thoughts

[iralivehaha]

just a lot going thru my mind over a lot of things ppl have said to me and all....about my decisions and my life and everything....so im jsut thinking about that...and im still gunna hold on to the past b/c i choose too....and if i die lonely so b it then..i dont know what the future holds....who knwos i might get what i want...u cant predict the future it...u can only hope to welcome it with open arms...im a very emo kid now...i changed a lot i think over the year or so....i dont think i really dress emo but if u see my wrist and all that i wear...it all has some meaning for it being there..everything i wear signifies something special or a person that did something in my life or a memory or something...its all there...i dunno this is very random...its odd...but i dont care what anyone says about it...i love 1 person forever...whether it b friend or whatever..i will love that person forever....there r so many ppl i love that i wish i could show them how much i do but sometimes i dont know how too....ill try my best and i think im getting better in some ways with my life but i dunno...i shouldve said this a long time ago but i am realizing all the good things ppl see in me and ive started to see them...they just dont always stay out all the time...well i love u all and that 1 special person i never wanted ot have leave my arms but she did...what happens IN THE END is for the best...

o yea....my fav music video i think is BREAKING THE HABIT - BY LINKIN PARK b/c its about death and depression and all taht and getting over it and thru it and surviving and breaking the habit of trying to die and end it all...well thats what i think it means...so thats my fav vid and 1 of my fav songs...see the video and i think u will understand more..but yea thats what i see it as...later