Bill
Hey, babe. What's for dinner? ... Oh, yeah, my day was great. The debate was fine; you'd have been bored to death. Although, there was a pretty funny thing right as I was getting in.
Basically, all of us regular folks who were attending the debate were queued up outside, waiting for them to give us a once over and decide we weren't going to try and take any shots at the nominees or blow the place up or anything. So, right when I'm getting to the front, this old woman in front of me starts making a big fuss with the security guard who's checking people's bags. I mean, a big fuss.
So, the way it works is we get to the front of the line; we give the guard our ticket, and then they check in our bags, or camera cases, or whatever. I don't know what they're expecting to find. Like, I am sure the terrorists are walking around with big old sticks of dynomite tied together with a ticking clock and a big sign that says "bomb". ... I'm serious baby. If you were a terrorist you're going to have something like that hidden down your pants or something, aren't you? ... Yeah, yeah, very funny. I've heard it called a lot of things but never "bomb".
Anyway, so this old lady gets to the front of the line and the guard takes her ticket and then asks to look in her purse. Baby, this lady goes ballistic. I mean, no warm up or nothing. She just starts in about how ridiculous that is and moves right to "illegal searches and seizures". Thing is, I sort of see her point. I mean, ever since September 11th we've been just dropping our pants whenever the government says "terrorist". ... No, I do not have a little pants fixation tonight. ... I am not blushing. Look, what I am saying here is that the lady made some pretty good points. Yeah, she was a little rabid about it, but she was right. These places which require everyone's bags to be searched before they get in are, essentially, treating us all as guilty until proven innocent. And we're just letting them. That lady had a really great line about that, too. She said it was Jefferson or Franklin or one of those Founding Fathers -- something like 'anyone who will give up some freedom for a little security doesn't deserve either of them' or something like that. Maybe she didn't pick her forum very well, and was a bit over-excited, but she definitely knew her stuff.
Anyway, so this old lady's shouting about her Constitutional rights and the poor security guard is trying to stay cool about it -- just telling the lady that she's only trying to do her job and stuff. Meanwhile, this hippy chick behind me is shouting encouragement to the old lady and other folks in the line are starting to grumble. It was looking like it was going to turn into a real circus.
Suddenly, just like that, this old lady hauls back her purse and takes a swing at the guard. She really wound up for it, too. She probably could have cold-cocked the guard with that purse. The guard, though, sees it coming and steps out of the way of it. This old lady's swinging so hard she can't stop and she kind of stumbles and the purse goes flying up and everything -- I mean every damned thing -- in that purse comes flying out. There're tissues, and pills, and packets of sugar, and teabags, and every kind of thing all over the ground. You know, sometimes I tease you about all the junk you've got in your purse? You've got nothing on this old lady.
So, the old lady gives the guard this look which ought to have killed her dead on the spot. I mean, seriously, that guard is lucky looks can't kill. So, yeah, the old lady gives the guard the evil eye, and then gets down and starts putting all her stuff back into her purse. The guard makes a move like she's going to help out, but thinks better of it and stands back.
For all the stuff in that purse, the old lady gets it all stowed pretty quickly and stands up. The poor guard is obviously putting huge effort into not laughing. She manages to keep a pretty straight face as she steps aside and tells the lady that she is now welcome to go inside. ... No shit. ... Well, yeah, I mean, she'd already seen everything in that purse, right?
Yeah, the thing is, well, it's really one of those things that leaves me a bit off. I mean, on the one hand, it was really funny. But, on the other hand, that old lady really got me to thinking about personal freedoms and shit. ... What? ... Yeah, ok, I've got some personal freedom for you, too.
Basically, all of us regular folks who were attending the debate were queued up outside, waiting for them to give us a once over and decide we weren't going to try and take any shots at the nominees or blow the place up or anything. So, right when I'm getting to the front, this old woman in front of me starts making a big fuss with the security guard who's checking people's bags. I mean, a big fuss.
So, the way it works is we get to the front of the line; we give the guard our ticket, and then they check in our bags, or camera cases, or whatever. I don't know what they're expecting to find. Like, I am sure the terrorists are walking around with big old sticks of dynomite tied together with a ticking clock and a big sign that says "bomb". ... I'm serious baby. If you were a terrorist you're going to have something like that hidden down your pants or something, aren't you? ... Yeah, yeah, very funny. I've heard it called a lot of things but never "bomb".
Anyway, so this old lady gets to the front of the line and the guard takes her ticket and then asks to look in her purse. Baby, this lady goes ballistic. I mean, no warm up or nothing. She just starts in about how ridiculous that is and moves right to "illegal searches and seizures". Thing is, I sort of see her point. I mean, ever since September 11th we've been just dropping our pants whenever the government says "terrorist". ... No, I do not have a little pants fixation tonight. ... I am not blushing. Look, what I am saying here is that the lady made some pretty good points. Yeah, she was a little rabid about it, but she was right. These places which require everyone's bags to be searched before they get in are, essentially, treating us all as guilty until proven innocent. And we're just letting them. That lady had a really great line about that, too. She said it was Jefferson or Franklin or one of those Founding Fathers -- something like 'anyone who will give up some freedom for a little security doesn't deserve either of them' or something like that. Maybe she didn't pick her forum very well, and was a bit over-excited, but she definitely knew her stuff.
Anyway, so this old lady's shouting about her Constitutional rights and the poor security guard is trying to stay cool about it -- just telling the lady that she's only trying to do her job and stuff. Meanwhile, this hippy chick behind me is shouting encouragement to the old lady and other folks in the line are starting to grumble. It was looking like it was going to turn into a real circus.
Suddenly, just like that, this old lady hauls back her purse and takes a swing at the guard. She really wound up for it, too. She probably could have cold-cocked the guard with that purse. The guard, though, sees it coming and steps out of the way of it. This old lady's swinging so hard she can't stop and she kind of stumbles and the purse goes flying up and everything -- I mean every damned thing -- in that purse comes flying out. There're tissues, and pills, and packets of sugar, and teabags, and every kind of thing all over the ground. You know, sometimes I tease you about all the junk you've got in your purse? You've got nothing on this old lady.
So, the old lady gives the guard this look which ought to have killed her dead on the spot. I mean, seriously, that guard is lucky looks can't kill. So, yeah, the old lady gives the guard the evil eye, and then gets down and starts putting all her stuff back into her purse. The guard makes a move like she's going to help out, but thinks better of it and stands back.
For all the stuff in that purse, the old lady gets it all stowed pretty quickly and stands up. The poor guard is obviously putting huge effort into not laughing. She manages to keep a pretty straight face as she steps aside and tells the lady that she is now welcome to go inside. ... No shit. ... Well, yeah, I mean, she'd already seen everything in that purse, right?
Yeah, the thing is, well, it's really one of those things that leaves me a bit off. I mean, on the one hand, it was really funny. But, on the other hand, that old lady really got me to thinking about personal freedoms and shit. ... What? ... Yeah, ok, I've got some personal freedom for you, too.