The one thing I may never have in life.
Lately I have been trying to figure out what it is in life I am missing. I feel empty and sadness overhead. I have been thinking the one thing in life that could make me happy is a gentilman. His name is Ricky and belongs to a band called plastic parachute. I love him more than I love myself, and that isnt even the saddest thing of it all, he doesnt know how much of an impact he has made, He is my true happiness. I have told myself that I would never have kids, well if I were to be with him I would consider the possiblility of doing so. I cry every night in sorrow because I miss him and I cant call him to hang out. He moved to california and I blame myself for him having to move out there. Everytime his name is mentioned my eyes become flooded with tears. I would give up everything I am doing just to be with him and even quit everything that is bad and mantain my health if the opportunity were to arise. Last night I drempt that he got married to some other chick. I felt like taking a sharp object to my heart and repetitivly stabing myself to see the pain that his new love had caused me. I want to tell him that I love him, but I am afraid to. Any advice