I cried my eyes out last night.
"Because I want to get the hell out of this
country." I said.
I replied. He was going to say yes, I knew he was going to say yes, Daniel always eventually said yes.
"OK I guess so" He said. Then he paused "what are we going to do there?" he asked. I could see that he was nervous about spending time in the third world me, a girl.
"same ol' same ol' you know drink, smoke and curse. Your kind of thing" I said while I winked at him.
"OK" he said.
You see that was the problem with Daniel was that he was a pushover. Well, he wasn't always a pushover. In fact six months ago he would have been begging me to go. The Daniel from six months ago wouldn’t have even gotten himself a night job. The Daniel from six months ago would have given his left toe to take a road trip to Mexico. I used to see him come alive when he talked but now I never see that spark in his eye. He looks like just a shell of his former self. This was actually the reason I wanted to take him to Mexico. Not because I needed a traveling buddy or because Daniel had lived in the third world before or even because neither of us had ever been to Mexico. It was before, he needed this. Well I needed this too. But Daniel, he… he really needed this. We worked out the details and before long we were cruising down highway 101 in Daniel’s old 1983 beat up Mercedes. We had the top down and we were chain smoking like chimneys. It felt good. It felt good to just get up one day and leave. Leave everything, leave your house, leave your parents, leave your job, Hell I even left the mess at my apartment. Daniel was driving and the sun was setting in the pacific. Things could not be more perfect. It is funny, I was watching the sun set and I thought about all my friends back home. I started to wonder what they were doing. Then I started to think about all the problems they were having. You wanna know what is really screwed up? People settle for drama when they really were created for adventure. I turned to Daniel “What’cha thinking about?” I asked him. “I’m not thinking” he said. Typical I thought. He used to be one of the deepest people I knew now he doesn’t even think. I vowed there to cure Daniel of his white bread syndrome. “I am praying” he added. I laughed. Maybe not all the spark was gone. That kid made me laugh. I mean praying, would you just get a load of this guy. He cracks me up. “awesome” I said. The rest of the ride down was smooth. No terrible problems. Locked ourselves out of the car once, ran down the battery twice and bickered constantly about the music you know the usual. Once in Mexico we headed for the coast. The western coast to be exact. We were traveling down Mexican state highway 200 when we stopped for lunch in a small coastal town. Don’t really recall the name but it was beautiful. I am telling you right out of the fucking postcards. We got out of the car, and sun was straight up in the air. It was high noon. We still didn’t really know the Mexican etiquette so we ended up asking a kid nearby for a good place to eat. Bad mistake. The kid that we asked stated to lead us all over town. We were walking down all these streets I lost the way back to the car but Daniel looked confident enough. The kid led us into an alley until we came to a dead end. I saw Daniel get agitated. I didn’t know it at the time but the kid had sold us up the river. The kid got really nervous and I could see he was about to cry, but when I kneeled to comfort him three teenage brutes came out of nowhere and started for us. I wanted to run but they were cutting off our exit. Daniel turned to me and in that instant I could see the spark was back in his eye. He leaned forward, close to me, you know the unnatural sort of close. “Hold this” he said as he slipped his keys and wallet to me. Then he did something I really didn’t expect he kissed me on the cheek turned around and began to swing. And let me tell you never in all my life have I seen someone fight with such heart the way that this man did. He probably took the boys blow for blow, matching each cold hard smack for cold hard smack. But his punches meant more because he was smiling when while he did it all. The fight ended when one boys broke his nose and the three of them ran for the hills. Body count on the boy side: a couple of bruises and a cut in the face from having his face ground into the dirt. On Daniel’s side he was about the same. That could been the most alive I have ever seen Daniel. It was fucking beautiful, Wait. That is a lie. There was this other time. We had stopped in another village. This time it was on our way back. When we stepped out of the car this little girl came up to us but stopped about ten feet away. She stopped dead in his tracks and looked scared as hell. So I flashed her a smile. (The international language.) And the kid smiled back. I swear it was so cute. Daniel bent down and took of his hat and flopped it down on her head. The kid smiled again and then got really shy and ran off. We ate at this corner stand. And we were sitting there under the shade of this giant tree when a man came up to us and said in broken English “please to me speak to you.” We both got up but the man said to me while holding out his hand “please, not woman.” So I sat down. Daniel flashed me a confused look I shot back the same look. They stood about 30 feet away and talked quietly for a while. Until finally Daniel came back on his own. “lets go” he said. “what” I asked “why?” Then he snapped “Lets just fucking go ok!” He lifted his burrito to his mouth then he dropped it “not hungry” he muttered. We went back to the car. I could tell there the was something wrong. “What’s the matter?” I asked once we were safely back in the sanctuary of the Mercedes. “That man was that little girl’s father.” He said. “What did he want?” I asked again. I could see now that he had tear rolling down his right cheek. “He was trying to sell his child to me for sex” Daniel started to cry. “Oh, no no no no no no” I said in a comforting voice. I leaned forward and held his head against my shoulder. “It’s just that it hurts so bad” he said. And that was it, from then on that was when Daniel got his spark back and I haven’t seen him without it since. It is really funny to me. I mean in a world with contrasts so great as night and day, a country where you can see the sweetest smile from a child and then turn around and be offered a pedophilic act with that same child. This is exactly how extreme life must be to feel alive. When people have so much security, so many insurance policies, so much money, and so little struggle they loose their fulfillment it took Daniel come face to face with a pedophilic pimp to realize his gift for compassion. Keep it going Daniel I am cheering you on. ~Dan
I replied. He was going to say yes, I knew he was going to say yes, Daniel always eventually said yes.
"OK I guess so" He said. Then he paused "what are we going to do there?" he asked. I could see that he was nervous about spending time in the third world me, a girl.
"same ol' same ol' you know drink, smoke and curse. Your kind of thing" I said while I winked at him.
"OK" he said.
You see that was the problem with Daniel was that he was a pushover. Well, he wasn't always a pushover. In fact six months ago he would have been begging me to go. The Daniel from six months ago wouldn’t have even gotten himself a night job. The Daniel from six months ago would have given his left toe to take a road trip to Mexico. I used to see him come alive when he talked but now I never see that spark in his eye. He looks like just a shell of his former self. This was actually the reason I wanted to take him to Mexico. Not because I needed a traveling buddy or because Daniel had lived in the third world before or even because neither of us had ever been to Mexico. It was before, he needed this. Well I needed this too. But Daniel, he… he really needed this. We worked out the details and before long we were cruising down highway 101 in Daniel’s old 1983 beat up Mercedes. We had the top down and we were chain smoking like chimneys. It felt good. It felt good to just get up one day and leave. Leave everything, leave your house, leave your parents, leave your job, Hell I even left the mess at my apartment. Daniel was driving and the sun was setting in the pacific. Things could not be more perfect. It is funny, I was watching the sun set and I thought about all my friends back home. I started to wonder what they were doing. Then I started to think about all the problems they were having. You wanna know what is really screwed up? People settle for drama when they really were created for adventure. I turned to Daniel “What’cha thinking about?” I asked him. “I’m not thinking” he said. Typical I thought. He used to be one of the deepest people I knew now he doesn’t even think. I vowed there to cure Daniel of his white bread syndrome. “I am praying” he added. I laughed. Maybe not all the spark was gone. That kid made me laugh. I mean praying, would you just get a load of this guy. He cracks me up. “awesome” I said. The rest of the ride down was smooth. No terrible problems. Locked ourselves out of the car once, ran down the battery twice and bickered constantly about the music you know the usual. Once in Mexico we headed for the coast. The western coast to be exact. We were traveling down Mexican state highway 200 when we stopped for lunch in a small coastal town. Don’t really recall the name but it was beautiful. I am telling you right out of the fucking postcards. We got out of the car, and sun was straight up in the air. It was high noon. We still didn’t really know the Mexican etiquette so we ended up asking a kid nearby for a good place to eat. Bad mistake. The kid that we asked stated to lead us all over town. We were walking down all these streets I lost the way back to the car but Daniel looked confident enough. The kid led us into an alley until we came to a dead end. I saw Daniel get agitated. I didn’t know it at the time but the kid had sold us up the river. The kid got really nervous and I could see he was about to cry, but when I kneeled to comfort him three teenage brutes came out of nowhere and started for us. I wanted to run but they were cutting off our exit. Daniel turned to me and in that instant I could see the spark was back in his eye. He leaned forward, close to me, you know the unnatural sort of close. “Hold this” he said as he slipped his keys and wallet to me. Then he did something I really didn’t expect he kissed me on the cheek turned around and began to swing. And let me tell you never in all my life have I seen someone fight with such heart the way that this man did. He probably took the boys blow for blow, matching each cold hard smack for cold hard smack. But his punches meant more because he was smiling when while he did it all. The fight ended when one boys broke his nose and the three of them ran for the hills. Body count on the boy side: a couple of bruises and a cut in the face from having his face ground into the dirt. On Daniel’s side he was about the same. That could been the most alive I have ever seen Daniel. It was fucking beautiful, Wait. That is a lie. There was this other time. We had stopped in another village. This time it was on our way back. When we stepped out of the car this little girl came up to us but stopped about ten feet away. She stopped dead in his tracks and looked scared as hell. So I flashed her a smile. (The international language.) And the kid smiled back. I swear it was so cute. Daniel bent down and took of his hat and flopped it down on her head. The kid smiled again and then got really shy and ran off. We ate at this corner stand. And we were sitting there under the shade of this giant tree when a man came up to us and said in broken English “please to me speak to you.” We both got up but the man said to me while holding out his hand “please, not woman.” So I sat down. Daniel flashed me a confused look I shot back the same look. They stood about 30 feet away and talked quietly for a while. Until finally Daniel came back on his own. “lets go” he said. “what” I asked “why?” Then he snapped “Lets just fucking go ok!” He lifted his burrito to his mouth then he dropped it “not hungry” he muttered. We went back to the car. I could tell there the was something wrong. “What’s the matter?” I asked once we were safely back in the sanctuary of the Mercedes. “That man was that little girl’s father.” He said. “What did he want?” I asked again. I could see now that he had tear rolling down his right cheek. “He was trying to sell his child to me for sex” Daniel started to cry. “Oh, no no no no no no” I said in a comforting voice. I leaned forward and held his head against my shoulder. “It’s just that it hurts so bad” he said. And that was it, from then on that was when Daniel got his spark back and I haven’t seen him without it since. It is really funny to me. I mean in a world with contrasts so great as night and day, a country where you can see the sweetest smile from a child and then turn around and be offered a pedophilic act with that same child. This is exactly how extreme life must be to feel alive. When people have so much security, so many insurance policies, so much money, and so little struggle they loose their fulfillment it took Daniel come face to face with a pedophilic pimp to realize his gift for compassion. Keep it going Daniel I am cheering you on. ~Dan