(no subject)
Priority A: What the heck happened to my LJ?
I forgot how much it hurt to fall in love. And now to understand that even if he shared my feelings, it could never be because I know he deserves better. What if there really were just people that were meant to be lonely? Maybe I'm just not the type of person someone can love, and maybe someday I'll be alright with that. For now, I just want him to be happy...even if that means he has to be with somebody else. Even if it means that I have to cry for the first time in at least a year. This is the first time since...Chris Hoover in sixth grade through tenth that I've felt my heart tear directly in two.
But this time it hurts so much worse, because he's everything that I've always wanted. Yes, maybe it could happen, but how can I let it when I know he's too good, WAY TOO GOOD. I'm torn and bleeding, and after being numb for so long...I realize that being alive simply hurts too much to understand.