(no subject)
how can i sleep tonight?
how
how can i when i no i am going to wake up the same way tomorrow?
i fear tomorrow...
i know im going to wake up to this life of mine in which i wished was just an illusion just a dream
all day i go
without a simple hello
which would simply make my day
just to see and hear someone say
i care, ill be there
maybe just maybe someone who loved me?
is that to much to ask?
if it is im sorry its not like i ever asked for anything else
the loneliness kills me
all day i go
and no one ever knows
im crying on the inside
I CANT EVEN PRETEND ANYMORE!
I CANT FUCKIN FAKE A SMILE
I CANT FUCKING FAKE IM OK...
people lie to me
people cheat me
...when all i want is for them to be a friend
IM SORRY I DONT kNOw WHAT I DID BUT I APOLOGIZE
...for everything ive done
everything i havent done
...everything i have yet to do
i am terrified i dont know wat to do with what im feeling
who can i talk to if i have no one?
i only know to hurt myself.
i only know to cut and carve wat i feel...
all my pain
all my depression
all my agression into me
my legs, my wrists, my arms..
oh god why me...
just kill me
oh god why me...
JUST FUCKING TAKE AWAY MY LIFE OF MISERY
what person derserves to live like this....
im not a person im worthless shit...
im just a waste, i dont want to continue to live
if i'll never be something or someone
my fear of tomorrow has overtaken and won.
I should've stuck with it. My choice to be alone.
Not another chance, to cut me from your plans, and say I'm never there, don't give me your bullshit. I can't stand it anymore, never loved you never will. Here's my chance to cut you out of my life. You were never there. This all never happened. It was just a nightmare.
Then why do I still have the scars?