MCR Death Drabble #5: Ray
Title: The MCR Death Drabbles
Fandom: My Chemical Romance
Rating: PG-13 ish
Warning: DEATH(S).
Notes: This also gave up being a drabble early on. The shark thing is originally from the end of #4, where Brian tells Ray "Don't go wrestling any sharks," but I ultimately cut it out because it didn't fit with where the dialogue was headed. Unfortunately, this means that some of the joke here is lost, which I hopefully just made up for in this long-winded note. :P Okay, I added the shark thing into the last one (almost a year after writing it). So I want my jokes to make sense. Sue me.
5. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR WRESTLING SHARKS
No one was ever quite sure what happened to Ray. The only clue to his disappearance was a sodden chunk of familiar curls washed up on the beach a couple of weeks after anyone had last heard from him. Some said there’d been an increase in shark sightings recently, others hypothesized that he’d had some sort of run-in with the mafia-it was Jersey, after all. Yet others insisted a deranged fan was involved. In the end, even after weeks of investigation, absolutely nothing had been discovered, and people were left with their own conclusions.
Everyone was notified, of course, and Cortez and Brian were warned to be on their guard, especially after it was discovered that Otter wasn’t answering his cell phone and his message inbox was full. Brian took the news well-or better than Cortez, at least. Within a couple weeks, Matt developed an acute case of paranoia, convinced he would be next. Unsurprisingly, or perhaps surprisingly, nothing ever actually happened to him. This didn’t keep him from deteriorating into a mess of nerves, finally checking himself into a hospital under a false name. Matt then spent the rest of his days in a small white room where if he didn’t feel completely secure, he at least knew he wouldn’t fall prey to a booby-trapped microwave or car bomb or something.
Brian, on the other hand, went through an (admittedly justified) period of depression, partially fueled by irrational guilt--he had been their manager, he was supposed to take care of them, so obviously it was all his fault--barely even leaving the house, until the evening he finally dragged himself off the couch and down to a bar. He spent the night getting shitfaced, winding up in a field at two am, screaming things along the lines of “If you’d even listened to me about those fucking cigarettes...” and “God dammit, I was fucking kidding about the motherfucking sharks, okay?!? It wasn't meant as a god damn suggestion!” at the top of his lungs. Things were better after that.
He still sends letters to Cortez, which the nurses read to Matt through the intercom (opening your own mail is a very good way to get anthrax, he always says). Matt dictates letters back the same way, detailing all the attempts on his life that he’s managed to thwart that day. Brian puts up with it, rolling his eyes, though he always secretly wonders how many of those attempts were products of Cortez's paranoid imagination, and how many were actually valid parts of this effort to wipe out every last bit of My Chemical Romance.
THE END
Back to #4
Fandom: My Chemical Romance
Rating: PG-13 ish
Warning: DEATH(S).
Notes: This also gave up being a drabble early on. The shark thing is originally from the end of #4, where Brian tells Ray "Don't go wrestling any sharks," but I ultimately cut it out because it didn't fit with where the dialogue was headed. Unfortunately, this means that some of the joke here is lost, which I hopefully just made up for in this long-winded note. :P Okay, I added the shark thing into the last one (almost a year after writing it). So I want my jokes to make sense. Sue me.
5. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR WRESTLING SHARKS
No one was ever quite sure what happened to Ray. The only clue to his disappearance was a sodden chunk of familiar curls washed up on the beach a couple of weeks after anyone had last heard from him. Some said there’d been an increase in shark sightings recently, others hypothesized that he’d had some sort of run-in with the mafia-it was Jersey, after all. Yet others insisted a deranged fan was involved. In the end, even after weeks of investigation, absolutely nothing had been discovered, and people were left with their own conclusions.
Everyone was notified, of course, and Cortez and Brian were warned to be on their guard, especially after it was discovered that Otter wasn’t answering his cell phone and his message inbox was full. Brian took the news well-or better than Cortez, at least. Within a couple weeks, Matt developed an acute case of paranoia, convinced he would be next. Unsurprisingly, or perhaps surprisingly, nothing ever actually happened to him. This didn’t keep him from deteriorating into a mess of nerves, finally checking himself into a hospital under a false name. Matt then spent the rest of his days in a small white room where if he didn’t feel completely secure, he at least knew he wouldn’t fall prey to a booby-trapped microwave or car bomb or something.
Brian, on the other hand, went through an (admittedly justified) period of depression, partially fueled by irrational guilt--he had been their manager, he was supposed to take care of them, so obviously it was all his fault--barely even leaving the house, until the evening he finally dragged himself off the couch and down to a bar. He spent the night getting shitfaced, winding up in a field at two am, screaming things along the lines of “If you’d even listened to me about those fucking cigarettes...” and “God dammit, I was fucking kidding about the motherfucking sharks, okay?!? It wasn't meant as a god damn suggestion!” at the top of his lungs. Things were better after that.
He still sends letters to Cortez, which the nurses read to Matt through the intercom (opening your own mail is a very good way to get anthrax, he always says). Matt dictates letters back the same way, detailing all the attempts on his life that he’s managed to thwart that day. Brian puts up with it, rolling his eyes, though he always secretly wonders how many of those attempts were products of Cortez's paranoid imagination, and how many were actually valid parts of this effort to wipe out every last bit of My Chemical Romance.
THE END
Back to #4