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MySpace From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Myspace
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Typical Myspace profile. Notice: Tildes in name, Internet disease pic, annoying punk music in background, horizontal scroll bar, shit colors, and the liberal use of altcaps.
Serving as a hybrid of Friendster and Livejournal, Myspace provides attention whores across the internets with twice the amount of tasteless self-promotion. It also functions as a "meat market" for pedophiles to search for 16 year old girls and camwhores who take it in the ass. As a program, it's a lethargically coded piece of shit.
[edit] Similarities to Friendster
Provides the benefits of adding friends in a desperate ploy to seem popular. It also provides camwhores with an amount of disk space to upload photos that they have taken of themselves in the bathroom mirror with their digital camera. This serves as a shrine to their own alleged hottness.
Users can list general interests on their profile, such as their favorite music, movies, television, and books - "books" meaning "the last thing that his/her English professor had him/her read in 10th grade World Lit."; "movies" meaning whatever recent low-grade forgettable Ashton Kutcher vehicles spring to mind. User interests tend to oscillate "music" on a daily basis, depending heavily on which band is currently getting the most airtime on MTV.
Myspace also provides a convenient bulletin feature similar to Friendster, which allows users to post bulletins about local events and/or big news. Most Myspace users utilize the bulletin area to inform their friends that they have posted new pics. Other typical bulletins include memes, pleads for new profile comments, irritating chain letters, and emo sentiments intended for one individual that the poster wants everyone to see.
[edit] Similarities to Livejournal
typical myspace user pictures
Offers a personal blog, allowing users to rate their popularity by the number of comments that are received. The blog feature on Myspace is often given the backseat to the features which require less thought, making the attempt to appear deep, even more shallow.
Myspace also allows users to create communities in order to unite those with similar interests. Another sad excuse to indulge one's narcissism and/or alleviate one's low self-esteem.
[edit] Marketing on Myspace
Myspace is riddled with marketing ads, in order to supply some amount of substance between the clutter of user icons.
Lesser-known bands are allowed to create special music profiles on Myspace for publicity. These music profiles will immediately send friend requests to any user who has listed a relative genre or band. Users can visit the band's profile to enjoy a sample of their music (see also: shit.)
Special profiles are also created for popular television shows and films. This feature is a last resort to increase a user's friend count without fear of rejection.
[edit] Myspace Goddamn Annoyances
Unlike Friendster, LiveJournal, or anywhere else, myspace lets users define all aspects of their profile page. Most pages include every web annoyance, ever, and break every guideline of web design, ever. Pages with 300k bitmap backgrounds that load activex controls to play 50mb music videos, bouncing and flashing marquees and it's all on the same page. Myspace is the only social networking site that lets users install malware on visiting machines just by viewing a profile.
[edit] List of Common Annoyances
[edit] List of Common Goddamn Bulletin Annoyances
Myspace.tom
[edit] Myspace mail order brides
If you're FnF, forty and fat, make a myspace profile that says you make six digits. The filipina maids that aren't getting rich working for whitey in Hong Kong will find you.
HAY GUYZ WANNA B FRIENDZ WIT ME SEXXXXY
[edit] Myspace and the Law
Tom is a fucking tool for friending everyone on the internet
[edit] Myspace Founder
Myspace was founded by Tom, a kind of gay version of Brad. The two share many similarities, one of which is that they both sold out (see below).
[edit] Myspace Sellout
On 23:54, 19 Jul 2005 (UTC), Rupert Murdoch bought Myspace for 580 million dollars (http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D8BDRI4O0.htm?campaign_id=apn_tech_down&chan=tc). Yes. $580 million. Why a cesspool of mallcore faggotry is worth anywhere near that much remains a mystery. Meanwhile, the fine folks at liberal have collectively shit themselves. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/liberal/2576910.html)
[edit] What's a Myspace Whore?
Pretty funny you ask, its one who uses Myspace more than normally needed. (The normal, non-homosexual amount of time you should spend on myspace is 5 seconds or less. Spending more time than that will make you homosexual.) These people have dedicated their lives to Myspace, which is a pretty emo thing to do. Show some lulz at them for wasting their life. :)
The Whore's Profile A myspace Whore's profile will consist of every goddamned annoyance known to any Myspace user. Right away your computer should freeze. If you ever do happen to survive the load, notice how many "friends" they have befriended on Myspace. You should already know that .003% of the users on their friend list have met the whore in person. The profile will be laden with shameless self-promotion, making you hate this person more. Also notice the pictures this user has taken of him/herself. It usually contains that infamous bathroom emo faggotness of taking a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Most likely this person is emo. There is never an emo who doesn't use Myspace.
Holy shit, why do they use this damned site so much?? Because it is most likely they are teh ghey and love teh cock. They lack lulz, and use this to make friends in real life. Online, he/she may think they are the Myspace Queen because of all the comments and fake friends they get. Just Queen, there is never a Myspace King.
What happens when you befriend these imps? Get them off your friends list IMMEDIATELY. Sooner or later (or once you accept the friend request) they will make you kiss the bulletin system bye bye with their constant sex pleads for comments. Myspace whores need comments to live and breathe, so as said above, just don't comment. Or, for kicks and giggles, you can take sexual plesure into sending 100's of racist hateful messages toward them. You'll piss yourself in glee if this user enables HTML in their comments. You can give them the 50 hitler post (nah, make it more than fifty, and make sure them pics of Hitler are bigger than your computer screen's resolution.) They have opened their legs for pure pwnage if they enabled HTML in their comments. Find any rape comment you can google, or use these awesome Macromedia Flash profile domination codes. (http://www.freewebs.com/mjolnir03/PWNER%20Code%20List%204.0.txt)
source:
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Myspace
Myspace
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Typical Myspace profile. Notice: Tildes in name, Internet disease pic, annoying punk music in background, horizontal scroll bar, shit colors, and the liberal use of altcaps.
Serving as a hybrid of Friendster and Livejournal, Myspace provides attention whores across the internets with twice the amount of tasteless self-promotion. It also functions as a "meat market" for pedophiles to search for 16 year old girls and camwhores who take it in the ass. As a program, it's a lethargically coded piece of shit.
[edit] Similarities to Friendster
Provides the benefits of adding friends in a desperate ploy to seem popular. It also provides camwhores with an amount of disk space to upload photos that they have taken of themselves in the bathroom mirror with their digital camera. This serves as a shrine to their own alleged hottness.
Users can list general interests on their profile, such as their favorite music, movies, television, and books - "books" meaning "the last thing that his/her English professor had him/her read in 10th grade World Lit."; "movies" meaning whatever recent low-grade forgettable Ashton Kutcher vehicles spring to mind. User interests tend to oscillate "music" on a daily basis, depending heavily on which band is currently getting the most airtime on MTV.
Myspace also provides a convenient bulletin feature similar to Friendster, which allows users to post bulletins about local events and/or big news. Most Myspace users utilize the bulletin area to inform their friends that they have posted new pics. Other typical bulletins include memes, pleads for new profile comments, irritating chain letters, and emo sentiments intended for one individual that the poster wants everyone to see.
[edit] Similarities to Livejournal
typical myspace user pictures
Offers a personal blog, allowing users to rate their popularity by the number of comments that are received. The blog feature on Myspace is often given the backseat to the features which require less thought, making the attempt to appear deep, even more shallow.
Myspace also allows users to create communities in order to unite those with similar interests. Another sad excuse to indulge one's narcissism and/or alleviate one's low self-esteem.
[edit] Marketing on Myspace
Myspace is riddled with marketing ads, in order to supply some amount of substance between the clutter of user icons.
Lesser-known bands are allowed to create special music profiles on Myspace for publicity. These music profiles will immediately send friend requests to any user who has listed a relative genre or band. Users can visit the band's profile to enjoy a sample of their music (see also: shit.)
Special profiles are also created for popular television shows and films. This feature is a last resort to increase a user's friend count without fear of rejection.
[edit] Myspace Goddamn Annoyances
Unlike Friendster, LiveJournal, or anywhere else, myspace lets users define all aspects of their profile page. Most pages include every web annoyance, ever, and break every guideline of web design, ever. Pages with 300k bitmap backgrounds that load activex controls to play 50mb music videos, bouncing and flashing marquees and it's all on the same page. Myspace is the only social networking site that lets users install malware on visiting machines just by viewing a profile.
[edit] List of Common Annoyances
- One or more video clips that never work properly and have to spend 5 minutes disabling.
- People who send friends request without ever contacting the person beforehand.
- People who put pictures of models in their user picture.
- Fanatical Left Wing Idiots, it's nearly as bad as the Fanatical Right Wing Idiots. Trading in one blind belief for another doesn't work, you have to think about things people!
- People who have a horrible color scheme that makes their text impossible to read, and you'll have to highlight everything in order for it read it easier. But then you'll remember that its all shit nobody cares about.
- Viewing myspace profiles on goddamned dial-up, which is quite a feat. Its pretty much damned-near impossible to load profiles of whores.
[edit] List of Common Goddamn Bulletin Annoyances
Myspace.tom
- Stupid myspace whores who relentlessly beg for comments in the bulletins and will stop at nothing to have people comment. I swear, they treat these comments as if they were drugs. They require frequent comments to keep them happy and alive (so just don't comment)
- When myspace whores will post bulletins begging you to "add" and "whore" (which means comment) their homosexual emo faggot "friends".
- Chain letters which can contain: Something about not reposting whatever was shitted on the bulletin page, you'll lose your penis or something. Stories of a penis-less limbless child who was abused in life, and they expect you to repost it for sympathy, not for lulz. Wishing for penises. Wishing for ass. Wishing. Surveys that are completely filled out to give a myspace user time to pass, and more info for the pedophile to learn about them. And the rest I missed is pretty much Shit no one cares about.
- Emo poems written by those goddamned emos.
- "OMG new pictures please comment i'll surly comment back!" They'll pose in anyway you please just for comments, trust me. Comments are like crack to myspacers.
- Stupid list things that are updated one at a time by each myspace user who reposts this shit, like to add on about who had teh cock in their bums lately.
[edit] Myspace mail order brides
If you're FnF, forty and fat, make a myspace profile that says you make six digits. The filipina maids that aren't getting rich working for whitey in Hong Kong will find you.
HAY GUYZ WANNA B FRIENDZ WIT ME SEXXXXY
[edit] Myspace and the Law
- Myspace first site to aid in arrest of spim (http://news.com.com/U.S.+makes+first+arrest+for+spim/2100-7355_3-5584574.html). Spim is spam sent via instant message. A teenager sent millions of messages to myspace accounts advertising mortgages and other services. Then he attempted to blackmail Tom Anderson into an exclusive marketing deal, threatening that he would make his spamming techniques public. Myspace contacted police and lured the spimmer to cops under the pretenses of a business meeting with Tom. This is probably the closest to IRL law that MySpace Internet lawyers have ever gotten.
Tom is a fucking tool for friending everyone on the internet
[edit] Myspace Founder
Myspace was founded by Tom, a kind of gay version of Brad. The two share many similarities, one of which is that they both sold out (see below).
[edit] Myspace Sellout
On 23:54, 19 Jul 2005 (UTC), Rupert Murdoch bought Myspace for 580 million dollars (http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D8BDRI4O0.htm?campaign_id=apn_tech_down&chan=tc). Yes. $580 million. Why a cesspool of mallcore faggotry is worth anywhere near that much remains a mystery. Meanwhile, the fine folks at liberal have collectively shit themselves. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/liberal/2576910.html)
[edit] What's a Myspace Whore?
Pretty funny you ask, its one who uses Myspace more than normally needed. (The normal, non-homosexual amount of time you should spend on myspace is 5 seconds or less. Spending more time than that will make you homosexual.) These people have dedicated their lives to Myspace, which is a pretty emo thing to do. Show some lulz at them for wasting their life. :)
The Whore's Profile A myspace Whore's profile will consist of every goddamned annoyance known to any Myspace user. Right away your computer should freeze. If you ever do happen to survive the load, notice how many "friends" they have befriended on Myspace. You should already know that .003% of the users on their friend list have met the whore in person. The profile will be laden with shameless self-promotion, making you hate this person more. Also notice the pictures this user has taken of him/herself. It usually contains that infamous bathroom emo faggotness of taking a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Most likely this person is emo. There is never an emo who doesn't use Myspace.
Holy shit, why do they use this damned site so much?? Because it is most likely they are teh ghey and love teh cock. They lack lulz, and use this to make friends in real life. Online, he/she may think they are the Myspace Queen because of all the comments and fake friends they get. Just Queen, there is never a Myspace King.
What happens when you befriend these imps? Get them off your friends list IMMEDIATELY. Sooner or later (or once you accept the friend request) they will make you kiss the bulletin system bye bye with their constant sex pleads for comments. Myspace whores need comments to live and breathe, so as said above, just don't comment. Or, for kicks and giggles, you can take sexual plesure into sending 100's of racist hateful messages toward them. You'll piss yourself in glee if this user enables HTML in their comments. You can give them the 50 hitler post (nah, make it more than fifty, and make sure them pics of Hitler are bigger than your computer screen's resolution.) They have opened their legs for pure pwnage if they enabled HTML in their comments. Find any rape comment you can google, or use these awesome Macromedia Flash profile domination codes. (http://www.freewebs.com/mjolnir03/PWNER%20Code%20List%204.0.txt)
source:
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Myspace