A winner is, for once, me
You guys!!! So back on Nov 1st I decided that while doing NaNoWriMo full scale was too intimidating, I wanted to do something similar. So I set myself a goal: 30k words in 30 days.
Now, I often decide I'm going to do something. Write a story, learn a language, whatever. And I almost never do. I am terrible at finishing things, at setting goals and actually fulfilling them. I lose interest and/or get lazy and drop whatever I said I'd do. The one exception is things I do for others. I have yet to default on a story for an exchange or a birthday. I have never even been late on a birthday story. But when the person I'd be letting down is me? I do it all the time.
But I was determined not to fail this time. I really wanted this, wanted to prove that I could do something I said I'd do. Something that would require hard work and effort over a prolonged period of time rather than a few days until I lost interest. No matter how ridiculous it was. This was really important to me. I feel like I've done nothing but under-perform and fail to meet expectations for the longest time now. Like a failure, really.
And guess what? I did it. I DID IT! I hit 30k around 15 minutes ago and oh my god, I'm so proud of myself. I don't care how ridiculous my story is, or how terrible. I don't even care that it's not quite finished, though it's close. And I will finish it. And you know what the best part is? I actually believe myself when I say I'll finish it, instead of doubting and dooming myself to failure from the start. I can actually accomplish goals! It's a good feeling. :)
Now, I often decide I'm going to do something. Write a story, learn a language, whatever. And I almost never do. I am terrible at finishing things, at setting goals and actually fulfilling them. I lose interest and/or get lazy and drop whatever I said I'd do. The one exception is things I do for others. I have yet to default on a story for an exchange or a birthday. I have never even been late on a birthday story. But when the person I'd be letting down is me? I do it all the time.
But I was determined not to fail this time. I really wanted this, wanted to prove that I could do something I said I'd do. Something that would require hard work and effort over a prolonged period of time rather than a few days until I lost interest. No matter how ridiculous it was. This was really important to me. I feel like I've done nothing but under-perform and fail to meet expectations for the longest time now. Like a failure, really.
And guess what? I did it. I DID IT! I hit 30k around 15 minutes ago and oh my god, I'm so proud of myself. I don't care how ridiculous my story is, or how terrible. I don't even care that it's not quite finished, though it's close. And I will finish it. And you know what the best part is? I actually believe myself when I say I'll finish it, instead of doubting and dooming myself to failure from the start. I can actually accomplish goals! It's a good feeling. :)