질투 (JEALOUSY) - CHAPTER 4
질투 (Jealousy)
pairing: Woogyu (Woo Hyeon/ Seong Gyu)
rating: NC-17
summary: Woo Hyeon unravels bit by bit into something hideous, something repulsive. He's never been more conscious of himself or, rather, what Seong Gyu may or may not be doing behind his back. He has always been the one to play the cards. Now that Seong Gyu is the dealer, there is no telling what is in store for Woo Hyeon.
A/N : endlessly grateful to chateaucartoon who did much more than beta-read for me and for this story <3
A/N 2 : I am sorry if the romanization of their names disturbs you, but I get so worked up when people don't know how to read their names right T.T The transcription I use is much closer to their real names than what is commonly in use. Forgive me for that, please, it's professional deformation XD
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
It took another week of self-persuasion, secretly reading Gyu's messages and e-mails, before I finally gave in. I was officially insane, but I kept telling myself that I couldn‘t be. Someone who’s insane wouldn’t be sane enough to realize that he or she were indeed insane, right? Anyway, it was time to go to Laser and hear, once and for all, the intentions of the third party involved. Why was he here, and what did he come for? I had to see with my own eyes how much of a thread he was.
I called Yeol and Mirae, making some stupid excuse for why we had to go to Laser. Don't ask me what the excuse was. My mind was so set on going that I forgot the moment my friends agreed to go.
“Where are you going?” Seong Gyu frowned when he came home only to find me dressed up, smelling of cologne.
“Night out with friends,” I said. I felt a certain animosity in the tone of my voice. I knew it was wrong, but it kept happening. I just ran my mouth, and my brain just couldn’t keep up with the emotional battle going on inside me.
And he noticed the change. He was absolutely aware of how our relationship and life together had changed. If nothing else, the fact that we haven’t had sex for the past two months must indicate something has gone wrong. I easily saw how his jaw tensed up that night, how he tried hard not to stir up a fight.
“Tonight? Do you really have to go TONIGHT?” I turned around and bit my lower lip. Guilt washed over me when I saw a bottle of my favorite red wine peeking out from his briefcase. He had signed his contract today and purposely came home early to celebrate, lovey-dovey and all.
I closed my eyes and fisted the insides of my pockets. I made two quick steps towards my lover to give him a quick peck on cheek.
“Sorry, hon. Yeol needs some fresh air tonight. Maternity is killing him, I mean...you know what I mean,” I stuttered. I am not completely sure whether or not Gyu ever believed this excuse. Why would he? I was a stuttering klutz.
Seong Gyu clenched his jaw again. He looked petrifying.
I turned around to quickly make my leave because of how awkward it was getting. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew that I was lying...
When I held the doorknob, I heard him ask weakly, “Did you meet someone else, Nam Woo Hyeon? Or is this all breaking down for no particular reason?”
I turned around to look at him, eyes big and brows raised. How could he possibly think that I was...
“You are almost never home either. And when I do get home, you’re already sleeping-”
I pretend to sleep to check your calls and texts when you go shower.
“-if I wake you up to cuddle or even have sex, you groan saying that you are not in the mood. YOU Hyeon, of all people, said that you weren’t in the mood.”
Yeah Gyu, but it was only because I found out that you had lunch with HIM, that you had a 20-minute call with him, that you had done something WITH HIM...
“When I call you during the day, you sometimes don't pick up. There were even days where you didn’t even bother to return my calls. Forgive me if I am jumping to conclusions here, but you come off...unfaithful.”
I am not with someone else, Gyu. I am working hard in my dance classes to stop myself from worrying too much, but talking to you makes me sour all over again. I don’t want my day to be ruined….
Horrible. I realized how ugly I treated my own lover. In an irrational fear of losing him, I dealt with my emotions in an ugly way and completely forgot about my boyfriend. I didn’t realize that I had distanced myself from him. I was too occupied with dealing with myself that...
“Seong Gyu...,” I sighed, holding his elbow tight to make my point clear, “I would never EVER cheat on you. I am sorry that I made you feel this way. That's just...horrible. I had no idea.” I felt my eyes getting dangerously wet. He just gave me this “please I'm begging you, tell me what's happening” look. But I couldn't.
I can't tell you. It's way too embarrassing.
Luckily for me, my phone started ringing.
“It's Yeol. He’s in a taxi. I... have to go.” I looked at him apologetically. “I am sorry,” I say meaningfully, which probably made him feel miserable. “I am sorry,” the irrational and stupid me repeated.
Gyu just stood there in the hallway with his coat still on and bottle of wine in hand. I could see tears that were threatening to fall, to well out of his beautiful, beautiful eyes.
I greeted Seong Yeol even though my head was a mess. All I could think about was speaking to Kim Seong Jong, to see him with my own eyes.
“Mirae texted me a few minutes ago that she is already inside,” my best friend informed me.
“Hm. Good.” I saw Yeol examining my face. He didn't say anything until we actually got into the club.
“We are not here to dance…”
Yeol started complaining, but I didn't have time to listen to him. I set off towards the last few chairs that were free in the bar. I took a seat and called the closest barman. He turned around and I saw that it was Myeong Soo.
“Hey! Woo Hyeon-ah!” He offered me a high-five, but I was not in the mood. I only smiled nervously.
Myungsoo cleared his throat and retreated.
“Are you alone or...”
Seong Yeol finally caught up and landed at the free chair next to mine.
“Woo Hyun, you sick bastard, I finally understand!”
“Yeol-ie. Good to know, my shift is almost over,” Myeong Soo said, giving Yeol a meaningful eye.
“I can see you, Myeong Soo. I am fine. Now goodnight to you.” I scolded them for behaving as if I weren’t there.
“Fuck you,” Myeong Soo grimace, going back to serve his customers. I could see that he wasn't able to really comprehend what was really going on. Awesome. Another one of my friends who will probably hate me after tonight... For a second there, I felt guilty. Myeong Soo had no idea what was happening... he probably didn't even know who he was working with. I made a mental note to call him tomorrow to-
“Hey Jong-ie!” Myeong Soo called. He called that name with such adoration that it felt as if time had stopped.
I saw the bright smile and those plump pink lips that framed a set of bright and shiny teeth. Seong Jong received a kiss on the cheek from my (as far as I remember) straight friend Myeong Soo. It appeared as though the younger was blushing. At least, it looked like he was blushing....he blushed behaviorally...does that even make sense? He was a poser.
His hair was short now-straight, short, and black. He doesn’t look that girly anymore. His smile, his eyes, the way he smacked Myungsoo's shoulders playfully…those nuances. He was definitely different. Awesome. My brain was serving him in slow motion to me. There was no way I could have ignored his perfections.
Loud music blasting in the background, I wasn’t able to fully make out what he was saying and whispering to Myeong Soo. And then I felt a pinch on my arm.
“YAOUCH!” I yelped, patting my abused arm. Seong Yeol gestured that I was staring. Goodness...I knew I brought him here for a reason. I cleared my throat and turned back to where the two barmen were. There was only Seong Jong now. The boy was adjusting a black apron around his ridiculously thin waist.
“He doesn't look like chick,” Sung Yeol whispered, “I knew you were overreacting.”
I nodded, but I didn't really give a shit. I raised my hand to call Seong Jong, who gestured that he would be over in just a second. My heart started beating when he flashed his Hollywood smile at me. His voice sounded high when he asked what drink what I wanted.
For several hours, Sung Yeol and I just kept watch of him as we ordered more drinks. It was the fifth tequila when Yeol finally smacked my head and said, “Is this why you dragged me here? To watch him for hours while you get wasted?”
“No. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how!” I complained bitterly.
Seong Yeol looked around the club and sighed.
“Mirae is making out with someone. Ah. Lucky girl,” Yeol sounded equally bitter. I didn't react because I could care less about another one of Mirae's one night stands.
“Seriously, Woo Hyeon-ah. Why did we even get married in the first place?” he asked drunkenly.
I snorted.
“You are the only one married here, idiot. Not that I would mind being wedded to Gyu, you know? At least, it would be the smallest assurance that he was...mine.” I played with the wedding ring on Seong Yeol's left hand for a while beforeI heard a voice from the opposite side of the bar.
“Nice ring.” Seong Jong flashed his beautiful smile at my friend and leaned over the counter to examine it closely.
“Newly wed?” Seong Jong asked. I encouraged Yeol to carry on with the random conversation. It was what I came for after all!
“N-not really. It's been a while,” Seong Yeol stuttered.
“Oh really?! You seem to be so young, you and your friend.” He looked at me, and to my horrid surprise, he winked.
“You seem younger. No wife?” Yeol continued.
Seong Jong just laughed and waved his hand.
“Oh come on, I know everything on me shouts 'gay'. You don't have to be careful. I am just fine with being one.”
My breath hitched for a second.
“I see. Sorry. So I guess you have boyfriend, right? Is he ok with you having long night shifts in a night club?” I asked, trying my luck with a bolder question.
He studied my face for a while. I panicked slightly. Oh fuck, he just recognized me! I never thought about it before, but what if Seong Gyu actually showed him some pictures of us and....
“I don't have a boyfriend at present.” He just smiled with another wink. What the hell? I was told that I never came across as gay to people who don’t know me.
Seong Jong went off to serve other customers for a while.
“He is so cute. I want to fold him in my pocket and take him home with me,” Yeol sighed. I smacked his head hard.
“Yah! You are my best friend! You are supposed to be on my side, not adoring the enemy!”
“Seriously, how can you call this little boy your enemy?” Seong Yeol rubbed his head and pouted.
“Shut up, your wife is not the one hanging out with him as her ex. I don't need you to understand what’s going on with me. I just want your support, ok?”
Seong Yeol continued to pout, and I realized that he was probably drunk beyond comprehension. I just pushed my drink in front of him, and he gratefully downed it with a spark in his innocent eyes.
Two hours later
The bar was almost empty as most of the people had moved onto the dance floor. Seong Yeol was sleeping on the counter, and I was playing with yet another glass of Cuba Libre.
“Is your friend ok?” Seong Jong asked, drying some freshly cleaned glasses.
“He's just...tired.”
“Then why did he come to the club?” Seong Jong tilted his head and tried to think of a reason why two fellows, one deadly tired and the other hardly in the mood to socialize, came to dance club.
“I asked him to come with me. I needed to get out of the house.”
“Oh, is that so? What happened? Girlfriend problems?” The young boy leaned against the counter again.
“Boyfriend.” I gave him a meaningful look.
Seong Jong seemed surprised, and I was glad that I wasn’t so obviously gay. That, however, makes me his polar opposite. This was yet another thought that bothered me.
“He's meeting his ex a lot lately. He insists that it's only friend-wise, but it makes me all fidgety.” I swore I had just shot an arrow straight through Seong Jong's puppy eyes.
He just shrugged and grabbed another glass that needed to be dried.
“That means nothing, really. I don't think you should let this bother you. You see, I’ve been meeting up with my ex, too. Honestly, there were no motives behind it. On the other hand,” he says, leaning on his elbows to look over my head, “I caught myself regretting ever breaking up with him.”
From his tone, I knew that he was mostly just talking to himself aloud. Fucking airhead...
My hand on the tequila shot tightened after hearing this. You regret, hn? You want him back, right?!
“See? That's it. What if his ex wants him back?”
The younger boy, as if awaken from a dream, shook his head.
“Naaah, you should give your boyfriend more credit. You should trust him, you know? If he cheats then he's not worth sticking with,” he said matter-of-factly, returning to the glass.
It downed on me finally. Did the guy just say that he broke up with Gyu? Well, nice! Gyu said they broke up after mutual agreement. Yeah, trusting my boyfriend sounded easier and easier....
“Everything is just a memory now. You can miss someone because of your memories, but that doesn't mean you can see him as your boyfriend ever again. I remember all the fluffy times we had, arguing about the style of our room...” He fell quiet, just shaking his thoughts off. “I am here to listen, not to talk. I got carried away. I am sorry-” He obviously wanted to address me, but he didn't know my name. Fuck, I could bet you that I wasn’t going to tell him.
YOUR DORM ROOM?! As far as I was concerned, Seong Gyu lived in his dorm room alone with Dongwoo and Hoya, his roommates.
“Heeeeeeeey~~~” I saw a very sweaty and disheveled Mirae leaning over the bar a few seats from me. I was just about to shout 'get the fuck out of here' because I was finally getting what I wanted.
“Are you Seong Jong? I am here for two shots of Sex on the beach, and...if you are Jong, I am supposed to say it's for Hoya.” She grinned, lipstick smeared. I shifted a little to the side, trying to hide my face. HOYA?! WHAT THE HELL IS HOYA DOING HERE MAKING OUT WITH MY...EX! If he saw me talking to Seong Jong, it would be the end of my plans!
“Jerk. He's such a freeloader,” Seong Jong complained bitterly, handing Mirae the drinks.
I cleared my throat the second Mirae left, fumbling for my wallet in my pocket.
“Ah..are you leaving?” Seong Jong looked at me almost sorry.
“Yeah, I... think it's time to go.”
“I am so sorry I got so personal/. I am new to this job and I think I don't quite yet-”
“It's not your fault. How much?” I cut him off before he gave me another reason why he should be adored and not hated.
He looked taken aback by my tone. He surely knew something changed and..well, I felt a little sorry. But I wasn’t fucking sure who to blame for everything anymore. I paid the bill and woke Yeol up. He mumbled something incoherent, but, thank god, he was easy to wake up. I appreciated that he wasn't drunk to the level where I would have had to fetch him home.
As a result, it was me who hopped out of the taxi first. I stood in front of the apartment and just stared at our window for a while. I put my hands into the pockets of my coat and just...stared.
Seong Gyu. I love you.
I felt the chill of the night, so I just quickly set off towards my flat, eyes dropping sadly to the sidewalk.
I opened the door and found Seong Gyu fast asleep on the couch. My chest couldn't have felt heavier.
I took a few steps towards the couch and realized that... he was sleeping with his sheets. Great. Are we sleeping separately now?
I knelt down, laying my head on the armrest, to watch his peaceful face.
“Why are you lying to me?” I whispered, tenderly reaching out to brush his fringe aside. “Why do you cling to him so much, Gyu.” I gave his forehead a soft kiss. I took a closer look and saw that he had developed a few deep wrinkles here and there. I knew that it was mostly from his job. How could I have been so blind to ignore his troubled face, his frowns, his insecurities?
“Good night,” I finished, brushing my lips over his tenderly before ascending the stairs to our room. My room? I don't even know anymore.
His side of the bed looked empty. I took the paper that was lying where his pillow was and read the message. He wanted to have a talk with me tomorrow. Good. I will tell him everything, even the dirty secrets and doubts that my sick mind had made up for the past 3 months.
“Ahhh fuck, I love you so much,” I sighed tiredly.
A/N: Hey people, so... I know this chapter is lacking a lot in both story telling and feeling, but I seriously needed to get over this secne. I was stuck on it for so long ~~ So please forgive me ^^ Next chapter,on the other hand, I can promise to make it oh....so worth it ^^ Maybe it'll even be the final chapter. Not sure about that yet ~ Comments are love <3 Thanks to all of you that commented, makes me so hyped everytime XD THANKS THANKS THANKS! And everyone, you probably noticed how my comments sucks, so if you leave a nice word to my sweet beta-reader, who not only checks the grammar but makes the story "sound" English as well, I'll love you twice more ^^
pairing: Woogyu (Woo Hyeon/ Seong Gyu)
rating: NC-17
summary: Woo Hyeon unravels bit by bit into something hideous, something repulsive. He's never been more conscious of himself or, rather, what Seong Gyu may or may not be doing behind his back. He has always been the one to play the cards. Now that Seong Gyu is the dealer, there is no telling what is in store for Woo Hyeon.
A/N : endlessly grateful to chateaucartoon who did much more than beta-read for me and for this story <3
A/N 2 : I am sorry if the romanization of their names disturbs you, but I get so worked up when people don't know how to read their names right T.T The transcription I use is much closer to their real names than what is commonly in use. Forgive me for that, please, it's professional deformation XD
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
It took another week of self-persuasion, secretly reading Gyu's messages and e-mails, before I finally gave in. I was officially insane, but I kept telling myself that I couldn‘t be. Someone who’s insane wouldn’t be sane enough to realize that he or she were indeed insane, right? Anyway, it was time to go to Laser and hear, once and for all, the intentions of the third party involved. Why was he here, and what did he come for? I had to see with my own eyes how much of a thread he was.
I called Yeol and Mirae, making some stupid excuse for why we had to go to Laser. Don't ask me what the excuse was. My mind was so set on going that I forgot the moment my friends agreed to go.
“Where are you going?” Seong Gyu frowned when he came home only to find me dressed up, smelling of cologne.
“Night out with friends,” I said. I felt a certain animosity in the tone of my voice. I knew it was wrong, but it kept happening. I just ran my mouth, and my brain just couldn’t keep up with the emotional battle going on inside me.
And he noticed the change. He was absolutely aware of how our relationship and life together had changed. If nothing else, the fact that we haven’t had sex for the past two months must indicate something has gone wrong. I easily saw how his jaw tensed up that night, how he tried hard not to stir up a fight.
“Tonight? Do you really have to go TONIGHT?” I turned around and bit my lower lip. Guilt washed over me when I saw a bottle of my favorite red wine peeking out from his briefcase. He had signed his contract today and purposely came home early to celebrate, lovey-dovey and all.
I closed my eyes and fisted the insides of my pockets. I made two quick steps towards my lover to give him a quick peck on cheek.
“Sorry, hon. Yeol needs some fresh air tonight. Maternity is killing him, I mean...you know what I mean,” I stuttered. I am not completely sure whether or not Gyu ever believed this excuse. Why would he? I was a stuttering klutz.
Seong Gyu clenched his jaw again. He looked petrifying.
I turned around to quickly make my leave because of how awkward it was getting. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew that I was lying...
When I held the doorknob, I heard him ask weakly, “Did you meet someone else, Nam Woo Hyeon? Or is this all breaking down for no particular reason?”
I turned around to look at him, eyes big and brows raised. How could he possibly think that I was...
“You are almost never home either. And when I do get home, you’re already sleeping-”
I pretend to sleep to check your calls and texts when you go shower.
“-if I wake you up to cuddle or even have sex, you groan saying that you are not in the mood. YOU Hyeon, of all people, said that you weren’t in the mood.”
Yeah Gyu, but it was only because I found out that you had lunch with HIM, that you had a 20-minute call with him, that you had done something WITH HIM...
“When I call you during the day, you sometimes don't pick up. There were even days where you didn’t even bother to return my calls. Forgive me if I am jumping to conclusions here, but you come off...unfaithful.”
I am not with someone else, Gyu. I am working hard in my dance classes to stop myself from worrying too much, but talking to you makes me sour all over again. I don’t want my day to be ruined….
Horrible. I realized how ugly I treated my own lover. In an irrational fear of losing him, I dealt with my emotions in an ugly way and completely forgot about my boyfriend. I didn’t realize that I had distanced myself from him. I was too occupied with dealing with myself that...
“Seong Gyu...,” I sighed, holding his elbow tight to make my point clear, “I would never EVER cheat on you. I am sorry that I made you feel this way. That's just...horrible. I had no idea.” I felt my eyes getting dangerously wet. He just gave me this “please I'm begging you, tell me what's happening” look. But I couldn't.
I can't tell you. It's way too embarrassing.
Luckily for me, my phone started ringing.
“It's Yeol. He’s in a taxi. I... have to go.” I looked at him apologetically. “I am sorry,” I say meaningfully, which probably made him feel miserable. “I am sorry,” the irrational and stupid me repeated.
Gyu just stood there in the hallway with his coat still on and bottle of wine in hand. I could see tears that were threatening to fall, to well out of his beautiful, beautiful eyes.
I greeted Seong Yeol even though my head was a mess. All I could think about was speaking to Kim Seong Jong, to see him with my own eyes.
“Mirae texted me a few minutes ago that she is already inside,” my best friend informed me.
“Hm. Good.” I saw Yeol examining my face. He didn't say anything until we actually got into the club.
“We are not here to dance…”
Yeol started complaining, but I didn't have time to listen to him. I set off towards the last few chairs that were free in the bar. I took a seat and called the closest barman. He turned around and I saw that it was Myeong Soo.
“Hey! Woo Hyeon-ah!” He offered me a high-five, but I was not in the mood. I only smiled nervously.
Myungsoo cleared his throat and retreated.
“Are you alone or...”
Seong Yeol finally caught up and landed at the free chair next to mine.
“Woo Hyun, you sick bastard, I finally understand!”
“Yeol-ie. Good to know, my shift is almost over,” Myeong Soo said, giving Yeol a meaningful eye.
“I can see you, Myeong Soo. I am fine. Now goodnight to you.” I scolded them for behaving as if I weren’t there.
“Fuck you,” Myeong Soo grimace, going back to serve his customers. I could see that he wasn't able to really comprehend what was really going on. Awesome. Another one of my friends who will probably hate me after tonight... For a second there, I felt guilty. Myeong Soo had no idea what was happening... he probably didn't even know who he was working with. I made a mental note to call him tomorrow to-
“Hey Jong-ie!” Myeong Soo called. He called that name with such adoration that it felt as if time had stopped.
I saw the bright smile and those plump pink lips that framed a set of bright and shiny teeth. Seong Jong received a kiss on the cheek from my (as far as I remember) straight friend Myeong Soo. It appeared as though the younger was blushing. At least, it looked like he was blushing....he blushed behaviorally...does that even make sense? He was a poser.
His hair was short now-straight, short, and black. He doesn’t look that girly anymore. His smile, his eyes, the way he smacked Myungsoo's shoulders playfully…those nuances. He was definitely different. Awesome. My brain was serving him in slow motion to me. There was no way I could have ignored his perfections.
Loud music blasting in the background, I wasn’t able to fully make out what he was saying and whispering to Myeong Soo. And then I felt a pinch on my arm.
“YAOUCH!” I yelped, patting my abused arm. Seong Yeol gestured that I was staring. Goodness...I knew I brought him here for a reason. I cleared my throat and turned back to where the two barmen were. There was only Seong Jong now. The boy was adjusting a black apron around his ridiculously thin waist.
“He doesn't look like chick,” Sung Yeol whispered, “I knew you were overreacting.”
I nodded, but I didn't really give a shit. I raised my hand to call Seong Jong, who gestured that he would be over in just a second. My heart started beating when he flashed his Hollywood smile at me. His voice sounded high when he asked what drink what I wanted.
For several hours, Sung Yeol and I just kept watch of him as we ordered more drinks. It was the fifth tequila when Yeol finally smacked my head and said, “Is this why you dragged me here? To watch him for hours while you get wasted?”
“No. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how!” I complained bitterly.
Seong Yeol looked around the club and sighed.
“Mirae is making out with someone. Ah. Lucky girl,” Yeol sounded equally bitter. I didn't react because I could care less about another one of Mirae's one night stands.
“Seriously, Woo Hyeon-ah. Why did we even get married in the first place?” he asked drunkenly.
I snorted.
“You are the only one married here, idiot. Not that I would mind being wedded to Gyu, you know? At least, it would be the smallest assurance that he was...mine.” I played with the wedding ring on Seong Yeol's left hand for a while beforeI heard a voice from the opposite side of the bar.
“Nice ring.” Seong Jong flashed his beautiful smile at my friend and leaned over the counter to examine it closely.
“Newly wed?” Seong Jong asked. I encouraged Yeol to carry on with the random conversation. It was what I came for after all!
“N-not really. It's been a while,” Seong Yeol stuttered.
“Oh really?! You seem to be so young, you and your friend.” He looked at me, and to my horrid surprise, he winked.
“You seem younger. No wife?” Yeol continued.
Seong Jong just laughed and waved his hand.
“Oh come on, I know everything on me shouts 'gay'. You don't have to be careful. I am just fine with being one.”
My breath hitched for a second.
“I see. Sorry. So I guess you have boyfriend, right? Is he ok with you having long night shifts in a night club?” I asked, trying my luck with a bolder question.
He studied my face for a while. I panicked slightly. Oh fuck, he just recognized me! I never thought about it before, but what if Seong Gyu actually showed him some pictures of us and....
“I don't have a boyfriend at present.” He just smiled with another wink. What the hell? I was told that I never came across as gay to people who don’t know me.
Seong Jong went off to serve other customers for a while.
“He is so cute. I want to fold him in my pocket and take him home with me,” Yeol sighed. I smacked his head hard.
“Yah! You are my best friend! You are supposed to be on my side, not adoring the enemy!”
“Seriously, how can you call this little boy your enemy?” Seong Yeol rubbed his head and pouted.
“Shut up, your wife is not the one hanging out with him as her ex. I don't need you to understand what’s going on with me. I just want your support, ok?”
Seong Yeol continued to pout, and I realized that he was probably drunk beyond comprehension. I just pushed my drink in front of him, and he gratefully downed it with a spark in his innocent eyes.
Two hours later
The bar was almost empty as most of the people had moved onto the dance floor. Seong Yeol was sleeping on the counter, and I was playing with yet another glass of Cuba Libre.
“Is your friend ok?” Seong Jong asked, drying some freshly cleaned glasses.
“He's just...tired.”
“Then why did he come to the club?” Seong Jong tilted his head and tried to think of a reason why two fellows, one deadly tired and the other hardly in the mood to socialize, came to dance club.
“I asked him to come with me. I needed to get out of the house.”
“Oh, is that so? What happened? Girlfriend problems?” The young boy leaned against the counter again.
“Boyfriend.” I gave him a meaningful look.
Seong Jong seemed surprised, and I was glad that I wasn’t so obviously gay. That, however, makes me his polar opposite. This was yet another thought that bothered me.
“He's meeting his ex a lot lately. He insists that it's only friend-wise, but it makes me all fidgety.” I swore I had just shot an arrow straight through Seong Jong's puppy eyes.
He just shrugged and grabbed another glass that needed to be dried.
“That means nothing, really. I don't think you should let this bother you. You see, I’ve been meeting up with my ex, too. Honestly, there were no motives behind it. On the other hand,” he says, leaning on his elbows to look over my head, “I caught myself regretting ever breaking up with him.”
From his tone, I knew that he was mostly just talking to himself aloud. Fucking airhead...
My hand on the tequila shot tightened after hearing this. You regret, hn? You want him back, right?!
“See? That's it. What if his ex wants him back?”
The younger boy, as if awaken from a dream, shook his head.
“Naaah, you should give your boyfriend more credit. You should trust him, you know? If he cheats then he's not worth sticking with,” he said matter-of-factly, returning to the glass.
It downed on me finally. Did the guy just say that he broke up with Gyu? Well, nice! Gyu said they broke up after mutual agreement. Yeah, trusting my boyfriend sounded easier and easier....
“Everything is just a memory now. You can miss someone because of your memories, but that doesn't mean you can see him as your boyfriend ever again. I remember all the fluffy times we had, arguing about the style of our room...” He fell quiet, just shaking his thoughts off. “I am here to listen, not to talk. I got carried away. I am sorry-” He obviously wanted to address me, but he didn't know my name. Fuck, I could bet you that I wasn’t going to tell him.
YOUR DORM ROOM?! As far as I was concerned, Seong Gyu lived in his dorm room alone with Dongwoo and Hoya, his roommates.
“Heeeeeeeey~~~” I saw a very sweaty and disheveled Mirae leaning over the bar a few seats from me. I was just about to shout 'get the fuck out of here' because I was finally getting what I wanted.
“Are you Seong Jong? I am here for two shots of Sex on the beach, and...if you are Jong, I am supposed to say it's for Hoya.” She grinned, lipstick smeared. I shifted a little to the side, trying to hide my face. HOYA?! WHAT THE HELL IS HOYA DOING HERE MAKING OUT WITH MY...EX! If he saw me talking to Seong Jong, it would be the end of my plans!
“Jerk. He's such a freeloader,” Seong Jong complained bitterly, handing Mirae the drinks.
I cleared my throat the second Mirae left, fumbling for my wallet in my pocket.
“Ah..are you leaving?” Seong Jong looked at me almost sorry.
“Yeah, I... think it's time to go.”
“I am so sorry I got so personal/. I am new to this job and I think I don't quite yet-”
“It's not your fault. How much?” I cut him off before he gave me another reason why he should be adored and not hated.
He looked taken aback by my tone. He surely knew something changed and..well, I felt a little sorry. But I wasn’t fucking sure who to blame for everything anymore. I paid the bill and woke Yeol up. He mumbled something incoherent, but, thank god, he was easy to wake up. I appreciated that he wasn't drunk to the level where I would have had to fetch him home.
As a result, it was me who hopped out of the taxi first. I stood in front of the apartment and just stared at our window for a while. I put my hands into the pockets of my coat and just...stared.
Seong Gyu. I love you.
I felt the chill of the night, so I just quickly set off towards my flat, eyes dropping sadly to the sidewalk.
I opened the door and found Seong Gyu fast asleep on the couch. My chest couldn't have felt heavier.
I took a few steps towards the couch and realized that... he was sleeping with his sheets. Great. Are we sleeping separately now?
I knelt down, laying my head on the armrest, to watch his peaceful face.
“Why are you lying to me?” I whispered, tenderly reaching out to brush his fringe aside. “Why do you cling to him so much, Gyu.” I gave his forehead a soft kiss. I took a closer look and saw that he had developed a few deep wrinkles here and there. I knew that it was mostly from his job. How could I have been so blind to ignore his troubled face, his frowns, his insecurities?
“Good night,” I finished, brushing my lips over his tenderly before ascending the stairs to our room. My room? I don't even know anymore.
His side of the bed looked empty. I took the paper that was lying where his pillow was and read the message. He wanted to have a talk with me tomorrow. Good. I will tell him everything, even the dirty secrets and doubts that my sick mind had made up for the past 3 months.
“Ahhh fuck, I love you so much,” I sighed tiredly.
A/N: Hey people, so... I know this chapter is lacking a lot in both story telling and feeling, but I seriously needed to get over this secne. I was stuck on it for so long ~~ So please forgive me ^^ Next chapter,on the other hand, I can promise to make it oh....so worth it ^^ Maybe it'll even be the final chapter. Not sure about that yet ~ Comments are love <3 Thanks to all of you that commented, makes me so hyped everytime XD THANKS THANKS THANKS! And everyone, you probably noticed how my comments sucks, so if you leave a nice word to my sweet beta-reader, who not only checks the grammar but makes the story "sound" English as well, I'll love you twice more ^^