i hate myself.

[iownyourheart]

so over the past month i am steadily becoming an alcoholic. i blame this entirely with the people i work with. and it is only a bad thing because everytime i go to the bar with them (which is alot) i ALWAYS, without fail, find some way to make a fool out of myself. there was no difference last night. so daniel and shane tell me that last call is in 10 minutes, coz i got there at 11:45. so i was like oh fuck, i better order like 12 drinks so i can catch up with you guys.... well they were drunk and in all reality last call wasnt untill 1:30. so i was shitfaced by 12:15 and thats when things got bad. hahahahaha i love how much of a dyke i am when im drunk. i kissed more girls last night than i have in my entire life, family included. and of course daniel was there, trying to get me to go home with him. which is the last thing i remember.... was me making daniel sit outside for 45 minutes in the freezing cold trying to convince me i was way to drunk to drive and to sleep at his house. and SOME HOW he did. but he was right, if i drove i would have died. we ended up talking untill like 6:30 in the morning and realizing we had alot more in common then we thought. daniel is fucking beautiful, but for some reason something kept me from doing anything last night.... :) which im thankful for.

its now 10 a.m. and im tired.
i'm an asshole.