Carpe Diem - One
Title: Carpe Diem
Author: ira_luxuria
Pairing: Eventually Frank x Gerard; Mikey x Connor (OMC); Ray x Bob
Word Count: 2,344
Rating: G.
Summary: It’s been ten years since Gerard last saw Frank and he’s been trying to keep his slightly crumbling life together for his own sanity
Disclaimer: The characters in this story, though based on stage personas/media personalities, are entirely fictional. Any offence caused by their use or portrayal is wholly unintentional. Banner credit: iwantbeapirate and x_sunset_x.
Dedications: The girl faithfulriver26. The guy silencing_sam. The wife comeththegirl. Cheers loves.
Authors Note: I own my own words.
The first part can be found here: The New Boy
Authors note: I own my own words.
One
An older Gerard - ten years older by his last count - stared in disgust at his dishevelled appearance in a precinct bathroom mirror; his normally tidy hair was so out of place he looked like he’d just woken up although that could be because he has just woken up, his near jade eyes were dull, lifeless and bloodshot and he had bags developing; his suit - the same suit he has worn for the past two days - smelled like shit, the shirt was wrinkled and untucked on one side, his black tie hung too long on one side. If he had to pick a word to describe himself he’d pick hobo.
It was half past five on a Wednesday morning and he was splashing cold water on his face in a pathetic excuse at waking himself up, he’s been at work since Monday afternoon and had refused to go home unless the captain ordered it and seeing as he had been given no such order he was here trying to come up with some lead in a recent string of 426’s - that’s sexual assault to all you non-coppers - but so far he has come up with zilch. Giving up he returned to his desk, pulling the file towards him his sleepy eyes searching the same words he has read non-stop for the past two days - so much that he knows the file word for word - just knowing there is something more, the connecting link between the four cases.
By half past six half the precinct was in and dead on seven o’clock his partner waltzed through the door, his large red-brown Afro bobbing with the movement of his head. Gerard plastered a false smile on his face as the officers passed by him and gladly accepted the cup of coffee he was given, drinking it with a content sigh, with this boost he should make it through the morning at least. Ray flopped into the chair opposite Gerard’s and greeted him enthusiastically noting Gerard’s dishevelled appearance.
'When was the last time you slept in your own bed and not on your desk?' Ray asked and added with a smile when Gerard opened his mouth. 'Don’t lie either you have printer ink on your cheek and you actually have a five o’clock shadow.' Gerard smiled sarcastically at Ray. 'I brought you a change of clothes go shower before you begin to smell even worse.'
Gerard flipped him the bird but did as he was told, grabbing the bag of clothes before having a rushed shower and returning to his desk, his badge clipped to his belt and his shoulder holster on. There was a fresh cup of coffee on his desk and he smirked as he downed it all but shivering in pleasure at the caffeine goodness; taking a seat in his chair he perused the file on his desk yet again.
'Hey Gerard? You remember our first case together?' Gerard smiled at his partner and for the first time in the past six or so years it was a genuine smile, one that reached his near jade eyes causing them to glimmer with unexpressed emotion. Gerard had learned early on that you didn’t survive long in this career if you showed too much emotion other than the necessities towards the people you had sworn an oath to protect and with God as his witness he had sworn the very same oath that hundreds of brave men and women had done before him. His brother Mikey and his long-term partner otherwise known as Gerard’s brother-in-law, Connor, had been more than supportive of his choice in career and he was sure that had they been alive he would have made his parents proud; Frank also, had he still been around. At the thought of Frank the smile slipped from his face and the light in his eyes faded leaving his previously bright eyes dull and lifeless once more.
'Yeah Ray I remember. We had that 418B, the runaway who had escaped the confines of her over constricting family. It was a good case and we handled it exceptionally well for rookies.' For the past six going on seven years, he and Ray had been partners in the Las Vegas Special Victims Unit and he loved being able to help people who wanted and needed his help. The unspoken “sounds like someone else we knew” floats on the air and Gerard sighs.
'It’s okay Ray. I’m okay with it now.' Ray knows that Gerard is lying, he hadn’t been okay with Frank’s shock departure for ten years; they were specially trained in the art of detecting a liar, too bad that they weren’t taught to lie. A good lie would have saved his ass on many occasions but he was inept at lying to himself.
'You still love him, don’t you?' Ray asks softly not afraid of the precinct knowing that Gerard liked men they knew anyway but he was more afraid of Gerard cracking up completely.
'Ray can we please not talk about this now?” Gerard watches Ray nod before he glances around their ‘office’ that they shared with some of the other officers. The walls around them are filed with maps with multi-coloured pins stuck in them and the odd diploma from their captain, a few other officers were working non-stop, picking up their phones and contacting leads in their cases - a fact that he wished he could do - a few were congregating over by the Missing Persons board discussing where next to look. Gerard had been sorely tempted to tack Frank’s photo to that board but Ray had assured him that Frank wasn’t missing and that he was probably living in his old house across the lake from their old school back in Jersey but a few of Gerard’s friends from the Jersey Police Force had had a 419 in the old house and he’d made them check and double-check that it wasn’t Frank. A phone rang distantly and he vaguely recognized Ray’s voice as he answered.
He is jolted uncomfortably out of his thoughts by Ray’s large hand clapping him on the shoulder. 'Come on Gerard. We got us a 425.'
Gerard nodded and he fished in his top drawer extracting his handcuffs and gun - which thankfully he hadn’t had to fire in the time he has been a ‘law enforcer’ - holstered it in his shoulder holster and strolled to a desk, smacking his hand down on the wood startling the dozing officer into action.
'Come on Bob.' Gerard walked off following Ray’s bobbing ‘fro through the precinct towards his black Cadillac. Ray was already in the drivers seat by the time he reached his car signalling Bob to follow in his patrol car - just in case. Jumping in, he refrains from making any comments such as “You’re fucking lucky I’m letting you drive my car” and the like. In what seemed like seconds but was really minutes they arrived at the edge of The Strip; he stepped out of his car and into a ring of uniformed officers, he flashed them his badge and ducked under the yellow crime scene tape, the early morning light giving him a headache. His tired eyes follow the direction that a uniformed officer pointed in, there curled in the corner was a body between a grilled strip joint and a chicken shop - female if he judged by the below shoulder-length brown hair.
'How is this suspicious circs? The chick just looks asleep.' Gerard shook his head at Ray’s slightly insensitive tone.
'We wouldn’t have been called if it wasn’t something for us Toro.' He addressed an officer. 'What’s the problem?'
'She refuses to let anyone near her sir. Keeps repeating ‘dirty’ from what we can gather.' The officer replied reading off his notebook. Gerard nodded.
'Let me talk to her,' and before they could refuse he was off walking slowly towards the girl in the corner, he unholstered his gun and passed it to a waiting officer as he walked who with one look from him shuffled off to give it to Ray. Reaching the corner he got to his knees pushing aside the mental images he mistakenly conjured and ignoring the sort of filth that would begin attacking him with a shudder. Man, he hated Vegas. Slowly he began creeping toward her on his knees, a small non-threatening smile on his lips.
'Hi there. I’m Detective Way but you can call me Gerard if you like. I’m from the Special Victims Unit and I’m here to help you I promise.' He told her softly, her quiet cries of ‘dirty’ drilling into his brain only it wasn’t her voice it was his own, his voice at fourteen years. 'Hey hey it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.' He reassured her as she tried to move further away from him, pressing herself into the corner with false hopes that she could sink straight through the brick.
He changed his tactics and extracted his wallet from the pocket of his jacket, flipping through the photos he keeps with him at all times for his own comfort and situations such as these; smiling sadly at one that his friends had taken of him and Frank kissing sweetly without the knowledge of either boy before everything had gone to pot. He passed the photo to the teary eyed girl and watched as she traced the moment caught forever in time with bloody fingertips.
'That’s me and an old boyfriend. His name is Frank,' as he spoke he moved closer to her but kept his distance. 'I loved him very much' and silently he added ‘still do’. 'I won’t hurt you. It’s impossible for me to do that.' As he shifted to sit beside her, he was momentarily shocked and thrown off balance when she launched herself at him; a pair of torn red panties fell with a soft thud into his lap.
'Ah shit,' he exclaimed softly, one large hand smoothing her hair from her forehead. 'I’m going to get you some help.' Gerard nodded with a soft sigh then opened his mouth.
'Get the EMTs over here! We got another 426!' He shouted and watched with narrowed eyes as the surrounding people sprung into action, two of the EMT’s - two he’s seen before - ran towards them with a gurney and plenty of evidence bags; he helped the girl who could be no older than seventeen or eighteen up from the ground supporting her as she stumbled and gently passed her to the paramedics who treated her as best as possible before they could get her to the hospital and treated her as if she was broken and in more than one way she was. Much like him. He walked alongside the gurney giving her encouraging smiles though he knew that no matter what he or anybody else told her she’d never be the same again.
Gerard pulled one of the EMTs to the side, his grip bruising as he held the mans bicep. 'I want every inch checked or foreign DNA, rape kit, tox screen, the works and all of her clothes sent to the lab for analysis. Do it as fast as you can.' The EMT nodded and Gerard pried his fingers from the man’s arm with an apologetic grin and walked back toward Ray who held his gun out butt first and he was tempted not to take it back - he did, holstering it. Ray looked at him in sympathy crossed with awe as he replaced the photo back where it belonged, amazed when he didn’t linger on the image.
Gerard was numb, there was nothing inside him just organs that he felt were barely functioning, it was the feeling Gerard got when he was ready to put the gun that was so neatly tucked beneath his arm in his mouth either that or he broke the padlock from the alcohol cupboard. Whichever way he was refusing to do it. Ray followed him closely, wary of his partners footsteps and his every move.
'That is our fifth sexual assault in the last month, there is no way this is coincidental. They are left in the exact same state. This is evil but why doesn’t he just kill them or does he want to fuck them up completely?' Gerard’s voice was hollow, Ray understood what Gerard was reliving right at this moment and he went to say something but Gerard cut him off.
'Don’t Ray. Just don’t.'
Ray nodded. 'The captain called while you were with the girl. He said go home, get some sleep and take the night off. Although because I know you I had a copy of the file sent to your house. Come out with us tonight, take a load off, find a piece of tail we all know you deserve it.'
'I’ll think about it,' Gerard laughed awkwardly shaking his head as he got in his car, started the engine and drove home blankly trying to empty his head of all thoughts except the case. It worked briefly until he reached his apartment; the inside reminded him of Frank even though Frank had never been there let alone knew that he lived in Vegas because the bastard never came back. Sighing he got out and locked his car before heading inside. The white walls glared at him when he flicked the lights on, he dropped his keys and badge on the table by the door and stepping into his room, stripping down to his boxers, his gun hanging from his head board.
‘Old habits die hard.’ is the last thought he thinks of as his head hits the pillow. His dreams are typically filled of Frank and he just wants him out of his head at any cost; he has lost count of how many times he has taken his own gun to his head just so they would go but each time he chickened out now he had a reason to live and he would not let some ancient history turn him back into the victim.
Thanks for reading. It’s good to be back. Usual apply. Special dedication to silencing_sam for our random conversations about my penis envy and sex change. XD And to faithfulriver26 for the plot.
Author: ira_luxuria
Pairing: Eventually Frank x Gerard; Mikey x Connor (OMC); Ray x Bob
Word Count: 2,344
Rating: G.
Summary: It’s been ten years since Gerard last saw Frank and he’s been trying to keep his slightly crumbling life together for his own sanity
Disclaimer: The characters in this story, though based on stage personas/media personalities, are entirely fictional. Any offence caused by their use or portrayal is wholly unintentional. Banner credit: iwantbeapirate and x_sunset_x.
Dedications: The girl faithfulriver26. The guy silencing_sam. The wife comeththegirl. Cheers loves.
Authors Note: I own my own words.
The first part can be found here: The New Boy
Authors note: I own my own words.
One
An older Gerard - ten years older by his last count - stared in disgust at his dishevelled appearance in a precinct bathroom mirror; his normally tidy hair was so out of place he looked like he’d just woken up although that could be because he has just woken up, his near jade eyes were dull, lifeless and bloodshot and he had bags developing; his suit - the same suit he has worn for the past two days - smelled like shit, the shirt was wrinkled and untucked on one side, his black tie hung too long on one side. If he had to pick a word to describe himself he’d pick hobo.
It was half past five on a Wednesday morning and he was splashing cold water on his face in a pathetic excuse at waking himself up, he’s been at work since Monday afternoon and had refused to go home unless the captain ordered it and seeing as he had been given no such order he was here trying to come up with some lead in a recent string of 426’s - that’s sexual assault to all you non-coppers - but so far he has come up with zilch. Giving up he returned to his desk, pulling the file towards him his sleepy eyes searching the same words he has read non-stop for the past two days - so much that he knows the file word for word - just knowing there is something more, the connecting link between the four cases.
By half past six half the precinct was in and dead on seven o’clock his partner waltzed through the door, his large red-brown Afro bobbing with the movement of his head. Gerard plastered a false smile on his face as the officers passed by him and gladly accepted the cup of coffee he was given, drinking it with a content sigh, with this boost he should make it through the morning at least. Ray flopped into the chair opposite Gerard’s and greeted him enthusiastically noting Gerard’s dishevelled appearance.
'When was the last time you slept in your own bed and not on your desk?' Ray asked and added with a smile when Gerard opened his mouth. 'Don’t lie either you have printer ink on your cheek and you actually have a five o’clock shadow.' Gerard smiled sarcastically at Ray. 'I brought you a change of clothes go shower before you begin to smell even worse.'
Gerard flipped him the bird but did as he was told, grabbing the bag of clothes before having a rushed shower and returning to his desk, his badge clipped to his belt and his shoulder holster on. There was a fresh cup of coffee on his desk and he smirked as he downed it all but shivering in pleasure at the caffeine goodness; taking a seat in his chair he perused the file on his desk yet again.
'Hey Gerard? You remember our first case together?' Gerard smiled at his partner and for the first time in the past six or so years it was a genuine smile, one that reached his near jade eyes causing them to glimmer with unexpressed emotion. Gerard had learned early on that you didn’t survive long in this career if you showed too much emotion other than the necessities towards the people you had sworn an oath to protect and with God as his witness he had sworn the very same oath that hundreds of brave men and women had done before him. His brother Mikey and his long-term partner otherwise known as Gerard’s brother-in-law, Connor, had been more than supportive of his choice in career and he was sure that had they been alive he would have made his parents proud; Frank also, had he still been around. At the thought of Frank the smile slipped from his face and the light in his eyes faded leaving his previously bright eyes dull and lifeless once more.
'Yeah Ray I remember. We had that 418B, the runaway who had escaped the confines of her over constricting family. It was a good case and we handled it exceptionally well for rookies.' For the past six going on seven years, he and Ray had been partners in the Las Vegas Special Victims Unit and he loved being able to help people who wanted and needed his help. The unspoken “sounds like someone else we knew” floats on the air and Gerard sighs.
'It’s okay Ray. I’m okay with it now.' Ray knows that Gerard is lying, he hadn’t been okay with Frank’s shock departure for ten years; they were specially trained in the art of detecting a liar, too bad that they weren’t taught to lie. A good lie would have saved his ass on many occasions but he was inept at lying to himself.
'You still love him, don’t you?' Ray asks softly not afraid of the precinct knowing that Gerard liked men they knew anyway but he was more afraid of Gerard cracking up completely.
'Ray can we please not talk about this now?” Gerard watches Ray nod before he glances around their ‘office’ that they shared with some of the other officers. The walls around them are filed with maps with multi-coloured pins stuck in them and the odd diploma from their captain, a few other officers were working non-stop, picking up their phones and contacting leads in their cases - a fact that he wished he could do - a few were congregating over by the Missing Persons board discussing where next to look. Gerard had been sorely tempted to tack Frank’s photo to that board but Ray had assured him that Frank wasn’t missing and that he was probably living in his old house across the lake from their old school back in Jersey but a few of Gerard’s friends from the Jersey Police Force had had a 419 in the old house and he’d made them check and double-check that it wasn’t Frank. A phone rang distantly and he vaguely recognized Ray’s voice as he answered.
He is jolted uncomfortably out of his thoughts by Ray’s large hand clapping him on the shoulder. 'Come on Gerard. We got us a 425.'
Gerard nodded and he fished in his top drawer extracting his handcuffs and gun - which thankfully he hadn’t had to fire in the time he has been a ‘law enforcer’ - holstered it in his shoulder holster and strolled to a desk, smacking his hand down on the wood startling the dozing officer into action.
'Come on Bob.' Gerard walked off following Ray’s bobbing ‘fro through the precinct towards his black Cadillac. Ray was already in the drivers seat by the time he reached his car signalling Bob to follow in his patrol car - just in case. Jumping in, he refrains from making any comments such as “You’re fucking lucky I’m letting you drive my car” and the like. In what seemed like seconds but was really minutes they arrived at the edge of The Strip; he stepped out of his car and into a ring of uniformed officers, he flashed them his badge and ducked under the yellow crime scene tape, the early morning light giving him a headache. His tired eyes follow the direction that a uniformed officer pointed in, there curled in the corner was a body between a grilled strip joint and a chicken shop - female if he judged by the below shoulder-length brown hair.
'How is this suspicious circs? The chick just looks asleep.' Gerard shook his head at Ray’s slightly insensitive tone.
'We wouldn’t have been called if it wasn’t something for us Toro.' He addressed an officer. 'What’s the problem?'
'She refuses to let anyone near her sir. Keeps repeating ‘dirty’ from what we can gather.' The officer replied reading off his notebook. Gerard nodded.
'Let me talk to her,' and before they could refuse he was off walking slowly towards the girl in the corner, he unholstered his gun and passed it to a waiting officer as he walked who with one look from him shuffled off to give it to Ray. Reaching the corner he got to his knees pushing aside the mental images he mistakenly conjured and ignoring the sort of filth that would begin attacking him with a shudder. Man, he hated Vegas. Slowly he began creeping toward her on his knees, a small non-threatening smile on his lips.
'Hi there. I’m Detective Way but you can call me Gerard if you like. I’m from the Special Victims Unit and I’m here to help you I promise.' He told her softly, her quiet cries of ‘dirty’ drilling into his brain only it wasn’t her voice it was his own, his voice at fourteen years. 'Hey hey it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.' He reassured her as she tried to move further away from him, pressing herself into the corner with false hopes that she could sink straight through the brick.
He changed his tactics and extracted his wallet from the pocket of his jacket, flipping through the photos he keeps with him at all times for his own comfort and situations such as these; smiling sadly at one that his friends had taken of him and Frank kissing sweetly without the knowledge of either boy before everything had gone to pot. He passed the photo to the teary eyed girl and watched as she traced the moment caught forever in time with bloody fingertips.
'That’s me and an old boyfriend. His name is Frank,' as he spoke he moved closer to her but kept his distance. 'I loved him very much' and silently he added ‘still do’. 'I won’t hurt you. It’s impossible for me to do that.' As he shifted to sit beside her, he was momentarily shocked and thrown off balance when she launched herself at him; a pair of torn red panties fell with a soft thud into his lap.
'Ah shit,' he exclaimed softly, one large hand smoothing her hair from her forehead. 'I’m going to get you some help.' Gerard nodded with a soft sigh then opened his mouth.
'Get the EMTs over here! We got another 426!' He shouted and watched with narrowed eyes as the surrounding people sprung into action, two of the EMT’s - two he’s seen before - ran towards them with a gurney and plenty of evidence bags; he helped the girl who could be no older than seventeen or eighteen up from the ground supporting her as she stumbled and gently passed her to the paramedics who treated her as best as possible before they could get her to the hospital and treated her as if she was broken and in more than one way she was. Much like him. He walked alongside the gurney giving her encouraging smiles though he knew that no matter what he or anybody else told her she’d never be the same again.
Gerard pulled one of the EMTs to the side, his grip bruising as he held the mans bicep. 'I want every inch checked or foreign DNA, rape kit, tox screen, the works and all of her clothes sent to the lab for analysis. Do it as fast as you can.' The EMT nodded and Gerard pried his fingers from the man’s arm with an apologetic grin and walked back toward Ray who held his gun out butt first and he was tempted not to take it back - he did, holstering it. Ray looked at him in sympathy crossed with awe as he replaced the photo back where it belonged, amazed when he didn’t linger on the image.
Gerard was numb, there was nothing inside him just organs that he felt were barely functioning, it was the feeling Gerard got when he was ready to put the gun that was so neatly tucked beneath his arm in his mouth either that or he broke the padlock from the alcohol cupboard. Whichever way he was refusing to do it. Ray followed him closely, wary of his partners footsteps and his every move.
'That is our fifth sexual assault in the last month, there is no way this is coincidental. They are left in the exact same state. This is evil but why doesn’t he just kill them or does he want to fuck them up completely?' Gerard’s voice was hollow, Ray understood what Gerard was reliving right at this moment and he went to say something but Gerard cut him off.
'Don’t Ray. Just don’t.'
Ray nodded. 'The captain called while you were with the girl. He said go home, get some sleep and take the night off. Although because I know you I had a copy of the file sent to your house. Come out with us tonight, take a load off, find a piece of tail we all know you deserve it.'
'I’ll think about it,' Gerard laughed awkwardly shaking his head as he got in his car, started the engine and drove home blankly trying to empty his head of all thoughts except the case. It worked briefly until he reached his apartment; the inside reminded him of Frank even though Frank had never been there let alone knew that he lived in Vegas because the bastard never came back. Sighing he got out and locked his car before heading inside. The white walls glared at him when he flicked the lights on, he dropped his keys and badge on the table by the door and stepping into his room, stripping down to his boxers, his gun hanging from his head board.
‘Old habits die hard.’ is the last thought he thinks of as his head hits the pillow. His dreams are typically filled of Frank and he just wants him out of his head at any cost; he has lost count of how many times he has taken his own gun to his head just so they would go but each time he chickened out now he had a reason to live and he would not let some ancient history turn him back into the victim.
Thanks for reading. It’s good to be back. Usual apply. Special dedication to silencing_sam for our random conversations about my penis envy and sex change. XD And to faithfulriver26 for the plot.