everything reminds me of her.
Ive been constantly reminded of all the good things today, putting iTunes on party shuffle and hearing random shit that only she would have even known to look for. Kinda makes me feel warm inside as i waste the day away playing Final Fantasy. I'm a nerd, i know.
And then come the "if only"s. If only this, if only that... better not think on that too long. Even though things seem so shady between us when we are apart, when we are around eachother I dont even think about it. She cant trust me... sometimes i dont know about her either. To be honest i dont really understand why we continue as we do, but i like it... mostly.
No one even comes close. The comfortable intimacy is something i wont find for a very long time. The problem is that i havbe no idea what to fill the void with. I still stay up too late. I smoke a bit too much. I cant focus at times. Its starting to affect school.
So heres the deal...
Are we all just big kids...
or are we actually growing up? I wish i could. I wish they could. I wish she could.
But maybe its not about that. I cant keep worrying about this.
And then come the "if only"s. If only this, if only that... better not think on that too long. Even though things seem so shady between us when we are apart, when we are around eachother I dont even think about it. She cant trust me... sometimes i dont know about her either. To be honest i dont really understand why we continue as we do, but i like it... mostly.
No one even comes close. The comfortable intimacy is something i wont find for a very long time. The problem is that i havbe no idea what to fill the void with. I still stay up too late. I smoke a bit too much. I cant focus at times. Its starting to affect school.
So heres the deal...
Are we all just big kids...
or are we actually growing up? I wish i could. I wish they could. I wish she could.
But maybe its not about that. I cant keep worrying about this.