for lack of a real entry
some favorite quotes lately:
Mom: "The cable was hiding under your swords."
me: "Not to mention that it has Jimmy Stewart. He's the love of my life. Isn't it tragic?"
Lori: "He's dead, you know."
me: "That's why it's tragic."
Mom: "And he was happily married..."
me: "See? Tragic!"
Dad: "Not to mention-"
me: "Like I said! Tragic!"
"I'm really into sky blue right now."
me: "You about done growing?"
Josiah: "I think I'll take a week off."
a Professor: "[example of bad behavior], I will kick you out of this course."
Mike: "I just really want to kiss her."
Me: "You should go for it."
Mike: "I'd probably get her allergies."
Dr. Borders: "I always like to go into Christmas with something really dark and depressing."
Kathryn: "Are you going to nail Han Solo?" (as I borrow her hammer)
Julie: "Did you find your clock yet?"
me: "Yeah, but I forgot to bring your bathroom clock back. Can I bring it to you tomorrow?"
Julie: "Well, I'll just have to wing it when I time myself going to the bathroom."
The weekend before I returned to AU, my family and I went to the house of our dear dear friends for dinner and plans to see How the West was Won, an old movie playing as part of the Hot Times Cool Films festival in Dayton. I was excited to see the family we were visiting and to see a movie with Jimmy, the aforementioned love of my life. This family is composed of (names changed to protect the innocent): Anne, my mom's longterm best friend; Mike, the father who is recovering from colon cancer (he was in the same hospital as Aunt Anna, so we would visit them at the same times); Tracy, the oldest who is now married and has a little girl; Michael, the son my age (our moms were pregnant with us together; Michael took me to my senior homecoming.); and Joseph, the son a year older than Molly or so.
I hadn't seen them all in a long time. We got there with much hugging, but when we actually got into the house, there was a girl that I didn't know. I can't remember her name, so I'm just going to call her Cheri, because I think it was something like that. She was introduced to us as being from North Dakota and going to Michael's college in Kentucky. Immediately, the oddest sensation attacked me. I felt very territorial. Don't worry, I didn't pee on the furniture, but for some reason I did not feel like welcoming this new girl just yet. She seemed nice enough, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I should clarify that I have no designs on Michael. He's a good man. He really is. But I really do not have an interest in him. And no, this wasn't just one of those "I'm deluding myself" things.
Anyway, I tried chatting with her and being busy in the kitchen and bantering about NASCAR, but I found myself analyzing her interactions with Michael. A few hours later, some of us were seated in the theatre, waiting for the others. I leaned to ask Anne if Cheri was a romantic interest. "Nope," she explained. Her ride from the Cinci airport had fallen through, and Michael went down to get her and house her before they moved back into their college Sunday or so. Then Anne mentioned that Michael was probably still getting over Candace. It all rushed back. I remembered Mom telling me about some girl who had absolutely crushed Michael and that everyone was really worried about him. I think she had been his first serious girlfriend, and he was very serious about it. Then she stabbed him in the back somehow; I don't remember the particulars. But Anne telling me about it all over, I could feel the blood rushing and my eyes going dry and wide. "Do I need to hunt this girl down?" I asked Anne, whose mother-bear heart suggested that I should.
I figured out then why I was feeling so protective of Michael. Even though I hadn't remembered any actual events or persons involved, I remembered somehow that this had happened to him, and the chance that he was going to get played the same way made all of my senses stand on end, so to speak. No way was I going to let this happen to him again. Like I could prevent anything. I mean, I know that I have no power here, and I know that he can fight his own battles, but going back and reading his blog and seeing his heart break in retrospect broke my own heart. Michael and I aren't close in the sense that most people would use, but he's like family. When I find out that something has happened to them, I am ready to go into action to kick some serious butt and put on the angriest face in my collection or do whatever else is necessary - whatever else - to protect them, defend them, help them, or heal them. Sometimes the vehemence of these feelings scares me. Although, it always scares me when my emotions overrule my rationale.
I'm not sure what the point of relating all this is. I just haven't been able to get over someone hurting Michael that much and my own powerlessness in situations like these. I pray that he will find a woman worthy of his huge heart and his strength and his loyalty. And the next one who hurts him is fair game.
peace, love, and classes that you're not in but in which you're allowed to participate. Tomorrow I'm reading Ecclesiastes in the cemetery with one of Jenna's Old Testament classes. It's going to be amazing.