Candy Hearts and Resolutions of Amber
It was early morning, and Changmin was far from amused. He stood in the narrow doorway, towering form leaning against the azure painted wall, face contorted into an angry expression. He watched as his friend messed with his camcorder, innocently propped up at the headboard.
He was twisting the black cap, trying to get it off the lens, confused gaze sweeping over the metallic recording device.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He strode into the room with an aura of menace, and the older boy jumped up in shock, ready to explain, only to quickly cover his eyes in mock embarrassment.
“If I wanted to see your naked body, I would have joined you in the shower.”
“You shouldn’t have been in here in the first place- you wake me up at an ungodly hour and now you’re in my room, messing with my high tech equipment that’s easily breakable. Besides, the lens cap snaps off, you don’t twist it.” He informed, shaking his head as he pulled simple black boxers up long, toned legs, throwing the discarded towel at his friend’s head.
Junsu made of scene of dodging the dirty long piece of cotton. He pouted and sat at the edge of the bed, clad in dark blue jeans and a heavy emerald green sweater. Thin sky blue socks hid his feet from view, and when the younger boy looked closer, he could make out the outline print of navy blue dolphins. He shook his head and bent at the waist to pull clothes out of his overnight bag, allowing Junsu the chance to catapult the pale yellow towel back at him, aiming for his butt. It hit his intended target but Changmin chose to ignore him, focusing on getting dressed hours before his regular time to get up.
He pulled on dark cuffed jeans and slid a belt through the small loops, securing the pants low on his hips. He quickly tugged on a random short sleeve shirt, and on top of that he added a red and white checkered button down. Unlike Junsu, who had a thing for childish socks, he covered his feet with traditional plain black ones.
By the time he finished getting dressed, he could clearly see the impatience on his friend’s face. He grinned and slowly pulled out his brush, making Junsu about ready to explode.
“Changmin! Both of us know that you never have to brush your hair, go dry it and let’s go. Hurry up!” He said loudly, adding a bounce at the end as if to display his excitement to get started.
He did just that, faster than before, because quite frankly, he didn’t need the older boy to start pounding on the bathroom door, shrieking warnings at him if he didn’t speed up his pace.
He returned to his room to find it empty, and he quickly grabbed his gear and headed downstairs. Junsu was buckling his boots and he already had his black hip length coat buckled up the front. Changmin slapped his arm and slipped on his leather shoes, hand taking his own dark maroon coat that the shorter man offered him. After slipping it on, he grabbed the camcorder and turned it on, noting the battery charge wasn’t as full as he thought. Too late now, he would never hear the end of it if he told Junsu he had to plug it in. They would just have to hopefully finish before the device died.
Junsu was about to open the door but Changmin trained the camera on him and stopped him by blocking the door with his left foot.
“Don’t you have introductions that you want to make with our audience?”
“Changmin-“ The older boy’s face flushed slightly, suddenly nervous of being in front of the camera. “Uh, I guess.” He coughed awkwardly, and bit his lower lip lightly. “My name is Kim Junsu, and my snarky cameraman is Shim Changmin. It’s February fourteenth, and this is the experiment that we’re conducting for our blog, BangShinKi. It’s our first video opinion blog entry, and the topic is, obviously, love. We’ll be asking strangers on the streets what they think ‘love’ is and hear their views on the subject. It’s really cold and early so I don’t know how many-”
“Jeez Junsu, once you start talking, you really can’t stop, can you?” Changmin interrupted, panning the camera away a little. The older man glared at him before turning abruptly and successfully opened the door, almost taking off Changmin’s foot as he swung it open with force.
The younger boy laughed as he followed him out of the apartment.
It was indeed cold and the lack of people was a little discouraging. They made their way down the almost deserted street, and they quickly entered the comforting café at the corner. They ordered hot herbal tea and Changmin turned to his companion.
“Are you going to interview someone or what? You’re wasting time.” And battery life, but he wouldn’t be telling Junsu that.
Junsu stared around the cozy establishment and his eyes landed on a slightly older man, book in his lap and coffee cup in his hands, no doubt warming his chill, slim fingers. His thick rimmed glasses sat comfortably against the bridge of his nose, attention pulled deeply into the string of words and paragraphs on the page in front of him.
He walked over casually, Changmin in tow, and cleared his voice to get the man’s attention.
“Excuse me, but my friend and I were wondering if you’d like to share your opinion on what ‘love’ is for our blog?” He stated professionally, and Changmin almost snorted, body trembling with inner laughter. Did Junsu just rehearse that as they had walked to the table? He kept it in though as an elbow met his ribs discreetly.
The brunette smiled warmly and his hand gestured to the seats across from him, the two quickly taking the offered plush chairs.
“Please introduce yourself to our viewers please.” Junsu said stiffly, tongue darting out to moisten plump lips.
“My name is Jaejoong, I’m twenty four years old, and I own the clothing store ‘VIP’ in downtown Seoul.”
“What is ‘love’ to you?”
Jaejoong paused, pretending to think seriously on the question that was purposed to him. His eyes darted to the door before focusing on the camera once more, eyes shining in delight.
“Love is waking up to find the object of your affection in the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.” He answered simply, taking a sip from his off-white cup, porcelain hiding a wide smile.
“That was…very deep, hyung.”
“Well I have years of experience; that answer only comes naturally now.”
Junsu took in the older man’s posture, relaxed and confident; he saw Jaejoong in a different light now, more mature and older, wiser.
“Is that all you wanted Junsu?” He asked, soft chuckle escaping him as he set his cup back down on the clothed table.
The younger boy’s face flushed and he nodded quickly, standing up. “Y-Yeah it is; come on Minnie, let’s go.” He pulled his friend up by the sleeve, ignoring his loud outburst of laughter that always seemed to embarrass him. Jaejoong waved goodbye with a smile after they had grabbed their to go teas and almost knocked down a customer coming into the café in their haste.
“Slow down you two, you’re going to kill someone.” He said teasingly, and Changmin smirked.
“Sorry hyung; we’re just excited to work on our new project for BangShinKi.”
“Oh, and what is it about?”
“We planned to ask strangers what their thoughts on ‘love’ were, but genius Su over here got nervous and made a beeline for the first person he saw that he already knew.” The younger boy explained, almost making Junsu feel guilty. Almost.
“Yunho, since I’ve already broken a rule, why don’t you just answer the question too?”
The older man glanced past them, making eye contact with the slim brunette that sat in the corner, decent sized text resting in his lap, page marked with a simple finger.
“Love is a bond between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners.”
Junsu and Changmin starred at him, making the older man grin. “Well, that’s just what I think. I’m sure as you continue on with your little experiment you’ll get so many different ones. Love can’t be defined; “we” give it the meaning that fits best with our own lives.”
He waved at them and hurried into the warm building, body instantly taking its place next to his lover’s own, strong arm wrapping around a lithe waist. Yunho took a sip of the still hot coffee before leaning comfortably against Jaejoong as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
They watched for a moment longer before a beep brought their attention to Changmin’s camcorder.
“What was that?” Junsu asked curiously, trying to see the led screen. The younger man didn’t let him, and gestured for him to keep walking down the street in search for their next interviewee. He watched the now red blinking bar in the upper right hand corner like a hawk; they had thirty minutes at the most.
He suggested the older woman on the corner glancing down at her silver wrist watch, heeled foot tapping against the cement sidewalk. “Forgo the introductions, okay? Just ask her outright.” They didn’t have time to play games if they were going to finish up in time. Junsu didn’t understand but did what he was told anyway, and received the answer of an impatient lover. “Love is when you can lie to your spouse about being on time and still have the guts to act like you’re going to change but don’t.”
They thanked her awkwardly and moved on, hurrying further in the opposite direction. Right outside of a famous restaurant a father and his daughter were waiting outside.
“Excuse me, sir. We’re doing a project on ‘love’. Would you mind telling us what the meaning of ‘love’ is to you?” Junsu asked politely, and the man smiled, ready to answer, but the young girl in his arms beat him to it.
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day!” She said enthusiastically, waving her arms about. The three men laughed at her cute answer and Junsu thanked her, grin on his face.
Their next interviewee was sitting at the bus stop, lap full of large, red and pink boxes smothered in white hearts. His name was Donghae, his voice was small and timid and it matched his odd appearance, large-framed glasses hanging off his nose. Junsu hesitated to ask him the question, but Changmin was very persistent about this one.
“Love is like a bullet that shoots you out the sky and traps you in a metal cage and steals all your money and makes you buy it presents and flowers, and yet at the end of the day, you still love them.”
“….” Junsu blinked. Changmin held back a snort.
They continued to interview, and as time went on, Junsu’s confidence grew. They were receiving so many different and unique answers, he had expected nothing like it. His excitement fueled his actions, and he stopped in front of a sad looking man standing in front of a well known jewelry store before Changmin could catch him.
“Excuse me, but my friend and I are doing an interview with strangers to get their take on what love means to them- what does the word ‘love’ mean to you?” He rushed to ask, thinking that their experiment was the best conducted study of all time.
The man kept staring straight, as if in a daze, and Junsu was going to ask again because maybe he hadn’t heard his question- but the stranger’s lips moved on their own, not acknowledging the pair at all, answering in a monotone, emotionless voice.
“Love is like a desert. You feel like you’re going to faint and there’s no end in sight; it just keeps going and going and you can never get any relief from the heat. You eventually die, mind filled with thoughts of mirages and water, but at least you can finally rest after enduring everything the best you could.”
The man shook his head, unshed tears moistening his seemingly soulless chocolate brown eyes. He glanced at them before wiping his face on the back of his sleeve and turning to them. He thrust a large bouquet of roses against Junsu’s chest, the younger boy wincing slightly and his arms still came up to grasp them, fingers crinkling the pink plastic at the stems.
“You can have these; I have no use for them anymore.” His voice sounded so low and defeated, and Junsu’s heart clenched in his chest as he watched the slouched man leave, shadowed form becoming smaller and smaller as he continued down the sidewalk until he turned the corner a few streets down.
Changmin turned the camcorder back to his friend.
“Well, that went well. We’ve interviewed a lot of people Junsu. How about you tell the viewers what your take on ‘love’ is?”
The older boy’s mouth opened and closed a few times, gaze sad and defeated, embarrassed by what had just happened and eyes downcast as he looked at the perfect yet flawed bright red flowers in his arms.
He glanced up at Changmin, before shifting his troubled gaze to the camera, voice soft and confused.
“I…I don’t know.” He admitted honestly, mind clustered with too many thoughts running through his head at a rapid pace.
The camcorder beeped one last time, and the screen went dark as the device died after thirty three minutes of footage, Junsu’s last look haunting the now dull display.
~~
“So I’m almost done editing the clips together, but I’ll need you to look over it just to make sure it looks good right now.”
Junsu looked up from his long abandoned hot chocolate. It was probably murky and disgusting now. “What?” He asked, blinking at his best friend.
Changmin’s lips straightened into a thin line. “Whatever,” he sighed. Honestly, this little faze Junsu was going through was starting to piss Changmin off. It had only been four days since it started, but it only took a few hours for him to become annoyed about the situation. Okay, so maybe that one guy wasn’t a good candidate for their Valentine’s Day video log, but Changmin edited him out. Yet still, he could not fathom why Junsu was acting like this way over some heartbroken stranger.
Changmin took a glance at his watch. “Ah heck, I need to go.” He immediately started to pack up his equipment.
Finally, for the first time that day, Junsu perked up, “Where are you going?” And his best friend sent him a rather ominous stare. “…what?”
He wrapped the bag strap around his shoulder and across his chest. “How many times do I have to repeat myself to you? I start my joint-enrollment this week. I’m taking a multi-media course.”
“Oh.” Junsu’s expression was crestfallen. “Well, um, have fun.”
Changmin rolled his eyes. “You need more friends. And I’m not talking about Xiahki and Hoki, or those cats you talk to at the animal shelter. People, I’m talking about people, Junsu. Your brother doesn’t count either.”
Junsu threw his balled up napkins at him.
The weather wasn’t as adventurous as yesterday, grey and chilly with an overcast. Junsu strolled down the streets of Seoul, balled up in his oversized jacket that wasn’t fit for the conditions and a bright red scarf to match the romantic festivities.
Now, Valentine’s Day wasn’t Junsu’s favorite holiday per se; however it did follow close in third, after Christmas and his birthday (which Changmin constantly reminded him was not a real holiday and he wasn’t special enough to have a day dedicated him). Just, the feeling of it, the aura of all things love floating around always intrigued Junsu. And then the thought of falling in love himself-
Junsu smiled. He couldn’t wait for that day to come. Changmin always said that he had an obsession with falling in love, or at least the thought of it.
Regardless of the distasteful weather, the park was vibrant, full of laughing children with their parents and mingling couples. Junsu strolled along the path that weaved through the park while humming a random tune.
Today would have been another perfect day to get in some last minute interviews, but Junsu was inept with camera equipment. That was Changmin’s job after all. The only thing Junsu was good at was manning the website and updating their blog. That was all he was allowed to do too, under Changmin dictatorship, of course.
Maybe a written interview? The boy clucked his tongue, immersed in his thoughts. That could work actually, and he could split their Valentine’s Day log into two posts. Unfortunately for the Kim, his pockets were void of any items, including pen and paper. He cursed under his breath.
A couple of hours had passed by, and Junsu had spent them sitting on a bench in the park, people watching. It was amusing until a couple of people in one group gave him strange looks, and Junsu wondered if he looked like a stalker just sitting here. He decided to move to another group of people, yet nothing was catching his eye. His wondering eyes eventually landed on one man approaching him from the left, talking on his cell phone. Junsu mused over the guy’s choice of clothing, warm and classy, but his face scrunched up at the sight of sock-less feet in black loafers.
Then the stranger tilted his head at the perfect angle and Junsu felt a lump in his throat instantly. It was the guy that got rejected by his date just a few days ago. Junsu moved in a flash, dashing around to the back of the bench, but just his luck, he had to pick the bench that all the ducks in the park liked to rest under. There was only one, but Junsu only needed to be quacked at once to shout in surprise and scramble away from the evil beast. And to continue with the fantastic luck, his foot caught the edge of the stone path and sent him tumbling to the ground, his face just a few centimeters away from a pair of black loafers.
“Aw, crap-!” he hissed.
“Hey, are you alright?” A hand reach down to assist the fallen Junsu, but the latter refused to move his body. He only nodded to confirm that he was uninjured. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” he replied quickly, tucking his head in further. Don’t let him see you!
The man hummed, and then laughed. Did he just laugh at me? Junsu frowned. “Well since you’re alright, you should probably stand up. People are staring at you.”
Junsu’s shoulders deflated; a sign of defeat. He gathered himself, using the other’s outstretched hand as temporary leverage. However, he still kept his head facing the ground once he was back on his feet. “T-thanks…” He bowed.
“No problem.” The stranger grinned.
“Well, I should go now.” Junsu bobbed his head, prepared to run away in the opposite direction, and hide forever in the corner of his closet. Yet slim fingers wrapped his arm, preventing him from fulfilling his escape plan. Junsu was hesitant to look back.
“Hey, don’t I know you?”
No you do not; now let me go. “Sir, you must be mistaken,” replied Junsu, repeatedly bowing his head at the other.
“No, no, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you before,” the stranger paused, biting his lips in pure concentration. “Ah!” He snapped his fingers before slowly releasing Junsu’s arm. “You’re that guy.”
“Sir, I think there are a lot of ‘that guy’s in Seoul--.”
“No, no, you’re that guy… with the lanky cameraman.”
Cautiously, Junsu began to raise his head, eyes taking in the familiar lips, nose, and eyes that were void of tears this time. He could clearly see how dark the stranger’s eyes were, almost onyx. “Um.” Now what was he supposed to do? “… I’m sorry…”
“What?”
“… I’m sorry?” Junsu frowned.
That was when his new acquaintance guffawed. “For what? Getting a bouquet of flowers shoved in your face on my behalf?”
That wasn’t exactly funny, Junsu grumbled, more like humiliating, and it made him feel guilty ever since. “Um, maybe?” he said again.
“Well, in that case, I apologize for my behavior that day. It wasn’t my best.”
Junsu nodded in understanding. “It’s fine…” he muttered.
That was when the other boy smiled, yet the meaning behind it, Junsu couldn’t pinpoint it. After a few seconds of awkward silence though, he sighed.
“I guess this is where we go separate ways,” spoke Junsu, eyes traveling elsewhere.
“You know, love can’t be explained.”
“H-huh?”
“Love… It’s not something you can put into words. It’s something that can’t be asked nor answered,” and with that the stranger took his turn to leave first while Junsu blinked confusing at him. He continued to stand that way even when the guy glanced over his shoulder saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“How romantic.”
“Shut up, Changmin,” snapped Junsu, shooting daggers into his best friend’s back.
The insult, however, left Changmin unfazed as he continued to type feverishly on his laptop. “You said you wanted my opinion.”
“Not when you’re going to be so boorish about it.” The older of the two plopped down in a rolling chair, body turning slack instantly. “I mean, he just sounded so… experienced when he said it. Love can’t be explained.”
“That’s what everyone says when they just want to sound all philosophical.”
Junsu sighed in frustration that Changmin could not pinpoint for any reason.
After a few more clicks and clacks, Changmin closed the laptop and set it aside. “So what, you apologized, he apologized, the sky is blue, grass is green, idiots still reproduce with other idiots, and so on. Can we finish the video now?”
In simpler terms, what is done is done and it is time to move on. Junsu didn’t like how abrasive his friend was being but he nodded anyway. His face said otherwise.
~~
The days were closing in fast and the site was up and ready for that lovely holiday. Changmin had finished the video a couple of days ago, and Junsu completed the written entry last night.
And it was perfect.
Except for one tiny little thing.
What did Kim Junsu think about love?
Believe it or not, that was the most crucial part of the entire project. What did the masterminds behind this lovesick madness think about the word ‘love?’ Changmin didn’t have much to say-he never did-and Junsu couldn’t fathom why their followers liked him so much. He was the definition of asexual in Junsu’s eyes. His excerpt was barely two sentences long.
Junsu, on the other hand, had nothing. But why? He was Kim-freaking-Junsu, Valentine’s Day expert, the knower of romance and love and everything that revolved around it. He was Korea’s Messiah on Valentine’s Day!
And even an hour later, he still had nothing. And in all honestly, he blamed that guy. Ever since that day at the park, he’s been stuck like this, mentally.
It’s something that can’t be asked nor answered.
It was such a simple answer but Junsu could not understand why it seemed so complicated to him. Love was even in the dictionary! So of course it could be put into words; it’s just a matter of how the person interprets it, right?
“…I’ll be right back,” said Junsu, hopping up from his computer chair and grabbing his coat that was lying on the bed. Changmin shot him a perplexed look followed by an eye roll. “Tell the reject I said ‘hi,’” he yelled after his friend who slammed the door as he screamed back, “I’m not going to see him!”
It was one thing to be useless with camera equipment, but Junsu also had a knack for lacking common sense. He ran out the house without telling anyone where he was going, snagged a bus into the heart of the Seoul with the little bit of change he had left and no subway pass, and that’s when he realized that he had entirely no idea where he was going. He could barely tell where he was, not recognizing any of the street signs.
Oh, and he forgot his cell phone.
Junsu cursed under his breath and decided to just keep walking to at least get his priorities straight for tomorrow. Underneath it all, he wondered if Changmin was laughing at him at this moment. Was he really that obvious? He didn’t mention the stranger at all; he doesn’t even know his name! All Junsu could remember were black eyes and sock-less feet.
Soon two hours flew by without warning, mostly spent sitting at the bus stop. The bus had already came by twice, but Junsu wasn’t in the mood to con the driver or the passengers in letting him ride for free. So he sat there, pathetically, waiting for nothing. Nothing like being lost on the day before Valentine’s Day, mused Junsu. No candy for his dogs to steal, or chocolate for him to engulf by himself, or fake roses to throw at his brother and Changmin. None of that. No. All because he just had to come out into the city to look for some guy he hardly knew who was making him question his own thoughts. And really, just one guy? Junsu scoffed, startling the old lady next to him “Who does he think he is, that bastar-Ow!”
A purse came colliding against the side of his skull, those metal brackets rocking his brainwaves a bit too hard. Junsu glared down at the elder who matched him in expression. “Wash your tongue young man.”
“Wash off your old, smelly perfume, old hag,” he retorted.
The lady gasped in horror, and Junsu found ample enough time to skitter away before she murdered him with that ugly bag. “Now he’s got me cursing at old ladies!” the boy fumed under his breath as he continued to escape.
Night fell considerably fast and Junsu was still stuck downtown. This time, he knew where he was, roughing it out in around the café that sat on the corner. It was windy and chilly, biting, and the rubbing-shoulders trick was not working. Junsu grumbled to himself, looking around for anyone who looked remotely nice enough to help him. He may be an interviewer, but this was intense to him. Asking innocent questions was way different from asking for money. He could borrow a cell phone but his memorization skills were disastrous. He wondered if anyone knew that he was gone.
Junsu passed by the café and continued on, vaguely remembering parts on this side of town. The streetlight with the wife who was late for her date, the famous restaurant with the little girl and her dad, the bus stop where the pitiful loser sat. Numerous of spots bombarded his memories, and Junsu felt a bit more comfortable about where he was heading. If he couldn’t find a way home by the time he trekked into unknown territory again, he could at least go back to the café.
The night was high, probably close to ten. He missed dinner, Junsu scowled, kicking at a random pebble on the floor. “Next time don’t go running after unknown guys without any damn cash, Kim Junsu!” He hissed as he knocked himself in the head a few times.
“Well, this is just too surreal.”
Speak of the devil. Junsu immediately looked up, eyes wide and mouth set straight. No freaking way.
“Hello.” The guy smiled and bobbed his head (and Junsu couldn’t help but notice those ungodly sock-less feet).
“So… what is your name?” Was the first question out of the stranger’s mouth. They had relocated back to the café, much to Junsu’s delight, and now they were situated in a petite booth, sitting across from one another with two hot drinks and a triple chocolate cake on the table, barely touched.
“Junsu,” he replied sheepishly, staring down at his cup. “Um, what’s yours?”
“Yoochun,” the now-named stranger grinned.
Finally, a name, thought Junsu, biting the corner of his bottom lip. Now just to get all this confusion wrapped up and Junsu could go home, somehow.
“So, Junsu, do you always talk to yourself like that?”
Junsu took a small sip of his drink, courtesy of his new acquaintance, before shaking his head embarrassingly. Honestly, he did, and Changmin said he needed to get that fixed. “Just a spur of the moment.”
Yoochun hummed, taking a tiny piece of the cake. “So still out doing interviews or something? You were lacking a camera again.”
Junsu shook his head. “N-no, just-um-just decided to take a stroll.”
“In that?” A fork was pointed in his direction, indicating to the weather inappropriate clothes Junsu was sporting. “Doesn’t really strike me as strolling wear,” chuckled Yoochun.
A small laugh fell past Junsu’s lip as he brushed down the side of his hair with his knuckles. “Just a spur of the moment…” he repeated.
“Yeah, I understand.”
Silence overtook them for a little while, Junsu switching between his beverage and the cake while Yoochun took lesser bites. Once or twice, they’d accidentally meet each others’ eyes and each time, Junsu would surrender and look away. Yoochun would simply just smile.
“You know, I’ve met you three times already and look at us. We’re already on our first date.”
Junsu sputtered and blushed. Date?! “W-what-excuse me?”
“Wow,” Yoochun guffawed, covering his mouth with his hand as his eyes formed into crescents, “J-Junsu, I’m just kidding; the look on your face, seriously.”
Junsu huffed, offended, and stabbed his fork into the half-eaten cake, snatching a large chunk and shoving it in his mouth. The nerve of this guy, ugh.
“You know you're kind of endearing when your cheeks are puffed up like that.”
“Endearing? Are you hitting on me?” scowled Junsu.
Yoochun shrugged. “I don’t know, am I?” He turned his attention to finishing his drink.
Junsu frowned, conflicted with the response he just received. Just last week this guy in front of him was on the verge of tears and now he was flirting with him? Don’t get him wrong, Junsu appreciated the beverage very much, but this was not a date, and all he wanted as an explanation. Besides, he wasn’t even attracted to this guy. “Look, I don’t know what kind of game you’re trying to play here but I just wanted to clear up a few things with you-“.
“Really?” snorted Yoochun, expression knowing, and Junsu glowered. “Hit me.”
I really want to, but Junsu knew he didn’t mean it in that context. “What did you mean when you told me that day at the park that love didn’t have a meaning…? I mean, it’s love; it has to have a meaning, right?”
This time Yoochun gave Junsu the bemused look. “Have you ever been in love, Junsu?”
Said person opened his mouth and closed it shortly after. No, he hasn’t, since crushes never counted but he wanted to be. He would like to be. Junsu shook his head.
“You go around asking everyone what they think about love yet you’ve never experienced it yourself. So then how would you know what love is?”
That… made a lot of sense actually. Junsu could only blink at the other, feeling incredibly stupid. Maybe that was why Changmin always had some incredulous or ridiculous input about the word. That probably explained why everyone had such detailed answers (or pitiful ones), yet they were all different. However… Junsu took a deep breath and spoke in a defeated tone. “That doesn’t explain about your answer…”
Yoochun leaned back against the back of the booth and crossed his arms, a reminiscing smile on his lips. “I thought I was in love once, just a few days ago, actually. I know you remember.”
Junsu’s brows furrowed.
“It was a very strange feeling. Indescribable. I really can’t put it into words. And I thought, ‘oh, this must be it. It took me two years, two long years to figure it out.’ Then, of course, instead of saying ‘I love you,’ I receive a ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and a ‘let’s break up.’ And then she proceeds to tell me that she’s been seeing someone for the last two months.” The smiled stayed glued to his face which was ironic compared to Junsu’s horror-struck one. Yoochun continued, “That spot where I found you just now,” and he nudged his head indicating the spot a few blocks down, “that was where she broke up with me.”
Junsu’s façade stayed the same for an extra minute or so, until he was able to fully register the story. “… I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s not your fault, and besides, I don’t think we were really in love like I thought we were. It hurt, stung, but I’ll get over it. I’m sure of it.” His eyes still had an essence of sadness, but there was a spark floating in there, somewhere.
Junsu timidly ate more cake, trying his best not to express any form of sorrow for the man. He could tell that Yoochun didn’t need it nor wanted it, but still, how could someone be so heartless like that? Stuff that like truly destroyed the foundation behind love. It destroyed everything. Unless she was in love with that other person…
Yoochun sighed, capturing Junsu’s partial attention. He checked his watch. “Dang, it’s late. I should probably head back home before my mom sends out the search squad again,” he joked, causing Junsu to grin a little bit. “Hey listen,” Yoochun reached out, placing his hand on top of Junsu’s, “don’t worry about it okay? Guess it just wasn’t meant to be, y’know?” He squeezed the other teen’s hand and gave him a comforting smile, and Junsu matched him, reassuringly.
Then there was that tiny, micro-sized, and silent spark.
It was only until a squeaky-voiced waiter shuffled over to ask them if they needed anything else, quickly switching over to, “Oh, I’m s-sorry; I didn’t mean to interrupt you two. I-I didn’t realize-“
Junsu pulled his hand out first and ducked his head, face flaming. Yoochun was the one to speak in a humorous tone, “It’s nothing really. Ha, can we have our check please?”
They stepped out the café side-by-side, and Junsu took the initiative of saying goodbye first, bowing at Yoochun. “Thank you for the, um, food and drink… and the bus money…” He finished, fading towards the end. How embarrassing.
Yoochun waved him off. “It’s fine, Junsu. You’ll just have to pay me back next week for our second date.” A wink and a laugh.
Junsu glared. He had a sudden urge to throw the change at that large forehead, but he needed it to catch the last bus home. No words came out, but the glare stayed, saying more than enough for Junsu.
Unfazed, Yoochun bobbed his head in farewell. “Don’t miss the bus, okay?” He walked off while Junsu stood grounded, watching.
He smiled.
~~
“How romantic.”
A pillow went flying across the room, knocking Changmin in the side of the head.
“I have yet to understand how two lovely people like your parents gave birth to such a devil spawn like you,” was his rather calm retort, chucking the pillow aside.
Junsu ignored that statement and twirled back in his chair towards the computer screen that had their updated blog pulled up. The hits were flowing in just as Junsu imagined and everything was riding smoothly. A perfect way to start off Valentine’s Day.
Minus the fact that Junsu was grounded for the next fourteen days for waltzing into the house at two o‘clock in the morning. How funny.
In all honesty, Junsu didn’t care, and Changmin said that if he brought up that sock-less schmuck one more time, he was going to tie Junsu up and eat all of the chocolate roses in front of him (and Junsu hadn’t brought it up in the last hour but that never stopped him from grinning like a fool).
There was a knock at the door, and Junho poked his head in. “Hey, rebel, you got something in the mail.” He brought his arm around, swinging the item at his twin brother who caught it in a flailing manner. Junho just shook his head. It was a box, wrapped in shiny pink and read plastic with a floppy note on top. “I didn’t know you had a lover, carbon copy.”
“Get out, doppelganger!”
“Wow,” muttered Changmin. The older twin complied after mocking his brother as he shut the door though his voice echoed down the hall as his continued. Changmin snickered as Junsu hastily ripped the wrapped off, the top of the box flying off with the paper. “Who in their psychotic mind sent you that?”
The answer he received was a smile that could rival the sun itself, just as bright and blinding.
“You look really stupid right now, you know that?” he glowered, chucking the pillow at his best friend.
A pile of candy hearts flew in the air before bouncing off the carpet along with the now empty box and a note that contained a name and number. Happy Valentines Day, Junsu :)
Junsu still couldn’t find a way to explain the meaning behind love since the first day he met Yoochun, but he wouldn’t mind trying to figure it out.
“How the hell did he get your home address anyway?”