I had another dream where I was married.
I woke up it was the middle of the night. My mouth was dry. I was going to get up and get a glass of water when I noticed that she wasn't there.
She had climbed out of bed and resigned herself to sleeping on the floor. Ever since the third trimester my wife was having trouble sleeping in the bed. Usually she just kicks and squirms untill she passes out. But tonight she had bypassed the entire process and decided to sleep on the floor. I am usually woken up by her retreat to the floor but this time I slept right through it.
She had taken her pillow and the large comforter with her but seeing as it was mid summer and a hot night she had kicked the blanket to her feet in the middle of her sleep and was now curled in on her self.
I sat there looking at her beautiful face in the moonlight. I tried to imagine the baby in curled up inside her in a similair fetal position. I just couldn't picture it. How am I supossed to imagine something that is a perfect mix her and me.
I sighed, giving up and trying to picture the child. The sonnogram was useless to me. it all looked like a mix of black and white. I never was able to make heads or tails of it. Or should I say heads or baby bottoms.
I picked the pillow from the bed and layed down beside my uncomfortable pregnant wife. and just as I did she shifted and released the smallest moan. "great" I thought " I woke her". But she rolled over and remained motionless. Good I thought, she needs her sleep.
I lay there beside my dozing wife and lost my self in thought. A past time that I enjoyed. "Besides" I thought, "it is to hot to sleep."
"Your bed too soft" she said with her back still turned to me.
"So you did wake up" I said.
She rolled over to face me and smilled. " Yeah I am awake, and I just wanted to tell you that your bed is too soft."
"Hey, princess your the one who picked this one out." I reminded with a grin.
"Well" she paused "Your the one who got me pregnant."
I dropped my jaw in an overly dramatic fashion and turned to her.
She started to giggle.
Then she sighed and we both looked at the whit coated stucko ceilling coated in the mid summer moonlight.
"What are we gonna do?" she asked the ceiling as we lay side by side.
I sighed.
"Daniel?" she asked.
"Yeah" I said absent mindedly
"Are you..." she paused.
"Are you gonna love this baby?"
"What" I asked.
"I mean when the baby comes, are you going to love it?"
I turned my head to look at her she had that thousand yard stare in her eyes, as if she was watching something way beyond the white stucko ceiling.
"Where is this coming from?" I asked her.
" I am just saying" she said " What if he is a bad little boy, what if he never takes naps, what if he can't sit still, what if he is a difficult child. I mean it is so unfair, it is not like we are gonna pick out a child and take him home with us, we have this kid and that is that. No refunds, No returns, No trade, No store credit. I mean I don't even know him yet and I am supposed to love him forever?"
"Does that make me a bad mother?" She looked at with pleading guilt in her eyes.
"bad mother?" I said "Hmm" I shrugged off her last question and said. " I just always thought that if I love you, I am going to love this child."
I looked at my extremely pregnant wife. she was still staring a thousand yards past the stucko white ceiling.
"Me too." she said.
She had climbed out of bed and resigned herself to sleeping on the floor. Ever since the third trimester my wife was having trouble sleeping in the bed. Usually she just kicks and squirms untill she passes out. But tonight she had bypassed the entire process and decided to sleep on the floor. I am usually woken up by her retreat to the floor but this time I slept right through it.
She had taken her pillow and the large comforter with her but seeing as it was mid summer and a hot night she had kicked the blanket to her feet in the middle of her sleep and was now curled in on her self.
I sat there looking at her beautiful face in the moonlight. I tried to imagine the baby in curled up inside her in a similair fetal position. I just couldn't picture it. How am I supossed to imagine something that is a perfect mix her and me.
I sighed, giving up and trying to picture the child. The sonnogram was useless to me. it all looked like a mix of black and white. I never was able to make heads or tails of it. Or should I say heads or baby bottoms.
I picked the pillow from the bed and layed down beside my uncomfortable pregnant wife. and just as I did she shifted and released the smallest moan. "great" I thought " I woke her". But she rolled over and remained motionless. Good I thought, she needs her sleep.
I lay there beside my dozing wife and lost my self in thought. A past time that I enjoyed. "Besides" I thought, "it is to hot to sleep."
"Your bed too soft" she said with her back still turned to me.
"So you did wake up" I said.
She rolled over to face me and smilled. " Yeah I am awake, and I just wanted to tell you that your bed is too soft."
"Hey, princess your the one who picked this one out." I reminded with a grin.
"Well" she paused "Your the one who got me pregnant."
I dropped my jaw in an overly dramatic fashion and turned to her.
She started to giggle.
Then she sighed and we both looked at the whit coated stucko ceilling coated in the mid summer moonlight.
"What are we gonna do?" she asked the ceiling as we lay side by side.
I sighed.
"Daniel?" she asked.
"Yeah" I said absent mindedly
"Are you..." she paused.
"Are you gonna love this baby?"
"What" I asked.
"I mean when the baby comes, are you going to love it?"
I turned my head to look at her she had that thousand yard stare in her eyes, as if she was watching something way beyond the white stucko ceiling.
"Where is this coming from?" I asked her.
" I am just saying" she said " What if he is a bad little boy, what if he never takes naps, what if he can't sit still, what if he is a difficult child. I mean it is so unfair, it is not like we are gonna pick out a child and take him home with us, we have this kid and that is that. No refunds, No returns, No trade, No store credit. I mean I don't even know him yet and I am supposed to love him forever?"
"Does that make me a bad mother?" She looked at with pleading guilt in her eyes.
"bad mother?" I said "Hmm" I shrugged off her last question and said. " I just always thought that if I love you, I am going to love this child."
I looked at my extremely pregnant wife. she was still staring a thousand yards past the stucko white ceiling.
"Me too." she said.