I Belong in Hell
I Belong In Hell
People lately have been worried about me. The way I have been and all.
Well this is to say, not to worry any longer.
I know I have not been myself, but no more.
People had assumed that my guiding light had been getting dim, but they were wrong.
In order for a light to grow dim, there must first be a light, for which I had none.
People have said that I have lost touch with who I am, and who I was.
But to lose touch with that, you must first know who you were.
However, I am digressing, from the point of this writing.
The point is, you will no longer have to worry about me, for I have accepted my fate.
Since God will not allow me the easy way out of this place called life, I must exist.
Which I suppose is for the best, when I truly think about it.
Because I know that for my inequalities of the past, I will be condemned to Hell.
That hot and fiery place of eternal pain and suffering.
And if God or anybody else does not see that, that is where I belong.
Upon my death, I hope the devil reaches up, snags me by the ankle and drags me down screaming.
So that I may dwell in eternity, down there in the fiery below where I belong.
Again, however, I am digressing.
I have found a way, to rid myself of this pain that I have been suffering.
The pain which strangers, friends, family and pills unfortunately could not relieve.
Though not the healthiest thing in the world, or the safest, it works.
Some people call it sadistic, others call it sick, while others still, call it wrong.
But plain and simple, it works for me, and it works well.
I sometimes, so deeply want to end it, with a long fall off of a tall building, but I cannot.
Previous attempts have shown me that no matter what I do, I am destined to exist.
I sometimes wonder if part of this is not to protect the Devil himself.
Maybe God will not deliver me from this earth, for fear that Hell would have a new ruler.
For my true nature is very dark, I see delight when others see gloom, and am evil.
I am sinister, lethargic, brutal, cynical and uncaring.
I sometimes, so deeply wish that I could be locked up.
Left alone to roam in a garden with others like me.
So doped up on prescriptions, that every day seems like a new life.
But God has also denied me this simple bliss.
So I ask this simple request, as my final statement unto this subject.
Do not miss me, for I am nothing worth missing.
Do not love me, for I am nothing worth loving.
Do not thank me, for I am nothing worth thanking.
Just let me drift, into what to me, will finally be a form of peace.
I have found a way, as strange as it may be, I know it works.
For the protection of others, nothing is changing my mind.
Do not think me a person that hates God or Christ, for I am not.
I love them both, and openly accept them as my heavenly family.
I do not blame God for not giving what I want, and giving me this life.
For my wrong doings of the past, shall forever sit on my shoulders.
And there is no better person to pay for them, then I.
I intend to do so as well. Nobody will accept the blame, except for me.
Not my friends, not my family, not the stranger on the street.
Nor God, Christ, or Satan themselves.
I committed these sins of old, and I shall pay for them.
Both on this earth, and in Hell, for eternity to come.
So please, let me dwell, where I have finally realized, that this is where I belong.
People lately have been worried about me. The way I have been and all.
Well this is to say, not to worry any longer.
I know I have not been myself, but no more.
People had assumed that my guiding light had been getting dim, but they were wrong.
In order for a light to grow dim, there must first be a light, for which I had none.
People have said that I have lost touch with who I am, and who I was.
But to lose touch with that, you must first know who you were.
However, I am digressing, from the point of this writing.
The point is, you will no longer have to worry about me, for I have accepted my fate.
Since God will not allow me the easy way out of this place called life, I must exist.
Which I suppose is for the best, when I truly think about it.
Because I know that for my inequalities of the past, I will be condemned to Hell.
That hot and fiery place of eternal pain and suffering.
And if God or anybody else does not see that, that is where I belong.
Upon my death, I hope the devil reaches up, snags me by the ankle and drags me down screaming.
So that I may dwell in eternity, down there in the fiery below where I belong.
Again, however, I am digressing.
I have found a way, to rid myself of this pain that I have been suffering.
The pain which strangers, friends, family and pills unfortunately could not relieve.
Though not the healthiest thing in the world, or the safest, it works.
Some people call it sadistic, others call it sick, while others still, call it wrong.
But plain and simple, it works for me, and it works well.
I sometimes, so deeply want to end it, with a long fall off of a tall building, but I cannot.
Previous attempts have shown me that no matter what I do, I am destined to exist.
I sometimes wonder if part of this is not to protect the Devil himself.
Maybe God will not deliver me from this earth, for fear that Hell would have a new ruler.
For my true nature is very dark, I see delight when others see gloom, and am evil.
I am sinister, lethargic, brutal, cynical and uncaring.
I sometimes, so deeply wish that I could be locked up.
Left alone to roam in a garden with others like me.
So doped up on prescriptions, that every day seems like a new life.
But God has also denied me this simple bliss.
So I ask this simple request, as my final statement unto this subject.
Do not miss me, for I am nothing worth missing.
Do not love me, for I am nothing worth loving.
Do not thank me, for I am nothing worth thanking.
Just let me drift, into what to me, will finally be a form of peace.
I have found a way, as strange as it may be, I know it works.
For the protection of others, nothing is changing my mind.
Do not think me a person that hates God or Christ, for I am not.
I love them both, and openly accept them as my heavenly family.
I do not blame God for not giving what I want, and giving me this life.
For my wrong doings of the past, shall forever sit on my shoulders.
And there is no better person to pay for them, then I.
I intend to do so as well. Nobody will accept the blame, except for me.
Not my friends, not my family, not the stranger on the street.
Nor God, Christ, or Satan themselves.
I committed these sins of old, and I shall pay for them.
Both on this earth, and in Hell, for eternity to come.
So please, let me dwell, where I have finally realized, that this is where I belong.