Why?
I don't use the word hate often, but I HATE my father. He is the most evil man I have ever met in my entire life. You know something is wrong when you're four years old and planning on how you are going to murder your father and make it look like an accident.
Yesterday my father decided that he was going to critique and tell me everything that was wrong with me. He called me stupid, disgusting, ugly, fat, worthless, and failed to acknlowledge me as one of the family. I don't know, maybe it's me, but I'm not so sure that father's are supposed to make their children feel like big pieces of shit. He makes me want to throw myself off of a bridge, because no matter how hard I try I am never EVER good enough in his eyes. I'm not as good looking as he would like me to be, I am studying all the wrong things and am stupid, and he basically told me that I was worthless. So, why the hell am I trying so hard at life?
If it weren't for my Mother, I would have been long gone by 8th grade. But she keeps me going. She has given me the strength and has shown me the way to a more postive future. She is truly my angel and I love her more and more as I grow. It is important to remember those who care about you.
We all learn from our experiences and this is just another lesson that I need to get through. I could let this get to me, which it has, but I'm not going to let it eat at me any longer. I'm going to live as if each day is my last because he has taught me that life is important. Not to worry about all the little things in life, but to acknowledge the bigger pictures. I want to be able to become the woman that he never thought I could be, with a past of memories that far exceed anything he could have done. I will be better then him and I will be strong.
I really just needed to get that off of my chest.........................
Yesterday my father decided that he was going to critique and tell me everything that was wrong with me. He called me stupid, disgusting, ugly, fat, worthless, and failed to acknlowledge me as one of the family. I don't know, maybe it's me, but I'm not so sure that father's are supposed to make their children feel like big pieces of shit. He makes me want to throw myself off of a bridge, because no matter how hard I try I am never EVER good enough in his eyes. I'm not as good looking as he would like me to be, I am studying all the wrong things and am stupid, and he basically told me that I was worthless. So, why the hell am I trying so hard at life?
If it weren't for my Mother, I would have been long gone by 8th grade. But she keeps me going. She has given me the strength and has shown me the way to a more postive future. She is truly my angel and I love her more and more as I grow. It is important to remember those who care about you.
We all learn from our experiences and this is just another lesson that I need to get through. I could let this get to me, which it has, but I'm not going to let it eat at me any longer. I'm going to live as if each day is my last because he has taught me that life is important. Not to worry about all the little things in life, but to acknowledge the bigger pictures. I want to be able to become the woman that he never thought I could be, with a past of memories that far exceed anything he could have done. I will be better then him and I will be strong.
I really just needed to get that off of my chest.........................