Candle Wax -- Oneshot
Title: Candle Wax
Chapter: Oneshot
Author: invisiblehabits
Genre: Romance/Light angst/Fluff
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Malexmale sex, some angst, and if that is a warning then so is fluff!
Pairings: Tora/Hiroto, Shou/Hiroto
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t know. Won’t make money unless you feel like paying me to read.
Summary: Placing himself behind the smaller man he almost draped himself over Hiroto. Perhaps it should feel awkward or strange, but it didn’t. Unknown to them people around assumed the two of them were a couple, because in that moment they definitely looked like one.
Comments: Woah, how long has it been, two weeks? And I’m not even bringing you and vampires. Instead you get a dose of ToraPon! I hope that makes up for something at least. This is actually a story I started nearly a year ago and never finished, found it now, reworked it quite a bit and finally wrote an ending! I’m still slightly worried my writing style might’ve changed a bit between the first and the second half, feel free to give me a guess of where I ended a year ago and started up now if you wish, and it is un-betad, but I really wanted to post something tonight! So yes, here you go, fluff! Wtf?!
It was raining when he left the building, a real downpour that drenched him entirely the second he stepped out into it. Cursing the fact he hadn’t brought an umbrella Tora wondered what had compelled him into driving to the studio this autumn day. He hated driving in the rain and today’s prognosis had promises massive amounts of precipitation. He also wanted to know what the hell had driven Hiroto to run out of practice over an hour ago. Their youngest member had given no explanation whatsoever and Shou had, uncharacteristically, merely shrugged it off. The older guitarist had only assumed that their vocalist knew something the rest of them didn’t; he was Hiroto’s boyfriend after all.
He still remembered the shock he’d felt when the two of them had first announced their relationship a year ago. It was no surprise that Shou was gay, the man was even more flamboyant offstage than he was in public appearance, but somehow he had never expected Hiroto to go for men. He’d seen the skilled guitarist flirt left and right at parties and clubs, but only ever with females. And honestly, Shou? Tora loved Shou, as a friend. The idea of living with him, however, made the him chuckle despite the cold growing into his very bones from the rainfall. He could vividly imagine the singer’s morning temper (he was horrible before he’d gotten coffee) and the fits he could throw when his hair wouldn’t lay properly. No thank you, touring together was bad enough; he was more than happy to leave the gay pride behind when he stepped out of the studio.
Pulling the collar of his black coat further up around his face, which was rather unnecessary since he was already soaking wet, he started off towards his car. He’d only taken a few steps when something caught his attention. At first he thought he was mistaking, but it was in fact Hiroto. The already small guitarist looked tiny where he sat curled up into himself among the litter of the back alley, it was a minor miracle Tora caught eye of him in the first place, he was almost entirely hidden behind what looked like old cardboard boxes. The blonde hair was plastered to the innocent looking face, where the makeup he’d obviously been wearing had been smudged all over it.
“What the hell?” Tora exclaimed and effortlessly pulled the younger to his feet and steadied him with a firm grip around the slim shoulders. Hiroto was shivering so violently the older feared he might crumble to the ground, but with a bit of support he remained standing. “Pon, how long have you been sitting here?”
The younger’s teeth were clattering so much he couldn’t hear the reply, but Tora was worried he’d been there ever since he ran out of the studio. “Come on, you need to get warm.”
“I don’t want to go home!” Despite the weakness of the voice, the near panic was evident in it and it caused the taller to frown. “Fine,” he agreed. “Then you’re coming with me.”
It was a rather apathetic being Tora pulled along and pushed down in the passenger seat of his car, the ride was spent in silence and Hiroto didn’t object to being pulled inside the other’s downtown apartment, if anything he seemed relieved to not have to go home. The older guitarist knew Shou and Hiroto had moved in together only a couple of weeks back, so it was quite disturbing to see the blonde flinch whenever home was mentioned. Tora desperately wanted to know what was wrong, the protective side in him sparked up by the other’s beaten puppy look, but first he settled on getting Hiroto out of his soaked clothes and almost forcefully pushed him into the shower.
“You need to heat up, Pon. I’ll leave some dry clothes for you here.”
He received nothing for an answer as he put a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that no doubt would be two miles too long for the younger on the counter. Sighing he closed the bathroom door, content for the time being with hearing the shower running, and went into the kitchen to make some hot tea.
- - - -
“We argued last night. Actually…it was more of a fight.”
Hiroto had spent nearly an hour in the shower before appearing in the kitchen, clad in the clothes Tora had left for him. The sight of him; wet hair and unmasked face, his thin body nearly drowning in the taller’s clothes, was enough to make Tora’s heart clench. He looked so small and disoriented as he took a seat and accepted a mug of steaming hot tea.
“Tora…” The eyes looking up at the older were brimmed with tears. “I think it’s over.”
It took a second for Tora’s mind to catch up with the words, to fully comprehend what the younger had just said. ‘It’s over’, as in Shou’s and Hiroto’s relationship having come to an end.
“But…” He probably looked as stunned as he felt. During the hour since the guitarist had picked his band mate off the street he’d naturally tried to think of explanations, but this! Shamefully Tora had to admit one of his first thoughts went to the band; would they be able to continue on? What would happen to Alice Nine? It was impossible to imagine them continuing without either Hiroto or Shou.
The younger dried a tear from the corner of his eye and sniffled, efficiently snapping Tora back to the moment. “What happened, Pon?”
“I…” A tired, and way too cynical to belong to the younger, chuckle rolled off the pouty lips. “I hardly know myself. Ever since we moved in together we’ve been snapping at each other left and right, idiotic things like a guitar strap having been misplaced or a tube of hair gel ending up among the cans of hair spray!”
To Tora the story sounded pretty normal this far, sort of like when you went home to visit the family and suddenly had to get used to living with other people again. If it hadn’t been for the utterly sad and defeated look on Hiroto’s features he would’ve laughed it off as nothingness. “And last night?”
The effect was immediate as the younger’s face crumbled into a mask of perfect pain. “We started arguing about something again, I don’t even remember what it was, but it just got worse and worse until we were flat out screaming at each other. I think I threw a glass or something to the wall and Shou…” The pause was foreboding and Tora felt himself tense up.
“Did he hit you?”
“No! No.” Hiroto looked shocked at the mere suggestion. “No, but he told me it was all a mistake, that we never should’ve moved in together. He…he told me to fuck off, so I did. I spent the night at Aki’s and today…”
The younger guitarist didn’t have to say more, Tora had noticed how Shou and Hiroto had been oddly distant in the studio this day, but he hadn’t thought more of it. In light of this new information the situation suddenly appeared a whole lot different. Tora was not a very physical being, but now he reached forward and pried one of the small calloused hands off the mug they were frantically gripping. Taking it in a firm hold he stroked the back of it with his own thumb.
“I’m sorry, Pon. But I’m sure it’ll work out.”
“I love him…”
“See, that’s a pretty good start.”
Hopefully his smile was as reassuring as he attempted it to be. The words were not a lie, he really hoped it would work out between his fellow band members, but he was worried Hiroto was up for a rough time.
“Sleep here tonight,” he offered. “You’ll be drenched all over again if you head over to Aki now.”
The blonde smiled, still sadly but with a lot of gratitude in his eyes. “Thanks Tora, I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say nothing.” The older stood up, thereby breaking the hold of their hands, and poured the cold remnants of tea out in the sink. Looking over his shoulder he smiled again and this time he knew it was both honest and reassuring. “It’s what friends are for.”
- - - -
They were sitting in Aki’s kitchen, the bassist out with his own band doing a show neither of them had been up to attending. Normally they’d be at Tora’s place or out somewhere, but the plan had been for the older to drop Hiroto off and head home. A simple request for some company was all it’d taken to make Tora stay however. The two of them had hung out a lot in the past days, friendship intensified dramatically by the unexpected events not even a week back.
“I just don’t get it!” Hiroto exclaimed for the umpteenth time, angrily wiping his eyes where unwanted tears threatened to spill over. “We were doing so well, everything was fucking perfect and I was so thrilled about finally moving in together. Then…”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Tora filled in as the other trailed off. “Maybe it was too soon, maybe it simply wouldn’t have worked out at all. Let’s face it, you’re both rather stubborn beings.”
“Oh gee, thanks,” the younger said in a tone that perfectly displayed what the older had just stated. “You’re saying it was all my fault, that if only I hadn’t been so stubborn and-“
“You wouldn’t have been yourself.” The interruption successfully shut the blonde up, an accomplishment for which Tora all but patted himself on the head. “You are a stubborn person, Pon, as is Shou. Neither of you should change that, but… I don’t know, maybe you simply weren’t ready to make the compromises required for living together.”
The younger sighed heavily and wiped at another runaway tear. “Maybe you’re right… It just seemed so right though, we seemed so right.” Standing up he grabbed the now empty coffee cups and put them in the dishwasher. “I honestly thought he was the one, Tora…”
There really wasn’t much for the older to say other than: “I’m sorry Pon.”
- - - -
“Can you believe he just ignored me like that yesterday?!”
The small guitarist was, of course, referring to his ex-boyfriend and the way in which the vocalist had flat out ignored him at yesterday’s band meeting. Shou would talk with everyone else and never failed to comment on any suggestions made no matter where they came from or what they were about. Except if the spokesman was their youngest member. Whenever Hiroto tried to say something, make a suggestion or ask a question, Shou would act as if he hadn’t heard a thing.
“No, I was a bit surprised actually.”
“It’s like he doesn’t even see me,” Hiroto said with a heavy sigh and plopped down in the sofa next to his fellow guitarist. “You’d almost think he never cared about me.”
“He cared, Pon.” There were no traits of doubt in Tora’s voice speaking those words. “You don’t act like he did for the past year unless you care. And you don’t stay for so long either.”
“I just don’t see what I did wrong…” The older was glad Hiroto was at least past crying by now. Not because he didn’t understand the need to shed tears or blamed the younger for doing so, but because watching Hiroto’s trusting eyes fill up with tears cut like a knife through his chest.
“We’ve been over this, it wasn’t your fault. At least not entirely or solely.”
“Clearly he thinks so!” Hiroto spat, clearly trying to mask more hurt feelings with his anger.
“Then he’s an idiot. He doesn’t realize what he’s missing.”
The younger guitarist looked up and there was a tiny sparkle of hope, a plea for reassurance, in his eyes as he met the older’s soft smile. “You really think so, that he’s missing out on something?”
“Yeah, I do.” Without thinking Tora reached out and softly caressed Hiroto’s cheek, merely blinking as the other subconsciously leaned into the touch. Normally he would’ve retreated his hand, flinched even, but no such thoughts crossed his mind now. “You’re a great guy, Pon.”
The blonde smiled softly and closed his eyes, sighing almost inaudibly before sitting up straighter and thereby breaking the contact. Tora let his hand fall down onto the couch, briefly wondering what had just happened. But he brushed it off, they were friends and nothing more. He was just looking out for his band mate, offering a little bit of solace since two weeks was too short a time to mend a broken heart.
- - - -
It had been a good idea, not that Hiroto had been hard to convince. The younger loved amusement parks; the rides, the snacks, the games, the cotton candy - which Tora had reluctantly allowed him to have, knowing all too well what a bad combination Hiroto and pure sugar was. They’d gone up in the highest roller-coaster, where the younger shrieked adorably as the trains plunged down the steep slopes. They’d devoured candy and ice cream and, if the older wasn’t mistaking, things that could actually be considered proper food. Overall they’d had a splendid day; Tora couldn’t remember having seen Hiroto laugh so much in weeks.
The younger was laughing, or perhaps it was more of a giggle, even now. He was standing in front of yet another game, a shooting one, and was failing miserably. “I can’t do it!” he exclaimed and attempted a pout that immediately turned into a chuckle instead. “Let’s find another game.”
The game manager smiled at them as he accepted the toy gun back, but Tora’s hand shot out and grabbed it. “Of course you can do it,” he said convincingly. “Come here, like this.”
Placing himself behind the smaller man he almost draped himself over Hiroto. Perhaps it should feel awkward or strange, but it didn’t. Unknown to them people around assumed the two of them were a couple, because in that moment they definitely looked like one.
“Hold it like this, steady. Now take your aim.”
Standing back, so as to not be accused of cheating, he let the younger squeeze the trigger all on his own. Hiroto cried out victoriously as he hit the target and Tora discretely paid the guy behind the desk to make the shot count. The sugar-high squirrel finally got his prize; a small blue plushie kitten, one of those typical amusement park winnings.
“Aaw, it’s so cute!”
Tora smiled and shook his head, choosing not to mention just how much Hiroto sounded like his ex-boyfriend just then. “Told you, you could you do it.”
“Thank you!”
Suddenly the taller guitarist had an armful of sweet smelling blonde hair and soft limbs. He hadn’t expected that, not such an intense hug at least. Wrapping his arms around the smaller frame he pulled him a fraction of an inch closer, not entirely sure of why himself. All he knew was that it felt good to hold the younger man.
“Thank you,” Hiroto repeated, hardly more than a whisper this time. His large eyes slipped shut and a small sigh escaped him as he squeezed the taller man’s body. He wasn’t sure which he held closer Tora or the plush kitten. What he knew was that it felt good, very good, and he blamed the prolonged state of the hug on that.
- - - -
Every now and then management decided to treat the band to some encouragement. It could be a party held in their honour or, like tonight, a joint dinner for the members and the staff. It’d been nice, sushi and sashimi buffet with a bit of sake and a lot of good company on the side. Tora felt a positive tingle in his veins, the sign of just the right level of intoxication. Getting drunk in front of the company bosses was a bad idea, but everybody had been slightly buzzed tonight.
The two guitarists had left together, both of them oblivious to the jealous look Shou threw after their retrieving backs. The younger of the two had finally gotten around to getting his own place again, realising at last he couldn’t dwell in the past. Tora had objected, saying he was more than welcome to stay at his place, but Hiroto had been persistent. His new apartment was small, but the location was nice.
“Thanks for walking me home,” he said as they reached his door. It wasn’t too far from the restaurant, so they’d opted to walk despite the wintery weather.
“Don’t mention it.” The older grinned cheekily. “Can’t let anything happen to you.”
He almost winked but caught himself just in time, blaming the idea on the alcohol. Tokyo was a dangerous place at night, he didn’t like the thought of Hiroto walking the streets alone after dark. Logic told him the blonde had done so countless times before, but things were different now. Over the past weeks he’d grown fiercely protective of his fellow guitarist, not that Hiroto seemed to mind.
“Your place is across town though...” The younger sounded guilty, but Tora shrugged it off.
“I think I can afford a taxi.”
Hiroto looked up and their eyes met. Perhaps it was the alcohol, more likely the emotions built up over the past weeks, but the world sort of came to a halt. It was one of those things you read about in cheesy Harlequin novels, the kind Tora absolutely hated, but the grin faded off his lips as he looked down into Hiroto’s huge trusting eyes.
“Pon-“
He forgot what he was about to say as the younger reached up quickly before turning on his heels, letting the door slam shut between them. Tentatively Tora reached up and touched his lips, the chaste kiss still tingling on them. Staring at the door stupidly for several long minutes he finally turned around and walked all the way back home. He didn’t sleep at all that night.
- - - -
Several days later the two of them hadn’t said a single word about what had happened. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. Whenever Tora was around, Hiroto miraculously found something else to do, someone else to be with, talk to, go to... It frustrated the older guitarist beyond belief; hurt him even as he suddenly carried around so much he didn’t understand. He wanted to talk to Hiroto, ask him what the heck was going on and where they went from here. If it’d meant anything...
But Hiroto shunned him like the plague, refusing to be alone with the older. Four days after the unexpected event Tora finally snapped.
“Pon.”
There was no anger or malice in the name called out over the parking lot, yet anyone who’d heard it would’ve stopped dead. Hiroto, who had attempted to sneak back home unseen after practice, was no exception, the sheer and utter dominance with which his name was spoken left him feeling like he had no choice. He heard footsteps closing up and desperately wanted to run, but he couldn’t.
“I’m sorry!” he blurted even before Tora had come into proper view. “I’m sorry I kissed you, I-“
“Pon.”
“-don’t know what happened and I-“
“Pon.”
“-didn’t mean to. It just happened and I’m sorry and-“
“Pon!”
The shorter finally looked up and fell silent as he met the most unexpected of facial expressions; a smile. So bright and radiant, despite the lack of visible teeth, he felt something stir inside his chest. “It’s okay, Pon.”
“But you’re not gay,” he whispered, suddenly afraid to break the moment. “I know you’re not.”
“Doesn’t matter, I still liked it.”
Carefully he reached out and pushed a coil of blonde hair from the younger’s forehead. It was so soft, a lot softer than you’d assume. Hiroto, or rather the stylists, always cursed that fact when getting ready for gigs and photo shoots, but today it didn’t matter as it was allowed to fall however it pleased.
“Do I have to be gay to enjoy your kisses?”
“Well I’m not a girl...”
“Then I guess I’m bi.”
Without further thinking the taller leaned down and connected their lips again. This time it was not a short and fleeting touch. Lips moved together as Hiroto responded automatically, never hesitating to open up for the questioning tongue. Tora’s hand slipped into his hair and the younger wrapped his arms around a strong neck. It was slow and soft, but so intense the hairs on the back of Hiroto’s neck stood on end.
When they finally pulled apart there was a new gleam in Tora’s eyes, one that had Hiroto shivering pleasantly. “Come with me.”
The younger nodded and released the taller frame. They walked side by side, neither daring to touch the other during the train ride or the short walk from the station to Tora’s apartment. There was too much tension in the air, too much pent up that threatened to be released all at once. Only they hadn’t realised it was there until just now.
However, as soon as the door closed behind them the older pounced. It didn’t matter he was the less experienced; between the two of them Tora was so obviously the dominant one.
Hiroto found himself pinned against said door and kissed fiercely. His only ‘protest’ was a muffled moan. Lips and teeth and tongues moved together, hands roamed until they found bare skin. When they ultimately pulled apart it was solely for the need of oxygen. Tora’s normally somewhat pale eyes were bordering black and Hiroto was panting madly. They could both feel what their presence did to the other, a sensation leaving little room to question what would happen next.
Grabbing the younger’s hand Tora lead the way through the apartment, down to the bedroom. Hiroto wasn’t sure he’d ever been in there before. It was spacious, but not overly so, with a large bed as its centrepiece. A bed, not a futon; and it seemed to match the older guitarist perfectly.
Tora pulled the other in for another kiss and it didn’t take long till they lay tangled up on said bed, skin sliding against skin. The sight of Hiroto, flushed and clad in nothing but tenting boxers, was among the most erotic things the older guitarist had ever seen. Never in a million years had he expected to find himself positioned between the blonde’s slim thighs, but now that he was it felt so right.
“What are you doing?” Hiroto asked as the older paused in his actions.
“Nothing...” Tora trailed fingertips down the slim chest, delighted in the shiver he received. “I’m just...watching you.”
A cheeky sparkle lit up in the huge eyes. “Like what you see?” he asked and wiggled his hips as best he could with Tora’s larger frame on top of him.
The older faltered for a second as their erections rubbed together. “Stop fishing...”
At a loss for more words, he was not the talker out of the two after all, he leaned in to catch those pouty lips again. Hiroto moaned wantonly, a sound that turned into a sharp gasp as Tora ground their hips together roughly. This far he knew what he was doing, the art of kissing and undressing didn’t change when you were with a man instead of a woman. But he was approaching thin ice and he was aware of it.
Sensing his anxiety Hiroto pulled away just enough to meet the other’s eyes. He licked his kiss swollen lips and tried to catch his spinning thoughts. “Have you got any lube?”
Whispered the question sounded at the same time intimate and dirty. It pulled at strings inside Tora’s chest he was convinced no one had ever reached before. The sensation was...overwhelming.
“Not for these kind of activities,” he replied lowly and carefully threaded fingers through blonde locks.
Hiroto was mildly surprised Tora knew there was special lube for...this sort of activities. But then Tora had shocked him a lot this evening. “I’m not new to this, any kind will do.”
Burying his face against Hiroto’s neck for a second, in a very rare display of nervousness that somehow made the younger feel very special, Tora then reached over to the nightstand. Inside he found lube and condoms, both of which landed on the bed, and Hiroto kissed the shell of his ear in reassurance. “One at a time,” he whispered. “You’ll know when you’re doing it right.”
The following minutes were ones Tora would never forget. It was a strange feeling, peeling off Hiroto’s underwear and letting a slick finger slip inside him. But the sounds the younger emitted with every stroke, every motion, were enough to keep him going. The hand not trapped between the spread thighs was carefully making patterns on whatever patches of skin it could find; Hiroto’s neck, his side, his chest with the perked nipples. By the time he inserted a third digit he’d kissed his way down all across the chest and stomach until he’d reached the hip. He could smell the arousal leaking from the blonde’s erection, but he was not confident enough to taste it just yet. Not that he needed to.
“Tora...” Hiroto swallowed thickly. “Tora, curl your fingers.”
Tora followed orders and the way Hiroto cried out and arched off the bed nearly made him come then and there. He’d heard stories of the prostate, many more vivid than he would’ve liked, but to actually see the results his own hand could produce was a whole different matter. Repeating the action several times over he wasn’t sure whom he drove closest to the edge, Hiroto or himself.
Retract his fingers Tora made quick business of putting on the condom, too worked up to wait any longer. Hiroto looked up at him through half-lidded eyes and licked his lips, nodding two times at the unspoken question in the older’s short hesitation. Those eyes rolled back in his head as Tora pushed inside, large and warm and heavy he filled him up more gloriously than Hiroto could remember anyone else ever having done before.
Contrary to the younger’s Tora’s eyes shot open in surprised shock at the tightness that clamped down around him. There was no comparing this to sex with a woman and at that very moment he was certain this was the better deal. Hiroto was so tight around him and he could feel the muscles clench heatedly along his entire length. His lungs burned as he forgot to breathe and when he finally did it was all gasps and groans.
Hiroto wrapped legs around narrow hips and pulled, closer, deeper. “Please,” he begged and clawed somewhat desperately on Tora’s biceps. “Fuck me.”
It was lewd and vulgar and sounded so wrong falling from Hiroto’s lips, or it would have had Tora been anywhere but inside him and more than happy to oblige. Pulling his hips back slightly, nearly forgetting to breathe at the intense friction, he snapped them forward again and drowned in the sounds Hiroto emitted. It didn’t take long after that, frantic hips thrusting irregularly, stuttering to completion and somehow dragging Hiroto with him over the edge.
- - -
Afterwards they lay panting for a long time, Tora sprawled on top of Hiroto, still inside him. Hiroto didn’t complain, Tora was bigger and slightly heavy yes, but it felt too good to have him so close. He felt special, truly so, in many ways. Tora had never been with a man before, but he hadn’t hesitated in being with him, and he’d been there ever since Shou and he broke up.
Tora chuckled tiredly, air ghosting over Hiroto’s sweaty skin and causing goosebumps. “Sorry if that was a bit disappointing,” he said, all honest amusement and no embarrassment.
“What are you talking about?” Hiroto stifled a yawn and absentmindedly pulled his fingers through damp dark hair. He felt satisfied and sated and boneless, exhausted in the most pleasurable way possible, and in many ways he just wanted to sleep. But sleeping meant he had to wake up tomorrow and while he was tired he never wanted this night to end, because somewhere in the back of his mind there was a tiny voice telling him he didn’t know what happened next.
If Tora felt his insecurities he didn’t show it, only nuzzled his nose closer to Hiroto’s sweet smelling neck and smiled, causing the younger to shiver as the piercing scraped his skin. “I promise you that was far from my best performance,” he mumbled, kissing and nibbling the skin beneath his lips lazily.
Slowly Tora pulled himself up, joins popping uncomfortably as he shifted as little as possible, just enough to allow him to gaze down on Hiroto. The blonde looked nervous, plump lower lip caught between teeth and chewed slowly, something slightly frightened in his huge eyes. Tora stroke his cheek carefully. “I hope you’ll give me a chance to rectify that performance,” he said softly.
“You want to do this again?” Hiroto’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, lip automatically released so he could speak. Tora smiled at the sight, feeling far too comfortable to move, and even more content.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “I don’t usually bring men into my bed, and now that you’re here I want you to stay.”
He meant it, in the time passed since Hiroto and Shou broke up the small guitarist had somehow wormed his way into Tora’s life, not just band- and music- and work wise, but into his private life. Into his heart, even if it might be too early still to talk about such things as love. Leaning down he kissed Hiroto, soft and slow without the hasty desperation that’d characterized their kisses before, tried to pour genuine emotion into it instead. Then he regretfully pulled out, hissing at the less than comfortable feeling on his oversensitive body, and without second thoughts discarded the condom on the floor. Flopping down on his side he pulled the small, slightly dazed body into his arms.
“What are you thinking about?” he murmured sleepily into soft coils of blonde, almost surprised at how natural it felt to lie naked next to another man, his band mate nonetheless.
Hiroto snuggled closer, made himself comfortable against a strong chest and yawned. “I hardly know,” he admitted with a soft giggle. “I’m exhausted, but...I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in weeks.”
The arms around him tightened their grip slightly, a comfortable comforting hug. “I’m glad,” Tora said lowly, and they drifted off to sleep, not even bothering to clean themselves up.
- - -
In the two weeks following their first night together Tora had plenty of opportunities to show Hiroto how good he could be in bed and he made sure to make good use of them all. With the help of guiding words and illustrative fingers he became even better, learnt all the differences there were to know between sex with a woman and sex with a man, discovered all the things Hiroto loved in bed and how to best please his newfound lover. It was two of the most exciting and pleasurable weeks in Tora’s life.
“You so owe me a massage at lunch,” Hiroto whined as he tried to discretely rub his lower back while they entered the studio building.
Tora laughed and had to restrain himself from touching the younger. “You said you wanted it rough last night,” he murmured, an amused tone to his voice as he tried to not draw attention to them. They’d yet to tell their other band mates they were seeing each other, worried what especially Shou would have to say about it. Alice Nine might’ve survived the breakup of Shou and Hiroto, but there was no guarantee the band would come through the information Hiroto had moved on to another member within the band.
The younger guitarist didn’t reply, merely grinned stupidly as they entered the studio room and greeted the other members. Practice flowed flawlessly, all of them doing a good job and actually getting a lot of work and planning done. Nao seemed beyond pleased as he called an end to the day, packed up his drum sticks and ran off in the direction of Starbucks, Saga strolling out close behind him. Hiroto and Tora barely recognised Shou lingering behind with them as they packed up their guitars, laughing at something and discussing where would be a good place to go get dinner since neither felt like cooking tonight.
“Hiroto?” the vocalist finally asked softly, his clean voice cutting through the conversation and gaining him their full attention.
“Yes?”
Tora could tell Hiroto was nervous by the way he licked his lips before biting down on the lower one, and he had no doubt Shou noticed it too. The two of them, Shou and Hiroto, had dated a lot longer than he and Hiroto had, and as much as Tora would like to state otherwise he was fairly certain Shou still knew Hiroto better on a personal level than he did.
Shou who seemed to hesitate slightly, large eyes darting between the two guitarists in a manner which also spoke of nervousness. “How have you...been...lately?” he asked shakily, the confidence with which he normally spoke suddenly vapourised.
“Not bad,” Hiroto replied honestly and glanced towards Tora, mentally beating himself up the moment he realised where his eyes had strayed.
“That’s good,” Shou said slowly, slight frown on his face as he once more looked between the two guitarists. “I mean...I’m glad you haven’t been...”
He was staggering and it made Hiroto uncomfortable as well. “No, no, I haven’t,” he said quickly, not sure what it was he hadn’t, merely hoping to make Shou shut up or at least stop staggering, it truly was unnerving.
The singer singed and closed his eyes briefly. “What I’m trying to say is...” Opening them again he looked straight at Tora. “Do you mind giving us some privacy?” her asked, voice more malignant than he’d intended.
“As a matter of fact I do,” Tora replied and took a step closer to Hiroto, pretty much confirming what Shou was already suspecting. Hiroto sighed and bit his lip harder, closed his eyes for a moment as if he could make all of it disappear by not looking at it.
“Please Tora.” His voice was barely above a whisper and he couldn’t look at the taller, didn’t want to see the hurt expression he knew was there. He was sending Tora away, asking him to step back, walk away, and he knew it hurt the possessive man who had done nothing but looked out for him during the past weeks. “I need to talk to Shou.”
Tora swallowed hard, tried to get rid of the bitter acrid taste in his mouth. “Fine,” he said, voice hard and cold, a sign on fear but he wasn’t sure Hiroto knew to interpret it right just yet. He grabbed his guitar case and walked out, not looking back, and Hiroto flinched as the door slammed shut.
- - -
He’d smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes by the time someone knocked on his door. At first Tora thought to ignore it, but he had a feeling he knew who it was and it was not someone he could ignore. His defenses were still raised high, body language hostile and cold, as he jerked the door open and leaned against the door frame, cigarette still between his lips, and crossed his arms over his chest.
“What?”
Hiroto looked nervous, felt even more so, as he looked up at the older. “Don’t be angry with me,” he begged. “I needed to talk to Shou, needed to tell him, and I thought he deserved me telling him alone.”
Tora felt something stir inside him, a flicker of hope and his defences cracking slightly against his will. “Tell him what?” he asked, voice a nuance warmer than before.
Huge brown eyes met his steady, nervousness and hope and warmth mixing to a plead for understanding. “That you’re my lover now, and that I’m staying with you.”
The cigarette burned a hole in the doormat but Tora ignored it, didn’t even notice it’d fallen from his lips as he stepped forward to pull Hiroto into his arms, into a hug almost too tight for comfort that was just what they both needed.
“I thought,” he mumbled into the sweet smelling hair he’d grown so fond of. “I thought you’d go back to him.”
Hiroto shook his head violently and looked up at him. “No, I want to stay right here. You took care of me when I was at my worst, you let me rant and cry, even bitch like a girl at times.” He giggled at some random memory. “And you made me feel happy again, safe and cared for in a way I never felt with Shou. If you let me, I want to stay with you.”
“You idiot,” Tora said softly, lopsided grin brightening his face as he carefully combed his fingers through Hiroto’s hair. “Haven’t you realised I’m falling in love with you?”
The younger flushed slightly, bright, bright smile decorating his face as well at the words. Standing on his tip toes he pulled the other down for a kiss, sweet and comforting and almost bubbling over with care and budding love. He felt warm and happy and as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Tora wanted him to stay, said he was falling in love with him even, and though Shou had seemed genuinely sad to let go of him, the vocalist had promised not to cause a fuss over it, meaning Alice Nine was not in any danger either.
“You’re grinning so bad I can barely kiss you,” Tora teased and pulled him into the apartment, hastily picking up the cigarette butt and tossed it out onto the cement floor in the stairwell.
“I’m happy!” Hiroto burst out and laughed at his own emotions. Shedding his jacket and toeing off his shoes he walked into the apartment and into the kitchen, sticking his head into the fridge to see if there was any juice. “You don’t mind if I spend the night, right?”
Tora wrapped his arms around the slender waist, choking back a giggle as Hiroto yelped in surprise. “I don’t think I ever want you to leave,” he said softly.
Hiroto glanced over his shoulder and smirked. “Mind if we wait a little with moving in together?”
There was nothing but humour in his voice and Tora grinned, stealing a quick kiss before he handed him the juice and let go. “Well alright, but you have to make it up to me.”
Brown eyes sparked mischievously and the juice was left on the counter as Hiroto pushed him backwards into the bedroom.
Chapter: Oneshot
Author: invisiblehabits
Genre: Romance/Light angst/Fluff
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Malexmale sex, some angst, and if that is a warning then so is fluff!
Pairings: Tora/Hiroto, Shou/Hiroto
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t know. Won’t make money unless you feel like paying me to read.
Summary: Placing himself behind the smaller man he almost draped himself over Hiroto. Perhaps it should feel awkward or strange, but it didn’t. Unknown to them people around assumed the two of them were a couple, because in that moment they definitely looked like one.
Comments: Woah, how long has it been, two weeks? And I’m not even bringing you and vampires. Instead you get a dose of ToraPon! I hope that makes up for something at least. This is actually a story I started nearly a year ago and never finished, found it now, reworked it quite a bit and finally wrote an ending! I’m still slightly worried my writing style might’ve changed a bit between the first and the second half, feel free to give me a guess of where I ended a year ago and started up now if you wish, and it is un-betad, but I really wanted to post something tonight! So yes, here you go, fluff! Wtf?!
It was raining when he left the building, a real downpour that drenched him entirely the second he stepped out into it. Cursing the fact he hadn’t brought an umbrella Tora wondered what had compelled him into driving to the studio this autumn day. He hated driving in the rain and today’s prognosis had promises massive amounts of precipitation. He also wanted to know what the hell had driven Hiroto to run out of practice over an hour ago. Their youngest member had given no explanation whatsoever and Shou had, uncharacteristically, merely shrugged it off. The older guitarist had only assumed that their vocalist knew something the rest of them didn’t; he was Hiroto’s boyfriend after all.
He still remembered the shock he’d felt when the two of them had first announced their relationship a year ago. It was no surprise that Shou was gay, the man was even more flamboyant offstage than he was in public appearance, but somehow he had never expected Hiroto to go for men. He’d seen the skilled guitarist flirt left and right at parties and clubs, but only ever with females. And honestly, Shou? Tora loved Shou, as a friend. The idea of living with him, however, made the him chuckle despite the cold growing into his very bones from the rainfall. He could vividly imagine the singer’s morning temper (he was horrible before he’d gotten coffee) and the fits he could throw when his hair wouldn’t lay properly. No thank you, touring together was bad enough; he was more than happy to leave the gay pride behind when he stepped out of the studio.
Pulling the collar of his black coat further up around his face, which was rather unnecessary since he was already soaking wet, he started off towards his car. He’d only taken a few steps when something caught his attention. At first he thought he was mistaking, but it was in fact Hiroto. The already small guitarist looked tiny where he sat curled up into himself among the litter of the back alley, it was a minor miracle Tora caught eye of him in the first place, he was almost entirely hidden behind what looked like old cardboard boxes. The blonde hair was plastered to the innocent looking face, where the makeup he’d obviously been wearing had been smudged all over it.
“What the hell?” Tora exclaimed and effortlessly pulled the younger to his feet and steadied him with a firm grip around the slim shoulders. Hiroto was shivering so violently the older feared he might crumble to the ground, but with a bit of support he remained standing. “Pon, how long have you been sitting here?”
The younger’s teeth were clattering so much he couldn’t hear the reply, but Tora was worried he’d been there ever since he ran out of the studio. “Come on, you need to get warm.”
“I don’t want to go home!” Despite the weakness of the voice, the near panic was evident in it and it caused the taller to frown. “Fine,” he agreed. “Then you’re coming with me.”
It was a rather apathetic being Tora pulled along and pushed down in the passenger seat of his car, the ride was spent in silence and Hiroto didn’t object to being pulled inside the other’s downtown apartment, if anything he seemed relieved to not have to go home. The older guitarist knew Shou and Hiroto had moved in together only a couple of weeks back, so it was quite disturbing to see the blonde flinch whenever home was mentioned. Tora desperately wanted to know what was wrong, the protective side in him sparked up by the other’s beaten puppy look, but first he settled on getting Hiroto out of his soaked clothes and almost forcefully pushed him into the shower.
“You need to heat up, Pon. I’ll leave some dry clothes for you here.”
He received nothing for an answer as he put a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that no doubt would be two miles too long for the younger on the counter. Sighing he closed the bathroom door, content for the time being with hearing the shower running, and went into the kitchen to make some hot tea.
- - - -
“We argued last night. Actually…it was more of a fight.”
Hiroto had spent nearly an hour in the shower before appearing in the kitchen, clad in the clothes Tora had left for him. The sight of him; wet hair and unmasked face, his thin body nearly drowning in the taller’s clothes, was enough to make Tora’s heart clench. He looked so small and disoriented as he took a seat and accepted a mug of steaming hot tea.
“Tora…” The eyes looking up at the older were brimmed with tears. “I think it’s over.”
It took a second for Tora’s mind to catch up with the words, to fully comprehend what the younger had just said. ‘It’s over’, as in Shou’s and Hiroto’s relationship having come to an end.
“But…” He probably looked as stunned as he felt. During the hour since the guitarist had picked his band mate off the street he’d naturally tried to think of explanations, but this! Shamefully Tora had to admit one of his first thoughts went to the band; would they be able to continue on? What would happen to Alice Nine? It was impossible to imagine them continuing without either Hiroto or Shou.
The younger dried a tear from the corner of his eye and sniffled, efficiently snapping Tora back to the moment. “What happened, Pon?”
“I…” A tired, and way too cynical to belong to the younger, chuckle rolled off the pouty lips. “I hardly know myself. Ever since we moved in together we’ve been snapping at each other left and right, idiotic things like a guitar strap having been misplaced or a tube of hair gel ending up among the cans of hair spray!”
To Tora the story sounded pretty normal this far, sort of like when you went home to visit the family and suddenly had to get used to living with other people again. If it hadn’t been for the utterly sad and defeated look on Hiroto’s features he would’ve laughed it off as nothingness. “And last night?”
The effect was immediate as the younger’s face crumbled into a mask of perfect pain. “We started arguing about something again, I don’t even remember what it was, but it just got worse and worse until we were flat out screaming at each other. I think I threw a glass or something to the wall and Shou…” The pause was foreboding and Tora felt himself tense up.
“Did he hit you?”
“No! No.” Hiroto looked shocked at the mere suggestion. “No, but he told me it was all a mistake, that we never should’ve moved in together. He…he told me to fuck off, so I did. I spent the night at Aki’s and today…”
The younger guitarist didn’t have to say more, Tora had noticed how Shou and Hiroto had been oddly distant in the studio this day, but he hadn’t thought more of it. In light of this new information the situation suddenly appeared a whole lot different. Tora was not a very physical being, but now he reached forward and pried one of the small calloused hands off the mug they were frantically gripping. Taking it in a firm hold he stroked the back of it with his own thumb.
“I’m sorry, Pon. But I’m sure it’ll work out.”
“I love him…”
“See, that’s a pretty good start.”
Hopefully his smile was as reassuring as he attempted it to be. The words were not a lie, he really hoped it would work out between his fellow band members, but he was worried Hiroto was up for a rough time.
“Sleep here tonight,” he offered. “You’ll be drenched all over again if you head over to Aki now.”
The blonde smiled, still sadly but with a lot of gratitude in his eyes. “Thanks Tora, I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say nothing.” The older stood up, thereby breaking the hold of their hands, and poured the cold remnants of tea out in the sink. Looking over his shoulder he smiled again and this time he knew it was both honest and reassuring. “It’s what friends are for.”
- - - -
They were sitting in Aki’s kitchen, the bassist out with his own band doing a show neither of them had been up to attending. Normally they’d be at Tora’s place or out somewhere, but the plan had been for the older to drop Hiroto off and head home. A simple request for some company was all it’d taken to make Tora stay however. The two of them had hung out a lot in the past days, friendship intensified dramatically by the unexpected events not even a week back.
“I just don’t get it!” Hiroto exclaimed for the umpteenth time, angrily wiping his eyes where unwanted tears threatened to spill over. “We were doing so well, everything was fucking perfect and I was so thrilled about finally moving in together. Then…”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Tora filled in as the other trailed off. “Maybe it was too soon, maybe it simply wouldn’t have worked out at all. Let’s face it, you’re both rather stubborn beings.”
“Oh gee, thanks,” the younger said in a tone that perfectly displayed what the older had just stated. “You’re saying it was all my fault, that if only I hadn’t been so stubborn and-“
“You wouldn’t have been yourself.” The interruption successfully shut the blonde up, an accomplishment for which Tora all but patted himself on the head. “You are a stubborn person, Pon, as is Shou. Neither of you should change that, but… I don’t know, maybe you simply weren’t ready to make the compromises required for living together.”
The younger sighed heavily and wiped at another runaway tear. “Maybe you’re right… It just seemed so right though, we seemed so right.” Standing up he grabbed the now empty coffee cups and put them in the dishwasher. “I honestly thought he was the one, Tora…”
There really wasn’t much for the older to say other than: “I’m sorry Pon.”
- - - -
“Can you believe he just ignored me like that yesterday?!”
The small guitarist was, of course, referring to his ex-boyfriend and the way in which the vocalist had flat out ignored him at yesterday’s band meeting. Shou would talk with everyone else and never failed to comment on any suggestions made no matter where they came from or what they were about. Except if the spokesman was their youngest member. Whenever Hiroto tried to say something, make a suggestion or ask a question, Shou would act as if he hadn’t heard a thing.
“No, I was a bit surprised actually.”
“It’s like he doesn’t even see me,” Hiroto said with a heavy sigh and plopped down in the sofa next to his fellow guitarist. “You’d almost think he never cared about me.”
“He cared, Pon.” There were no traits of doubt in Tora’s voice speaking those words. “You don’t act like he did for the past year unless you care. And you don’t stay for so long either.”
“I just don’t see what I did wrong…” The older was glad Hiroto was at least past crying by now. Not because he didn’t understand the need to shed tears or blamed the younger for doing so, but because watching Hiroto’s trusting eyes fill up with tears cut like a knife through his chest.
“We’ve been over this, it wasn’t your fault. At least not entirely or solely.”
“Clearly he thinks so!” Hiroto spat, clearly trying to mask more hurt feelings with his anger.
“Then he’s an idiot. He doesn’t realize what he’s missing.”
The younger guitarist looked up and there was a tiny sparkle of hope, a plea for reassurance, in his eyes as he met the older’s soft smile. “You really think so, that he’s missing out on something?”
“Yeah, I do.” Without thinking Tora reached out and softly caressed Hiroto’s cheek, merely blinking as the other subconsciously leaned into the touch. Normally he would’ve retreated his hand, flinched even, but no such thoughts crossed his mind now. “You’re a great guy, Pon.”
The blonde smiled softly and closed his eyes, sighing almost inaudibly before sitting up straighter and thereby breaking the contact. Tora let his hand fall down onto the couch, briefly wondering what had just happened. But he brushed it off, they were friends and nothing more. He was just looking out for his band mate, offering a little bit of solace since two weeks was too short a time to mend a broken heart.
- - - -
It had been a good idea, not that Hiroto had been hard to convince. The younger loved amusement parks; the rides, the snacks, the games, the cotton candy - which Tora had reluctantly allowed him to have, knowing all too well what a bad combination Hiroto and pure sugar was. They’d gone up in the highest roller-coaster, where the younger shrieked adorably as the trains plunged down the steep slopes. They’d devoured candy and ice cream and, if the older wasn’t mistaking, things that could actually be considered proper food. Overall they’d had a splendid day; Tora couldn’t remember having seen Hiroto laugh so much in weeks.
The younger was laughing, or perhaps it was more of a giggle, even now. He was standing in front of yet another game, a shooting one, and was failing miserably. “I can’t do it!” he exclaimed and attempted a pout that immediately turned into a chuckle instead. “Let’s find another game.”
The game manager smiled at them as he accepted the toy gun back, but Tora’s hand shot out and grabbed it. “Of course you can do it,” he said convincingly. “Come here, like this.”
Placing himself behind the smaller man he almost draped himself over Hiroto. Perhaps it should feel awkward or strange, but it didn’t. Unknown to them people around assumed the two of them were a couple, because in that moment they definitely looked like one.
“Hold it like this, steady. Now take your aim.”
Standing back, so as to not be accused of cheating, he let the younger squeeze the trigger all on his own. Hiroto cried out victoriously as he hit the target and Tora discretely paid the guy behind the desk to make the shot count. The sugar-high squirrel finally got his prize; a small blue plushie kitten, one of those typical amusement park winnings.
“Aaw, it’s so cute!”
Tora smiled and shook his head, choosing not to mention just how much Hiroto sounded like his ex-boyfriend just then. “Told you, you could you do it.”
“Thank you!”
Suddenly the taller guitarist had an armful of sweet smelling blonde hair and soft limbs. He hadn’t expected that, not such an intense hug at least. Wrapping his arms around the smaller frame he pulled him a fraction of an inch closer, not entirely sure of why himself. All he knew was that it felt good to hold the younger man.
“Thank you,” Hiroto repeated, hardly more than a whisper this time. His large eyes slipped shut and a small sigh escaped him as he squeezed the taller man’s body. He wasn’t sure which he held closer Tora or the plush kitten. What he knew was that it felt good, very good, and he blamed the prolonged state of the hug on that.
- - - -
Every now and then management decided to treat the band to some encouragement. It could be a party held in their honour or, like tonight, a joint dinner for the members and the staff. It’d been nice, sushi and sashimi buffet with a bit of sake and a lot of good company on the side. Tora felt a positive tingle in his veins, the sign of just the right level of intoxication. Getting drunk in front of the company bosses was a bad idea, but everybody had been slightly buzzed tonight.
The two guitarists had left together, both of them oblivious to the jealous look Shou threw after their retrieving backs. The younger of the two had finally gotten around to getting his own place again, realising at last he couldn’t dwell in the past. Tora had objected, saying he was more than welcome to stay at his place, but Hiroto had been persistent. His new apartment was small, but the location was nice.
“Thanks for walking me home,” he said as they reached his door. It wasn’t too far from the restaurant, so they’d opted to walk despite the wintery weather.
“Don’t mention it.” The older grinned cheekily. “Can’t let anything happen to you.”
He almost winked but caught himself just in time, blaming the idea on the alcohol. Tokyo was a dangerous place at night, he didn’t like the thought of Hiroto walking the streets alone after dark. Logic told him the blonde had done so countless times before, but things were different now. Over the past weeks he’d grown fiercely protective of his fellow guitarist, not that Hiroto seemed to mind.
“Your place is across town though...” The younger sounded guilty, but Tora shrugged it off.
“I think I can afford a taxi.”
Hiroto looked up and their eyes met. Perhaps it was the alcohol, more likely the emotions built up over the past weeks, but the world sort of came to a halt. It was one of those things you read about in cheesy Harlequin novels, the kind Tora absolutely hated, but the grin faded off his lips as he looked down into Hiroto’s huge trusting eyes.
“Pon-“
He forgot what he was about to say as the younger reached up quickly before turning on his heels, letting the door slam shut between them. Tentatively Tora reached up and touched his lips, the chaste kiss still tingling on them. Staring at the door stupidly for several long minutes he finally turned around and walked all the way back home. He didn’t sleep at all that night.
- - - -
Several days later the two of them hadn’t said a single word about what had happened. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. Whenever Tora was around, Hiroto miraculously found something else to do, someone else to be with, talk to, go to... It frustrated the older guitarist beyond belief; hurt him even as he suddenly carried around so much he didn’t understand. He wanted to talk to Hiroto, ask him what the heck was going on and where they went from here. If it’d meant anything...
But Hiroto shunned him like the plague, refusing to be alone with the older. Four days after the unexpected event Tora finally snapped.
“Pon.”
There was no anger or malice in the name called out over the parking lot, yet anyone who’d heard it would’ve stopped dead. Hiroto, who had attempted to sneak back home unseen after practice, was no exception, the sheer and utter dominance with which his name was spoken left him feeling like he had no choice. He heard footsteps closing up and desperately wanted to run, but he couldn’t.
“I’m sorry!” he blurted even before Tora had come into proper view. “I’m sorry I kissed you, I-“
“Pon.”
“-don’t know what happened and I-“
“Pon.”
“-didn’t mean to. It just happened and I’m sorry and-“
“Pon!”
The shorter finally looked up and fell silent as he met the most unexpected of facial expressions; a smile. So bright and radiant, despite the lack of visible teeth, he felt something stir inside his chest. “It’s okay, Pon.”
“But you’re not gay,” he whispered, suddenly afraid to break the moment. “I know you’re not.”
“Doesn’t matter, I still liked it.”
Carefully he reached out and pushed a coil of blonde hair from the younger’s forehead. It was so soft, a lot softer than you’d assume. Hiroto, or rather the stylists, always cursed that fact when getting ready for gigs and photo shoots, but today it didn’t matter as it was allowed to fall however it pleased.
“Do I have to be gay to enjoy your kisses?”
“Well I’m not a girl...”
“Then I guess I’m bi.”
Without further thinking the taller leaned down and connected their lips again. This time it was not a short and fleeting touch. Lips moved together as Hiroto responded automatically, never hesitating to open up for the questioning tongue. Tora’s hand slipped into his hair and the younger wrapped his arms around a strong neck. It was slow and soft, but so intense the hairs on the back of Hiroto’s neck stood on end.
When they finally pulled apart there was a new gleam in Tora’s eyes, one that had Hiroto shivering pleasantly. “Come with me.”
The younger nodded and released the taller frame. They walked side by side, neither daring to touch the other during the train ride or the short walk from the station to Tora’s apartment. There was too much tension in the air, too much pent up that threatened to be released all at once. Only they hadn’t realised it was there until just now.
However, as soon as the door closed behind them the older pounced. It didn’t matter he was the less experienced; between the two of them Tora was so obviously the dominant one.
Hiroto found himself pinned against said door and kissed fiercely. His only ‘protest’ was a muffled moan. Lips and teeth and tongues moved together, hands roamed until they found bare skin. When they ultimately pulled apart it was solely for the need of oxygen. Tora’s normally somewhat pale eyes were bordering black and Hiroto was panting madly. They could both feel what their presence did to the other, a sensation leaving little room to question what would happen next.
Grabbing the younger’s hand Tora lead the way through the apartment, down to the bedroom. Hiroto wasn’t sure he’d ever been in there before. It was spacious, but not overly so, with a large bed as its centrepiece. A bed, not a futon; and it seemed to match the older guitarist perfectly.
Tora pulled the other in for another kiss and it didn’t take long till they lay tangled up on said bed, skin sliding against skin. The sight of Hiroto, flushed and clad in nothing but tenting boxers, was among the most erotic things the older guitarist had ever seen. Never in a million years had he expected to find himself positioned between the blonde’s slim thighs, but now that he was it felt so right.
“What are you doing?” Hiroto asked as the older paused in his actions.
“Nothing...” Tora trailed fingertips down the slim chest, delighted in the shiver he received. “I’m just...watching you.”
A cheeky sparkle lit up in the huge eyes. “Like what you see?” he asked and wiggled his hips as best he could with Tora’s larger frame on top of him.
The older faltered for a second as their erections rubbed together. “Stop fishing...”
At a loss for more words, he was not the talker out of the two after all, he leaned in to catch those pouty lips again. Hiroto moaned wantonly, a sound that turned into a sharp gasp as Tora ground their hips together roughly. This far he knew what he was doing, the art of kissing and undressing didn’t change when you were with a man instead of a woman. But he was approaching thin ice and he was aware of it.
Sensing his anxiety Hiroto pulled away just enough to meet the other’s eyes. He licked his kiss swollen lips and tried to catch his spinning thoughts. “Have you got any lube?”
Whispered the question sounded at the same time intimate and dirty. It pulled at strings inside Tora’s chest he was convinced no one had ever reached before. The sensation was...overwhelming.
“Not for these kind of activities,” he replied lowly and carefully threaded fingers through blonde locks.
Hiroto was mildly surprised Tora knew there was special lube for...this sort of activities. But then Tora had shocked him a lot this evening. “I’m not new to this, any kind will do.”
Burying his face against Hiroto’s neck for a second, in a very rare display of nervousness that somehow made the younger feel very special, Tora then reached over to the nightstand. Inside he found lube and condoms, both of which landed on the bed, and Hiroto kissed the shell of his ear in reassurance. “One at a time,” he whispered. “You’ll know when you’re doing it right.”
The following minutes were ones Tora would never forget. It was a strange feeling, peeling off Hiroto’s underwear and letting a slick finger slip inside him. But the sounds the younger emitted with every stroke, every motion, were enough to keep him going. The hand not trapped between the spread thighs was carefully making patterns on whatever patches of skin it could find; Hiroto’s neck, his side, his chest with the perked nipples. By the time he inserted a third digit he’d kissed his way down all across the chest and stomach until he’d reached the hip. He could smell the arousal leaking from the blonde’s erection, but he was not confident enough to taste it just yet. Not that he needed to.
“Tora...” Hiroto swallowed thickly. “Tora, curl your fingers.”
Tora followed orders and the way Hiroto cried out and arched off the bed nearly made him come then and there. He’d heard stories of the prostate, many more vivid than he would’ve liked, but to actually see the results his own hand could produce was a whole different matter. Repeating the action several times over he wasn’t sure whom he drove closest to the edge, Hiroto or himself.
Retract his fingers Tora made quick business of putting on the condom, too worked up to wait any longer. Hiroto looked up at him through half-lidded eyes and licked his lips, nodding two times at the unspoken question in the older’s short hesitation. Those eyes rolled back in his head as Tora pushed inside, large and warm and heavy he filled him up more gloriously than Hiroto could remember anyone else ever having done before.
Contrary to the younger’s Tora’s eyes shot open in surprised shock at the tightness that clamped down around him. There was no comparing this to sex with a woman and at that very moment he was certain this was the better deal. Hiroto was so tight around him and he could feel the muscles clench heatedly along his entire length. His lungs burned as he forgot to breathe and when he finally did it was all gasps and groans.
Hiroto wrapped legs around narrow hips and pulled, closer, deeper. “Please,” he begged and clawed somewhat desperately on Tora’s biceps. “Fuck me.”
It was lewd and vulgar and sounded so wrong falling from Hiroto’s lips, or it would have had Tora been anywhere but inside him and more than happy to oblige. Pulling his hips back slightly, nearly forgetting to breathe at the intense friction, he snapped them forward again and drowned in the sounds Hiroto emitted. It didn’t take long after that, frantic hips thrusting irregularly, stuttering to completion and somehow dragging Hiroto with him over the edge.
- - -
Afterwards they lay panting for a long time, Tora sprawled on top of Hiroto, still inside him. Hiroto didn’t complain, Tora was bigger and slightly heavy yes, but it felt too good to have him so close. He felt special, truly so, in many ways. Tora had never been with a man before, but he hadn’t hesitated in being with him, and he’d been there ever since Shou and he broke up.
Tora chuckled tiredly, air ghosting over Hiroto’s sweaty skin and causing goosebumps. “Sorry if that was a bit disappointing,” he said, all honest amusement and no embarrassment.
“What are you talking about?” Hiroto stifled a yawn and absentmindedly pulled his fingers through damp dark hair. He felt satisfied and sated and boneless, exhausted in the most pleasurable way possible, and in many ways he just wanted to sleep. But sleeping meant he had to wake up tomorrow and while he was tired he never wanted this night to end, because somewhere in the back of his mind there was a tiny voice telling him he didn’t know what happened next.
If Tora felt his insecurities he didn’t show it, only nuzzled his nose closer to Hiroto’s sweet smelling neck and smiled, causing the younger to shiver as the piercing scraped his skin. “I promise you that was far from my best performance,” he mumbled, kissing and nibbling the skin beneath his lips lazily.
Slowly Tora pulled himself up, joins popping uncomfortably as he shifted as little as possible, just enough to allow him to gaze down on Hiroto. The blonde looked nervous, plump lower lip caught between teeth and chewed slowly, something slightly frightened in his huge eyes. Tora stroke his cheek carefully. “I hope you’ll give me a chance to rectify that performance,” he said softly.
“You want to do this again?” Hiroto’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, lip automatically released so he could speak. Tora smiled at the sight, feeling far too comfortable to move, and even more content.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “I don’t usually bring men into my bed, and now that you’re here I want you to stay.”
He meant it, in the time passed since Hiroto and Shou broke up the small guitarist had somehow wormed his way into Tora’s life, not just band- and music- and work wise, but into his private life. Into his heart, even if it might be too early still to talk about such things as love. Leaning down he kissed Hiroto, soft and slow without the hasty desperation that’d characterized their kisses before, tried to pour genuine emotion into it instead. Then he regretfully pulled out, hissing at the less than comfortable feeling on his oversensitive body, and without second thoughts discarded the condom on the floor. Flopping down on his side he pulled the small, slightly dazed body into his arms.
“What are you thinking about?” he murmured sleepily into soft coils of blonde, almost surprised at how natural it felt to lie naked next to another man, his band mate nonetheless.
Hiroto snuggled closer, made himself comfortable against a strong chest and yawned. “I hardly know,” he admitted with a soft giggle. “I’m exhausted, but...I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in weeks.”
The arms around him tightened their grip slightly, a comfortable comforting hug. “I’m glad,” Tora said lowly, and they drifted off to sleep, not even bothering to clean themselves up.
- - -
In the two weeks following their first night together Tora had plenty of opportunities to show Hiroto how good he could be in bed and he made sure to make good use of them all. With the help of guiding words and illustrative fingers he became even better, learnt all the differences there were to know between sex with a woman and sex with a man, discovered all the things Hiroto loved in bed and how to best please his newfound lover. It was two of the most exciting and pleasurable weeks in Tora’s life.
“You so owe me a massage at lunch,” Hiroto whined as he tried to discretely rub his lower back while they entered the studio building.
Tora laughed and had to restrain himself from touching the younger. “You said you wanted it rough last night,” he murmured, an amused tone to his voice as he tried to not draw attention to them. They’d yet to tell their other band mates they were seeing each other, worried what especially Shou would have to say about it. Alice Nine might’ve survived the breakup of Shou and Hiroto, but there was no guarantee the band would come through the information Hiroto had moved on to another member within the band.
The younger guitarist didn’t reply, merely grinned stupidly as they entered the studio room and greeted the other members. Practice flowed flawlessly, all of them doing a good job and actually getting a lot of work and planning done. Nao seemed beyond pleased as he called an end to the day, packed up his drum sticks and ran off in the direction of Starbucks, Saga strolling out close behind him. Hiroto and Tora barely recognised Shou lingering behind with them as they packed up their guitars, laughing at something and discussing where would be a good place to go get dinner since neither felt like cooking tonight.
“Hiroto?” the vocalist finally asked softly, his clean voice cutting through the conversation and gaining him their full attention.
“Yes?”
Tora could tell Hiroto was nervous by the way he licked his lips before biting down on the lower one, and he had no doubt Shou noticed it too. The two of them, Shou and Hiroto, had dated a lot longer than he and Hiroto had, and as much as Tora would like to state otherwise he was fairly certain Shou still knew Hiroto better on a personal level than he did.
Shou who seemed to hesitate slightly, large eyes darting between the two guitarists in a manner which also spoke of nervousness. “How have you...been...lately?” he asked shakily, the confidence with which he normally spoke suddenly vapourised.
“Not bad,” Hiroto replied honestly and glanced towards Tora, mentally beating himself up the moment he realised where his eyes had strayed.
“That’s good,” Shou said slowly, slight frown on his face as he once more looked between the two guitarists. “I mean...I’m glad you haven’t been...”
He was staggering and it made Hiroto uncomfortable as well. “No, no, I haven’t,” he said quickly, not sure what it was he hadn’t, merely hoping to make Shou shut up or at least stop staggering, it truly was unnerving.
The singer singed and closed his eyes briefly. “What I’m trying to say is...” Opening them again he looked straight at Tora. “Do you mind giving us some privacy?” her asked, voice more malignant than he’d intended.
“As a matter of fact I do,” Tora replied and took a step closer to Hiroto, pretty much confirming what Shou was already suspecting. Hiroto sighed and bit his lip harder, closed his eyes for a moment as if he could make all of it disappear by not looking at it.
“Please Tora.” His voice was barely above a whisper and he couldn’t look at the taller, didn’t want to see the hurt expression he knew was there. He was sending Tora away, asking him to step back, walk away, and he knew it hurt the possessive man who had done nothing but looked out for him during the past weeks. “I need to talk to Shou.”
Tora swallowed hard, tried to get rid of the bitter acrid taste in his mouth. “Fine,” he said, voice hard and cold, a sign on fear but he wasn’t sure Hiroto knew to interpret it right just yet. He grabbed his guitar case and walked out, not looking back, and Hiroto flinched as the door slammed shut.
- - -
He’d smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes by the time someone knocked on his door. At first Tora thought to ignore it, but he had a feeling he knew who it was and it was not someone he could ignore. His defenses were still raised high, body language hostile and cold, as he jerked the door open and leaned against the door frame, cigarette still between his lips, and crossed his arms over his chest.
“What?”
Hiroto looked nervous, felt even more so, as he looked up at the older. “Don’t be angry with me,” he begged. “I needed to talk to Shou, needed to tell him, and I thought he deserved me telling him alone.”
Tora felt something stir inside him, a flicker of hope and his defences cracking slightly against his will. “Tell him what?” he asked, voice a nuance warmer than before.
Huge brown eyes met his steady, nervousness and hope and warmth mixing to a plead for understanding. “That you’re my lover now, and that I’m staying with you.”
The cigarette burned a hole in the doormat but Tora ignored it, didn’t even notice it’d fallen from his lips as he stepped forward to pull Hiroto into his arms, into a hug almost too tight for comfort that was just what they both needed.
“I thought,” he mumbled into the sweet smelling hair he’d grown so fond of. “I thought you’d go back to him.”
Hiroto shook his head violently and looked up at him. “No, I want to stay right here. You took care of me when I was at my worst, you let me rant and cry, even bitch like a girl at times.” He giggled at some random memory. “And you made me feel happy again, safe and cared for in a way I never felt with Shou. If you let me, I want to stay with you.”
“You idiot,” Tora said softly, lopsided grin brightening his face as he carefully combed his fingers through Hiroto’s hair. “Haven’t you realised I’m falling in love with you?”
The younger flushed slightly, bright, bright smile decorating his face as well at the words. Standing on his tip toes he pulled the other down for a kiss, sweet and comforting and almost bubbling over with care and budding love. He felt warm and happy and as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Tora wanted him to stay, said he was falling in love with him even, and though Shou had seemed genuinely sad to let go of him, the vocalist had promised not to cause a fuss over it, meaning Alice Nine was not in any danger either.
“You’re grinning so bad I can barely kiss you,” Tora teased and pulled him into the apartment, hastily picking up the cigarette butt and tossed it out onto the cement floor in the stairwell.
“I’m happy!” Hiroto burst out and laughed at his own emotions. Shedding his jacket and toeing off his shoes he walked into the apartment and into the kitchen, sticking his head into the fridge to see if there was any juice. “You don’t mind if I spend the night, right?”
Tora wrapped his arms around the slender waist, choking back a giggle as Hiroto yelped in surprise. “I don’t think I ever want you to leave,” he said softly.
Hiroto glanced over his shoulder and smirked. “Mind if we wait a little with moving in together?”
There was nothing but humour in his voice and Tora grinned, stealing a quick kiss before he handed him the juice and let go. “Well alright, but you have to make it up to me.”
Brown eyes sparked mischievously and the juice was left on the counter as Hiroto pushed him backwards into the bedroom.