(no subject)
It's not that I want to die,of course it isn't that, I just wish living wasn't always so hard. Vain? A little. Immature? A lot. Unreasonable? I don't think so, and I don't see why I should feel so guilty saying it.It's almost illegal to be sad these days, and it's killing me. Everybody's sad, we all know it--why is it such a big deal to say so? Look, I know nobody likes a whiner, but what do we gain by pretending like sadness doesn't exist? A depth for sadness is one of those few things we all really have in common, and I'd like to be able to talk about it, and as much as my loved ones would say otherwise, it's not always so easy just because I know you'll listen. The clock shouldn't have to stop just because I feel melancholy, but neither should that imply that it's my job to ignore or suppress it. Why can't I just say "Sometimes I think about how hopeless everything can really be, you know?" without concern that I need medical attention. I'm not suicidal, I just feel fucking sad! Just like everyone else does from time time to time! Is that so wrong? Even writing the word "sadness" conjures up high school and its shoehorned 'synonym: emo.I really, really hate that word. At its worst, it was a word to describe a sort of fashion of being melancholy, which I agree is bullshit, but the reaction to it was almost fascist. "We don't like sad people, sad people are bad people, so let's marginalize them". It evolved into a fucking war on sadness which, sorry, is a pretty essential emotion. I've got plenty to be happy about, I know, but there's sadness too--they can both be there. Why can't I just be sad for a bit without having to feel like I'm stealing something?