crying
kyle or hawk or trifon...or basically any guy im closed to that i talk to about anything..i need 1 of u guys either online or on the phone or whatever...i need u guys to help me get my life straight or just let me bawl on the phone and maybe u can help me find whats wrong with me...kyle i know u say im a strong person but im not that strong if i keep fucking up over and over....i love 1 person in this world in that 1 certain way....i really need to talk to some guy though that im close with about all this b/c i really dont want to mess up anymore..i dont care to meet anymore knew...i just want to keep the friends i have and b happy...b/c i think i might b sinking down into depression again...or depression emo...either way its bad...i need to figure out who i am and how to fix my life and attempt to make things right with me and a select few ppl....i have gotta fix so much and remember....MY WRIST IS COVERED IN BANDS THAT MEAN A LOT AND I MUST NOT FORGET WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME...ALSO I MUST NOT FORGET WHAT KYLE SAID TO ME IN MY BASEMENT THAT 1 NIGHT WHEN MOST PPL WERE CRYING B/C RYAN WAS LEAVING....for everything me and ryan have been thru i still consider him a friend and whats in the past is in the past and me and him i hope r still cool....i miss the good times me and him had and playing soccer and all...i guess i should try to get back into a sport or something....i also miss my dog a lot..sorry to throw that in there but i do she came to my mind and i always miss how she came to the door when i came home...i know this post is really random and all over the place...but i need to talk to someone so plz 1 of the guys i know that im close with and all call me or something...or maybe ill talk to my brother....i love all my friends and all the ppl that i wear a band for...and if i could i would get a tatoo to help me remember certain ppl...they would b on my arms most likely and i would treasure them forever....and maybe 1 on the back...but thats kind of random...i miss me being TECNO and other fucked up names i had and the good times in CAT and the times when i kinda knew my life and what i was doing and wasnt fucking up left and right and was laughing a lot...kyle i miss u a lot and i need to spill a lot to u...ill try to call u when i can....all i can say is that im fighting thru it all and trying to get on top again and gain control of my life again...i love u all