Real life
You know what? Nobody ever tells you that real life NEVER STOPS. And I MISS hyper focus.
Have you seen those ADD pie charts? Wait, lemme get them.
So, this is my brain a big part of the time without Ritalin. It SUCKS.
This is my brain a smaller portion of the time without Ritalin. It is GODLIKE the way the rest of the world disappears and I can completely invest myself into something. Unfortunately I can't pick what it goes to so sometimes it's the internet or something awful. But when it's right? When it's art or writing and the world disappears? It's amazing.
The thing is? it's rare for that to happen. It's rare and only happens when my brain isn't medicated. Spending less time unmedicated drops the likelihood WAY down. It has only happened once since I started taking ritalin, and that was when I redecorated the kitchen/dining room.
This is the regular thing. Most brains. My brain with Ritalin. Look at how much stuff I am thinking about all the time, while STILL being able to do what I need to do! LOOK AT IT!
That's a lot of stuff, all the time... and I guess that's what being a functional adult is all about but OMG is it overwhelming.
And it points to the first thing I need to learn how to do, as opposed to having it just fall effortlessly into my lap like everything else I've discovered while being on Ritalin.
I need to re-teach myself to be truly still. I also need to learn not to expect to be able to let go of the things I need to keep track of... weird.
Have you seen those ADD pie charts? Wait, lemme get them.
So, this is my brain a big part of the time without Ritalin. It SUCKS.
This is my brain a smaller portion of the time without Ritalin. It is GODLIKE the way the rest of the world disappears and I can completely invest myself into something. Unfortunately I can't pick what it goes to so sometimes it's the internet or something awful. But when it's right? When it's art or writing and the world disappears? It's amazing.
The thing is? it's rare for that to happen. It's rare and only happens when my brain isn't medicated. Spending less time unmedicated drops the likelihood WAY down. It has only happened once since I started taking ritalin, and that was when I redecorated the kitchen/dining room.
This is the regular thing. Most brains. My brain with Ritalin. Look at how much stuff I am thinking about all the time, while STILL being able to do what I need to do! LOOK AT IT!
That's a lot of stuff, all the time... and I guess that's what being a functional adult is all about but OMG is it overwhelming.
And it points to the first thing I need to learn how to do, as opposed to having it just fall effortlessly into my lap like everything else I've discovered while being on Ritalin.
I need to re-teach myself to be truly still. I also need to learn not to expect to be able to let go of the things I need to keep track of... weird.