i want my old life back....
All work and no play makes Irene a boring, lonely and miserable girl.
I'm starting to realise just how bad the past three months have been affecting me. 2005 had been such an awesome year... and I have to say 2006 hasn't had a very promising start. Work has been a source of major frustration lately... owing to some of my screwups, as well as to the fact that sometimes I have to deal with the most unreasonable and unsavoury of characters in this business. What breaks my heart even more is this job has begun to take over my personal life... cutting into my weekends, causing me so much anxiety that I've had to take sedatives... I'm a wreck. Last Saturday was the first time I'd seen some of my closest friends in weeks (or even months!), and I truly felt like just a shadow of my former self. I used to be fun... and now I'm just terribly boring and miserable and I don't know what to do.
I can't quit my job just yet because...
1. I'm as poor as a rat and I need the money
2. My boss has been really nice to me and I can;t think of a good way to break it to her that I want to ditch the company
3. I don't know how soon I could find another job
4. I have realized that I don't even know what I want to do with my life.
I initially enjoyed this job (and I think I still would be enjoying with it, if I didn;t have to deal with certain ill-mannered jerks on a fairly regular basis). But I don't know... can I really hack it in this industry? What else am I qualified to do? I feel so shaken and drained from events of the past months that my self confidence has plummeted to an all time low. I know how lame it is... and I hate being in this situation. I know a lot of people will say that I actually have my work cut out for me and I should deal with it... but I guess maybe I'm just too exhausted to figure it all out.
I haven't been updating this journal much, but now part of me wishes I had managed to vent instead of letting all this build up inside. Maybe then I wouldn't have inexplicable feelings of anxiety and find myself crying for the silliest reasons. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends... I miss the old me. :( :( :(
I'm starting to realise just how bad the past three months have been affecting me. 2005 had been such an awesome year... and I have to say 2006 hasn't had a very promising start. Work has been a source of major frustration lately... owing to some of my screwups, as well as to the fact that sometimes I have to deal with the most unreasonable and unsavoury of characters in this business. What breaks my heart even more is this job has begun to take over my personal life... cutting into my weekends, causing me so much anxiety that I've had to take sedatives... I'm a wreck. Last Saturday was the first time I'd seen some of my closest friends in weeks (or even months!), and I truly felt like just a shadow of my former self. I used to be fun... and now I'm just terribly boring and miserable and I don't know what to do.
I can't quit my job just yet because...
1. I'm as poor as a rat and I need the money
2. My boss has been really nice to me and I can;t think of a good way to break it to her that I want to ditch the company
3. I don't know how soon I could find another job
4. I have realized that I don't even know what I want to do with my life.
I initially enjoyed this job (and I think I still would be enjoying with it, if I didn;t have to deal with certain ill-mannered jerks on a fairly regular basis). But I don't know... can I really hack it in this industry? What else am I qualified to do? I feel so shaken and drained from events of the past months that my self confidence has plummeted to an all time low. I know how lame it is... and I hate being in this situation. I know a lot of people will say that I actually have my work cut out for me and I should deal with it... but I guess maybe I'm just too exhausted to figure it all out.
I haven't been updating this journal much, but now part of me wishes I had managed to vent instead of letting all this build up inside. Maybe then I wouldn't have inexplicable feelings of anxiety and find myself crying for the silliest reasons. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends... I miss the old me. :( :( :(