Aroma -- Chapter 02
Title: Aroma
Chapters: 02/??
Author: invisiblehabits
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Malexmale sex, abuse, character death, violence, murder, fluff
Pairing: Tora/Hiroto, Saga/Shou
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t know. Won’t make money, unless you feel like paying me to read.
Summary: “Oh you are the worst liar ever, Shou!” There was a knock on the door. “That’s Tora, I’ve got to go. You need to tell Mr. What’s-his-name that you’ve been having wet dreams about him since the first time you met.”
Comments: This took forever and three days to post! But it's up, yay!
- - -
Tora loved the way Hiroto’s eyes lit up and a big smile broke out on his lips as Tora himself exited the bank, throwing his jacket on as he walked. “Sorry I’m late,” he said and leaned down to gently kiss the other. “I had a rather…troublesome customer.”
“Another old lady?” Hiroto giggled as they began to walk briskly down the street, remembering the taller’s livid speech on that clientele group down to the syllable.
“Nope, an eighteen-year-old brat who just got access to his inherited fortune. Son of a bitch thought he knew more about investing money than I do!”
Hiroto bit his lip hard not to burst out laughing at the offended tone of Tora’s voice. Over the past three weeks since their first date, he’d gotten very familiar with the taller’s quirks, including possessiveness and a rather unique sense of pride. The first one had been evident as he woke up after their first night together, sticky with sweat and with a sated feeling still lingering in his body. Tora had still been asleep, but when Hiroto tried to move, the strong arms around his waist had tightened, as if daring him to try and sneak away.
He hadn’t, of course. They were at his place so there wasn’t really anywhere he could’ve gone off to anyway. Instead he’d snuggled up closer to the strong chest and sort of snoozed for half an hour more until Tora started stirring and waking up as well. Three weeks later that morning scenario had repeated itself no less than fourteen times, in both their apartments.
“Do you still get an hour lunch or do you have to be back by two?”
Tora grimaced badly. “I have to be back by two, sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Hiroto laughed. “It’s not your fault the brat wouldn’t shut up. Besides, you’re coming over tonight, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, don’t know what I’d do alone on a Friday night anymore.”
What had started as a chance meeting had definitely turned into a budding relationship. Everything felt a little bit too good to be true, but Hiroto was not one to think in such ways. Yes, it was quite amazing to think that someone as gorgeous as Tora would actually fall in love with him. He was younger -five whole years, they had discovered- and no way near as mature as his new boyfriend. And though he was often told he was the epitome of innocent cuteness, Hiroto had simply never found his own looks all that appealing. Not like he found his mirror image ugly or anything. It was just…there were more beautiful men out there. Like Tora, for instance.
“Where do you want to go?” the older asked. “I’ll pay since I was late.”
They tried to each lunch together as often as they could. It was a nice way to meet up and it was also a lot more fun not to have to eat alone. Normally, they would each pay separately or they’d take turns and pay every other time. But today Tora figured that since their time spent together would be cut short, he’d treat his new boyfriend.
“I want fried noodles,” Hiroto replied. “For some reason I’ve been craving them all day!”
Tora laughed and wrapped his arm around the short man. “Alright then. I know a pretty good place two blocks away.”
- - -
“So everything is going well between you and Tora?”
“Yeah, he’s coming over tonight.”
Shou’s melodic laughter filtered through the phone line. “Do the two of you ever spend a night apart?”
But he was happy for his friends. Hiroto could tell. And he was happy too, Not only because he had found someone he truly cared about and who seemed to truly care about him, but since the night where Shou introduced him to Tora for the first time, the two childhood friends had intensified their contact as well.
“Oh shut it!” he laughed. “We do spend time apart. What is this about, you jealous?”
There was a semi-offended snort. “No thank you, you can keep the tiger all to yourself.”
“I intend too, thank you very much.” Hiroto smiled fondly at the thought of the tall dark beauty. It really was strange to think that Tora was his to keep. “What about yourself, are you even going to introduce me to that hottie you’ve been talking about for as long as I can remember?”
Shou huffed rather than snorted this time. It was a sound landing somewhere in between offended and embarrassed. “I have not spoken of him since forever! It’s been like…a year or something.”
“And that’s not bad enough?” Hiroto laughed. “You took that class together and have met up with him regularly ever since. Have you ever hinted on the fact that you’re interested in him?”
“Yes! Well…no…maybe.”
“Oh you are the worst liar ever, Shou!” There was a knock on the door. “That’s Tora, I’ve got to go. You need to tell Mr. What’s-his-name that you’ve been having wet dreams about him since the first time you met.”
“I have not!” There was a slight pause. “Okay, so I have, but that’s not the point. And his name is Saga!”
“Alright, then tell Saga that you want him to fuck you up against the wall already!” Hiroto laughed at yet another huff. “Take care, Shou. Good night.”
Ending the call, he carelessly dropped the phone into the couch as he bounced over to the door. Tora had his hand raised to knock a second time, still not comfortable with just walking in on his own, as the door swung open.
“I was starting to think you weren’t at home,” he said and entered.
Dropping a workout bag he took off his shoes and jacket. He’d been to the gym just before coming over and assumed he didn’t smell like strawberries and rose petals at the moment. To spare Hiroto a little bit he merely gave the other man a peck in greeting, which was still enough to have the shorter wrinkle his nose slightly.
“No, I was on the phone with Shou. And you really need a shower.”
Tora chuckled in understanding. He’d been friends with the other blonde long enough to know his inability to end phone calls. “I was hoping you’d join me,” he confessed in regards to the shower comment. “Which is why I didn’t shower at the gym.”
“You just have an unhealthy obsession with shower sex, that’s all,” Hiroto countered.
Not that he objected to the idea of course. Ever since their first shower together, enjoyed once Tora had finally woken up that very first morning, Hiroto found it utterly boring to shower alone. It didn’t matter if they had sex or not, he just liked standing under the warm spray together and feel hands other hand his own massage shampoo into his hair or lather his body up with soap. It was a matter of being close and intimate rather than sexual. At least to him.
“Will you join me?” Tora was already on his way to the bathroom, pulling the sweatshirt over his head.
Hiroto rolled his eyes. “Go wash that smell off your body. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
- - -
Spring had definitely arrived. The mornings were still chilly and it was not wise to leave home without a jacket, but on sunny days like today it was wonderful to sit outdoors. The fact that it was a Saturday and that both of them were free to do whatever they wanted the entire day didn’t exactly decrease the feeling that life was good.
It was currently 11am and Hiroto sighed happily as he let warm sunshine wash over his face. Tora studied him closely while sipping his coffee, preferring the bitter taste over tea any day. The younger man looked so happy and content right then. Hair brushed back to let the sun bathe over him, camera hung somewhat carelessly over the back of his chair and a few crumbles from the croissant he’d just enjoyed still visible at the corner of his mouth. It all made Tora smile fondly.
But something was missing, or so the itch in his veins told him. Putting the coffee down he reached into his jacket pocket, the garment having been discarded onto a different chair in the warmth, and retrieved a package of cigarettes. Hiroto peaked an eye open at the sound of the flickering lighter.
“You would make an awesome rock star you know,” he said and quickly went for his own cigarettes, the two of them disagreeing sharply as far as brands went.
Tora almost choked on the smoke as he laughed shortly. “How so?”
“You look too freaking hot wearing sunglasses and smoking.”
The older grinned wide. To this day it amused him that Hiroto found him so hot, yet still the younger never seemed uncomfortable around him. He liked it, though. Too often people were almost intimidated by his looks and his size. Not to mention when they got to know him a little bit and realized that the darkness didn’t stop at the hair.
“Does it ever bother you?” he asked.
“What, that you’re hot enough for every woman and half the men at this coffee shop to want you?” Hiroto retorted and took a long drag at his cigarette.
Tora grinned, the feline expression that had pleasant chills run down Hiroto’s back. “No, I’ve come to understand that you like the fact that I’m hot. I was referring to…”
“Your ‘thing’?” Hiroto supplied. It was what he called the dark tinge within his lover. He was as unable as Tora himself to identify what it was, but where others had apparently been intimidated by it he just found it incredibly hot. “Not in the slightest. I like it, whatever it is.”
Silence lingered for a little while, a comfortable one where they drank their coffee and finished their smokes. Hiroto went back to sunbathing and listening to the music of the city, whereas Tora’s eyes never left the younger’s face.
“I love you.”
Hiroto’s eyes snapped open and he turned to look at the other. “What…?”
“I love you.”
He sounded so sure, so confident in his statement. Slowly he took off his sunglasses and Hiroto found himself all but drowning in intense pools of brown. He could see it there, the emotions Tora had just put words too. It shouldn’t come as such a shock, should it? After all, he’d already said it himself. But that was just it - he’d said it and Tora hadn’t said it back.
“You…” He swallowed hard -suddenly his mouth felt incredibly dry- and tried to gather his thoughts. It was that look that threw him off; the look on Tora’s face and in Tora’s eyes. “Why now?”
Hiroto hoped it didn’t sound like he rejected the confession, because that was most certainly not the case. It had merely…caught him off guard.
“I just realized it,” Tora simply said. “I should’ve said it a long time ago, but…I just realized it just now. I love you, Hiroto.”
Finally a huge grin broke out on the younger’s face. Before Tora knew what he was doing he’d reached down beside him and snapped a photo using only one hand and not even looking through the lens. Somehow he knew it would be a marvelous picture. One of those capture the moment ones Hiroto was so good at.
“I love you too,” the younger said and leaned across the table. “I have for a while.”
“I know. I’m sorry I-“
“Shut up.” Hiroto cut him off, still with that almost childish grin on his face. “You waited until you felt it. That makes it more real than anything else.”
Reaching out he tugged at Tora’s neck, asked him to lean over and close the distance between them. He was all too happy to comply. They kissed, out in public and not caring what the people around them thought. They were in love. They had every bit as much right to kiss as any of the heterosexual couples around them.
“I think this is the best morning I’ve ever had,” Hiroto said as they pulled apart.
“Why’s that?” Tora asked and absentmindedly brushed a few crumbles from the other’s cheek.
“I’m just so…happy. You make me happy.” He sighed contently. “More coffee?”
Tora chuckled. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Another childish grin. “Love is part of life, right? Life goes on even after a confession such as this. It’s just a little bit better than it was before.”
How could he not love this man? “I’d like some more coffee. Just don’t add any sugar to it.”
“Black coffee, coming up.”
Taking the cups Hiroto stood up and took a few steps away from the table. Then he seemed to change his mind and walked back, leaned down and pressed another quick kiss to Tora’s lips.
“I love you,” he whispered and bounced off.
- - -
It had already been half a year. Tora had no idea how it happened, but all of a sudden he found himself six months into a relationship with a five years younger man. He wasn’t normally the kind to have steady boyfriends. It’d happened of course, but not very often. And with six months Hiroto was closing in on the record held by a crazy crush in college. That guy, a music major who called himself Kei, had lasted seven and a half months. The only reason it ended was because Kei graduated, but they’d never been in touch since.
That relationship, as good as it had been and as much as it had stung for Kei to simply slip out of his life like that, was nothing compared to what he shared with Hiroto now. Perhaps it was the fact that he was older and, hopefully, more mature. Maybe the almost blonde was simply special. The only thing Tora knew was that six months later he had never, not for a single day, regretted making that phone call. Through arguments, and there had been arguments, and fits of hysterical laughter he had come to realize that this went deeper than anything he had ever experienced before.
“That dinner what just…delicious!” Hiroto groaned and snuggled up closer to the warm body on the couch. “Where did you learn to cook like that?”
Tora snorted and smiled somewhat bitterly. “My mum was…is…a chef. We used to cook together a lot when I was a kid.”
“I never knew that.” The younger looked up at his lover. “You don’t talk a lot about them - your family.”
“Not much to say. They wanted nothing to do with me after I came out. Talking about them won’t change that matter. It just…”
“Hurts?”
Tora nodded slowly. “Something like that. Most of all it makes me angry. Or perhaps upset is a better word. I just never got it… why it was such big a deal.” He squeezed the small body slightly. “But it’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“You up for dessert?” Hiroto asked in an attempt to switch subjects. He didn’t really feel like talking about things he knew brought Tora’s mood down tonight. Besides, since Tora had offered to cook for them tonight he had promised to fix something for dessert. Six months required some kind of celebration after all.
“As long as it has got nothing to do with chocolate,” the older responded with a smile. It was not that he disliked chocolate really, merely that he wasn’t sure he could stomach anything heavy at the moment.
“Nope, no chocolate,” Hiroto promised and got up from the couch. “Meet me in the bedroom in ten minutes.”
Tora arched a brow in question, perhaps even a bit of confusion, but nodded and remained where he was as the younger disappeared into the kitchen. It wasn’t hard killing off ten minutes in front of the television, especially not when you still had a glass of wine to finish. Still, hearing Hiroto as he moved back and forth between the kitchen and the bedroom had him awfully curious.
When he finally did transfer himself to the bedroom he was met by a sight that had to be called beautiful. Hiroto was sitting on the bed, stark naked and surrounded by plates of various delicious looking fruits. All electric lights had been turned off and instead the room was illuminated solely by a vast amount of candles.
“I figured I’d be part of the dessert,” he said with a soft smile.
“You’re beautiful,” Tora said in honest admiration, enjoying the slight blush that crept onto his lover’s cheeks. Undressing slowly, figuring the setting demanded nudity on his behalf as well, he carefully crawled up onto the bed. There were strawberries, cherries, pineapple, mango, passion fruit, oranges already pealed and ready to be consumed. He honestly had no idea how Hiroto had had time to do all this, let alone hide it from him the entire day.
“You look pleased.”
“I am. This is… It looks great Hiroto.”
The younger almost blushed again at the sheer tone of voice Tora used. It was obvious the other appreciated his efforts, which included both selecting fruit of top class as well as arranging it in a way that suited his own aesthetic eye. He had no idea if Tora realized the second part, but he did know that altogether it looked good and that that was something his lover could see.
“I’m glad you like it,” he said and watched as the older treated himself to a strawberry. He’d deliberately picked fruit as dessert since he knew Tora was not much for sweets or cakes or candy.
Tora picked up a cherry next, but instead of eating it himself he fed it to the smaller man. “It’s perfect.”
Hiroto wrapped his lips around the offered berry. And made sure to get a good lick at the fingers holding it as well. Tora was almost too sexy to be true fully clothed, undressed he was a sight for the gods alone. Six months later the younger man was still amazed he’d managed to tie down someone like him.
“What are you thinking about?” Tora asked and bit down on a piece of pineapple.
“How lucky I am to have you,” Hiroto responded and expertly cleaned the inside of a passion fruit cut in half. “You’re just…” He laughed shortly. “I don’t even know what you are. Too good to be true? And still you’re here, with me.”
Moving a plate of orange pieces Tora laid down on his side, propped up on one elbow, and met the other’s intense eyes. “I’m here because I want to be here. Because I love you.”
It was something he’d come to realize over the past months. Hiroto had a hard time understanding that someone could love him. He was a very social person, very social, but apparently he hadn’t experienced much love in his life. Not like what they shared now. And sometimes it scared him. Mostly because he was afraid it would all be torn away again.
“Come here,” Tora purred when he didn’t get a response.
Hiroto complied, quite happily so, and moved a few plates so he could more easily cuddle up next to the other’s strong body. Tora’s skin was paler than his own, a gaijin trait he’d been told. Tora had American blood in his veins. But he liked it, liked everything about the taller stronger man. He made Hiroto feel safe and cared for, loved.
“You need to stop questioning yourself so much,” Tora continued as he moved a few more plates, almost absentmindedly enjoying some of the delicious fruit as he did so.
“I know,” Hiroto replied with a slight scowl. “I’m trying.”
The older grinned. “Well try harder.”
Rolling onto his back he effortlessly, well almost at least, lifted the smaller body to sit on top of him. Hiroto yelped at the sudden action, but it turned into a ringing laughter almost immediately. Leaning down he kissed his lover, let his hands trail over his body. No, there was no need to doubt this. Tora loved him. He loved Tora. That was the only thing that mattered at the moment. Well, that and the fact that they still had some celebrating of their six months together left to do.
- - -
“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!”
Tora held the phone away from his head and rubbed his ear slightly. He needed to relearn to check the caller-id before actually answering his phone and adjust the volume according to who was on the other end.
“That ringing in my ear better disappear or you’re in deep shit, Shou.”
“Oh forget about your ears! I need to see you, now!”
Tora sighed and checked the time. Whether it was pure luck or good planning on the blonde’s behalf he had no idea, but he got off work ten minutes later. He was fairly certain he did not want to hear whatever it was Shou desperately needed to talk about but he was a good friend and would listen either way.
That was why he twenty minutes later got off the train and walked the two blocks to Shou’s apartment. It was a nervous wreck that opened the door, hair all over the place and in mismatching clothes. For a second he reminded Tora of their high school days when Shou would look more or less exactly like that after wild party nights.
“What happened to you?” he asked and tried to suppress the grin. It broke out full force, of course, but at least he’d tried.
Shou looked down at himself and groaned. “I got laid.”
Somehow that was not the answer he’d expected. Mostly because, well, then this pretty much was a repetition of their high school years. “You got laid and regenerated back to your nervous high school wreck days?”
“Oh shut up!” Shou pulled him inside and slammed the door shut behind them. “This is serious. I don’t know what to do Tora!”
“I don’t even know who the guy is. I didn’t even know you were looking for someone! Why call me?”
“Because you know me! And because…” Shou hesitated and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “God, I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” he mumbled. “You’re the coolest guy I know. Everything you do just comes out right!”
To be honest, Tora was rather surprised to hear the blonde speak such words as well. It wasn’t like he needed an ego boost. But more so, he had no idea Shou actually viewed him like that. It had him curious though, in a slightly mischievous way, as to who this guy Shou had bedded was.
“So you want this to be more than a one time thing, I take it?” he asked as he got out of his shoes.
“Yes! Of course I do!” Shou exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air. “For god’s sake I’ve been yearning after him for more than a year!”
Tora paused in his attempt to hang his jacket and stared at his old friend. “You’ve been after the same guy for a year and never told me about him?”
The blush that crept onto the other’s cheeks was more than enough confirmation. Mumbling something about making coffee, Shou disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Tora to the task of hanging his jacket and following. Wordlessly, he also offered the other the chance to get out, an old agreement between the two that had rarely been used. They were friends, but if something was more than the other wanted to deal with at the moment it was fine.
But Tora was not about to walk out now. Moments later he entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table, waiting for Shou to set tea and coffee to a boil before he spoke up.
“So, who is this guy?”
“His name is Saga,” Shou said in a low love struck voice. “I met him when I took that university class, remember? The one in musical history?”
Tora nodded. “That’s got to be almost two years ago by now.”
“Well, a year and a half. Maybe a year and eight months. Someting like that.” Shou took a deep breath. “We teamed up for the first assignment and found out we made a good team, so we stuck together for the rest of the class.”
“Is he gay?” Tora asked as the other made a pause in his speech. He also got up and fetched them their drinks, almost as familiar with Shou’s kitchen as his own.
“He’s bisexual,” Shou replied and wrapped his long fingers around the heated cup. “Took me a while to figure out, whereas he had me pinpointed from day one.”
“Honey, you couldn’t pass for straight if your life depended on it.” Shou was the only one Tora ever really used pet names for. Aside from Hiroto, of course, but that was a different matter. “You’re telling me it took you eighteen months to figure out if the guy was into men or not?”
“No, no, no.” Shou sighed. “I don’t even remember how we came to speak of it, sexuality I mean, but he told me shortly after the class ended. We stayed friends ever since, have met up regularly for coffee and so on. I just…never really dared to…”
“Tell him you wanted him to fuck you?”
There was a fruit basket filled with apples standing on the table and Tora barely had time to catch the fruit aimed at his head. His attempt to not burst out laughing was futile, especially with the way Shou pouted in indignation.
“I honestly don’t know if it’s you rubbing off on Hiroto or him rubbing off on you,” he mumbled. “He said more or less the same thing.”
That information was filed away for later use. Tora was definitely going to question his lover about this later on. “But now he has fucked you, so what is the problem?”
“The problem is that I was drunk and I don’t know if it was a mistake or not!”
“So talk to him.”
“And say that?!”
Tora rubbed his ear again and felt the beginning itch of nicotine craving tingle in his fingers. “Honestly Shou, you need to stop shrieking like a fucking girl. Just tell him you are in love with him.”
“Am I? Am I really in love with him?”
The coffee cup stopped halfway to Tora’s mouth and he arched an eyebrow. “You’ve been friends with this guy for eighteen months and wanted him for just as long. I think it’s pretty safe to say you are in love with him, yes.”
Shou groaned again and hid his face in his hands. “And what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“At least you’ll know, right?”
A hum was all he got for a reply at first. “Were you this nervous when you first contacted Hiroto?” Shou finally asked.
“I could’ve lost my job over what I did,” Tora replied and finished his coffee, itch continuously growing worse. “But I couldn’t get him out of my head and look at us now. You’ve wanted this Saga for long enough, he’s proven he wants you too by fucking you. Don’t lose your spark now. Call him. I assume you’ve got his number.”
Shou nodded and Tora grinned. “Perfect,” he continued. “Then you call him while I step outside for a smoke.”
Big bright eyes looked up at him as he stood. There was a lot of gratitude shining in them and Tora smiled; smiled, not grinned, at his friend. He would go out onto the balcony for a smoke. If Shou was still on the phone and sounded happy when he got back he’d slip out unnoticed. If not, he’d stick around and comfort a broken heart as best he could.
Patting his friend comfortingly on the shoulder, he went back to the hallway to get his cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket. The last thing he heard before closing the balcony door behind him was Shou’s voice as he apparently got a reply on the other end of the phone line. Tora smiled to himself and lit up his cigarette, happily inhaling nicotine deep into his lungs and feeling the itch settle back once more.
Chapter 03
Chapters: 02/??
Author: invisiblehabits
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Malexmale sex, abuse, character death, violence, murder, fluff
Pairing: Tora/Hiroto, Saga/Shou
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t know. Won’t make money, unless you feel like paying me to read.
Summary: “Oh you are the worst liar ever, Shou!” There was a knock on the door. “That’s Tora, I’ve got to go. You need to tell Mr. What’s-his-name that you’ve been having wet dreams about him since the first time you met.”
Comments: This took forever and three days to post! But it's up, yay!
- - -
Tora loved the way Hiroto’s eyes lit up and a big smile broke out on his lips as Tora himself exited the bank, throwing his jacket on as he walked. “Sorry I’m late,” he said and leaned down to gently kiss the other. “I had a rather…troublesome customer.”
“Another old lady?” Hiroto giggled as they began to walk briskly down the street, remembering the taller’s livid speech on that clientele group down to the syllable.
“Nope, an eighteen-year-old brat who just got access to his inherited fortune. Son of a bitch thought he knew more about investing money than I do!”
Hiroto bit his lip hard not to burst out laughing at the offended tone of Tora’s voice. Over the past three weeks since their first date, he’d gotten very familiar with the taller’s quirks, including possessiveness and a rather unique sense of pride. The first one had been evident as he woke up after their first night together, sticky with sweat and with a sated feeling still lingering in his body. Tora had still been asleep, but when Hiroto tried to move, the strong arms around his waist had tightened, as if daring him to try and sneak away.
He hadn’t, of course. They were at his place so there wasn’t really anywhere he could’ve gone off to anyway. Instead he’d snuggled up closer to the strong chest and sort of snoozed for half an hour more until Tora started stirring and waking up as well. Three weeks later that morning scenario had repeated itself no less than fourteen times, in both their apartments.
“Do you still get an hour lunch or do you have to be back by two?”
Tora grimaced badly. “I have to be back by two, sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Hiroto laughed. “It’s not your fault the brat wouldn’t shut up. Besides, you’re coming over tonight, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, don’t know what I’d do alone on a Friday night anymore.”
What had started as a chance meeting had definitely turned into a budding relationship. Everything felt a little bit too good to be true, but Hiroto was not one to think in such ways. Yes, it was quite amazing to think that someone as gorgeous as Tora would actually fall in love with him. He was younger -five whole years, they had discovered- and no way near as mature as his new boyfriend. And though he was often told he was the epitome of innocent cuteness, Hiroto had simply never found his own looks all that appealing. Not like he found his mirror image ugly or anything. It was just…there were more beautiful men out there. Like Tora, for instance.
“Where do you want to go?” the older asked. “I’ll pay since I was late.”
They tried to each lunch together as often as they could. It was a nice way to meet up and it was also a lot more fun not to have to eat alone. Normally, they would each pay separately or they’d take turns and pay every other time. But today Tora figured that since their time spent together would be cut short, he’d treat his new boyfriend.
“I want fried noodles,” Hiroto replied. “For some reason I’ve been craving them all day!”
Tora laughed and wrapped his arm around the short man. “Alright then. I know a pretty good place two blocks away.”
- - -
“So everything is going well between you and Tora?”
“Yeah, he’s coming over tonight.”
Shou’s melodic laughter filtered through the phone line. “Do the two of you ever spend a night apart?”
But he was happy for his friends. Hiroto could tell. And he was happy too, Not only because he had found someone he truly cared about and who seemed to truly care about him, but since the night where Shou introduced him to Tora for the first time, the two childhood friends had intensified their contact as well.
“Oh shut it!” he laughed. “We do spend time apart. What is this about, you jealous?”
There was a semi-offended snort. “No thank you, you can keep the tiger all to yourself.”
“I intend too, thank you very much.” Hiroto smiled fondly at the thought of the tall dark beauty. It really was strange to think that Tora was his to keep. “What about yourself, are you even going to introduce me to that hottie you’ve been talking about for as long as I can remember?”
Shou huffed rather than snorted this time. It was a sound landing somewhere in between offended and embarrassed. “I have not spoken of him since forever! It’s been like…a year or something.”
“And that’s not bad enough?” Hiroto laughed. “You took that class together and have met up with him regularly ever since. Have you ever hinted on the fact that you’re interested in him?”
“Yes! Well…no…maybe.”
“Oh you are the worst liar ever, Shou!” There was a knock on the door. “That’s Tora, I’ve got to go. You need to tell Mr. What’s-his-name that you’ve been having wet dreams about him since the first time you met.”
“I have not!” There was a slight pause. “Okay, so I have, but that’s not the point. And his name is Saga!”
“Alright, then tell Saga that you want him to fuck you up against the wall already!” Hiroto laughed at yet another huff. “Take care, Shou. Good night.”
Ending the call, he carelessly dropped the phone into the couch as he bounced over to the door. Tora had his hand raised to knock a second time, still not comfortable with just walking in on his own, as the door swung open.
“I was starting to think you weren’t at home,” he said and entered.
Dropping a workout bag he took off his shoes and jacket. He’d been to the gym just before coming over and assumed he didn’t smell like strawberries and rose petals at the moment. To spare Hiroto a little bit he merely gave the other man a peck in greeting, which was still enough to have the shorter wrinkle his nose slightly.
“No, I was on the phone with Shou. And you really need a shower.”
Tora chuckled in understanding. He’d been friends with the other blonde long enough to know his inability to end phone calls. “I was hoping you’d join me,” he confessed in regards to the shower comment. “Which is why I didn’t shower at the gym.”
“You just have an unhealthy obsession with shower sex, that’s all,” Hiroto countered.
Not that he objected to the idea of course. Ever since their first shower together, enjoyed once Tora had finally woken up that very first morning, Hiroto found it utterly boring to shower alone. It didn’t matter if they had sex or not, he just liked standing under the warm spray together and feel hands other hand his own massage shampoo into his hair or lather his body up with soap. It was a matter of being close and intimate rather than sexual. At least to him.
“Will you join me?” Tora was already on his way to the bathroom, pulling the sweatshirt over his head.
Hiroto rolled his eyes. “Go wash that smell off your body. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
- - -
Spring had definitely arrived. The mornings were still chilly and it was not wise to leave home without a jacket, but on sunny days like today it was wonderful to sit outdoors. The fact that it was a Saturday and that both of them were free to do whatever they wanted the entire day didn’t exactly decrease the feeling that life was good.
It was currently 11am and Hiroto sighed happily as he let warm sunshine wash over his face. Tora studied him closely while sipping his coffee, preferring the bitter taste over tea any day. The younger man looked so happy and content right then. Hair brushed back to let the sun bathe over him, camera hung somewhat carelessly over the back of his chair and a few crumbles from the croissant he’d just enjoyed still visible at the corner of his mouth. It all made Tora smile fondly.
But something was missing, or so the itch in his veins told him. Putting the coffee down he reached into his jacket pocket, the garment having been discarded onto a different chair in the warmth, and retrieved a package of cigarettes. Hiroto peaked an eye open at the sound of the flickering lighter.
“You would make an awesome rock star you know,” he said and quickly went for his own cigarettes, the two of them disagreeing sharply as far as brands went.
Tora almost choked on the smoke as he laughed shortly. “How so?”
“You look too freaking hot wearing sunglasses and smoking.”
The older grinned wide. To this day it amused him that Hiroto found him so hot, yet still the younger never seemed uncomfortable around him. He liked it, though. Too often people were almost intimidated by his looks and his size. Not to mention when they got to know him a little bit and realized that the darkness didn’t stop at the hair.
“Does it ever bother you?” he asked.
“What, that you’re hot enough for every woman and half the men at this coffee shop to want you?” Hiroto retorted and took a long drag at his cigarette.
Tora grinned, the feline expression that had pleasant chills run down Hiroto’s back. “No, I’ve come to understand that you like the fact that I’m hot. I was referring to…”
“Your ‘thing’?” Hiroto supplied. It was what he called the dark tinge within his lover. He was as unable as Tora himself to identify what it was, but where others had apparently been intimidated by it he just found it incredibly hot. “Not in the slightest. I like it, whatever it is.”
Silence lingered for a little while, a comfortable one where they drank their coffee and finished their smokes. Hiroto went back to sunbathing and listening to the music of the city, whereas Tora’s eyes never left the younger’s face.
“I love you.”
Hiroto’s eyes snapped open and he turned to look at the other. “What…?”
“I love you.”
He sounded so sure, so confident in his statement. Slowly he took off his sunglasses and Hiroto found himself all but drowning in intense pools of brown. He could see it there, the emotions Tora had just put words too. It shouldn’t come as such a shock, should it? After all, he’d already said it himself. But that was just it - he’d said it and Tora hadn’t said it back.
“You…” He swallowed hard -suddenly his mouth felt incredibly dry- and tried to gather his thoughts. It was that look that threw him off; the look on Tora’s face and in Tora’s eyes. “Why now?”
Hiroto hoped it didn’t sound like he rejected the confession, because that was most certainly not the case. It had merely…caught him off guard.
“I just realized it,” Tora simply said. “I should’ve said it a long time ago, but…I just realized it just now. I love you, Hiroto.”
Finally a huge grin broke out on the younger’s face. Before Tora knew what he was doing he’d reached down beside him and snapped a photo using only one hand and not even looking through the lens. Somehow he knew it would be a marvelous picture. One of those capture the moment ones Hiroto was so good at.
“I love you too,” the younger said and leaned across the table. “I have for a while.”
“I know. I’m sorry I-“
“Shut up.” Hiroto cut him off, still with that almost childish grin on his face. “You waited until you felt it. That makes it more real than anything else.”
Reaching out he tugged at Tora’s neck, asked him to lean over and close the distance between them. He was all too happy to comply. They kissed, out in public and not caring what the people around them thought. They were in love. They had every bit as much right to kiss as any of the heterosexual couples around them.
“I think this is the best morning I’ve ever had,” Hiroto said as they pulled apart.
“Why’s that?” Tora asked and absentmindedly brushed a few crumbles from the other’s cheek.
“I’m just so…happy. You make me happy.” He sighed contently. “More coffee?”
Tora chuckled. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Another childish grin. “Love is part of life, right? Life goes on even after a confession such as this. It’s just a little bit better than it was before.”
How could he not love this man? “I’d like some more coffee. Just don’t add any sugar to it.”
“Black coffee, coming up.”
Taking the cups Hiroto stood up and took a few steps away from the table. Then he seemed to change his mind and walked back, leaned down and pressed another quick kiss to Tora’s lips.
“I love you,” he whispered and bounced off.
- - -
It had already been half a year. Tora had no idea how it happened, but all of a sudden he found himself six months into a relationship with a five years younger man. He wasn’t normally the kind to have steady boyfriends. It’d happened of course, but not very often. And with six months Hiroto was closing in on the record held by a crazy crush in college. That guy, a music major who called himself Kei, had lasted seven and a half months. The only reason it ended was because Kei graduated, but they’d never been in touch since.
That relationship, as good as it had been and as much as it had stung for Kei to simply slip out of his life like that, was nothing compared to what he shared with Hiroto now. Perhaps it was the fact that he was older and, hopefully, more mature. Maybe the almost blonde was simply special. The only thing Tora knew was that six months later he had never, not for a single day, regretted making that phone call. Through arguments, and there had been arguments, and fits of hysterical laughter he had come to realize that this went deeper than anything he had ever experienced before.
“That dinner what just…delicious!” Hiroto groaned and snuggled up closer to the warm body on the couch. “Where did you learn to cook like that?”
Tora snorted and smiled somewhat bitterly. “My mum was…is…a chef. We used to cook together a lot when I was a kid.”
“I never knew that.” The younger looked up at his lover. “You don’t talk a lot about them - your family.”
“Not much to say. They wanted nothing to do with me after I came out. Talking about them won’t change that matter. It just…”
“Hurts?”
Tora nodded slowly. “Something like that. Most of all it makes me angry. Or perhaps upset is a better word. I just never got it… why it was such big a deal.” He squeezed the small body slightly. “But it’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“You up for dessert?” Hiroto asked in an attempt to switch subjects. He didn’t really feel like talking about things he knew brought Tora’s mood down tonight. Besides, since Tora had offered to cook for them tonight he had promised to fix something for dessert. Six months required some kind of celebration after all.
“As long as it has got nothing to do with chocolate,” the older responded with a smile. It was not that he disliked chocolate really, merely that he wasn’t sure he could stomach anything heavy at the moment.
“Nope, no chocolate,” Hiroto promised and got up from the couch. “Meet me in the bedroom in ten minutes.”
Tora arched a brow in question, perhaps even a bit of confusion, but nodded and remained where he was as the younger disappeared into the kitchen. It wasn’t hard killing off ten minutes in front of the television, especially not when you still had a glass of wine to finish. Still, hearing Hiroto as he moved back and forth between the kitchen and the bedroom had him awfully curious.
When he finally did transfer himself to the bedroom he was met by a sight that had to be called beautiful. Hiroto was sitting on the bed, stark naked and surrounded by plates of various delicious looking fruits. All electric lights had been turned off and instead the room was illuminated solely by a vast amount of candles.
“I figured I’d be part of the dessert,” he said with a soft smile.
“You’re beautiful,” Tora said in honest admiration, enjoying the slight blush that crept onto his lover’s cheeks. Undressing slowly, figuring the setting demanded nudity on his behalf as well, he carefully crawled up onto the bed. There were strawberries, cherries, pineapple, mango, passion fruit, oranges already pealed and ready to be consumed. He honestly had no idea how Hiroto had had time to do all this, let alone hide it from him the entire day.
“You look pleased.”
“I am. This is… It looks great Hiroto.”
The younger almost blushed again at the sheer tone of voice Tora used. It was obvious the other appreciated his efforts, which included both selecting fruit of top class as well as arranging it in a way that suited his own aesthetic eye. He had no idea if Tora realized the second part, but he did know that altogether it looked good and that that was something his lover could see.
“I’m glad you like it,” he said and watched as the older treated himself to a strawberry. He’d deliberately picked fruit as dessert since he knew Tora was not much for sweets or cakes or candy.
Tora picked up a cherry next, but instead of eating it himself he fed it to the smaller man. “It’s perfect.”
Hiroto wrapped his lips around the offered berry. And made sure to get a good lick at the fingers holding it as well. Tora was almost too sexy to be true fully clothed, undressed he was a sight for the gods alone. Six months later the younger man was still amazed he’d managed to tie down someone like him.
“What are you thinking about?” Tora asked and bit down on a piece of pineapple.
“How lucky I am to have you,” Hiroto responded and expertly cleaned the inside of a passion fruit cut in half. “You’re just…” He laughed shortly. “I don’t even know what you are. Too good to be true? And still you’re here, with me.”
Moving a plate of orange pieces Tora laid down on his side, propped up on one elbow, and met the other’s intense eyes. “I’m here because I want to be here. Because I love you.”
It was something he’d come to realize over the past months. Hiroto had a hard time understanding that someone could love him. He was a very social person, very social, but apparently he hadn’t experienced much love in his life. Not like what they shared now. And sometimes it scared him. Mostly because he was afraid it would all be torn away again.
“Come here,” Tora purred when he didn’t get a response.
Hiroto complied, quite happily so, and moved a few plates so he could more easily cuddle up next to the other’s strong body. Tora’s skin was paler than his own, a gaijin trait he’d been told. Tora had American blood in his veins. But he liked it, liked everything about the taller stronger man. He made Hiroto feel safe and cared for, loved.
“You need to stop questioning yourself so much,” Tora continued as he moved a few more plates, almost absentmindedly enjoying some of the delicious fruit as he did so.
“I know,” Hiroto replied with a slight scowl. “I’m trying.”
The older grinned. “Well try harder.”
Rolling onto his back he effortlessly, well almost at least, lifted the smaller body to sit on top of him. Hiroto yelped at the sudden action, but it turned into a ringing laughter almost immediately. Leaning down he kissed his lover, let his hands trail over his body. No, there was no need to doubt this. Tora loved him. He loved Tora. That was the only thing that mattered at the moment. Well, that and the fact that they still had some celebrating of their six months together left to do.
- - -
“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!”
Tora held the phone away from his head and rubbed his ear slightly. He needed to relearn to check the caller-id before actually answering his phone and adjust the volume according to who was on the other end.
“That ringing in my ear better disappear or you’re in deep shit, Shou.”
“Oh forget about your ears! I need to see you, now!”
Tora sighed and checked the time. Whether it was pure luck or good planning on the blonde’s behalf he had no idea, but he got off work ten minutes later. He was fairly certain he did not want to hear whatever it was Shou desperately needed to talk about but he was a good friend and would listen either way.
That was why he twenty minutes later got off the train and walked the two blocks to Shou’s apartment. It was a nervous wreck that opened the door, hair all over the place and in mismatching clothes. For a second he reminded Tora of their high school days when Shou would look more or less exactly like that after wild party nights.
“What happened to you?” he asked and tried to suppress the grin. It broke out full force, of course, but at least he’d tried.
Shou looked down at himself and groaned. “I got laid.”
Somehow that was not the answer he’d expected. Mostly because, well, then this pretty much was a repetition of their high school years. “You got laid and regenerated back to your nervous high school wreck days?”
“Oh shut up!” Shou pulled him inside and slammed the door shut behind them. “This is serious. I don’t know what to do Tora!”
“I don’t even know who the guy is. I didn’t even know you were looking for someone! Why call me?”
“Because you know me! And because…” Shou hesitated and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “God, I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” he mumbled. “You’re the coolest guy I know. Everything you do just comes out right!”
To be honest, Tora was rather surprised to hear the blonde speak such words as well. It wasn’t like he needed an ego boost. But more so, he had no idea Shou actually viewed him like that. It had him curious though, in a slightly mischievous way, as to who this guy Shou had bedded was.
“So you want this to be more than a one time thing, I take it?” he asked as he got out of his shoes.
“Yes! Of course I do!” Shou exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air. “For god’s sake I’ve been yearning after him for more than a year!”
Tora paused in his attempt to hang his jacket and stared at his old friend. “You’ve been after the same guy for a year and never told me about him?”
The blush that crept onto the other’s cheeks was more than enough confirmation. Mumbling something about making coffee, Shou disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Tora to the task of hanging his jacket and following. Wordlessly, he also offered the other the chance to get out, an old agreement between the two that had rarely been used. They were friends, but if something was more than the other wanted to deal with at the moment it was fine.
But Tora was not about to walk out now. Moments later he entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table, waiting for Shou to set tea and coffee to a boil before he spoke up.
“So, who is this guy?”
“His name is Saga,” Shou said in a low love struck voice. “I met him when I took that university class, remember? The one in musical history?”
Tora nodded. “That’s got to be almost two years ago by now.”
“Well, a year and a half. Maybe a year and eight months. Someting like that.” Shou took a deep breath. “We teamed up for the first assignment and found out we made a good team, so we stuck together for the rest of the class.”
“Is he gay?” Tora asked as the other made a pause in his speech. He also got up and fetched them their drinks, almost as familiar with Shou’s kitchen as his own.
“He’s bisexual,” Shou replied and wrapped his long fingers around the heated cup. “Took me a while to figure out, whereas he had me pinpointed from day one.”
“Honey, you couldn’t pass for straight if your life depended on it.” Shou was the only one Tora ever really used pet names for. Aside from Hiroto, of course, but that was a different matter. “You’re telling me it took you eighteen months to figure out if the guy was into men or not?”
“No, no, no.” Shou sighed. “I don’t even remember how we came to speak of it, sexuality I mean, but he told me shortly after the class ended. We stayed friends ever since, have met up regularly for coffee and so on. I just…never really dared to…”
“Tell him you wanted him to fuck you?”
There was a fruit basket filled with apples standing on the table and Tora barely had time to catch the fruit aimed at his head. His attempt to not burst out laughing was futile, especially with the way Shou pouted in indignation.
“I honestly don’t know if it’s you rubbing off on Hiroto or him rubbing off on you,” he mumbled. “He said more or less the same thing.”
That information was filed away for later use. Tora was definitely going to question his lover about this later on. “But now he has fucked you, so what is the problem?”
“The problem is that I was drunk and I don’t know if it was a mistake or not!”
“So talk to him.”
“And say that?!”
Tora rubbed his ear again and felt the beginning itch of nicotine craving tingle in his fingers. “Honestly Shou, you need to stop shrieking like a fucking girl. Just tell him you are in love with him.”
“Am I? Am I really in love with him?”
The coffee cup stopped halfway to Tora’s mouth and he arched an eyebrow. “You’ve been friends with this guy for eighteen months and wanted him for just as long. I think it’s pretty safe to say you are in love with him, yes.”
Shou groaned again and hid his face in his hands. “And what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“At least you’ll know, right?”
A hum was all he got for a reply at first. “Were you this nervous when you first contacted Hiroto?” Shou finally asked.
“I could’ve lost my job over what I did,” Tora replied and finished his coffee, itch continuously growing worse. “But I couldn’t get him out of my head and look at us now. You’ve wanted this Saga for long enough, he’s proven he wants you too by fucking you. Don’t lose your spark now. Call him. I assume you’ve got his number.”
Shou nodded and Tora grinned. “Perfect,” he continued. “Then you call him while I step outside for a smoke.”
Big bright eyes looked up at him as he stood. There was a lot of gratitude shining in them and Tora smiled; smiled, not grinned, at his friend. He would go out onto the balcony for a smoke. If Shou was still on the phone and sounded happy when he got back he’d slip out unnoticed. If not, he’d stick around and comfort a broken heart as best he could.
Patting his friend comfortingly on the shoulder, he went back to the hallway to get his cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket. The last thing he heard before closing the balcony door behind him was Shou’s voice as he apparently got a reply on the other end of the phone line. Tora smiled to himself and lit up his cigarette, happily inhaling nicotine deep into his lungs and feeling the itch settle back once more.
Chapter 03