Last year
I fell in love with a wonderful boy that I could laugh cry and just *be* with,we met each other's parents (I went to LI over the New Year). Then, in March, the day after having a kick ass time at a Jon Stewart show, I got dumped. I gathered courage to make more self improvements to meet my career and life goals, and applied to graduate school.
I've had some issues with my immune system and lost some hair, but it grew back. I got sick, but I got better.
Everything in my life goes high, then low, then stabilizes, so I'm always close to some form of equilibrium.
I failed and I succeeded, I felt isolated despite knowing many people, I spent time alone when I wanted to be social and was social when I needed time to myself..
and I'm pretty happy.. despite it.
I know it wasn't a deficiency on my part, but I still miss Eric. I'm not lacking for dates, but I am lacking a sense of fulfillment in my company. Sometimes I feel like a hollow arm ornament who wants to scream at the poor shy boy sitting across the table from me and tell him I'm a powerful wonderful fantastic woman no matter what he thinks, and that I'm smart and going places,... to which he would sit aghast and hurt before whispering "I knew that",.... and I would feel like an ass, and still as hollow as I felt before.
I wish I knew how to link pictures, as I have a wonderful picture that always makes me happy that I wish I could share. Someone give me the code.
Jeff's going to have a baby, many of my friends are getting married or have married, I am not only single, but as someone said to me "oh, single AGAIN?" as if it were some blemish on my character written in indelible ink, staining my life like a scarlet letter. I am happy.
I remembered Baby B's birthday on St Patty's day, and had a glass of green champagne and toasted him and his wonderful mother...So Kat, just so you know, I made a bunch of drunk Cornell Seniors (20+) join me in a toast for the health and prosperity of you and yours, I think it's frightfully just, most of them were born with the silver spoon stuck in their arses, and they toasted you because I told them to. What a powertrip.
Not that I'm conceited... or anything,..
My dogs are well, my wonderful horse is very fat and pregnant and has been a wonderful girl. The baby moves around and I can place my hand on her stomach and feel it kick and squirm... it fills me with joy and dread. Dread of something going wrong, and joy at it's continued life and vigor, and Gabrielle's obvious health and good temper.
Sometimes I wonder, who remembers me anymore? Do they think of me as much as I pine for them?
I've had some issues with my immune system and lost some hair, but it grew back. I got sick, but I got better.
Everything in my life goes high, then low, then stabilizes, so I'm always close to some form of equilibrium.
I failed and I succeeded, I felt isolated despite knowing many people, I spent time alone when I wanted to be social and was social when I needed time to myself..
and I'm pretty happy.. despite it.
I know it wasn't a deficiency on my part, but I still miss Eric. I'm not lacking for dates, but I am lacking a sense of fulfillment in my company. Sometimes I feel like a hollow arm ornament who wants to scream at the poor shy boy sitting across the table from me and tell him I'm a powerful wonderful fantastic woman no matter what he thinks, and that I'm smart and going places,... to which he would sit aghast and hurt before whispering "I knew that",.... and I would feel like an ass, and still as hollow as I felt before.
I wish I knew how to link pictures, as I have a wonderful picture that always makes me happy that I wish I could share. Someone give me the code.
Jeff's going to have a baby, many of my friends are getting married or have married, I am not only single, but as someone said to me "oh, single AGAIN?" as if it were some blemish on my character written in indelible ink, staining my life like a scarlet letter. I am happy.
I remembered Baby B's birthday on St Patty's day, and had a glass of green champagne and toasted him and his wonderful mother...So Kat, just so you know, I made a bunch of drunk Cornell Seniors (20+) join me in a toast for the health and prosperity of you and yours, I think it's frightfully just, most of them were born with the silver spoon stuck in their arses, and they toasted you because I told them to. What a powertrip.
Not that I'm conceited... or anything,..
My dogs are well, my wonderful horse is very fat and pregnant and has been a wonderful girl. The baby moves around and I can place my hand on her stomach and feel it kick and squirm... it fills me with joy and dread. Dread of something going wrong, and joy at it's continued life and vigor, and Gabrielle's obvious health and good temper.
Sometimes I wonder, who remembers me anymore? Do they think of me as much as I pine for them?