Synagogue Woes

[iolanthe_rosa]

I'm having such a crisis of faith right now. Actually, it's not a crisis of faith, because I'm a fairly hardened atheist, but I've always nevertheless had a part of my brain that demanded spiritual care and feeding, and I find that it is no longer being fed by my synagogue. There are three legs to my problem's stool:

Comments

[xclairedelune]

Yeah..Sue had not been happy with our synagogue for a couple of years, but daughter #1 had been bat mitzvahed a couple of year ago and then was daughter #2's time last year, and every aspect of the hoops she had to go through were like fingernails on glass for her. She basically has not returned since #2's bat mitzvah and is retaining membership only because it has meaning for her husband. She has, however, entered the marathon conveyor belt, so maybe there are those who need to be on the belt in one form or another.

In a family such as ours where control is such part of our DNA, the Bat mitzvah conveyor belt has taken control away from you and that is probably the stress you are feeling. However, it is temporary....and I would say just suck it up and it will be over in a few months.

Life, however, is a series of conveyor belts....and for some there are no choices...the elementary school, high school college track was (for our family anyhow) essential and each track has its own conveyor belt. I think it is only a problem if a parent makes child stay on a conveyor belt that is not working.

All that said, one can pick and choose aspects of the belt to jump on and jump off or even if you want to get onto that particular belt. I think the thing is to make sure the child knows that the “belt” is (almost) not always a requirement and free choice is so so so important.

[iolanthe_rosa]

Yes, I think you're exactly right that my control freak nature is offended on every level by this process.

Well, Bea has informed me that she is getting off the Judaism belt as soon as her bat mitzvah is over, which makes me sad, but it's her choice.

[zarchasmpgmr]

Well, Bea has informed me that she is getting off the Judaism belt as soon as her bat mitzvah is over, which makes me sad, but it's her choice.

Could this possibly be from her own experiences with the Conservative shul? It's an just an idea from this latent Episcopalian, but exposing her to the more open environment of a Reform synagogue might be a good change of pace.