I dont know anymore!!!
Lately I’ve just been here bored.. doing nothing... I’ve lost 5 pounds... don't know how... don't know why... just have... my mom's starting to get all worried about me leaving... it sux knowing that the one place you've called your home your whole entire life... wont really be your home anymore... what also sucks is that I just found out that my brother wants to go up there earlier then planed... man I fucking earned 345$ for fucking nothing... I asked him if we could go later... he said no because he wants to get the drive over and done with... which is bullshit... he just wants to see his friends... which is alright with me... but still... I can't fucking see Carla... I don’t know why but for some reason... I feel... misplaced... I hate feeling like this... I haven't felt this way in such a long time that... I don’t know what too fucking do anymore... I can't eat... I can't sleep... I can't fucking smoke a cig anymore... I’ve loosed the motivation in everything... I just need... I just... shit I don’t even know what the fuck I need............................
EDIT:
i can sit here and bitch about how fucked up i'm feeling right now... tell you that sometimes... i rather not wake up in the morning... tell you that everytime i look in the mirror... disapointment over shadows my face... or i could say that i've tried cutting myself in the atempts to kill myself and the scars are nothing more then a attention getter... but i'm not going to do that... NO... i'm through with bitching... i'm through with crying out for help... i'm sick and i'm fucking tired of people over looking me... i've cried out for help for over 4 years... and look at where its gotten me... FUCKING NO WHERE... i dont need your sympathy.............................................................................
EDIT:
i can sit here and bitch about how fucked up i'm feeling right now... tell you that sometimes... i rather not wake up in the morning... tell you that everytime i look in the mirror... disapointment over shadows my face... or i could say that i've tried cutting myself in the atempts to kill myself and the scars are nothing more then a attention getter... but i'm not going to do that... NO... i'm through with bitching... i'm through with crying out for help... i'm sick and i'm fucking tired of people over looking me... i've cried out for help for over 4 years... and look at where its gotten me... FUCKING NO WHERE... i dont need your sympathy.............................................................................