the three minutes wouldn't slip past her so quickly. But hearing the cell door creak behind her as the guard put his hand to it again, she knew that just like most things that happened with Jim, this was too fast.

The one, the only good thing that she was able to wrap her mind around in this moment though, was that Jim had become *that* guy to her. She was saying that she loved him, but feeling this fear, this panic about his situation. Waking up and not knowing where he had gone, seeing Mike the way he was... Addie *knew* what this was between them, and there was no denying it.

Jim might have been trying to make her laugh when he joked about getting married in Vegas, but in those final minutes in the cell with him, feeling just how he made her feel with so little effort on his part, she knew.

She'd stay with him for as long as he'd let her and then some. Reluctantly she withdrew from his grasp, "I'll check in on him, and..." she wanted to say something, but she didn't even know what was stuck in the back of her throat at that moment. Instead she just kissed him again, with a passion that she hadn't quite been able to control when she was around him. Returning everything she had to offer in one moment, letting him know everything she couldn't say.

She pulled away from him, knowing that if she stayed any longer she'd run the risk of crying again, or saying something that she wouldn't be able to take back... and even though she wanted to say everything... she knew that she couldn't. Addie didn't want to say goodbye to Jim either, so instead she just smiled at him. The guard closing the cell door, putting those bars between them once more.

"Oh, and I promise no racán a thógáil, in yer' absence," Addie teased in the oddest sounding accent she'd ever figured out, shaking her head as she headed down the corridor with the guard as her escort.

[irish-gaelic translation - to cause trouble]