Just try to hang onto your house. If you do that, and live to tell the tale of survival, you will have succeeded.
Being depressed sucks. I hate it too. I avoid posting in my blog many times because all I have is whiny stuff to say and I figure my friends don't need to hear that. Plus, it's not the image I want to project for myself.
So I find myself not posting until I can post about something fun. Which is ridiculous. Because when you post your sad posts, I don't think you shouldn't have. I feel honored and happy that you felt you could share these things with me. And it makes me want to hug you. And it makes me want to hug me. Because it makes me realise that I am ok too.
Now, back to you . . .
You are great Ion, this is just the shittiest year ever. I have debt falling out of the sky this year. Things I could never have predicted. And I was so proud of myself when I bought the condo and had figured out my budget for the whole year. I was set. I was fine.
Then things just started dropping out of hell.
And I still carry around a lot of anger about the way that certain person treated me, whom I shall not bore you with. I still think about him all the time, but not with any kind of longing any more. Just with anger. But even that depresses and scares me. I don't want to be this angry all the time, but I have reasoned it out. I know my anger is justified. He did treat me like crap. I don't have to forgive him. He hasn't learned his lesson. if he did, I might consider it, but I found out he has no clue (or desire to know) what he did wrong. The best thing about trying to reacquaint with him was that it reminded me what an ass he is.
Ok, tangent.
Sorry about that.
Anyhow. I'm trying to think of a way to help, without actually being there. I can't make you do anything, but I'm thinking maybe all this extra pressure is making you not do anything, so I have a question for you:
Does it matter if you get the same quality of job you had before? Would it make you feel better to just get out and do something? If so, then would you consider applying for a job below the level you've been used to doing, just to get yourself restarted again? It might even turn out to be more fun than you think.
I don't know what that would be, but I'm not suggesting McDonald's or anything. But maybe something. Maybe you have an idea in your head right now. Maybe part-time in a library, or something. I don't know.
Or maybe volunteering for something you really care about. Kids? Sick people? Green initiatives?
Just trying to come up with something helpful. And thanks for posting.
If I didn't already love you before this message, I would love you for just writing this.
"Being depressed sucks. I avoid posting in my blog many times because all I have is whiny stuff to say and I figure my friends don't need to hear that. Plus, it's not the image I want to project for myself.
So I find myself not posting until I can post about something fun. Which is ridiculous. Because when you post your sad posts, I don't think you shouldn't have. I feel honored and happy that you felt you could share these things with me. And it makes me want to hug you. And it makes me want to hug me. Because it makes me realise that I am ok too."
This is exactly the way I feel. Exactly. When I read your words, I shed tears of relief. Thank you, You wonderful, beautiful woman. I am going to get through this. If for no other reason than to come to Halifax and hold you in my arms and tell you "Thank you", in person for giving a damn about me. That means more to me right now then you will ever know. I don't feel so alone. And for that, I love you.
Thank you. I wouldn't trade you for a million dollars. But if I ever get that much, I'll share half of it with you.
Re: Dear FriendkristaolmsteadDecember 9 2008, 12:07:56 UTC
I'm glad. It does inspire me to make a few more of my posts too, just to let you know what is up with me. It means just as much to me that you care about me too. This virtual internet world we all have these days is a bit odd, but thank god we have it.
Being depressed sucks. I hate it too. I avoid posting in my blog many times because all I have is whiny stuff to say and I figure my friends don't need to hear that. Plus, it's not the image I want to project for myself.
So I find myself not posting until I can post about something fun. Which is ridiculous. Because when you post your sad posts, I don't think you shouldn't have. I feel honored and happy that you felt you could share these things with me. And it makes me want to hug you. And it makes me want to hug me. Because it makes me realise that I am ok too.
Now, back to you . . .
You are great Ion, this is just the shittiest year ever. I have debt falling out of the sky this year. Things I could never have predicted. And I was so proud of myself when I bought the condo and had figured out my budget for the whole year. I was set. I was fine.
Then things just started dropping out of hell.
And I still carry around a lot of anger about the way that certain person treated me, whom I shall not bore you with. I still think about him all the time, but not with any kind of longing any more. Just with anger. But even that depresses and scares me. I don't want to be this angry all the time, but I have reasoned it out. I know my anger is justified. He did treat me like crap. I don't have to forgive him. He hasn't learned his lesson. if he did, I might consider it, but I found out he has no clue (or desire to know) what he did wrong. The best thing about trying to reacquaint with him was that it reminded me what an ass he is.
Ok, tangent.
Sorry about that.
Anyhow. I'm trying to think of a way to help, without actually being there. I can't make you do anything, but I'm thinking maybe all this extra pressure is making you not do anything, so I have a question for you:
Does it matter if you get the same quality of job you had before? Would it make you feel better to just get out and do something? If so, then would you consider applying for a job below the level you've been used to doing, just to get yourself restarted again? It might even turn out to be more fun than you think.
I don't know what that would be, but I'm not suggesting McDonald's or anything. But maybe something. Maybe you have an idea in your head right now. Maybe part-time in a library, or something. I don't know.
Or maybe volunteering for something you really care about. Kids? Sick people? Green initiatives?
Just trying to come up with something helpful. And thanks for posting.
Reply
"Being depressed sucks. I avoid posting in my blog many times because all I have is whiny stuff to say and I figure my friends don't need to hear that. Plus, it's not the image I want to project for myself.
So I find myself not posting until I can post about something fun. Which is ridiculous. Because when you post your sad posts, I don't think you shouldn't have. I feel honored and happy that you felt you could share these things with me. And it makes me want to hug you. And it makes me want to hug me. Because it makes me realise that I am ok too."
This is exactly the way I feel. Exactly. When I read your words, I shed tears of relief. Thank you, You wonderful, beautiful woman. I am going to get through this. If for no other reason than to come to Halifax and hold you in my arms and tell you "Thank you", in person for giving a damn about me. That means more to me right now then you will ever know. I don't feel so alone. And for that, I love you.
Thank you. I wouldn't trade you for a million dollars. But if I ever get that much, I'll share half of it with you.
As Always,
Your Friend,
Thomas
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