(no subject)
So. I guess I've been stepping on a few toes lately. I'm sorry. Sort of. I know I'll feel sorry when I get out of this funk, but right now I don't actauly feel sorry. I don't feel much of anything right now. I'm very blank.
Listen. I'm really easy to take advantage of. Anyone who actualy reads this fucking livejournal doesn't take advantage of me. But that doesn't change my point. When shit happens to me, it happens to me in barrelfulls, so most of the time I'm just looking for the one little bit of hope that will make me feel better.
I've been feeling negleted, that's all. When I feel that way, I tend to get very cold towards people and make things worse because they don't understand what I'm doing. I'm sorry that I was that way. Really. I just wanted someone this weekend to fucking think about me and my mother fucking problems. But once again, I had to take a back seat to other people's problems.
Sorry, I mean... sorry that I'm talking about your problems like that. I'm not trying to dismiss them, by no means. It's just that, I wish everyone could disearn thier biggest problems and bitch about those when I'm like this. Little problems don't take time or any thought at all. But they certainly take up most of the bitching, don't they?
I guess I should be more straight forward about how I'm feeling. But most of the time when people are in a bad mood, they don't want to hear that I'm in a bad mood and have my own little life with it's own problems.
I feel like I've shaped most of my life based on other people's feelings and problems. Never thier thoughts, but thier feelings and problems. Might be why I have a hard time feeling strongly about anything. Except for Emmu, she's one person that I had my own feelings about from the begining.
So go off and fix your other problems before you want to deal with mine. Becuase I really hate my feelings affect people's lives as much as thiers affect mine. That sounds sarcastic and mean. But I mean it compleatly. Put me in the mother fucking back seat. I can take care of myself until you're ready to have a decent conversation with me.
Listen. I'm really easy to take advantage of. Anyone who actualy reads this fucking livejournal doesn't take advantage of me. But that doesn't change my point. When shit happens to me, it happens to me in barrelfulls, so most of the time I'm just looking for the one little bit of hope that will make me feel better.
I've been feeling negleted, that's all. When I feel that way, I tend to get very cold towards people and make things worse because they don't understand what I'm doing. I'm sorry that I was that way. Really. I just wanted someone this weekend to fucking think about me and my mother fucking problems. But once again, I had to take a back seat to other people's problems.
Sorry, I mean... sorry that I'm talking about your problems like that. I'm not trying to dismiss them, by no means. It's just that, I wish everyone could disearn thier biggest problems and bitch about those when I'm like this. Little problems don't take time or any thought at all. But they certainly take up most of the bitching, don't they?
I guess I should be more straight forward about how I'm feeling. But most of the time when people are in a bad mood, they don't want to hear that I'm in a bad mood and have my own little life with it's own problems.
I feel like I've shaped most of my life based on other people's feelings and problems. Never thier thoughts, but thier feelings and problems. Might be why I have a hard time feeling strongly about anything. Except for Emmu, she's one person that I had my own feelings about from the begining.
So go off and fix your other problems before you want to deal with mine. Becuase I really hate my feelings affect people's lives as much as thiers affect mine. That sounds sarcastic and mean. But I mean it compleatly. Put me in the mother fucking back seat. I can take care of myself until you're ready to have a decent conversation with me.