for stream, for cloud, for star
"...Watch the dim shades as like ghosts they go and come,
And complicate strange webs of melancholy mirth."
--"Remorse", Percy Bysshe Shelley
"I went to the summit and stood in the high nakedness:
the wind tore about this
way and that in confusion and its speech could not
get through to me nor could I address it:
still I said as if to the alien in myself
I do not speak to the wind now:
for having been brought this far by nature I have been
brought out of nature
and nothing here shows me the image of myself"
--"For Harold Bloom", A. R. Ammons
I have all too much to say, and never enough company to say it. I have resolved to go to SUNY New Paltz and apply for the honors program, though Queens College Honors is still available to me. I am newly intrigued by studying film, yoga, and art. My father has confided in me his ideal family when the divorce is finalized and we are finally on our own. I am very excited for college. I am terrified of being smothered by the summer. I keep taking books out of the library but return them almost completely unread.
School is my ruination. It impairs my focus and will be the second-to-last mental block I eliminate. When it ends, I will do everything my body permits to get myself off these goddamn medications. Then I can be the image of myself.
I am moved by nowhere and nothing but myself, I am heartless and I am outgoing, I am distant and I am everywhere.
If I don't write soon it could kill me.
And complicate strange webs of melancholy mirth."
--"Remorse", Percy Bysshe Shelley
"I went to the summit and stood in the high nakedness:
the wind tore about this
way and that in confusion and its speech could not
get through to me nor could I address it:
still I said as if to the alien in myself
I do not speak to the wind now:
for having been brought this far by nature I have been
brought out of nature
and nothing here shows me the image of myself"
--"For Harold Bloom", A. R. Ammons
I have all too much to say, and never enough company to say it. I have resolved to go to SUNY New Paltz and apply for the honors program, though Queens College Honors is still available to me. I am newly intrigued by studying film, yoga, and art. My father has confided in me his ideal family when the divorce is finalized and we are finally on our own. I am very excited for college. I am terrified of being smothered by the summer. I keep taking books out of the library but return them almost completely unread.
School is my ruination. It impairs my focus and will be the second-to-last mental block I eliminate. When it ends, I will do everything my body permits to get myself off these goddamn medications. Then I can be the image of myself.
I am moved by nowhere and nothing but myself, I am heartless and I am outgoing, I am distant and I am everywhere.
If I don't write soon it could kill me.