and maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.

[inyourvain]

i did a lot of thinking last night before i went to bed.

i was in the hospital when i was four years old and i remember almost every moment spent in there. the most vivid memory i have of that time is one that isn't sad or something that makes your heart break. it makes me smile. it was a few days after i had been admitted. a lot of people came to see me. but most importantly, he came with his family. i can picture it perfectly in my mind. we were so young, but it meant so much. he had picked out a stuffed animal dog to give to me. once he had given it to me i slept with it every night until we moved out of the old house. it was packed away in a box that's now sitting in the attic and has been since we moved here. i don't know exactly where it is but i missed it a lot then and i still do now. yesterday on the phone we were talking about it and i think he has his own, the same one. i couldn't fall asleep last night so i went up to the attic to look for it. after about an hour i found it. needless to say, i slept soundly last night. i saw him this morning and saw in his eyes that little boy that gave me the stuffed dog when i was sick in the hospital. the one who would always come over and play with me. the one who would always end up falling down when he tried to help me up after i had fallen. the one who would hug me like the world was ending, the way little kids hug their parents.

it's those simple things from your past that you remember. the ones that make you smile. the ones that dry your tears when you're having a bad day.

i love you.