(no subject)
All I do is cry anymore. I bottle it up all day and go to bed early so I can let it all out. I cry so hard sometimes that after I'm done I'm literally gasping for air.
My heart is so broken. I have no comfort, no closure at all. The wondering of why and what happened gnaws at me everday, 24/7. I want to call and get things between us finished and wrapped up just for my own benefit but I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that if I ask him to speak to me in person he'll tell me no. I just don't understand how he can shove me away like this. Like I meant nothing to him. His feelings for me were genuine. I could see it in his eyes and the way his face would sometimes light up when he looked at me.
I want the memories and my feelings gone so I can feel normal again. I feel like a zombie...just going through the motions. I want to run away and at the same time I want to hole myself up in my room and never come out. I wish I could move right now, this instant so that I no longer live 3 houses down from him. I keep sleeping 12 hours.
I know it's because I'm emotionally drained. I have to drag myself out of bed.
I don't know when I'll feel better. Pray for me.
My heart is so broken. I have no comfort, no closure at all. The wondering of why and what happened gnaws at me everday, 24/7. I want to call and get things between us finished and wrapped up just for my own benefit but I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that if I ask him to speak to me in person he'll tell me no. I just don't understand how he can shove me away like this. Like I meant nothing to him. His feelings for me were genuine. I could see it in his eyes and the way his face would sometimes light up when he looked at me.
I want the memories and my feelings gone so I can feel normal again. I feel like a zombie...just going through the motions. I want to run away and at the same time I want to hole myself up in my room and never come out. I wish I could move right now, this instant so that I no longer live 3 houses down from him. I keep sleeping 12 hours.
I know it's because I'm emotionally drained. I have to drag myself out of bed.
I don't know when I'll feel better. Pray for me.