(no subject)
you should always give someone a fair chance to explain right? well i think so..
i guess i've never really been good at having close friends. or atleast thats what it has seemed like. someone who did mean a lot to me said one day that 'i never really liked her'& that she hated me.. how would that make you feel? we really haven't talked since then. my other friend i'm not really sure where we went wrong. it was all kind of hazy to me and i guess that was what was the problem. she felt like i would put her second best in a group of friends. but that most definately wasn't my intention. when i am in a group of friends i do tend to talk to everyone and i guess that made her feel like i didn't want to talk to her because i didnt talk to her the whole time. this is probably wrong but i am trying to understand. she also didn't really like me hanging out with people she knew cause she always claimed 'they will like you more'. that's silly. anyone who's everyone always equally liked us. in fact, we were considered a team. we were always known for being 'best friends'.
today i sit here jus thinking about things. mainly about why i am losing another good friend. last night i went to the movies with a friend of hers. we both were excited to see a movie, so we decided to go. we invited her though so you'd think that nothing was wrong. that night when we got home her away was 'bad mood'. i think that was about us. tonight she has that friend over which i think is cool. she also has someone over who she has always told me she hasn't liked. this happens to be my old friend. well who i thought was. maybe she never was the one disliked, maybe all along it was me? saturdays are usually days we hang out. i had bought her something for her and i to do tonight, along with her cousins. when i got home though i saw her away and found out she already had plans. i guess she didnt care to hang out with me tonight. that's alright. i guess she also didn't want me hanging out with the people she invited over.
i guess i've never really been good at having close friends. or atleast thats what it has seemed like. someone who did mean a lot to me said one day that 'i never really liked her'& that she hated me.. how would that make you feel? we really haven't talked since then. my other friend i'm not really sure where we went wrong. it was all kind of hazy to me and i guess that was what was the problem. she felt like i would put her second best in a group of friends. but that most definately wasn't my intention. when i am in a group of friends i do tend to talk to everyone and i guess that made her feel like i didn't want to talk to her because i didnt talk to her the whole time. this is probably wrong but i am trying to understand. she also didn't really like me hanging out with people she knew cause she always claimed 'they will like you more'. that's silly. anyone who's everyone always equally liked us. in fact, we were considered a team. we were always known for being 'best friends'.
today i sit here jus thinking about things. mainly about why i am losing another good friend. last night i went to the movies with a friend of hers. we both were excited to see a movie, so we decided to go. we invited her though so you'd think that nothing was wrong. that night when we got home her away was 'bad mood'. i think that was about us. tonight she has that friend over which i think is cool. she also has someone over who she has always told me she hasn't liked. this happens to be my old friend. well who i thought was. maybe she never was the one disliked, maybe all along it was me? saturdays are usually days we hang out. i had bought her something for her and i to do tonight, along with her cousins. when i got home though i saw her away and found out she already had plans. i guess she didnt care to hang out with me tonight. that's alright. i guess she also didn't want me hanging out with the people she invited over.