In the workplace I really know I'm Transgendered
Overall I'm really happy to be returning to the Educational realm.....it's the right thing to do...However it does mean fairly orthodox presentation....and in my case orthodox male presentation.....which is ok for a short time....but long term deeply disturbs me...that's when I loose doubts about my T-S identity....The concept of a lifetime in such mode seems....and always did seem close to an impossible burden...from my late teens I used to wonder how I was going to manage it ..I hoped that I'd find a way.....I didn't.
I'll do it for now....and probably for a few years until I hopefuly undergo change.....But it can only be for a few more years....I can't do it for the rest of my life.
Yeah Loribee ...while there is far more to a gender than looks....in order for me to have confidence in myself on a social level...I need to look as I am comfortable...looking very obviously like a birth male isn't something that I could ever be comfortable with. Your right in the sense that ideally we should be comfortable with ourselves, regardless of how we look.....But society does judge a lot on appearance...sadly far too much....but that is regretably the world we live in...books are often judged by their cover....and there's no doubt that a reasonable appearance will make social interaction easier. I don't mind being known as a Transsexual....I'm very much out as Transgendered now anyway...90% of people who know me know of my feelings..I don't mind anybody knowing....as I believe that I have a right to be who I am....as do others....but I want to be a successful Transsexual...not a figure of pity or ridicule....(even though I can handle both)...but a Transsexual who succeeds....and yeah looks are an indelible part of my self image....and poor looks would mean poor self image... Success I define as accomplishing some of what I want to in life.....and therefore feel fulfilled. I believe that I can.
I don't have lot's of money.....I'll just have to try to manage it better over the next few years...and take some chances to earn when they come....hopefuly I'll get there....I know I want to....so much.
I'll do it for now....and probably for a few years until I hopefuly undergo change.....But it can only be for a few more years....I can't do it for the rest of my life.
Yeah Loribee ...while there is far more to a gender than looks....in order for me to have confidence in myself on a social level...I need to look as I am comfortable...looking very obviously like a birth male isn't something that I could ever be comfortable with. Your right in the sense that ideally we should be comfortable with ourselves, regardless of how we look.....But society does judge a lot on appearance...sadly far too much....but that is regretably the world we live in...books are often judged by their cover....and there's no doubt that a reasonable appearance will make social interaction easier. I don't mind being known as a Transsexual....I'm very much out as Transgendered now anyway...90% of people who know me know of my feelings..I don't mind anybody knowing....as I believe that I have a right to be who I am....as do others....but I want to be a successful Transsexual...not a figure of pity or ridicule....(even though I can handle both)...but a Transsexual who succeeds....and yeah looks are an indelible part of my self image....and poor looks would mean poor self image... Success I define as accomplishing some of what I want to in life.....and therefore feel fulfilled. I believe that I can.
I don't have lot's of money.....I'll just have to try to manage it better over the next few years...and take some chances to earn when they come....hopefuly I'll get there....I know I want to....so much.