Fic: Touching Your Sorrow
Title: Touching Your Sorrow
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone sees Jared and Jensen as two actors and best friends. Jared is a dad and Jensen is soon to be one. They seem content with their lives and always enjoy their careers. If people only knew how they really feel…
AN: Written for j2noauchallenge. I’d like to thank aelia1980 for organizing the challenge and bellagattino for the banner and icon. Thank you, dears! Last but not least, I want to extend my gratitude to laurathelurker and vamous for their time and effort betaing this piece. This wouldn’t be here without you. *hugs you*
"Shit," Jared curses as he glances at his watch. Jensen is late again, the third time this month alone, and it's only the sixth of the month.
Jensen's been insistent on going to set by himself and this means he's taking a cab because Clif drives Jared and Jared knows Jensen has refused to get another car and driver designated to pick him up. From twitter though Jared has found out that Jensen's been going to the Starbucks for his obligatory morning caffeine consumption. And-what the hell is with that? It's not like someone on the set can't get it for him.
"Hey guys, what's up?"
Jared looks up. His gaze falls to the sight of Jensen already going to his trailer. Jared jogs after him.
"Hey," he says, panting lightly. "What's going on?"
Jensen doesn't even look at him. "What do you mean?" he asks but clearly brushes Jared off as he keeps walking.
"Jen?" Jared taps his arm lightly and Jensen grimaces as he finally halts. Jensen's grimaced a lot at the mention of his nickname after Jared got married no matter what Jared told him about that.
"You know it's not real."
"What's not real?"
"Gen and I. We-God, Jen, we agreed to do this together."
"Just-don't call me that again."
But Jared just did. And if it doesn't make him feel bad, Jensen's bloodshot eyes staring lifelessly at him might.
"Jesus, Jensen. You look awful."
"I'm peachy, Jared." He looks just ready to bolt and flinches sharply when Jared moves to take his arm. "Don't."
Jared bites his lip. That was out of habit, really. He's so used to touching Jensen that sometimes he doesn't think that the other man might not like it sometimes. But he hates not knowing what's wrong with the man he loves most and being denied when wanting to find out about it.
"Jensen, please."
Jensen will not look him in the eye but his face softens.
"Not now, okay? We’ve got work to do."
Jared sighs. Jensen is right. They have shots to take, scenes to finish.
"Say you'll tell me everything. Promise?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Jensen vanishes into his trailer then and only reappears for make-up. He doesn't even have breakfast.
On set it's not Jensen who turns up. It's Dean through and through and there is nothing Jared can do to penetrate the wall, not even during the break. So right after the director shouts, "Cut! That's perfect. All right, guys, take 30 for lunch," Jared immediately takes off in the direction of Jensen.
"Jensen, your trailer now?" Jared says and takes Jensen by the elbow, leaving no room for argument.
Jensen looks positively stunned but before he can say anything Jared has half dragged him to his trailer, opened the door, and pushed him inside.
"What the hell, Jared?"
"Stay put. I'll grab us some food and we'll eat here. Don't you dare even move."
Jensen gulps. Seeing that, Jared feels a bit sorry for having acted too harshly. But he won't have Jensen run away from him again and hide somewhere.
When Jared is back to the trailer, the sight that welcomes him makes his heart sink. Jensen is still there where he left him, sitting on the edge of the couch with one hand gripping the side of the drawer next to it so tightly his knuckles go white. His face looks lost and when Jared steps into the trailer Jensen stares at him with the haunted look Dean often wears in his eyes. Jared sighs, puts their food on the table, sits down beside him, and takes Jensen's hand from the drawer. He's glad Jensen doesn't wave his away.
"Tell me," says Jared. He feels Jensen struggle to calm down.
"It's my father," Jensen says, with Dean's voice and persona to Jared's dismay. Jensen always hides behind his alter ego when he is in a lot of stress, but at least that makes him talk.
"What's wrong with him?"
Jensen squeezes his hand and looks at him sadly. "There's nothing wrong with him. I just-I guess I finally made him proud this time."
If that doesn't feel like a lightning strike in the middle of the day... Jared stares at him, bewildered.
"What did you do, Jensen?" He doesn't like Jensen's father. He was the one being unsympathetic about his son and Jared being together. Jared still remembers the Thanksgiving Day when they met with both of their parents here in Vancouver.
"Mom, Dad, meet my boyfriend, Jensen," Jared said at that time to his own parents. He couldn't help but glance at the Ackles, and what he saw sent ice into his heart. Mr. Ackles' face hardened at once and the man straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me; may I speak with my son, in private?" He wasn't even looking at Jensen as he took Jensen by the elbow and led him outside. Jared never found out what they talked about; Jensen never told him. But he didn't have to. The fact that they both ended up marrying women they either hardly knew before or loved said more than anything Jensen could.
Jared shakes himself out of his wandering mind and realizes Jensen still hasn't replied. He lets the man's hand go and hugs him instead.
"What happened? It can't be worse than what we've done." Jared guffaws and hates the sound himself. Jensen stares blankly at the space before him.
"We’re going to have a kid," he says. "I'm going to LA for a couple of weeks for that. We'll do IVF."
But that's not something new. Jared tilts his head so he can see Jensen more clearly.
"Well, isn't that what we're supposed to do? I mean it's in the contract and all."
"But not this soon." Jensen grits his teeth. "I said it'd be near the end of Supernatural, not far before it. I want us-you and I-to look after the child and not..."
"Your wife," Jared supplies the words. He knows Jensen can't even mention them, or her name. Jensen nods.
"But my dad doesn't want to listen to me or understand. It's always kids, kids, kids he's talking about."
"He knows what your contract says, right?"
"Yes, and that's exactly why. It mentions an obligatory child. He wouldn't stop reminding me."
Jared tightens his hold on Jensen and presses their heads together. He closes his eyes. Jensen didn't say anything about Jared's son though he was the first person Jared told about it. They both wanted to have kids by the time Supernatural finishes for that very reason Jensen has mentioned, but things have not happened the way they preferred them to do. Jared sighs. Jensen leans into him.
"Something I really don't understand about your father, Jensen, is that he seems to be so against you being gay. I thought it would be no problem, you know, at least not too much. Hell, I thought my dad would be a lot tougher to accept me but he wasn't. I mean, your dad's sister is gay and he seems okay with that."
Jensen nuzzles into his neck. "He can't say anything about her. Aunt Jo is such a hardhead. But me-" Jensen takes a deep breath. "I’ve never been good enough for him. I didn’t go to college; I'm only an actor. He just finds it hard to be proud of me. Then he found out that I'm gay-"
"He's not proud of you? What kind of bullshit is that? Just look at you and look at him."
"Jared, don't say that."
"No. Jensen, you're the earth and sky compared to him. Look at you. You have your own TV show. You have thousands-or should I say millions?-fans around the world. You're lovely, talented, and kind. Have you ever heard a guest star or the crew badmouth you? I don't think so."
"Jared, stop it." But Jared can hear smile in Jensen's voice.
"No, I won't. I'm not finished. You are a good son. Everything you do is nothing if not to make your family happy. Your father is so wrong to not be proud of you and it's his loss."
By this time Jensen's been kissing Jared's face.
"Oh, and one more thing. I love you. Don't you ever doubt that. You always have me. When you feel inadequate, just turn to me and I will remind you how wonderful a person you are."
Jensen sniffles, his hand tightening in Jared's hair as he is practically all over Jared. His tears are flowing unchecked making Jared's face wet, but Jared can't bring himself to care.
"I love you," Jensen chants over and over. "I can't live without you."
"I'm not going anywhere. I never want to," he murmurs, cups Jensen's face and begins to inundate the person he loves so much with kisses, too, on his lips, nose, the lids of his eyes, and down to his neck before sneaking to nuzzle the back of Jensen's ear.
They are still tangled in others’ arms when a knock at the door interrupts them. With great reluctance Jared lets Jensen go and calls out.
"Yes?"
The trailer door opens with a soft click and someone, one of their PA's, peeks inside.
"Jared, Jensen? You're wanted on set in five." She leaves before either of them gets to reply.
Jared and Jensen exchange glances and Jared begins to frown, not because they're afraid of the fact that the girl found them together in Jensen's trailer during the break-it's not even a problem among the crew-but because they haven't had their lunch.
"You should eat something," Jared says.
Jensen shrugs. "I'm not hungry."
"But you didn't have breakfast, did you?" Jared lifts a forefinger as Jensen opens his mouth to protest. "U-uh. Don't lie to me."
"I'm not gonna lie. Okay, I didn't have breakfast but I'm not hungry, I swear. Besides-" His tone suddenly changes and Jared squints.
"What?"
"How about going out for dinner tonight? I feel like having the biggest steak as I'm sure I'll be hungry enough later."
"Huh? What time do you think we're going to finish?"
"Early enough, I hope."
"How do you know that? Phil said he wanted to finish some more scenes so tomorrow we won't have too many left to film."
Jensen pouts and jerks up, rubbing his face. "Okay, wet blanket, if you say so. Come on, let's head to make up." He sniffs exaggeratedly. "Thank you so much for making me cry, asshole."
Jared grabs Jensen's hand and pulls him hard, causing him to stumble into Jared's lap. Jensen yelps and Jared breaks into laughter that makes Jensen laugh, too. When the commotion subsides, they fall silent as they look into each other's eyes. Slowly their heads come closer and Jared kisses Jensen softly on the lips. Sighing, Jensen kisses back as he seems to melt against Jared's mouth.
:::
They end up finishing the filming around midnight and are completely drained as they wrap the last scene. It's impossible to go out afterward. That’s totally all right for Jared as he made sure that Jensen ate during the break on set. And he insists that he and Clif take Jensen home first.
"Whatever you say, bitch," Jensen grumbles.
"Jerk." Jared grins widely.
:::
This is like having a déjà vu. Jensen is late again and worse, he's still not arrived when Jared's been on set more than an hour. He refused to be picked when Jared suggested it last night. And Jared thought everything was all right.
"Is Ackles okay?" Jared turns at the voice behind him and pulls his cell from his ear. Phil is standing there giving him a questioning look.
"Tried to contact him several times already," Jared says.
"No answer?"
"No answer." Jared knows his attempt to hide his concern fails when Phil squeezes his shoulder.
"You talked for a long time yesterday. Anything I should know?"
"Everything's fine, Phil. I swear." But Jared grips his cell phone so tightly he's afraid he's going to break it. He lifts it to his ear. "I'm going to call him again."
Jared means it as a subtle sign for Phil to leave him alone but either the director doesn't understand or doesn't care since he stays. He's watching Jared as he redials Jensen's number and listens to unending waiting tones. Jared huffs. He feels like tossing the thing against a wall.
"You want to go see him?" Phil's soft voice startles him. "Or should I send someone to go check on him?"
There is no way Jared would let him send someone else.
"May I?" That sounds pitiful even for Jared. Phil doesn't even bat an eyelash.
"Go. Bring him here fast. I need our Dean."
"Thanks," he says, breathless. Jared practically bolts and meets Clif on his way.
"Clif, can I borrow the van?"
"Sure, dude." Clif tosses him the keys and Jared runs to the parking lot.
:::
"Jensen, you in there?" Jared knocks on the door. He wonders if Jensen's still home or already on his way. He knocks again. "Jen?"
Well, Jared has a key anyway and he produces it after there's still no answer, and he unlocks the door. It's so dark everywhere when he steps in and there is a distinctive smell coming from Jensen's bedroom. Jared's mouth purses as he pushes the bedroom door open.
"Jensen?" He switches on the light to find out no one is in the bed and the comforter is half on the bed and half on the floor. Jared's heart begins to pound. "Jensen!" His gaze sweeps around the room and he darts to the bathroom. There kneeling on the floor is Jensen, hugging the toilet.
"Jesus Christ. Jensen, what's the matter with you?"
Right after the last word left Jared's mouth, Jensen retches into the bowl but he's only dry heaving now.
"God, Jen." Jared squats down and rubs Jensen's neck and down to his back. Jensen heaves and spits several more times and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
"You done?" Jared asks.
Jensen nods and scrambles to his feet. Jared helps him up to the sink. Jensen gargles to wash his mouth out and heads out of the bathroom. Jared never lets him go.
"God, you're burning up."
"I'm okay." But Jensen's voice is hoarse from throwing up.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I told you."
Suddenly Jared feels like blowing up. "Nothing doesn't make you crawl from your bed to bend over the toilet and throw up the entire contents of your stomach."
Jensen visibly cringes as he wraps himself in the blanket like a cocoon.
"I-I'm sorry," he says quietly, his knuckles turning pale as he grips the comforter tightly.
"No, don't be sorry-"
"My stomach doesn't feel too good..."
"Damn it, Jensen," Jared mutters. "Did you take anything?"
Jensen shakes his head. Jared smoothes his hair back.
"I'll get you something. Don't go anywhere."
Jensen smiles a little at Jared's lame attempt to joke. He looks pale and tired and his eyes have begun to droop. Jared fights an urge to just stay and wrap him up in his arms.
He finds a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in the kitchen and takes a glass of water, too. But back in the room he finds Jensen is fast asleep. Jared sighs as his heart clenches. He knows Jensen hasn't eaten well for the past couple of days. The stress he's been under for thinking about what his dad asked him to do must have taken its toll and his body can't take it anymore. Suddenly Jared feels his blood begin to boil. He has to put the bottle and glass carefully on the nightstand before he breaks them both. Fishing into his jeans pocket for his cell, he browses through the numbers. As he waits for the connection to establish, Jared sneaks quietly out of the room. Someone picks up the call at the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Ackles? It's Jared."
:::
Jared's sitting and leaning against the headboard with half of Jensen's body lying on him. He smiles to himself every time he remembers the phone call he made to Jensen's father that included words such as love Jensen very much, would do anything for him, you made him stressed, and elope. Jensen's father was rendered quiet for a moment and finally promised to let his son do what he wants. That was good enough for Jared and he gave his word they would do exactly what the contracts said.
He had then returned to the room and woke Jensen up for his medicine before he got worse. Fortunately it seemed that Jensen’s stomach was no longer upset and he soon fell asleep again on Jared's lap as Jared slowly ran his fingers in his hair.
"You look like a cat that got its canary." Jensen's sleepy voice startles him. Jared looks down and finds Jensen's eyes at him.
"Because I did just get my canary."
"What did you do?" Jensen asks, frowning.
"Nothing. Ssh. Go back to sleep."
"I feel better. I'd like to go to the set."
"You're kidding, right?" Jared traps Jensen with an arm over his chest. "You're sick. I called Phil already and he agreed that we were off for today. He said they were working with the second unit."
Jensen goes still and finally relaxes. "Okay." He tries to remove Jared's hand but fails. "Jay, I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh, all right." Jared releases him and slides down to lie next to Jensen. He fixes the comforter over both of them and pulls Jensen closer. "C'mere babe."
"Don't you 'babe' me," Jensen mutters but he complies, snuggling into Jared's body, resting his head on Jared's firm chest. Jensen's face feels good against Jared’s chest, soft and warm. Jensen looks a lot better with color returning to his cheeks.
"I'll babe you whenever I want," Jared murmurs as he wraps himself around Jensen's body.
He won't tell Jensen that he talked to his father and threatened him a bit. No one hurts Jensen and gets away with it.
:::
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone sees Jared and Jensen as two actors and best friends. Jared is a dad and Jensen is soon to be one. They seem content with their lives and always enjoy their careers. If people only knew how they really feel…
AN: Written for j2noauchallenge. I’d like to thank aelia1980 for organizing the challenge and bellagattino for the banner and icon. Thank you, dears! Last but not least, I want to extend my gratitude to laurathelurker and vamous for their time and effort betaing this piece. This wouldn’t be here without you. *hugs you*
"Shit," Jared curses as he glances at his watch. Jensen is late again, the third time this month alone, and it's only the sixth of the month.
Jensen's been insistent on going to set by himself and this means he's taking a cab because Clif drives Jared and Jared knows Jensen has refused to get another car and driver designated to pick him up. From twitter though Jared has found out that Jensen's been going to the Starbucks for his obligatory morning caffeine consumption. And-what the hell is with that? It's not like someone on the set can't get it for him.
"Hey guys, what's up?"
Jared looks up. His gaze falls to the sight of Jensen already going to his trailer. Jared jogs after him.
"Hey," he says, panting lightly. "What's going on?"
Jensen doesn't even look at him. "What do you mean?" he asks but clearly brushes Jared off as he keeps walking.
"Jen?" Jared taps his arm lightly and Jensen grimaces as he finally halts. Jensen's grimaced a lot at the mention of his nickname after Jared got married no matter what Jared told him about that.
"You know it's not real."
"What's not real?"
"Gen and I. We-God, Jen, we agreed to do this together."
"Just-don't call me that again."
But Jared just did. And if it doesn't make him feel bad, Jensen's bloodshot eyes staring lifelessly at him might.
"Jesus, Jensen. You look awful."
"I'm peachy, Jared." He looks just ready to bolt and flinches sharply when Jared moves to take his arm. "Don't."
Jared bites his lip. That was out of habit, really. He's so used to touching Jensen that sometimes he doesn't think that the other man might not like it sometimes. But he hates not knowing what's wrong with the man he loves most and being denied when wanting to find out about it.
"Jensen, please."
Jensen will not look him in the eye but his face softens.
"Not now, okay? We’ve got work to do."
Jared sighs. Jensen is right. They have shots to take, scenes to finish.
"Say you'll tell me everything. Promise?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Jensen vanishes into his trailer then and only reappears for make-up. He doesn't even have breakfast.
On set it's not Jensen who turns up. It's Dean through and through and there is nothing Jared can do to penetrate the wall, not even during the break. So right after the director shouts, "Cut! That's perfect. All right, guys, take 30 for lunch," Jared immediately takes off in the direction of Jensen.
"Jensen, your trailer now?" Jared says and takes Jensen by the elbow, leaving no room for argument.
Jensen looks positively stunned but before he can say anything Jared has half dragged him to his trailer, opened the door, and pushed him inside.
"What the hell, Jared?"
"Stay put. I'll grab us some food and we'll eat here. Don't you dare even move."
Jensen gulps. Seeing that, Jared feels a bit sorry for having acted too harshly. But he won't have Jensen run away from him again and hide somewhere.
When Jared is back to the trailer, the sight that welcomes him makes his heart sink. Jensen is still there where he left him, sitting on the edge of the couch with one hand gripping the side of the drawer next to it so tightly his knuckles go white. His face looks lost and when Jared steps into the trailer Jensen stares at him with the haunted look Dean often wears in his eyes. Jared sighs, puts their food on the table, sits down beside him, and takes Jensen's hand from the drawer. He's glad Jensen doesn't wave his away.
"Tell me," says Jared. He feels Jensen struggle to calm down.
"It's my father," Jensen says, with Dean's voice and persona to Jared's dismay. Jensen always hides behind his alter ego when he is in a lot of stress, but at least that makes him talk.
"What's wrong with him?"
Jensen squeezes his hand and looks at him sadly. "There's nothing wrong with him. I just-I guess I finally made him proud this time."
If that doesn't feel like a lightning strike in the middle of the day... Jared stares at him, bewildered.
"What did you do, Jensen?" He doesn't like Jensen's father. He was the one being unsympathetic about his son and Jared being together. Jared still remembers the Thanksgiving Day when they met with both of their parents here in Vancouver.
"Mom, Dad, meet my boyfriend, Jensen," Jared said at that time to his own parents. He couldn't help but glance at the Ackles, and what he saw sent ice into his heart. Mr. Ackles' face hardened at once and the man straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me; may I speak with my son, in private?" He wasn't even looking at Jensen as he took Jensen by the elbow and led him outside. Jared never found out what they talked about; Jensen never told him. But he didn't have to. The fact that they both ended up marrying women they either hardly knew before or loved said more than anything Jensen could.
Jared shakes himself out of his wandering mind and realizes Jensen still hasn't replied. He lets the man's hand go and hugs him instead.
"What happened? It can't be worse than what we've done." Jared guffaws and hates the sound himself. Jensen stares blankly at the space before him.
"We’re going to have a kid," he says. "I'm going to LA for a couple of weeks for that. We'll do IVF."
But that's not something new. Jared tilts his head so he can see Jensen more clearly.
"Well, isn't that what we're supposed to do? I mean it's in the contract and all."
"But not this soon." Jensen grits his teeth. "I said it'd be near the end of Supernatural, not far before it. I want us-you and I-to look after the child and not..."
"Your wife," Jared supplies the words. He knows Jensen can't even mention them, or her name. Jensen nods.
"But my dad doesn't want to listen to me or understand. It's always kids, kids, kids he's talking about."
"He knows what your contract says, right?"
"Yes, and that's exactly why. It mentions an obligatory child. He wouldn't stop reminding me."
Jared tightens his hold on Jensen and presses their heads together. He closes his eyes. Jensen didn't say anything about Jared's son though he was the first person Jared told about it. They both wanted to have kids by the time Supernatural finishes for that very reason Jensen has mentioned, but things have not happened the way they preferred them to do. Jared sighs. Jensen leans into him.
"Something I really don't understand about your father, Jensen, is that he seems to be so against you being gay. I thought it would be no problem, you know, at least not too much. Hell, I thought my dad would be a lot tougher to accept me but he wasn't. I mean, your dad's sister is gay and he seems okay with that."
Jensen nuzzles into his neck. "He can't say anything about her. Aunt Jo is such a hardhead. But me-" Jensen takes a deep breath. "I’ve never been good enough for him. I didn’t go to college; I'm only an actor. He just finds it hard to be proud of me. Then he found out that I'm gay-"
"He's not proud of you? What kind of bullshit is that? Just look at you and look at him."
"Jared, don't say that."
"No. Jensen, you're the earth and sky compared to him. Look at you. You have your own TV show. You have thousands-or should I say millions?-fans around the world. You're lovely, talented, and kind. Have you ever heard a guest star or the crew badmouth you? I don't think so."
"Jared, stop it." But Jared can hear smile in Jensen's voice.
"No, I won't. I'm not finished. You are a good son. Everything you do is nothing if not to make your family happy. Your father is so wrong to not be proud of you and it's his loss."
By this time Jensen's been kissing Jared's face.
"Oh, and one more thing. I love you. Don't you ever doubt that. You always have me. When you feel inadequate, just turn to me and I will remind you how wonderful a person you are."
Jensen sniffles, his hand tightening in Jared's hair as he is practically all over Jared. His tears are flowing unchecked making Jared's face wet, but Jared can't bring himself to care.
"I love you," Jensen chants over and over. "I can't live without you."
"I'm not going anywhere. I never want to," he murmurs, cups Jensen's face and begins to inundate the person he loves so much with kisses, too, on his lips, nose, the lids of his eyes, and down to his neck before sneaking to nuzzle the back of Jensen's ear.
They are still tangled in others’ arms when a knock at the door interrupts them. With great reluctance Jared lets Jensen go and calls out.
"Yes?"
The trailer door opens with a soft click and someone, one of their PA's, peeks inside.
"Jared, Jensen? You're wanted on set in five." She leaves before either of them gets to reply.
Jared and Jensen exchange glances and Jared begins to frown, not because they're afraid of the fact that the girl found them together in Jensen's trailer during the break-it's not even a problem among the crew-but because they haven't had their lunch.
"You should eat something," Jared says.
Jensen shrugs. "I'm not hungry."
"But you didn't have breakfast, did you?" Jared lifts a forefinger as Jensen opens his mouth to protest. "U-uh. Don't lie to me."
"I'm not gonna lie. Okay, I didn't have breakfast but I'm not hungry, I swear. Besides-" His tone suddenly changes and Jared squints.
"What?"
"How about going out for dinner tonight? I feel like having the biggest steak as I'm sure I'll be hungry enough later."
"Huh? What time do you think we're going to finish?"
"Early enough, I hope."
"How do you know that? Phil said he wanted to finish some more scenes so tomorrow we won't have too many left to film."
Jensen pouts and jerks up, rubbing his face. "Okay, wet blanket, if you say so. Come on, let's head to make up." He sniffs exaggeratedly. "Thank you so much for making me cry, asshole."
Jared grabs Jensen's hand and pulls him hard, causing him to stumble into Jared's lap. Jensen yelps and Jared breaks into laughter that makes Jensen laugh, too. When the commotion subsides, they fall silent as they look into each other's eyes. Slowly their heads come closer and Jared kisses Jensen softly on the lips. Sighing, Jensen kisses back as he seems to melt against Jared's mouth.
:::
They end up finishing the filming around midnight and are completely drained as they wrap the last scene. It's impossible to go out afterward. That’s totally all right for Jared as he made sure that Jensen ate during the break on set. And he insists that he and Clif take Jensen home first.
"Whatever you say, bitch," Jensen grumbles.
"Jerk." Jared grins widely.
:::
This is like having a déjà vu. Jensen is late again and worse, he's still not arrived when Jared's been on set more than an hour. He refused to be picked when Jared suggested it last night. And Jared thought everything was all right.
"Is Ackles okay?" Jared turns at the voice behind him and pulls his cell from his ear. Phil is standing there giving him a questioning look.
"Tried to contact him several times already," Jared says.
"No answer?"
"No answer." Jared knows his attempt to hide his concern fails when Phil squeezes his shoulder.
"You talked for a long time yesterday. Anything I should know?"
"Everything's fine, Phil. I swear." But Jared grips his cell phone so tightly he's afraid he's going to break it. He lifts it to his ear. "I'm going to call him again."
Jared means it as a subtle sign for Phil to leave him alone but either the director doesn't understand or doesn't care since he stays. He's watching Jared as he redials Jensen's number and listens to unending waiting tones. Jared huffs. He feels like tossing the thing against a wall.
"You want to go see him?" Phil's soft voice startles him. "Or should I send someone to go check on him?"
There is no way Jared would let him send someone else.
"May I?" That sounds pitiful even for Jared. Phil doesn't even bat an eyelash.
"Go. Bring him here fast. I need our Dean."
"Thanks," he says, breathless. Jared practically bolts and meets Clif on his way.
"Clif, can I borrow the van?"
"Sure, dude." Clif tosses him the keys and Jared runs to the parking lot.
:::
"Jensen, you in there?" Jared knocks on the door. He wonders if Jensen's still home or already on his way. He knocks again. "Jen?"
Well, Jared has a key anyway and he produces it after there's still no answer, and he unlocks the door. It's so dark everywhere when he steps in and there is a distinctive smell coming from Jensen's bedroom. Jared's mouth purses as he pushes the bedroom door open.
"Jensen?" He switches on the light to find out no one is in the bed and the comforter is half on the bed and half on the floor. Jared's heart begins to pound. "Jensen!" His gaze sweeps around the room and he darts to the bathroom. There kneeling on the floor is Jensen, hugging the toilet.
"Jesus Christ. Jensen, what's the matter with you?"
Right after the last word left Jared's mouth, Jensen retches into the bowl but he's only dry heaving now.
"God, Jen." Jared squats down and rubs Jensen's neck and down to his back. Jensen heaves and spits several more times and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
"You done?" Jared asks.
Jensen nods and scrambles to his feet. Jared helps him up to the sink. Jensen gargles to wash his mouth out and heads out of the bathroom. Jared never lets him go.
"God, you're burning up."
"I'm okay." But Jensen's voice is hoarse from throwing up.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I told you."
Suddenly Jared feels like blowing up. "Nothing doesn't make you crawl from your bed to bend over the toilet and throw up the entire contents of your stomach."
Jensen visibly cringes as he wraps himself in the blanket like a cocoon.
"I-I'm sorry," he says quietly, his knuckles turning pale as he grips the comforter tightly.
"No, don't be sorry-"
"My stomach doesn't feel too good..."
"Damn it, Jensen," Jared mutters. "Did you take anything?"
Jensen shakes his head. Jared smoothes his hair back.
"I'll get you something. Don't go anywhere."
Jensen smiles a little at Jared's lame attempt to joke. He looks pale and tired and his eyes have begun to droop. Jared fights an urge to just stay and wrap him up in his arms.
He finds a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in the kitchen and takes a glass of water, too. But back in the room he finds Jensen is fast asleep. Jared sighs as his heart clenches. He knows Jensen hasn't eaten well for the past couple of days. The stress he's been under for thinking about what his dad asked him to do must have taken its toll and his body can't take it anymore. Suddenly Jared feels his blood begin to boil. He has to put the bottle and glass carefully on the nightstand before he breaks them both. Fishing into his jeans pocket for his cell, he browses through the numbers. As he waits for the connection to establish, Jared sneaks quietly out of the room. Someone picks up the call at the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Ackles? It's Jared."
:::
Jared's sitting and leaning against the headboard with half of Jensen's body lying on him. He smiles to himself every time he remembers the phone call he made to Jensen's father that included words such as love Jensen very much, would do anything for him, you made him stressed, and elope. Jensen's father was rendered quiet for a moment and finally promised to let his son do what he wants. That was good enough for Jared and he gave his word they would do exactly what the contracts said.
He had then returned to the room and woke Jensen up for his medicine before he got worse. Fortunately it seemed that Jensen’s stomach was no longer upset and he soon fell asleep again on Jared's lap as Jared slowly ran his fingers in his hair.
"You look like a cat that got its canary." Jensen's sleepy voice startles him. Jared looks down and finds Jensen's eyes at him.
"Because I did just get my canary."
"What did you do?" Jensen asks, frowning.
"Nothing. Ssh. Go back to sleep."
"I feel better. I'd like to go to the set."
"You're kidding, right?" Jared traps Jensen with an arm over his chest. "You're sick. I called Phil already and he agreed that we were off for today. He said they were working with the second unit."
Jensen goes still and finally relaxes. "Okay." He tries to remove Jared's hand but fails. "Jay, I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh, all right." Jared releases him and slides down to lie next to Jensen. He fixes the comforter over both of them and pulls Jensen closer. "C'mere babe."
"Don't you 'babe' me," Jensen mutters but he complies, snuggling into Jared's body, resting his head on Jared's firm chest. Jensen's face feels good against Jared’s chest, soft and warm. Jensen looks a lot better with color returning to his cheeks.
"I'll babe you whenever I want," Jared murmurs as he wraps himself around Jensen's body.
He won't tell Jensen that he talked to his father and threatened him a bit. No one hurts Jensen and gets away with it.
:::