Two Weeks In Hawaii [12/14 + Epilogue]
Title: Two Weeks In Hawaii [12/14 + Epilogue]
Author: ipanicdaily
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Pete (past), Gabe/Will, Nate/Alex
POV: 3rd; Ryan-centric.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone/anything other than the plot. The title belongs to the band Hellogoodbye.
Summary: “Hawaii is more my element.” Brendon paused a few feet from Ryan and stood up, turning to face him. “It’s no big deal, Ryan.” He smiled; fake. “I’m used to being alone. I get by just fine.” Brendon shook his hair out then headed for the bank, climbing from the water and heading towards the backpack.
Warning: Man/man, language, sex, angst; more to come probably.
Beta: ashxisxrad
Author Notes: Holy crap did this take awhile. It was like pulling teeth, I swear...
Past Parts: Prologue ♥ Day One ♥ Day Two ♥ Day Three ♥ Day Four ♥ Day five ♥ Day Six ♥ Day Seven ♥ Day Eight ♥ Day Nine ♥ Day Ten ♥ Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Ryan wasn’t all that surprised to wake up alone the next morning. Disappointed, yeah, he was hoping that Brendon would leave William and come upstairs, but he honestly didn’t expect it was going to happen. Still, when he opened his eyes to discover half the bed just as cold and empty as it was when he went to sleep, Ryan couldn’t help but sigh miserably into the pillow. He wanted to be selfish and have Brendon all to himself though he knew that maybe William needed him a bit more. Maybe.
For probably ten or so minutes Ryan laid there, twisted in the sheets, staring at the beam of warm light that slipped in through the joining points of the curtains over the balcony doors. The house was silent, it was pretty early by Ryan’s guess, and the momentum to leave the bed wasn’t terribly strong. He was comfortable and warm and had little reason to get up and do anything.
One such reason being the increasing urge to pee. Ryan was able to ignore it for awhile, but it didn’t take long for the pressure on his bladder to become unbearable and force him from his bliss to the bathroom like practically every morning. It was nice that there was a bathroom about ten or so feet from the bed because Ryan was lazy and waited until he absolutely couldn’t hold it any longer.
After he was done, Ryan went to the dresser where his clothes were, yanking the top drawer open. Brendon had given Ryan his own drawer, it was one of the middle ones, but it was too early to think straight and all Ryan wanted was a shirt. He hated exposing his overly thin body. Ryan grabbed the first shirt he saw and slid it on, not caring whose it was, because it fit him just fine. The color was brighter than Ryan would normally wear, namely because it was yellow, but Ryan wasn’t too concerned about that at the moment either.
Ryan opened the bedroom door with every intention of going downstairs to see if Brendon or anyone else was up yet, when he looked to that same closed door where Gabe was hiding. Curiosity, being the bitch it was, took control and, before he knew it, Ryan was tip-toeing across the floor to it. He was curious to see what Gabe was doing, he figured still sleeping, since he hadn’t seen or heard the man since the previous afternoon.
Upon reaching the door, Ryan pressed the side of his head flat against the wood, listening for any sounds within. All he got was silence though, and Ryan quickly found his hand on the doorknob, twisting it with a soft click, and pushing it open just enough to look inside.
The room was dimly lit; the curtain on the window having been left open. A burst of cool air hit Ryan from a fan or air conditioner blowing into the room, and Ryan involuntarily shivered. Sliding halfway inside, Ryan saw Gabe lying diagonally across the large bed on his stomach; fully clothed. He was on top of all the blankets, Ryan guessed he just passed out, with the smell of alcohol filling the air. That wasn’t much of a surprise.
The thing that surprised Ryan was wrapped tightly in Gabe’s arm, pulled firm against his body, was a teddy bear; dressed in what he made out to be a skeleton costume. Ryan wanted to laugh, so he bit his tongue to keep silent-not wanting to wake Gabe. He never imagined Gabe as the loving-stuffed-animals type, to each their own, and found the sight as amusing. The expression on Gabe’s face was sad, pained even, and the amusement on Ryan’s face died.
Perhaps he was thinking about William. And the bear could be a reminder of his cuddly boyfriend.
Or, maybe, Ryan’s just looking into this way too much. Frowning himself, Ryan backed from the room and pulled the door shut again, inhaling clean air. Ryan felt bad for Gabe, worried about him some, but in a way, the older man deserved to feel regret and hurt and other emotional pains. While Ryan didn’t know the whole story, he knew quite a bit. Gabe didn’t need to treat William so harshly for being good friends with Travis-even if the two had a history. He deserved to feel what he made William feel.
This time, Ryan did go downstairs, bypassing the kitchen and heading straight for the living room. The television had been turned off, the light too, and only the sound of soft snoring filled the large space. Ryan found his boyfriend passed out on the couch; falling half over the edge. Brendon’s left arm dangled to the ground, his face barely on the cushion, and his feet over the arm in what Ryan imagined to be a very uncomfortable angle. A blanket hardly covered him, it too slipping off, exposing some of Brendon’s lower back where his shirt slid up.
William was nowhere in sight.
A smile and a giggle escaped Ryan, a hand lifting to cover his mouth before he went into full blown laughter. He didn’t want to wake Brendon-especially since that could end badly in several ways. What he wanted was a camera because it was definitely a Kodak moment. Something Ryan would frame and keep forever to look at whenever he needed a pick-me-up. He’d frame and keep Brendon forever if he could too.
Ryan stood staring, secretly wanting Brendon to fall just to get a good laugh, until a warm breeze tickled his skin and moved his eyes from Brendon to the backdoor that was cracked open a tiny bit. Leaving Brendon to sleep, Ryan left the living room to go to the door. The sun was starting to get brighter, the ocean down below sparkling invitingly and drawing down to it.
Walking the warped path down to Brendon’s private section of beach, Ryan saw a figure sitting close to the water’s edge. As he drew closer, he realized it was William, that made perfect sense, and Ryan walked faster towards him. William had his knees pulled to his chest, chin resting on top, and arms wrapped tightly around them. He stared out into the ocean, waves slipping up and crashing right beneath the tips of his bare toes in a calm, soothing rhythm.
At the end of the semi-paved walkway, Ryan veered into the mix of grass and sand, feet sinking in the moveable ground with grains of sand poking the skin between his toes. He debated calling out to the man, but William looked lost in thought so Ryan decided to just remain quiet and move in strides. Ryan was sure that William knew he was there as he got a few feet away, though he made no acknowledgments to Ryan’s presence. Accepting that William probably just wanted silence, Ryan sat himself beside the other man and mirrored his position, staring out at a sail boat in the distance.
A warm breeze swirled around them, teasing Ryan’s hair and making William’s look like butterflies floating around his face. Ryan watched the little white sail move around for a few minutes before he got bored and moved his focus to the water stretching up to his feet instead. He smiled in amusement when the water fell just shy of touching him because it was a game, and he was winning.
The sun kept getting warmer and higher, making the land brighter and brighter. The rays reflected off the ocean to make it sparkle, looking somewhat like a twisted disco ball. Seagulls squawked and flew overhead, searching for any edible morsel they could scavenge to eat. Ryan watched one of the winged rats circle around, stupidly thinking he had food, only to abandon them after a few minutes to try somewhere else. Another bird came down to the beach and walked around, a safe distance from Ryan, trying to find maybe a hidden scrap the others missed.
Ryan practically forgot William was there until he finally spoke; all the sights and sounds around him having taken his mind somewhere else. “I understand if you’re mad at me too,” came the quiet, tired voice from Ryan’s left.
Confused, Ryan turned his head to find William still staring into the distance; eyes red and worn. “Huh?”
“Last night.” Bill’s lips barely moved. “I kept Brendon from you. I understand if you’re mad,” he clarified.
“I’m not mad,” Ryan said simply. “You needed a friend. Brendon’s your best friend.” Ryan frowned.
“I was selfish,” William said back. Silently, Ryan agreed. But then again, he was selfish too. “We didn’t even do anything. Just sat there. He fell asleep around two.” He sighed. “I couldn’t sleep though. No matter how hard I tried,” he mumbled.
“I fell asleep really quick.” Ryan shrugged. “I woke up probably a half hour ago. Bren’s still asleep.”
“If I wasn’t such a fucking mess you would have had Brendon like you were supposed to.” Ryan frowned harder. William’s face was a mix of anger, exhaustion, and pain. “I don’t mean to keep ruining your vacation.”
“You’re not ruining my vacation.” Ryan told him, lost to what he could do to help make William feel better. “I’ve been in shittier situations.”
“Then a fucked up love battle?” Bill humorlessly laughed. “Leave it to me, though, to make myself the center of it all.” He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his face to his knees. Hesitantly, Ryan reached over and rubbed William’s shoulder gently, hoping it might help. He really didn’t want William to start crying because he hated watching people cry, and he couldn’t just abandon William there because that’d be rude and probably upset him more.
“It’s a really nice day,” Ryan said in a failed attempt to distract the other man. William’s shoulder shook momentarily with dry laughter, his head lifting as he wiped away a few tears to Ryan’s displeasure. Ryan lowered his hand as William recomposed himself, going back to staring into the distance.
“Hey Ryan; can I ask you a personal question?” William turned his head to look at Ryan with puffy tear-glazed brown eyes. He reminded Ryan of a hungry, lost puppy.
“Sure, I guess.” Ryan shrugged.
“I know it didn’t exactly work out like you had hoped,” he bit his lip momentarily, “but when…when did you know that you wanted to marry Pete?” The question took Ryan completely by surprise and he just stared, wide eyed, only making William’s mood worsen. “Sorry,” he sighed, dropping his shoulders, “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s personal.”
“No-no, it’s okay.” Ryan came back to reality. “I just…wasn’t expecting it, is all,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I knew when…” Truth was, Ryan never really thought about it. He asked Pete to marry him as a spontaneous decision-a way to keep Pete for himself. However, that wasn’t the only reason. He couldn’t tell William that, though, because that seemed desperate, obsessive, and heartless; none of which William needed right now.
Ryan inhaled deeply. “I guess I knew naturally. We had been dating a few years, living together…” Ryan stared down at the sand around him. “I loved him. Apparently it was just one sided, though, you know?” William nodded, expression thoughtful. “In some way, I’ll always love him,” Ryan mumbled.
“I know what that’s like,” Bill dryly laughed. He turned his head straight towards the horizon again. “I was so, so mad at Travie when he stopped talking to me those few years. I thought he was dead at one point and I felt like a piece of myself died.” He shook his head. “Then yesterday when he showed up at the diner, I…” William sucked his lips in, tears pooling in his eyes. “I felt this warm wave wash over me-like all my worries and pains were momentarily nonexistent.” Ryan smiled; it was a bit cheesy.
“Don’t get me wrong; I was, I am, pissed at him for doing that to me.” Bill brushed his eyes quickly. “But I feel so torn now. I’m sure by now you know that Travie and I dated,” Ryan felt his cheeks warm, “and I’m not saying that I want that again, I love Gabe, but I can’t completely cut Travie out of my life like Gabe wants. Especially since I just got him back.” He exhaled miserably. “They’re the two most important people in my life, beside Bren, and they’re constantly at each other’s throats.” A tear rolled down his cheek slowly. “I can’t stand it,” Bill whispered.
Ryan opened his mouth, but didn’t want anything stupid to come out, and shut it again. Feeling the need to do something, Ryan put his arm around William’s shoulders. Almost instantly, William leaned over against Ryan and laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder, shaking a bit. No doubt from being worked up and so exhausted.
Silence fell over them, Ryan absently rubbing William’s arm while watching boats in the distance. After about ten minutes, William sniffled and shifted around, not leaving Ryan’s semi-embrace. “I feel so pathetic right now.” Ryan frowned. “Stuck in some shitty love triangle. Angle, actually, since not all sides would connect. Hopelessly in love with two men who hate each other, and I can’t give either up.”
“Have you…thought about who might…you know, be your ‘soul mate’ or whatever?” There were reasons Ryan wasn’t one to offer advice. That was a prime example. “I don’t know much about either, but it seems like Gabe is very…physical…” Ryan tried to speak carefully. He didn’t want to anger William either.
“Gabe…Gabe is complicated, I guess, for lack of better words.” More dry laughter. “Yeah, he is very physical. He loves to drink and party and act like a teenager whenever he possibly can. We fight, we argue, we say things to each other that we don’t really mean. He’s slept around with people he’s met in clubs, and I’ve done the same to him.” Bill trucked some hair back behind his ear.
“But it’s not all bad. I love Gabe, and I know he loves me. When I’m sick or sad, he’s right there beside me to get me anything I need and do whatever he can think of to make me feel better.” A smile came over his softening face. “And he may not seem like it, but he can be really romantic and sweet when he wants to be. One time, he flooded the studio where I work with dozens of red roses and only a small white card reading ‘Because You’re Beautiful’ without it being some holiday or anything.” A few more tears ran down William’s face.
“And Travie…” Bill continued. “Some of my best memories are with him. He’s always been someone I’ve looked up to-he was this cute older boy from New York that wore baggy clothes and listened to rap music. He was different; interesting. And he was so quiet, but so incredibly nice once you got to know him.” Ryan listened diligently as William unraveled in his arm. The sun was very warm now, hurting Ryan’s eyes with its brightness.
“Travie may have been my first, but he was everything I imagined. Not once did he ever try to do something to make me uncomfortable or upset. We never argued or even disagreed, for that matter.” Ryan just continued rubbing William’s arm, focusing half on the man’s words, and half on the boats far out soaring by. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about what William was saying, it was more that Ryan wasn’t some Dr. Phil or anything and tended to avoid people’s personal problems.
“I think a lot of that was what drove me to Gabe. Travie was perfect, but he was too perfect, you know? I craved that ‘normal’ relationship-kind of what I have with Gabe now.” He brushed another escaped tear away. “But most of all, the closer Travie and I got as a couple, the more afraid I got of losing him. I was terrified that something would force us apart and I would lose him as a friend too and I…I couldn’t deal with that. So I ended it before it became a problem.”
“It’ll all work out, Bill,” Ryan mumbled with as much encouragement he could muster. The man really had a valid problem. Ryan could tell by William’s tone that he was incredibly in love with both Travis and Gabe, and felt bad that William was torn by his feelings.
“Fuck; I’m sorry, Ryan.” William laughed lightly and sat up. “You’re supposed to be having a good time and here I am dumping all my problems on you.” He dug his palms into his eyes, a fake smile forced on his lips.
“I don’t mind,” Ryan half lied. He didn’t want to get tangled in the situation, but he wanted to help make William feel better too. The man was nothing but kind to him, and pretty much everyone else in the world too. He deserve this pain.
“Thanks, but I know you don’t want to listen to my shit.” Another laugh. “I hate how everyone thinks my relationship with Gabe is their business, yet I can’t keep my mouth from running.”
“You want to know what I think?” The words came out before Ryan could stop them.
“Sure; why not.” Bill chuckled. “Everyone else has offered their opinions.”
“I think you need to go talk to Gabe,” Ryan said. “Sit him down and tell him how you feel. That you do love Travis and you’re going to remain friends with him, but that you love Gabe too and that’s not going to change.” Confidence like this was rare for Ryan. “Then, one of two things will happen. Gabe will accept that and you two will get over this and be just fine, or, the less desired option, Gabe won’t accept that you’re not giving Travis up and you’ll go your separate ways; hopefully still as friends.”
William looked at Ryan carefully, studying him, a real smile replacing the fake ones. “You’re right.” He nodded. “We leave in two days, right? I have to deal with this.” Bill took a deep breath. “I have to talk to Gabe. I’ve ignored him long enough already, anyway.” He laughed more.
William stood up, reaching down to offer a hand to Ryan and help him up. Ryan brushed the sand away, straightening his clothes. William did the same and tucked his long hair back out of his face, hugging himself and leading the way back to the house. The path was warm, stinging Ryan’s bare feet, making him walk at a quickened pace.
The wood inside was fortunately a cool relief. Ryan closed the door once they both were inside, eyes adjusting to the light difference. “Thanks, Ryan,” Bill said, placing a friendly kiss on Ryan’s cheek then going for the stairs. Ryan watched him disappear, listening to the door above open then shut. He stood frozen, listening, only moving after a few moments when the coast seemed clear and he didn’t hear any yelling or smashing items.
Ryan went to the living room where he found Brendon still asleep on the couch; the blanket completely off now. Smiling, Ryan went to his boyfriend (can he even call him that?) and patted his arm until Brendon woke, looking up sleepily. “Hey, Ry,” he muttered with a lazy smile.
“Move over,” Ryan said. Brendon yawned and obliged, straightening himself to make room for Ryan to lie alongside him. When Ryan did, Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan and nuzzled his face into Ryan’s shoulder.
“You’re warm…” he mumbled. “’n you’re wearin’ m’shirt,” he added with faint traces of laughter.
“Looks better on me,” Ryan joked, hugging Brendon back.
“Mmm,” Brendon hummed, “It does.”
Somehow, even with the sun filling the open space completely, Ryan managed to drift to sleep; wrapped up on the couch, feeling wanted and protected by Brendon’s embrace.
=-=-=-=-=
Somehow, regardless of an entire night’s sleep, Ryan managed to stay out until roughly noon; waking alone and absolutely refreshed on the couch. He glanced around sleepily for Brendon, unable to locate the younger man anywhere he could see. Where Brendon disappeared to this time was beyond Ryan, and how he managed to get away without waking Ryan, especially since Ryan was on top of him, was an even bigger mystery. For his sake though, Brendon better not have left the property, or Ryan was going to be pissed.
Pushing up from the couch, Ryan stumbled a bit as he found his balance, digging his palms into his eyes and heading for the kitchen. He still didn’t find Brendon, but sitting on a stool with a laptop was Gabe, redressed in fresh clothes and overall looking more relaxed. A smile crept over Ryan’s lips and he went to a stool beside the older man, sliding onto the seat and grabbing the counter to prevent falling off.
“Morning,” Ryan said in greeting, propping his head up on his elbows with his hands cupping his face.
“Afternoon,” Gabe answered with his own little smile, eyes not leaving the screen. Ryan couldn’t be bothered to invade his privacy and look to see what he was doing.
“Where’s Bill?” he asked before he realized it.
“Upstairs.” The reply was smooth and laid back. A good sign. “Probably’ll sleep all day.” Ryan hummed.
“What’re you doing for the day?” Ryan tried to keep the conversation going.
Gabe shrugged. “Mess around on this,” he said. “Might go downtown for a bit. Maybe even go bother Suarez.” Another shrug. “You?”
“No idea.” Ryan half frowned. “Have you seen Brendon around?”
“Nope,” Gabe said, but something about his voice and smile was unsettling. “You should probably go get dressed, though.” Gabe shut his laptop, tucking it under his arm and turning towards Ryan. “You never know who’ll show up or what you’ll be dragged into.” His eyes flashed quickly with what Ryan perceived as cynical amusement, smirking and standing. “Later, Ryan,” he said, heading for the front door.
Frowning, even more unsettled, Ryan got off the stool and went upstairs to get properly dressed just in case. It wasn’t like he was naked or overly exposed; though it was a little embarrassing to be in boxers. The bedroom door was shut so Ryan opened it slowly, looking inside and softly calling, “Brendon?” thinking he might be there. The room was just as empty, though, and Ryan went completely inside; disappointed.
However, a spark of excitement shot through Ryan’s gut when he noticed some clothes folded neatly on the bed with a note card baring his name resting on top. He went to the bed and picked the card up, the inside reading, wear these, in messy-neat handwriting. Ryan got even more confused by the two simple words, setting the small card aside and looking over the pile.
On top was a clean pair of Ryan’s boxers that he quickly exchanged for his current ones; a pair of khaki cargo pants beneath. They weren’t really something Ryan wore a lot, but he figured ‘what the hell’ because Brendon wanted him in them for a reason and they went just past his knees anyway. Last in the pile was a shirt; Ryan removing the one he had on to put on the new red-brown one.
On the blanket was another card that read, turn around.
Doing so, Ryan looked behind him to find Brendon leaning casually in the doorway, dressed in a similar fashion. “I’m glad it all fits,” he said, looking Ryan over. “You’re so skinny that I was wondering…”
“How long have you been there?” Ryan asked, brow knit.
“Not long,” Brendon answered. “Just long enough to see the good parts.” He grinned.
“Perv.” Ryan tried to be disgusted and offended, but was really fighting off a large smile. “Where were you?”
“Getting everything ready.”
“For what?” Ryan skeptically asked.
“For me to know,” Brendon pushed off the door’s molding and went to Ryan, “And for you to find out.”
“What’s with the outfit?”
“Stop asking questions,” Brendon said, slapping Ryan’s hand away as he pulled at the shirt for emphasis. “You’ll understand soon enough.”
“I’m to be some sacrifice, aren’t I?” Ryan joked, a tiny part of him actually fearful. A finger, at most.
“Of course.” Brendon kissed Ryan. “Gotta keep the gods happy for good weather and prime surfing,” he joked as well.
“But I’m not a virgin.” Ryan frowned.
“Virgins are so scarce now that I don’t think it matters anymore,” Brendon said with laughter. “We have to leave no though or we’ll be late,” he said, pulling back from Ryan.
“Late for what?”
“Told you; for me to know,” he suddenly put his arms around Ryan’s waist and lifted him up over his shoulder, “And for you to find out.” Brendon wrapped one arm around the back of Ryan’s knees to hold him.
“Brendon!” Ryan flailed, grabbing onto the bottom of Brendon’s shirt for support. “Put me down!”
“No,” the man answered, leaving the bedroom and pulling the door shut with his free arm. “Don’t think I will.”
“Brendon!” Ryan continued flailing until he realized where they were heading. “Don’t carry me downstairs!” he firmly stated, clutching Brendon’s shirt tighter. “Brendon!” It was higher than before.
“Stop moving or we’ll fall,” Brendon said, taking hold of the railing and descending the steps. Ryan squeaked lowly in the back of his throat, shutting his eyes and trying to stay as still as possible while Brendon carried him. When they reached the bottom, Brendon laughed, setting Ryan back on the ground.
“You scare way too easily,” he said, adjusting Ryan’s clothes. Ryan scowled and smacked Brendon’s hands away to do it himself. “I wasn’t going to drop you.”
“You still didn’t have to carry me,” Ryan grumbled with a half-scowl, half-pout. Brendon rolled his eyes and took hold of Ryan’s hand, leading him towards the front door. Half way through the living room, he stopped in front of a closet door, opening it and releasing Ryan’s hand to reach inside and pull out a couple pairs of hiking boots; handing one pair to Ryan.
“These should fit,” he said.
Ryan took the boots and looked at them questioningly. “And I need these…why?”
“Just put them on,” Brendon replied as he tugged his own pair on; tightly lacing them. Ryan obeyed and leaned back against the wall to keep his balance while he pulled the pair handed to him on, Brendon doing the laces for him. “How do they feel?” He looked up at Ryan from where he was kneeled on the ground.
Ryan shrugged. “Fine.”
“Good.” Brendon smiled, standing. “We’re all set then.” He closed the closet door and took Ryan’s hand again before he could open his mouth to protest. Brendon guided them outside where Ryan saw the jeep parked in front of the porch; the back holding a large backpack.
“Where are we going?” Ryan tried again, walking slowly down the steps. Brendon didn’t reply, rounding the vehicle and getting into the driver’s seat. Sighing, Ryan gave up and got into the other side, buckling up and only imagining what Brendon had in mind for them.
As soon as his belt clicked into place, Brendon started the vehicle and shifted into drive, pulling away from the house. Ryan shook his head to move the hair from his face as the wind rushed past them, shifting around in the seat to get comfortable. He didn’t know where they were going or how long it would take to get there, but judging by the large backpack behind him, Ryan didn’t think they’d be back any time soon.
“Already told Spencer we were going on a little trip so don’t worry about calling him.” Brendon told Ryan right as Ryan started thinking about doing just that. “Gabe knows too but left a note for Bill just in case.”
“Therefore I’m the only one still in the dark.”
“Basically.” Brendon smiled. “I think even Alex and Nate know by now.” Ryan really wasn’t that surprised and nodded, slouching down some. “You’re the only one who wasn’t supposed to know so I think it worked out.”
“Yay,” Ryan sarcastically muttered. He leaned forward to put on some music, crossing his arms after and enjoying the scenery.
=-=-=-=-=
“You’re going to get us lost again.” Ryan looked at the woods surrounding them. “And if you climb another tree and fall out, no one will be able to find us to help, and you’ll die.”
“You’re a little cynical.” Brendon commented while pulling the backpack from the jeep. Ryan shrugged, indifferent. “And we’re not going to get lost. I know exactly how to get to where we’re going.” He hauled the pack on and started doing up the straps around his body. “For the most part.”
“For the most part,” Ryan repeated in that sarcastic ‘uh huh’ kind of tone. “That means we’ll get lost and eventually die out here, lost in Hawaii. You’ll fall out of a tree and die a slow, painful death, unless you break your neck or I end your misery which we both know won’t happen.” Ryan leaned back against the jeep. “I’ll be sad and sit with your dead body, but after a few days, I’ll probably resort to cannibalism in attempt to stay alive, drinking any rainwater. Our remains will be found after some extended period of time, and some crappy investigation will ensue to figure out exactly how we died. Our friends will be left to bury whatever the cops hand over with at least the peace of mind of knowing what happened when we never returned.”
Brendon stood staring at Ryan, his face a little unbelieving and shocked. Ryan had spouted the entire scenario out in a serious, monotone voice; like it would actually happen. “Come on,” he said eventually, shaking his head. “We’re not going to die out here. But we have about an hour hike ahead of us so we need to get going.”
“What on earth is worth fighting our way through a jungle for an hour?”
Brendon headed for the trees. “You’ll see,” he called back, Ryan leaving the car and jogging a bit to catch up. “Just watch where you’re walking. Don’t want to trip on roots or step in a hole and break something.” Brendon warned, pushing some branches aside to reveal traces of a path-it hadn’t been kept up so nature had been reclaiming the land over the years.
“Wonderful,” Ryan muttered, stepping past Brendon and into the wooded area entirely; twigs snapping beneath his feet. Brendon followed him in, Ryan allowing him to lead the way. Brendon grabbed onto the straps of the backpack and started down the path, humming some tune lightly. Ryan sighed heavily and followed.
It was going to be a very long afternoon.
=-=-=-=-=
“Don’t you have to work today?” Ryan asked as the two moved deeper into the woods.
“I did,” Brendon replied, about a yard ahead. “But I told them I wasn’t coming in.” He glanced back at Ryan with a smile. “I’d rather spend the day with my boyfriend instead of a bunch of random strangers.”
“You know,” Ryan stepped over a large protruding root, “I’m still kind of a stranger. So you’re still spending the day with one.”
“Well that makes me a stranger too.” Brendon stopped to push a low branch out of the way. “And yet, you trust me.” He smirked. Ryan walked past him with a frown, smiling as soon as Brendon was out of his peripheral view.
“How much longer?” Ryan asked when Brendon took the lead again.
“Awhile,” he said, going back to humming. Ryan groaned and tipped his head back, nearly dragging his feet along.
=-=-=-=-=
“I’m tired of walking,” Ryan whined, a good distance behind Brendon now.
“We’re almost there,” Brendon called back.
“That’s what you said forever ago!” Ryan exhaled loudly.
“Just keep walking.” Brendon ordered. Ryan let out a long frustrated noise, but kept walking regardless.
=-=-=-=-=
In the end, the long walk really was worth it. Ryan was about ready to give up and sit down, they’d been walking for at least an hour and a half, when Brendon pushed some bushes out of the way for Ryan; Ryan stepping into a possible Heaven.
Facing Ryan was a rather large waterfall dumping water into a pool below. There were flowers and trees and birds and butterflies and Ryan was frozen in spot, staring, for what felt like years. “Told you,” Brendon sing-sang while joining Ryan in the open-enclosed space. “One of Hawaii’s many hidden splendors.” He stood next to Ryan, starting to undo the straps of the backpack.
“Bren…” Ryan barely found his voice. “This…this is…amazing…” he pretty much whispered, taking a few steps forward.
“Mhmm,” Brendon hummed, sliding the backpack off to free his back of the weight and setting it on the ground. Ryan paid no attention to what Brendon started to do and started walking around, taking in all the bright and beautiful sights. The birds were high up in the trees surrounding them all around, but still visible, and for a moment, Ryan tried to see how many different types of birds he could detect; doing the same with the butterflies hovering around the flowers.
The sound of the waterfall crashing down filled the air, but it was a peaceful noise. Ryan walked closer to the water and looked in; the view so crystal clear that he could see the bottom the entire way up to the meeting point of the waterfall and the pool. A few colorful fish swam lazily around, stopping in one place a few moments then heading in a new direction. There were a few small schools that moved in sync, mesmerizing Ryan as they swam.
When Ryan turned around, he saw Brendon had laid a blanket out and was setting containers of food out on it as he pulled them from the backpack. Ryan couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a picnic, it had to be a good fifteen years at least, and he got a tiny bit excited as he returned to the man; sitting at the edge of the blanket on his knees. "This is all just...wow..."
Brendon looked up from what he was doing, lips curved in a sincere smile. "I thought you'd like it," he said, tugging out some soda to top it all off. "And in my defense," he gave one towards Ryan, "Alex cooked everything." Ryan laughed, a true laugh, and set the bottle aside. "So you won't die or anything."
"I doubt you're that bad of a chef." Ryan commented. You're perfect at everything, he thought.
Brendon scoffed, nodding. "I actually am. I can't even manage a bowl of cereal." Ryan laughed more. "Why do you think I'm such good friends with Nalex? Without them, I'd waste away," he joked.
"It's their job," Ryan said in Brendon's defense.
"Exactly." Brendon agreed with a determined face. He reached to the side and plucked one of the brightly colored flowers, handing it to Ryan and saying, "I'm really glad you came to Hawaii." Ryan accepted the flower, face tinted with blush, laying it down beside him.
"Yeah," he agreed, receiving a paper plate next, "Me too."
=-=-=-=-=
“Brendon-what’re you doing?” Ryan asked when Brendon picked him up again. “Put me down!” he demanded as Brendon started towards the water. “I mean it, Brendon!” Brendon blew his hair from his face. “Put me down right now!”
“Okay.” Ryan barely registered the response when Brendon threw Ryan backwards into the water. Ryan hard the large splash before he realized he was submerged beneath the semi-cold water, finding the ground and raising his head above water to breathe. He coughed and rubbed his eyes, pushing his matted bangs aside to see. “You told me to put you down.” Brendon laughed from the bank.
“I,” Ryan coughed some more, pointing at Brendon, “Hate you.” Brendon laughed harder. “I’m all….wet, now!” he gestured to himself.
“I try.” Brendon smirked. He composed himself and brushed his eyes, reaching down and taking hold of the ends of his shirt; lifting it over his head and dropping it to the side. Removing his shoes after, Brendon took a few steps back then ran forward and dove into the pool, water flying at Ryan in a furious spray.
Ryan stumbled backwards, wiping his eyes again. He looked around once his vision was clear to find Brendon, unable to locate him. Confused, Ryan turned around to look behind him when he felt something wrap around his waist, causing Ryan to jump. Brendon popped above the water, holding onto Ryan, grinning. “Don’t,” Ryan put a hand over his heart, “Do that!”
“You’re too jumpy,” Brendon said, pushing his lips against Ryan’s, water trailing down his face. “And overdressed.” Brendon released Ryan’s waist to find the bottom of the heavy cloth clinging to Ryan’s body, pulling it up over Ryan’s head and tugging it completely off. Ryan felt instantly lighter as Brendon threw the drenched shirt back to the land, though he didn’t like being completely bare-chested either.
Ryan was pale, thin, and flat. Brendon was tan, muscular, and gorgeous. Thin and pale versus ripped and tan. It wasn’t much of comparison.
“Next,” Brendon said, moving Ryan towards the nearest bank and hauling him from the water to sit him on the edge. He unlaced the boots and yanked them off Ryan’s feet, the socks following, setting them aside so Ryan was left in only the shorts like Brendon. Putting his hands on Ryan’s hips, Brendon pulled Ryan back down, Ryan placing his hands on Brendon’s shoulders for stability as he ended up back in the water.
“Much better.” Brendon smiled as Ryan’s bare feet found the muddy bottom. He held Ryan for a few minutes, the contrast in temperature of Brendon’s body and the water relaxing to Ryan, before Brendon started moving towards the down-pouring water a few yards away.
“Now what’re we doing?” Ryan asked, having to speak over the splashing water that sprayed them in a light mist.
“They say the waterfall is magical,” Brendon answered, equally as loud. “That you go beneath the fall and make a wish and it will come true.” Ryan tried not to give Brendon a disbelieving look. “But only one wish a year is granted.”
“How do you now this year’s hasn’t?”
“Not too many people know about this place.” Brendon’s grin grew. “And only someone with a pure wish will get it granted.”
“Pure wish?” Ryan stopped. Any closer and they wouldn’t be able to hear each other at all. Not to mention the water was getting deeper.
“You know, someone who wishes for wealth or fame is just being greedy and materialistic,” Brendon replied. “Only someone who wishes for something with value and meaning, something they want with all their heart, will get it.”
“You’re weird,” Ryan said, smiling nonetheless. It sounded nice, but Ryan wasn’t five anymore either. There was no such thing as magic. Brendon shrugged, still grinning madly, letting go of Ryan’s hand.
“Make a wish!”
“I’m not going under that.” Ryan huffed. He’d cross his arms if he wasn’t using them to keep his balance.
“It’s not that bad.” Brendon rolled his eyes playfully. Ryan shook his head regardless. “Come on, Ryan. There has to be something you want with all your heart!” Again Ryan shook his head. Really, Ryan couldn’t think of anything he wanted that badly. Not purely, at least.
“You do it,” Ryan said, “You make a wish.”
“I already have what I want.” The smile was there, but the tone of voice told the truth. “Think of it as getting baptized.”
“I’m not going under there.” He firmly repeated. Brendon frowned, giving in and closing the distance between them. Now, Ryan should have known better. He should have known better than to let Brendon get that close, especially with that twinkle in his brown eyes, but he didn’t.
So when Brendon shoved Ryan beneath the water, Ryan barely able to take a breath in time, it was Ryan’s fault.
For a minute Ryan couldn’t move. He was caught up in the motion of the water that was beating down on his bare skin, colors flashing behind his eyes. Brendon grabbed Ryan’s arm a moment later though and pulled him back, holding Ryan up above the water as he coughed it out and practically gasped for breath.
“You okay?” Brendon asked, Ryan clutching onto him for dear life.
“Why…why would you do that?!” Ryan was considerably angry. His lungs burned. “I told you I didn’t…” he couldn’t finish the sentence as he coughed more, trying not to hack all over Brendon in the process.
“Hey, calm down.” Brendon’s voice was genuine. “You’re fine; I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.” He removed his grip from one of Ryan’s arms to stroke his hair back. “If it was dangerous, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“But I told you ‘no’!” Ryan stressed, coughing a bit more. He tried to pull away from Brendon, shaking from the adrenaline. All he could think about for a minute was Pete. So many times Ryan would tell Pete ‘no’ for one reason or another, but Pete would do it anyway. Ryan wasn’t with Pete anymore. He didn’t want that anymore.
“Ryan;” Brendon held onto Ryan. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He frowned. Ryan didn’t know if it was water or tears sliding down his cheeks as he fought the urge to look back at Brendon, not the least bit amused. Neither was Brendon anymore. “I wouldn’t-I won’t-let something happen to you, Ryan,” Brendon said wholeheartedly.
Ryan believed him, but he was still angry. “I told you no…” he almost whispered, giving up trying to get away.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Brendon pulled Ryan closer. “I shouldn’t have made you do it.” He kissed Ryan’s head then pressed their chests together, holding Ryan close. Ryan felt his body relax some and his heart slow, eyes shutting. “Can you forgive me?” Ryan felt the words rather than hear them.
Silently, Ryan nodded. Brendon wasn’t Pete, he reminded himself. Brendon was better. Brendon actually cared about Ryan and wouldn’t let anything happen to him intentionally. Ryan knew that, and he could forgive Brendon. It wasn’t like Brendon meant for Ryan to get freaked out. It was a little push, a joke, if you will, and Ryan was fine.
Brendon made sure of that.
“I really hate water,” Ryan muttered after a few minutes, gradually getting back to homeostasis.
Brendon laughed, kissing the top of Ryan’s head, and squeezing him reassuringly as he exhaled, “Then lets get out,” slowly moving towards the bank and helping Ryan back to dry, solid ground.
=-=-=-=-=
“Answer it already.” Ryan sighed, tired of hearing the constant ring of Brendon’s cellphone.
“Whoever it is can wait,” Brendon said, leaning down to kiss Ryan some more as he straddled him. Ryan wore the shirt Brendon had taken off earlier and only the boxers, lying on the grass in a beam of warm sunlight that fell into the enclosed space.
“Just answer it.” Ryan turned his head to the side and pushed at Ryan’s chest until he sat up. Brendon made a frustrated noise and moved to the side, standing then going to the backpack where he had put their phones. He yanked the zipper back and extracted the ringing device, glancing briefly at the screen then back to Ryan. “Well?” Ryan turned onto the side, propping his head on his elbow.
Brendon looked towards the water then drew his arm back, taking a step forward and pelting his phone at the fall. It flipped around in circles, the ring fading out as it slammed into the water and disappeared. “There.” Brendon was smugly proud, brushing his hands together.
Ryan gave him an incredulous look. “That was a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”
“It was interrupting our time.”
“You could have turned it off…” Ryan glance at the spot the phone disappeared in.
“I needed a new one anyway.” Brendon shrugged, returning to Ryan. “Now,” Brendon used his foot to push Ryan onto his back, dropping to his knees, “Where were we?” he captured Ryan’s lips in another kiss.
=-=-=-=-=
Ryan sat on the edge of the bank, feet in the water, watching the fish cautiously approach before jetting away. The sun was starting to set behind the trees, giving everything a warm glow; including Brendon.
The Hawaiian was back in the water, floating around lazily on his back, humming the same tune he had hummed to Ryan a few nights prior. For the most part, Ryan paid no attention to him, but when he wandered into a beam of sunlight, Ryan kicked at the cold water to control himself. The golden light bathing Brendon’s skin…the light making the droplets of water on those amazing abs sparkling like stars…Ryan had to practically beat himself down.
“What’re you going to do when you get back to Vegas?” Brendon casually asked, using his arms to move himself around.
“Go back to work.” Ryan shrugged, staring at his feet. “There’re a few more weeks of summer school. Then the normal term starts again.”
“What grade do you teach?” It was clear to Ryan that Brendon was avoiding the actual fact that Ryan was leaving, and Ryan was thankful.
“During the summer it depends.” Ryan moved his feet, scaring the fish. “But normally, tenth and eleventh.”
“Is it hard?” Brendon looked at Ryan as he drifted by.
“Not really.” Ryan looked back. “Some kids don’t do the work, but overall I’ve never had many problems. I like it.”
“There’re schools here too…” Brendon mumbled, thinking Ryan couldn’t hear. He did, though.
“What about you?” Ryan leaned back on his arms. “What’s your typical day like?”
“Every day’s different.” Brendon answered. “I work mornings then spend my afternoons either at the diner or on the water. Then one weekend a month I have Mia, which pretty much goes the same each time.”
“Then when Bill’s here…” Brendon laughed.
“I don’t think I’ll be seeing much of Bill anymore.” Brendon’s face looked happy, but beneath the laugh his voice was anything but.
“Why?” Ryan’s eyebrows pulled together in complete confusion. Brendon and William were best friends.
“One, Travis is back. When Bill comes to visit, that’s who he’ll be with.” Brendon stared at the sky. “Two, he wants to fix things with Gabe. Since Gabe doesn’t care much for Hawaii, Bill will give up coming here more than once or twice a year to make Gabe happy.”
“He wouldn’t-“
“I know him, Ryan.” Brendon cut Ryan off. “Ever since they met, William’s been all about pleasing Gabe. There’re some things he’ll stand up to, but not much.” Ryan frowned hard. He didn’t believe that Bill would give up an almost lifelong friendship for a deranged relationship.
“Why don’t you go visit him?” Ryan suggested after a few minutes silence.
“Hawaii is more my element.” Brendon paused a few feet from Ryan and stood up, turning to face him. “It’s no big deal, Ryan.” He smiled; fake. “I’m used to being alone. I get by just fine.” Brendon shook his hair out then headed for the bank, climbing from the water and heading towards the backpack.
Ryan watched him, studying him, noting how tense and upset Brendon truly was. He still couldn’t believe that William wouldn’t come visit Brendon all the time, but Brendon was right - Ryan didn’t know Bill like Brendon did.
Brendon slipped off the wet shorts, left only in the wet boxers, then sat down in the grass and laid back; arms folded behind his head and staring thoughtfully at the sky. Silently sighing, Ryan went back to staring at the water before him which moved now only with the rush of the fall. He kept still so the fish would approach again, wishing he could reach down and touch them.
Ryan had a wish now, but wasn’t going anywhere near that waterfall.
=-=-=-=-=
The sky was dark, filled with stars looking down at them. By this point, the waterfall was just an every day kind of noise to Ryan, and he forgot it was even there. He laid on his back on top the blanket they had eaten on earlier, arms folded behind his head, mirroring the position Brendon had held hours before. "That's the north star," Ryan said, pointing towards one of the bright balls.
"No way," Brendon said, disbelieving.
"It totally is!" Ryan scoffed, arm returning to be part of his pillow.
"It can't be!" Brendon continued to object. "That's south. The north star is north. Hence it's name."
"How do you know that's south?" Ryan turned his head towards Brendon, barely able to make out his features in the darkness.
"It's my job to know directions." Brendon replied, Ryan knowing there was an eye roll too. "That's south."
"You don't even know where I pointed." Ryan stuck his tongue out. "And if you're so good with directions, how come we got lost the other day in the woods by your house?"
"That's irrelevant."
"How is it irrelevant?" Ryan started laughing. "If you know directions, we wouldn't have gotten lost. But we did, so maybe you suck at your job."
"Or maybe," Brendon was suddenly over Ryan, "I just wanted some alone time." He started poking Ryan's stomach, making Ryan laugh harder and try to hit his hands away with breathless protests of, 'stop!' Brendon continued though, purposely tickling Ryan to make him flail and laugh and even start crying from laughing so hard.
Ryan managed to finally shove Brendon off, curling onto his side and clutching his abdomen, still laughing. Brendon laughed beside him, on his side facing Ryan. It took a few minutes for Ryan to stop, having to regulate his breathing and stop the tears from sliding out. His abdomen hurt, but he didn't much mind, releasing his stomach to dig the heel of his palm into his eyes.
"I'd keep you forever, if I could," Brendon quietly said once the atmosphere was settled again, reaching over to Ryan and pushing his hair back behind his head. "But," he exhaled a large breath, "I can't." The pain in Ryan's stomach turned to nausea.
Brendon put his arm around Ryan and tugged him closer, molding their bodies together. "At least you're mine for one more day," he mumbled, pressing his face into Ryan's hair.
"Brendon?" Ryan settled his head on Brendon's shoulder, placing one hand over Brendon's heart.
"Hmm?" Brendon hummed, intertwining their legs.
"Will you sing me a song?" He felt like a little child, but he really didn't care.
"Like what?" Brendon asked, not denying Ryan's request.
"Whatever you want." Ryan didn't really care. He just wanted to hear Brendon's voice.
Brendon thought for a moment, but eventually started something very quietly, Ryan feeling the words more than hearing them. He let his eyes fall shut, focusing solely on the vibrations of Brendon's chest and the warmth of Brendon's body pressed close to his. Somewhere around the words, "I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home," Ryan lost the ability to stay awake.
Next
A/N--- Had to get back to the main characters, you know? xD
Anyway, I looked at the results of our Gabe vs. Travis poll. It was a heated battle. But when one of them suddenly shot considerably above the other, and this poll has been out for a bit, I realized I don't know if I can actually call it valid. I know some of you made accounts just to vote, and I don't like that :(
So I know what I'm going to do with next chapter--it's what I thought I was going to do with it before I even asked.
only 2 more chapters left (thank God)
and then the epilogue, that will be at least 2 parts. Maybe more. But it'll all be posted at once.
I had an amazing time at TFFL and can't wait for an opportunity to meet Cobra again to redeem myself 'cause I was a nervous mess xD
Who excited for Travie's album?! -raises hand-
xoxo Tabi
ps--- anyone else laugh at Brendon promoting TYV on Panic's site? It might just be me, but I imagine him writing that with a clenched jaw. Like, he was made to do it... xD
Also, if you ever have a question for me, ask Here; and don't forget to follow me on twitter if you have one (Here) 'cause I talk about my stories a lot :)
Author: ipanicdaily
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Pete (past), Gabe/Will, Nate/Alex
POV: 3rd; Ryan-centric.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone/anything other than the plot. The title belongs to the band Hellogoodbye.
Summary: “Hawaii is more my element.” Brendon paused a few feet from Ryan and stood up, turning to face him. “It’s no big deal, Ryan.” He smiled; fake. “I’m used to being alone. I get by just fine.” Brendon shook his hair out then headed for the bank, climbing from the water and heading towards the backpack.
Warning: Man/man, language, sex, angst; more to come probably.
Beta: ashxisxrad
Author Notes: Holy crap did this take awhile. It was like pulling teeth, I swear...
Past Parts: Prologue ♥ Day One ♥ Day Two ♥ Day Three ♥ Day Four ♥ Day five ♥ Day Six ♥ Day Seven ♥ Day Eight ♥ Day Nine ♥ Day Ten ♥ Day Eleven
Day Twelve
Ryan wasn’t all that surprised to wake up alone the next morning. Disappointed, yeah, he was hoping that Brendon would leave William and come upstairs, but he honestly didn’t expect it was going to happen. Still, when he opened his eyes to discover half the bed just as cold and empty as it was when he went to sleep, Ryan couldn’t help but sigh miserably into the pillow. He wanted to be selfish and have Brendon all to himself though he knew that maybe William needed him a bit more. Maybe.
For probably ten or so minutes Ryan laid there, twisted in the sheets, staring at the beam of warm light that slipped in through the joining points of the curtains over the balcony doors. The house was silent, it was pretty early by Ryan’s guess, and the momentum to leave the bed wasn’t terribly strong. He was comfortable and warm and had little reason to get up and do anything.
One such reason being the increasing urge to pee. Ryan was able to ignore it for awhile, but it didn’t take long for the pressure on his bladder to become unbearable and force him from his bliss to the bathroom like practically every morning. It was nice that there was a bathroom about ten or so feet from the bed because Ryan was lazy and waited until he absolutely couldn’t hold it any longer.
After he was done, Ryan went to the dresser where his clothes were, yanking the top drawer open. Brendon had given Ryan his own drawer, it was one of the middle ones, but it was too early to think straight and all Ryan wanted was a shirt. He hated exposing his overly thin body. Ryan grabbed the first shirt he saw and slid it on, not caring whose it was, because it fit him just fine. The color was brighter than Ryan would normally wear, namely because it was yellow, but Ryan wasn’t too concerned about that at the moment either.
Ryan opened the bedroom door with every intention of going downstairs to see if Brendon or anyone else was up yet, when he looked to that same closed door where Gabe was hiding. Curiosity, being the bitch it was, took control and, before he knew it, Ryan was tip-toeing across the floor to it. He was curious to see what Gabe was doing, he figured still sleeping, since he hadn’t seen or heard the man since the previous afternoon.
Upon reaching the door, Ryan pressed the side of his head flat against the wood, listening for any sounds within. All he got was silence though, and Ryan quickly found his hand on the doorknob, twisting it with a soft click, and pushing it open just enough to look inside.
The room was dimly lit; the curtain on the window having been left open. A burst of cool air hit Ryan from a fan or air conditioner blowing into the room, and Ryan involuntarily shivered. Sliding halfway inside, Ryan saw Gabe lying diagonally across the large bed on his stomach; fully clothed. He was on top of all the blankets, Ryan guessed he just passed out, with the smell of alcohol filling the air. That wasn’t much of a surprise.
The thing that surprised Ryan was wrapped tightly in Gabe’s arm, pulled firm against his body, was a teddy bear; dressed in what he made out to be a skeleton costume. Ryan wanted to laugh, so he bit his tongue to keep silent-not wanting to wake Gabe. He never imagined Gabe as the loving-stuffed-animals type, to each their own, and found the sight as amusing. The expression on Gabe’s face was sad, pained even, and the amusement on Ryan’s face died.
Perhaps he was thinking about William. And the bear could be a reminder of his cuddly boyfriend.
Or, maybe, Ryan’s just looking into this way too much. Frowning himself, Ryan backed from the room and pulled the door shut again, inhaling clean air. Ryan felt bad for Gabe, worried about him some, but in a way, the older man deserved to feel regret and hurt and other emotional pains. While Ryan didn’t know the whole story, he knew quite a bit. Gabe didn’t need to treat William so harshly for being good friends with Travis-even if the two had a history. He deserved to feel what he made William feel.
This time, Ryan did go downstairs, bypassing the kitchen and heading straight for the living room. The television had been turned off, the light too, and only the sound of soft snoring filled the large space. Ryan found his boyfriend passed out on the couch; falling half over the edge. Brendon’s left arm dangled to the ground, his face barely on the cushion, and his feet over the arm in what Ryan imagined to be a very uncomfortable angle. A blanket hardly covered him, it too slipping off, exposing some of Brendon’s lower back where his shirt slid up.
William was nowhere in sight.
A smile and a giggle escaped Ryan, a hand lifting to cover his mouth before he went into full blown laughter. He didn’t want to wake Brendon-especially since that could end badly in several ways. What he wanted was a camera because it was definitely a Kodak moment. Something Ryan would frame and keep forever to look at whenever he needed a pick-me-up. He’d frame and keep Brendon forever if he could too.
Ryan stood staring, secretly wanting Brendon to fall just to get a good laugh, until a warm breeze tickled his skin and moved his eyes from Brendon to the backdoor that was cracked open a tiny bit. Leaving Brendon to sleep, Ryan left the living room to go to the door. The sun was starting to get brighter, the ocean down below sparkling invitingly and drawing down to it.
Walking the warped path down to Brendon’s private section of beach, Ryan saw a figure sitting close to the water’s edge. As he drew closer, he realized it was William, that made perfect sense, and Ryan walked faster towards him. William had his knees pulled to his chest, chin resting on top, and arms wrapped tightly around them. He stared out into the ocean, waves slipping up and crashing right beneath the tips of his bare toes in a calm, soothing rhythm.
At the end of the semi-paved walkway, Ryan veered into the mix of grass and sand, feet sinking in the moveable ground with grains of sand poking the skin between his toes. He debated calling out to the man, but William looked lost in thought so Ryan decided to just remain quiet and move in strides. Ryan was sure that William knew he was there as he got a few feet away, though he made no acknowledgments to Ryan’s presence. Accepting that William probably just wanted silence, Ryan sat himself beside the other man and mirrored his position, staring out at a sail boat in the distance.
A warm breeze swirled around them, teasing Ryan’s hair and making William’s look like butterflies floating around his face. Ryan watched the little white sail move around for a few minutes before he got bored and moved his focus to the water stretching up to his feet instead. He smiled in amusement when the water fell just shy of touching him because it was a game, and he was winning.
The sun kept getting warmer and higher, making the land brighter and brighter. The rays reflected off the ocean to make it sparkle, looking somewhat like a twisted disco ball. Seagulls squawked and flew overhead, searching for any edible morsel they could scavenge to eat. Ryan watched one of the winged rats circle around, stupidly thinking he had food, only to abandon them after a few minutes to try somewhere else. Another bird came down to the beach and walked around, a safe distance from Ryan, trying to find maybe a hidden scrap the others missed.
Ryan practically forgot William was there until he finally spoke; all the sights and sounds around him having taken his mind somewhere else. “I understand if you’re mad at me too,” came the quiet, tired voice from Ryan’s left.
Confused, Ryan turned his head to find William still staring into the distance; eyes red and worn. “Huh?”
“Last night.” Bill’s lips barely moved. “I kept Brendon from you. I understand if you’re mad,” he clarified.
“I’m not mad,” Ryan said simply. “You needed a friend. Brendon’s your best friend.” Ryan frowned.
“I was selfish,” William said back. Silently, Ryan agreed. But then again, he was selfish too. “We didn’t even do anything. Just sat there. He fell asleep around two.” He sighed. “I couldn’t sleep though. No matter how hard I tried,” he mumbled.
“I fell asleep really quick.” Ryan shrugged. “I woke up probably a half hour ago. Bren’s still asleep.”
“If I wasn’t such a fucking mess you would have had Brendon like you were supposed to.” Ryan frowned harder. William’s face was a mix of anger, exhaustion, and pain. “I don’t mean to keep ruining your vacation.”
“You’re not ruining my vacation.” Ryan told him, lost to what he could do to help make William feel better. “I’ve been in shittier situations.”
“Then a fucked up love battle?” Bill humorlessly laughed. “Leave it to me, though, to make myself the center of it all.” He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his face to his knees. Hesitantly, Ryan reached over and rubbed William’s shoulder gently, hoping it might help. He really didn’t want William to start crying because he hated watching people cry, and he couldn’t just abandon William there because that’d be rude and probably upset him more.
“It’s a really nice day,” Ryan said in a failed attempt to distract the other man. William’s shoulder shook momentarily with dry laughter, his head lifting as he wiped away a few tears to Ryan’s displeasure. Ryan lowered his hand as William recomposed himself, going back to staring into the distance.
“Hey Ryan; can I ask you a personal question?” William turned his head to look at Ryan with puffy tear-glazed brown eyes. He reminded Ryan of a hungry, lost puppy.
“Sure, I guess.” Ryan shrugged.
“I know it didn’t exactly work out like you had hoped,” he bit his lip momentarily, “but when…when did you know that you wanted to marry Pete?” The question took Ryan completely by surprise and he just stared, wide eyed, only making William’s mood worsen. “Sorry,” he sighed, dropping his shoulders, “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s personal.”
“No-no, it’s okay.” Ryan came back to reality. “I just…wasn’t expecting it, is all,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I knew when…” Truth was, Ryan never really thought about it. He asked Pete to marry him as a spontaneous decision-a way to keep Pete for himself. However, that wasn’t the only reason. He couldn’t tell William that, though, because that seemed desperate, obsessive, and heartless; none of which William needed right now.
Ryan inhaled deeply. “I guess I knew naturally. We had been dating a few years, living together…” Ryan stared down at the sand around him. “I loved him. Apparently it was just one sided, though, you know?” William nodded, expression thoughtful. “In some way, I’ll always love him,” Ryan mumbled.
“I know what that’s like,” Bill dryly laughed. He turned his head straight towards the horizon again. “I was so, so mad at Travie when he stopped talking to me those few years. I thought he was dead at one point and I felt like a piece of myself died.” He shook his head. “Then yesterday when he showed up at the diner, I…” William sucked his lips in, tears pooling in his eyes. “I felt this warm wave wash over me-like all my worries and pains were momentarily nonexistent.” Ryan smiled; it was a bit cheesy.
“Don’t get me wrong; I was, I am, pissed at him for doing that to me.” Bill brushed his eyes quickly. “But I feel so torn now. I’m sure by now you know that Travie and I dated,” Ryan felt his cheeks warm, “and I’m not saying that I want that again, I love Gabe, but I can’t completely cut Travie out of my life like Gabe wants. Especially since I just got him back.” He exhaled miserably. “They’re the two most important people in my life, beside Bren, and they’re constantly at each other’s throats.” A tear rolled down his cheek slowly. “I can’t stand it,” Bill whispered.
Ryan opened his mouth, but didn’t want anything stupid to come out, and shut it again. Feeling the need to do something, Ryan put his arm around William’s shoulders. Almost instantly, William leaned over against Ryan and laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder, shaking a bit. No doubt from being worked up and so exhausted.
Silence fell over them, Ryan absently rubbing William’s arm while watching boats in the distance. After about ten minutes, William sniffled and shifted around, not leaving Ryan’s semi-embrace. “I feel so pathetic right now.” Ryan frowned. “Stuck in some shitty love triangle. Angle, actually, since not all sides would connect. Hopelessly in love with two men who hate each other, and I can’t give either up.”
“Have you…thought about who might…you know, be your ‘soul mate’ or whatever?” There were reasons Ryan wasn’t one to offer advice. That was a prime example. “I don’t know much about either, but it seems like Gabe is very…physical…” Ryan tried to speak carefully. He didn’t want to anger William either.
“Gabe…Gabe is complicated, I guess, for lack of better words.” More dry laughter. “Yeah, he is very physical. He loves to drink and party and act like a teenager whenever he possibly can. We fight, we argue, we say things to each other that we don’t really mean. He’s slept around with people he’s met in clubs, and I’ve done the same to him.” Bill trucked some hair back behind his ear.
“But it’s not all bad. I love Gabe, and I know he loves me. When I’m sick or sad, he’s right there beside me to get me anything I need and do whatever he can think of to make me feel better.” A smile came over his softening face. “And he may not seem like it, but he can be really romantic and sweet when he wants to be. One time, he flooded the studio where I work with dozens of red roses and only a small white card reading ‘Because You’re Beautiful’ without it being some holiday or anything.” A few more tears ran down William’s face.
“And Travie…” Bill continued. “Some of my best memories are with him. He’s always been someone I’ve looked up to-he was this cute older boy from New York that wore baggy clothes and listened to rap music. He was different; interesting. And he was so quiet, but so incredibly nice once you got to know him.” Ryan listened diligently as William unraveled in his arm. The sun was very warm now, hurting Ryan’s eyes with its brightness.
“Travie may have been my first, but he was everything I imagined. Not once did he ever try to do something to make me uncomfortable or upset. We never argued or even disagreed, for that matter.” Ryan just continued rubbing William’s arm, focusing half on the man’s words, and half on the boats far out soaring by. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about what William was saying, it was more that Ryan wasn’t some Dr. Phil or anything and tended to avoid people’s personal problems.
“I think a lot of that was what drove me to Gabe. Travie was perfect, but he was too perfect, you know? I craved that ‘normal’ relationship-kind of what I have with Gabe now.” He brushed another escaped tear away. “But most of all, the closer Travie and I got as a couple, the more afraid I got of losing him. I was terrified that something would force us apart and I would lose him as a friend too and I…I couldn’t deal with that. So I ended it before it became a problem.”
“It’ll all work out, Bill,” Ryan mumbled with as much encouragement he could muster. The man really had a valid problem. Ryan could tell by William’s tone that he was incredibly in love with both Travis and Gabe, and felt bad that William was torn by his feelings.
“Fuck; I’m sorry, Ryan.” William laughed lightly and sat up. “You’re supposed to be having a good time and here I am dumping all my problems on you.” He dug his palms into his eyes, a fake smile forced on his lips.
“I don’t mind,” Ryan half lied. He didn’t want to get tangled in the situation, but he wanted to help make William feel better too. The man was nothing but kind to him, and pretty much everyone else in the world too. He deserve this pain.
“Thanks, but I know you don’t want to listen to my shit.” Another laugh. “I hate how everyone thinks my relationship with Gabe is their business, yet I can’t keep my mouth from running.”
“You want to know what I think?” The words came out before Ryan could stop them.
“Sure; why not.” Bill chuckled. “Everyone else has offered their opinions.”
“I think you need to go talk to Gabe,” Ryan said. “Sit him down and tell him how you feel. That you do love Travis and you’re going to remain friends with him, but that you love Gabe too and that’s not going to change.” Confidence like this was rare for Ryan. “Then, one of two things will happen. Gabe will accept that and you two will get over this and be just fine, or, the less desired option, Gabe won’t accept that you’re not giving Travis up and you’ll go your separate ways; hopefully still as friends.”
William looked at Ryan carefully, studying him, a real smile replacing the fake ones. “You’re right.” He nodded. “We leave in two days, right? I have to deal with this.” Bill took a deep breath. “I have to talk to Gabe. I’ve ignored him long enough already, anyway.” He laughed more.
William stood up, reaching down to offer a hand to Ryan and help him up. Ryan brushed the sand away, straightening his clothes. William did the same and tucked his long hair back out of his face, hugging himself and leading the way back to the house. The path was warm, stinging Ryan’s bare feet, making him walk at a quickened pace.
The wood inside was fortunately a cool relief. Ryan closed the door once they both were inside, eyes adjusting to the light difference. “Thanks, Ryan,” Bill said, placing a friendly kiss on Ryan’s cheek then going for the stairs. Ryan watched him disappear, listening to the door above open then shut. He stood frozen, listening, only moving after a few moments when the coast seemed clear and he didn’t hear any yelling or smashing items.
Ryan went to the living room where he found Brendon still asleep on the couch; the blanket completely off now. Smiling, Ryan went to his boyfriend (can he even call him that?) and patted his arm until Brendon woke, looking up sleepily. “Hey, Ry,” he muttered with a lazy smile.
“Move over,” Ryan said. Brendon yawned and obliged, straightening himself to make room for Ryan to lie alongside him. When Ryan did, Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan and nuzzled his face into Ryan’s shoulder.
“You’re warm…” he mumbled. “’n you’re wearin’ m’shirt,” he added with faint traces of laughter.
“Looks better on me,” Ryan joked, hugging Brendon back.
“Mmm,” Brendon hummed, “It does.”
Somehow, even with the sun filling the open space completely, Ryan managed to drift to sleep; wrapped up on the couch, feeling wanted and protected by Brendon’s embrace.
=-=-=-=-=
Somehow, regardless of an entire night’s sleep, Ryan managed to stay out until roughly noon; waking alone and absolutely refreshed on the couch. He glanced around sleepily for Brendon, unable to locate the younger man anywhere he could see. Where Brendon disappeared to this time was beyond Ryan, and how he managed to get away without waking Ryan, especially since Ryan was on top of him, was an even bigger mystery. For his sake though, Brendon better not have left the property, or Ryan was going to be pissed.
Pushing up from the couch, Ryan stumbled a bit as he found his balance, digging his palms into his eyes and heading for the kitchen. He still didn’t find Brendon, but sitting on a stool with a laptop was Gabe, redressed in fresh clothes and overall looking more relaxed. A smile crept over Ryan’s lips and he went to a stool beside the older man, sliding onto the seat and grabbing the counter to prevent falling off.
“Morning,” Ryan said in greeting, propping his head up on his elbows with his hands cupping his face.
“Afternoon,” Gabe answered with his own little smile, eyes not leaving the screen. Ryan couldn’t be bothered to invade his privacy and look to see what he was doing.
“Where’s Bill?” he asked before he realized it.
“Upstairs.” The reply was smooth and laid back. A good sign. “Probably’ll sleep all day.” Ryan hummed.
“What’re you doing for the day?” Ryan tried to keep the conversation going.
Gabe shrugged. “Mess around on this,” he said. “Might go downtown for a bit. Maybe even go bother Suarez.” Another shrug. “You?”
“No idea.” Ryan half frowned. “Have you seen Brendon around?”
“Nope,” Gabe said, but something about his voice and smile was unsettling. “You should probably go get dressed, though.” Gabe shut his laptop, tucking it under his arm and turning towards Ryan. “You never know who’ll show up or what you’ll be dragged into.” His eyes flashed quickly with what Ryan perceived as cynical amusement, smirking and standing. “Later, Ryan,” he said, heading for the front door.
Frowning, even more unsettled, Ryan got off the stool and went upstairs to get properly dressed just in case. It wasn’t like he was naked or overly exposed; though it was a little embarrassing to be in boxers. The bedroom door was shut so Ryan opened it slowly, looking inside and softly calling, “Brendon?” thinking he might be there. The room was just as empty, though, and Ryan went completely inside; disappointed.
However, a spark of excitement shot through Ryan’s gut when he noticed some clothes folded neatly on the bed with a note card baring his name resting on top. He went to the bed and picked the card up, the inside reading, wear these, in messy-neat handwriting. Ryan got even more confused by the two simple words, setting the small card aside and looking over the pile.
On top was a clean pair of Ryan’s boxers that he quickly exchanged for his current ones; a pair of khaki cargo pants beneath. They weren’t really something Ryan wore a lot, but he figured ‘what the hell’ because Brendon wanted him in them for a reason and they went just past his knees anyway. Last in the pile was a shirt; Ryan removing the one he had on to put on the new red-brown one.
On the blanket was another card that read, turn around.
Doing so, Ryan looked behind him to find Brendon leaning casually in the doorway, dressed in a similar fashion. “I’m glad it all fits,” he said, looking Ryan over. “You’re so skinny that I was wondering…”
“How long have you been there?” Ryan asked, brow knit.
“Not long,” Brendon answered. “Just long enough to see the good parts.” He grinned.
“Perv.” Ryan tried to be disgusted and offended, but was really fighting off a large smile. “Where were you?”
“Getting everything ready.”
“For what?” Ryan skeptically asked.
“For me to know,” Brendon pushed off the door’s molding and went to Ryan, “And for you to find out.”
“What’s with the outfit?”
“Stop asking questions,” Brendon said, slapping Ryan’s hand away as he pulled at the shirt for emphasis. “You’ll understand soon enough.”
“I’m to be some sacrifice, aren’t I?” Ryan joked, a tiny part of him actually fearful. A finger, at most.
“Of course.” Brendon kissed Ryan. “Gotta keep the gods happy for good weather and prime surfing,” he joked as well.
“But I’m not a virgin.” Ryan frowned.
“Virgins are so scarce now that I don’t think it matters anymore,” Brendon said with laughter. “We have to leave no though or we’ll be late,” he said, pulling back from Ryan.
“Late for what?”
“Told you; for me to know,” he suddenly put his arms around Ryan’s waist and lifted him up over his shoulder, “And for you to find out.” Brendon wrapped one arm around the back of Ryan’s knees to hold him.
“Brendon!” Ryan flailed, grabbing onto the bottom of Brendon’s shirt for support. “Put me down!”
“No,” the man answered, leaving the bedroom and pulling the door shut with his free arm. “Don’t think I will.”
“Brendon!” Ryan continued flailing until he realized where they were heading. “Don’t carry me downstairs!” he firmly stated, clutching Brendon’s shirt tighter. “Brendon!” It was higher than before.
“Stop moving or we’ll fall,” Brendon said, taking hold of the railing and descending the steps. Ryan squeaked lowly in the back of his throat, shutting his eyes and trying to stay as still as possible while Brendon carried him. When they reached the bottom, Brendon laughed, setting Ryan back on the ground.
“You scare way too easily,” he said, adjusting Ryan’s clothes. Ryan scowled and smacked Brendon’s hands away to do it himself. “I wasn’t going to drop you.”
“You still didn’t have to carry me,” Ryan grumbled with a half-scowl, half-pout. Brendon rolled his eyes and took hold of Ryan’s hand, leading him towards the front door. Half way through the living room, he stopped in front of a closet door, opening it and releasing Ryan’s hand to reach inside and pull out a couple pairs of hiking boots; handing one pair to Ryan.
“These should fit,” he said.
Ryan took the boots and looked at them questioningly. “And I need these…why?”
“Just put them on,” Brendon replied as he tugged his own pair on; tightly lacing them. Ryan obeyed and leaned back against the wall to keep his balance while he pulled the pair handed to him on, Brendon doing the laces for him. “How do they feel?” He looked up at Ryan from where he was kneeled on the ground.
Ryan shrugged. “Fine.”
“Good.” Brendon smiled, standing. “We’re all set then.” He closed the closet door and took Ryan’s hand again before he could open his mouth to protest. Brendon guided them outside where Ryan saw the jeep parked in front of the porch; the back holding a large backpack.
“Where are we going?” Ryan tried again, walking slowly down the steps. Brendon didn’t reply, rounding the vehicle and getting into the driver’s seat. Sighing, Ryan gave up and got into the other side, buckling up and only imagining what Brendon had in mind for them.
As soon as his belt clicked into place, Brendon started the vehicle and shifted into drive, pulling away from the house. Ryan shook his head to move the hair from his face as the wind rushed past them, shifting around in the seat to get comfortable. He didn’t know where they were going or how long it would take to get there, but judging by the large backpack behind him, Ryan didn’t think they’d be back any time soon.
“Already told Spencer we were going on a little trip so don’t worry about calling him.” Brendon told Ryan right as Ryan started thinking about doing just that. “Gabe knows too but left a note for Bill just in case.”
“Therefore I’m the only one still in the dark.”
“Basically.” Brendon smiled. “I think even Alex and Nate know by now.” Ryan really wasn’t that surprised and nodded, slouching down some. “You’re the only one who wasn’t supposed to know so I think it worked out.”
“Yay,” Ryan sarcastically muttered. He leaned forward to put on some music, crossing his arms after and enjoying the scenery.
=-=-=-=-=
“You’re going to get us lost again.” Ryan looked at the woods surrounding them. “And if you climb another tree and fall out, no one will be able to find us to help, and you’ll die.”
“You’re a little cynical.” Brendon commented while pulling the backpack from the jeep. Ryan shrugged, indifferent. “And we’re not going to get lost. I know exactly how to get to where we’re going.” He hauled the pack on and started doing up the straps around his body. “For the most part.”
“For the most part,” Ryan repeated in that sarcastic ‘uh huh’ kind of tone. “That means we’ll get lost and eventually die out here, lost in Hawaii. You’ll fall out of a tree and die a slow, painful death, unless you break your neck or I end your misery which we both know won’t happen.” Ryan leaned back against the jeep. “I’ll be sad and sit with your dead body, but after a few days, I’ll probably resort to cannibalism in attempt to stay alive, drinking any rainwater. Our remains will be found after some extended period of time, and some crappy investigation will ensue to figure out exactly how we died. Our friends will be left to bury whatever the cops hand over with at least the peace of mind of knowing what happened when we never returned.”
Brendon stood staring at Ryan, his face a little unbelieving and shocked. Ryan had spouted the entire scenario out in a serious, monotone voice; like it would actually happen. “Come on,” he said eventually, shaking his head. “We’re not going to die out here. But we have about an hour hike ahead of us so we need to get going.”
“What on earth is worth fighting our way through a jungle for an hour?”
Brendon headed for the trees. “You’ll see,” he called back, Ryan leaving the car and jogging a bit to catch up. “Just watch where you’re walking. Don’t want to trip on roots or step in a hole and break something.” Brendon warned, pushing some branches aside to reveal traces of a path-it hadn’t been kept up so nature had been reclaiming the land over the years.
“Wonderful,” Ryan muttered, stepping past Brendon and into the wooded area entirely; twigs snapping beneath his feet. Brendon followed him in, Ryan allowing him to lead the way. Brendon grabbed onto the straps of the backpack and started down the path, humming some tune lightly. Ryan sighed heavily and followed.
It was going to be a very long afternoon.
=-=-=-=-=
“Don’t you have to work today?” Ryan asked as the two moved deeper into the woods.
“I did,” Brendon replied, about a yard ahead. “But I told them I wasn’t coming in.” He glanced back at Ryan with a smile. “I’d rather spend the day with my boyfriend instead of a bunch of random strangers.”
“You know,” Ryan stepped over a large protruding root, “I’m still kind of a stranger. So you’re still spending the day with one.”
“Well that makes me a stranger too.” Brendon stopped to push a low branch out of the way. “And yet, you trust me.” He smirked. Ryan walked past him with a frown, smiling as soon as Brendon was out of his peripheral view.
“How much longer?” Ryan asked when Brendon took the lead again.
“Awhile,” he said, going back to humming. Ryan groaned and tipped his head back, nearly dragging his feet along.
=-=-=-=-=
“I’m tired of walking,” Ryan whined, a good distance behind Brendon now.
“We’re almost there,” Brendon called back.
“That’s what you said forever ago!” Ryan exhaled loudly.
“Just keep walking.” Brendon ordered. Ryan let out a long frustrated noise, but kept walking regardless.
=-=-=-=-=
In the end, the long walk really was worth it. Ryan was about ready to give up and sit down, they’d been walking for at least an hour and a half, when Brendon pushed some bushes out of the way for Ryan; Ryan stepping into a possible Heaven.
Facing Ryan was a rather large waterfall dumping water into a pool below. There were flowers and trees and birds and butterflies and Ryan was frozen in spot, staring, for what felt like years. “Told you,” Brendon sing-sang while joining Ryan in the open-enclosed space. “One of Hawaii’s many hidden splendors.” He stood next to Ryan, starting to undo the straps of the backpack.
“Bren…” Ryan barely found his voice. “This…this is…amazing…” he pretty much whispered, taking a few steps forward.
“Mhmm,” Brendon hummed, sliding the backpack off to free his back of the weight and setting it on the ground. Ryan paid no attention to what Brendon started to do and started walking around, taking in all the bright and beautiful sights. The birds were high up in the trees surrounding them all around, but still visible, and for a moment, Ryan tried to see how many different types of birds he could detect; doing the same with the butterflies hovering around the flowers.
The sound of the waterfall crashing down filled the air, but it was a peaceful noise. Ryan walked closer to the water and looked in; the view so crystal clear that he could see the bottom the entire way up to the meeting point of the waterfall and the pool. A few colorful fish swam lazily around, stopping in one place a few moments then heading in a new direction. There were a few small schools that moved in sync, mesmerizing Ryan as they swam.
When Ryan turned around, he saw Brendon had laid a blanket out and was setting containers of food out on it as he pulled them from the backpack. Ryan couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a picnic, it had to be a good fifteen years at least, and he got a tiny bit excited as he returned to the man; sitting at the edge of the blanket on his knees. "This is all just...wow..."
Brendon looked up from what he was doing, lips curved in a sincere smile. "I thought you'd like it," he said, tugging out some soda to top it all off. "And in my defense," he gave one towards Ryan, "Alex cooked everything." Ryan laughed, a true laugh, and set the bottle aside. "So you won't die or anything."
"I doubt you're that bad of a chef." Ryan commented. You're perfect at everything, he thought.
Brendon scoffed, nodding. "I actually am. I can't even manage a bowl of cereal." Ryan laughed more. "Why do you think I'm such good friends with Nalex? Without them, I'd waste away," he joked.
"It's their job," Ryan said in Brendon's defense.
"Exactly." Brendon agreed with a determined face. He reached to the side and plucked one of the brightly colored flowers, handing it to Ryan and saying, "I'm really glad you came to Hawaii." Ryan accepted the flower, face tinted with blush, laying it down beside him.
"Yeah," he agreed, receiving a paper plate next, "Me too."
=-=-=-=-=
“Brendon-what’re you doing?” Ryan asked when Brendon picked him up again. “Put me down!” he demanded as Brendon started towards the water. “I mean it, Brendon!” Brendon blew his hair from his face. “Put me down right now!”
“Okay.” Ryan barely registered the response when Brendon threw Ryan backwards into the water. Ryan hard the large splash before he realized he was submerged beneath the semi-cold water, finding the ground and raising his head above water to breathe. He coughed and rubbed his eyes, pushing his matted bangs aside to see. “You told me to put you down.” Brendon laughed from the bank.
“I,” Ryan coughed some more, pointing at Brendon, “Hate you.” Brendon laughed harder. “I’m all….wet, now!” he gestured to himself.
“I try.” Brendon smirked. He composed himself and brushed his eyes, reaching down and taking hold of the ends of his shirt; lifting it over his head and dropping it to the side. Removing his shoes after, Brendon took a few steps back then ran forward and dove into the pool, water flying at Ryan in a furious spray.
Ryan stumbled backwards, wiping his eyes again. He looked around once his vision was clear to find Brendon, unable to locate him. Confused, Ryan turned around to look behind him when he felt something wrap around his waist, causing Ryan to jump. Brendon popped above the water, holding onto Ryan, grinning. “Don’t,” Ryan put a hand over his heart, “Do that!”
“You’re too jumpy,” Brendon said, pushing his lips against Ryan’s, water trailing down his face. “And overdressed.” Brendon released Ryan’s waist to find the bottom of the heavy cloth clinging to Ryan’s body, pulling it up over Ryan’s head and tugging it completely off. Ryan felt instantly lighter as Brendon threw the drenched shirt back to the land, though he didn’t like being completely bare-chested either.
Ryan was pale, thin, and flat. Brendon was tan, muscular, and gorgeous. Thin and pale versus ripped and tan. It wasn’t much of comparison.
“Next,” Brendon said, moving Ryan towards the nearest bank and hauling him from the water to sit him on the edge. He unlaced the boots and yanked them off Ryan’s feet, the socks following, setting them aside so Ryan was left in only the shorts like Brendon. Putting his hands on Ryan’s hips, Brendon pulled Ryan back down, Ryan placing his hands on Brendon’s shoulders for stability as he ended up back in the water.
“Much better.” Brendon smiled as Ryan’s bare feet found the muddy bottom. He held Ryan for a few minutes, the contrast in temperature of Brendon’s body and the water relaxing to Ryan, before Brendon started moving towards the down-pouring water a few yards away.
“Now what’re we doing?” Ryan asked, having to speak over the splashing water that sprayed them in a light mist.
“They say the waterfall is magical,” Brendon answered, equally as loud. “That you go beneath the fall and make a wish and it will come true.” Ryan tried not to give Brendon a disbelieving look. “But only one wish a year is granted.”
“How do you now this year’s hasn’t?”
“Not too many people know about this place.” Brendon’s grin grew. “And only someone with a pure wish will get it granted.”
“Pure wish?” Ryan stopped. Any closer and they wouldn’t be able to hear each other at all. Not to mention the water was getting deeper.
“You know, someone who wishes for wealth or fame is just being greedy and materialistic,” Brendon replied. “Only someone who wishes for something with value and meaning, something they want with all their heart, will get it.”
“You’re weird,” Ryan said, smiling nonetheless. It sounded nice, but Ryan wasn’t five anymore either. There was no such thing as magic. Brendon shrugged, still grinning madly, letting go of Ryan’s hand.
“Make a wish!”
“I’m not going under that.” Ryan huffed. He’d cross his arms if he wasn’t using them to keep his balance.
“It’s not that bad.” Brendon rolled his eyes playfully. Ryan shook his head regardless. “Come on, Ryan. There has to be something you want with all your heart!” Again Ryan shook his head. Really, Ryan couldn’t think of anything he wanted that badly. Not purely, at least.
“You do it,” Ryan said, “You make a wish.”
“I already have what I want.” The smile was there, but the tone of voice told the truth. “Think of it as getting baptized.”
“I’m not going under there.” He firmly repeated. Brendon frowned, giving in and closing the distance between them. Now, Ryan should have known better. He should have known better than to let Brendon get that close, especially with that twinkle in his brown eyes, but he didn’t.
So when Brendon shoved Ryan beneath the water, Ryan barely able to take a breath in time, it was Ryan’s fault.
For a minute Ryan couldn’t move. He was caught up in the motion of the water that was beating down on his bare skin, colors flashing behind his eyes. Brendon grabbed Ryan’s arm a moment later though and pulled him back, holding Ryan up above the water as he coughed it out and practically gasped for breath.
“You okay?” Brendon asked, Ryan clutching onto him for dear life.
“Why…why would you do that?!” Ryan was considerably angry. His lungs burned. “I told you I didn’t…” he couldn’t finish the sentence as he coughed more, trying not to hack all over Brendon in the process.
“Hey, calm down.” Brendon’s voice was genuine. “You’re fine; I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.” He removed his grip from one of Ryan’s arms to stroke his hair back. “If it was dangerous, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“But I told you ‘no’!” Ryan stressed, coughing a bit more. He tried to pull away from Brendon, shaking from the adrenaline. All he could think about for a minute was Pete. So many times Ryan would tell Pete ‘no’ for one reason or another, but Pete would do it anyway. Ryan wasn’t with Pete anymore. He didn’t want that anymore.
“Ryan;” Brendon held onto Ryan. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He frowned. Ryan didn’t know if it was water or tears sliding down his cheeks as he fought the urge to look back at Brendon, not the least bit amused. Neither was Brendon anymore. “I wouldn’t-I won’t-let something happen to you, Ryan,” Brendon said wholeheartedly.
Ryan believed him, but he was still angry. “I told you no…” he almost whispered, giving up trying to get away.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Brendon pulled Ryan closer. “I shouldn’t have made you do it.” He kissed Ryan’s head then pressed their chests together, holding Ryan close. Ryan felt his body relax some and his heart slow, eyes shutting. “Can you forgive me?” Ryan felt the words rather than hear them.
Silently, Ryan nodded. Brendon wasn’t Pete, he reminded himself. Brendon was better. Brendon actually cared about Ryan and wouldn’t let anything happen to him intentionally. Ryan knew that, and he could forgive Brendon. It wasn’t like Brendon meant for Ryan to get freaked out. It was a little push, a joke, if you will, and Ryan was fine.
Brendon made sure of that.
“I really hate water,” Ryan muttered after a few minutes, gradually getting back to homeostasis.
Brendon laughed, kissing the top of Ryan’s head, and squeezing him reassuringly as he exhaled, “Then lets get out,” slowly moving towards the bank and helping Ryan back to dry, solid ground.
=-=-=-=-=
“Answer it already.” Ryan sighed, tired of hearing the constant ring of Brendon’s cellphone.
“Whoever it is can wait,” Brendon said, leaning down to kiss Ryan some more as he straddled him. Ryan wore the shirt Brendon had taken off earlier and only the boxers, lying on the grass in a beam of warm sunlight that fell into the enclosed space.
“Just answer it.” Ryan turned his head to the side and pushed at Ryan’s chest until he sat up. Brendon made a frustrated noise and moved to the side, standing then going to the backpack where he had put their phones. He yanked the zipper back and extracted the ringing device, glancing briefly at the screen then back to Ryan. “Well?” Ryan turned onto the side, propping his head on his elbow.
Brendon looked towards the water then drew his arm back, taking a step forward and pelting his phone at the fall. It flipped around in circles, the ring fading out as it slammed into the water and disappeared. “There.” Brendon was smugly proud, brushing his hands together.
Ryan gave him an incredulous look. “That was a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”
“It was interrupting our time.”
“You could have turned it off…” Ryan glance at the spot the phone disappeared in.
“I needed a new one anyway.” Brendon shrugged, returning to Ryan. “Now,” Brendon used his foot to push Ryan onto his back, dropping to his knees, “Where were we?” he captured Ryan’s lips in another kiss.
=-=-=-=-=
Ryan sat on the edge of the bank, feet in the water, watching the fish cautiously approach before jetting away. The sun was starting to set behind the trees, giving everything a warm glow; including Brendon.
The Hawaiian was back in the water, floating around lazily on his back, humming the same tune he had hummed to Ryan a few nights prior. For the most part, Ryan paid no attention to him, but when he wandered into a beam of sunlight, Ryan kicked at the cold water to control himself. The golden light bathing Brendon’s skin…the light making the droplets of water on those amazing abs sparkling like stars…Ryan had to practically beat himself down.
“What’re you going to do when you get back to Vegas?” Brendon casually asked, using his arms to move himself around.
“Go back to work.” Ryan shrugged, staring at his feet. “There’re a few more weeks of summer school. Then the normal term starts again.”
“What grade do you teach?” It was clear to Ryan that Brendon was avoiding the actual fact that Ryan was leaving, and Ryan was thankful.
“During the summer it depends.” Ryan moved his feet, scaring the fish. “But normally, tenth and eleventh.”
“Is it hard?” Brendon looked at Ryan as he drifted by.
“Not really.” Ryan looked back. “Some kids don’t do the work, but overall I’ve never had many problems. I like it.”
“There’re schools here too…” Brendon mumbled, thinking Ryan couldn’t hear. He did, though.
“What about you?” Ryan leaned back on his arms. “What’s your typical day like?”
“Every day’s different.” Brendon answered. “I work mornings then spend my afternoons either at the diner or on the water. Then one weekend a month I have Mia, which pretty much goes the same each time.”
“Then when Bill’s here…” Brendon laughed.
“I don’t think I’ll be seeing much of Bill anymore.” Brendon’s face looked happy, but beneath the laugh his voice was anything but.
“Why?” Ryan’s eyebrows pulled together in complete confusion. Brendon and William were best friends.
“One, Travis is back. When Bill comes to visit, that’s who he’ll be with.” Brendon stared at the sky. “Two, he wants to fix things with Gabe. Since Gabe doesn’t care much for Hawaii, Bill will give up coming here more than once or twice a year to make Gabe happy.”
“He wouldn’t-“
“I know him, Ryan.” Brendon cut Ryan off. “Ever since they met, William’s been all about pleasing Gabe. There’re some things he’ll stand up to, but not much.” Ryan frowned hard. He didn’t believe that Bill would give up an almost lifelong friendship for a deranged relationship.
“Why don’t you go visit him?” Ryan suggested after a few minutes silence.
“Hawaii is more my element.” Brendon paused a few feet from Ryan and stood up, turning to face him. “It’s no big deal, Ryan.” He smiled; fake. “I’m used to being alone. I get by just fine.” Brendon shook his hair out then headed for the bank, climbing from the water and heading towards the backpack.
Ryan watched him, studying him, noting how tense and upset Brendon truly was. He still couldn’t believe that William wouldn’t come visit Brendon all the time, but Brendon was right - Ryan didn’t know Bill like Brendon did.
Brendon slipped off the wet shorts, left only in the wet boxers, then sat down in the grass and laid back; arms folded behind his head and staring thoughtfully at the sky. Silently sighing, Ryan went back to staring at the water before him which moved now only with the rush of the fall. He kept still so the fish would approach again, wishing he could reach down and touch them.
Ryan had a wish now, but wasn’t going anywhere near that waterfall.
=-=-=-=-=
The sky was dark, filled with stars looking down at them. By this point, the waterfall was just an every day kind of noise to Ryan, and he forgot it was even there. He laid on his back on top the blanket they had eaten on earlier, arms folded behind his head, mirroring the position Brendon had held hours before. "That's the north star," Ryan said, pointing towards one of the bright balls.
"No way," Brendon said, disbelieving.
"It totally is!" Ryan scoffed, arm returning to be part of his pillow.
"It can't be!" Brendon continued to object. "That's south. The north star is north. Hence it's name."
"How do you know that's south?" Ryan turned his head towards Brendon, barely able to make out his features in the darkness.
"It's my job to know directions." Brendon replied, Ryan knowing there was an eye roll too. "That's south."
"You don't even know where I pointed." Ryan stuck his tongue out. "And if you're so good with directions, how come we got lost the other day in the woods by your house?"
"That's irrelevant."
"How is it irrelevant?" Ryan started laughing. "If you know directions, we wouldn't have gotten lost. But we did, so maybe you suck at your job."
"Or maybe," Brendon was suddenly over Ryan, "I just wanted some alone time." He started poking Ryan's stomach, making Ryan laugh harder and try to hit his hands away with breathless protests of, 'stop!' Brendon continued though, purposely tickling Ryan to make him flail and laugh and even start crying from laughing so hard.
Ryan managed to finally shove Brendon off, curling onto his side and clutching his abdomen, still laughing. Brendon laughed beside him, on his side facing Ryan. It took a few minutes for Ryan to stop, having to regulate his breathing and stop the tears from sliding out. His abdomen hurt, but he didn't much mind, releasing his stomach to dig the heel of his palm into his eyes.
"I'd keep you forever, if I could," Brendon quietly said once the atmosphere was settled again, reaching over to Ryan and pushing his hair back behind his head. "But," he exhaled a large breath, "I can't." The pain in Ryan's stomach turned to nausea.
Brendon put his arm around Ryan and tugged him closer, molding their bodies together. "At least you're mine for one more day," he mumbled, pressing his face into Ryan's hair.
"Brendon?" Ryan settled his head on Brendon's shoulder, placing one hand over Brendon's heart.
"Hmm?" Brendon hummed, intertwining their legs.
"Will you sing me a song?" He felt like a little child, but he really didn't care.
"Like what?" Brendon asked, not denying Ryan's request.
"Whatever you want." Ryan didn't really care. He just wanted to hear Brendon's voice.
Brendon thought for a moment, but eventually started something very quietly, Ryan feeling the words more than hearing them. He let his eyes fall shut, focusing solely on the vibrations of Brendon's chest and the warmth of Brendon's body pressed close to his. Somewhere around the words, "I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home," Ryan lost the ability to stay awake.
Next
A/N--- Had to get back to the main characters, you know? xD
Anyway, I looked at the results of our Gabe vs. Travis poll. It was a heated battle. But when one of them suddenly shot considerably above the other, and this poll has been out for a bit, I realized I don't know if I can actually call it valid. I know some of you made accounts just to vote, and I don't like that :(
So I know what I'm going to do with next chapter--it's what I thought I was going to do with it before I even asked.
only 2 more chapters left (thank God)
and then the epilogue, that will be at least 2 parts. Maybe more. But it'll all be posted at once.
I had an amazing time at TFFL and can't wait for an opportunity to meet Cobra again to redeem myself 'cause I was a nervous mess xD
Who excited for Travie's album?! -raises hand-
xoxo Tabi
ps--- anyone else laugh at Brendon promoting TYV on Panic's site? It might just be me, but I imagine him writing that with a clenched jaw. Like, he was made to do it... xD
Also, if you ever have a question for me, ask Here; and don't forget to follow me on twitter if you have one (Here) 'cause I talk about my stories a lot :)