I Just Do - Judd-Jones 1/4
Title: I Just Do
Author: Me, Jess.
Rating: 17+
Part: 1/4
Pairings: Judd-Jones/Junes.
Summary: the words have all been said; the feelings old but its new to me I guess. And I'm scared to death..
Word count: 2,464.
Disclaimer: This isn't true, and I do not own McFly, heh.
Danny shifted uncomfortably in the drivers’ seat, his knuckles turning white from the pressure on the steering wheel making his freckles stand out a little more than they usually would. Danny shifted again - for some absurd reason Harry’s hand on his thigh wasn’t helping, and he was finding it difficult to push the oxygen in and out of his lungs at an even pace.
“You’ll be fine,” Harry cooed, his hand sympathetically squeezing Danny’s thigh a little tighter - which definitely wasn’t helping.
Danny gulped down the flush of fear intoxicating his body as he tried to smile - only just managing to look like a terrified preschooler on the way to their first day of school.
“Come on, say it, you’ll be fine,” Harry laughed - Danny couldn’t understand at all why he found this so amusing, because for fucks sake, this wasn’t amusing.
“I will not be fine,” Danny hissed; his shoulders were tensing underneath the sudden realization that he was about five seconds from the turnoff to Harry’s parents’ street. Well fuck.
“God Danny, my parents aren’t monsters,” Harry mumbled trying his hardest to sound modest and downright offended - but that grin was still stretched across his calm face, his surprisingly calm face - and that was telling Danny otherwise.
“How the hell are you so calm about this,” Danny mumbled - he didn’t have to take his eyes from the road to know Harry was miming his words back at him in his usual pretentious way. Danny’s foot slammed on the brakes a little too hard, jolting the car slightly. He muttered a few curses under his breath, still not impressed by Harry’s chuckles echoing through his void mind.
Danny tried an annoyed sigh, realizing it was more or less coming out as a terrified whimper, as he pulled into the small perfectly lit street. His didn’t care to admit it to his pretentious boyfriend, but his chest was now heaving with anticipation and - well, more than anything; a dreading fear.
“Just remember - I’m not the one meeting the in-laws,” Harry chuckled, as the car halted out the front of a perfectly lit, seamless house.
“Hilarious,” Danny mumbled through clenched teeth.
The garden was manicured, the paths were washed spotless and the hedge surrounding the small white gate looked like the start of a fairytale.
“Fuck - they’re going to hate me,” Danny mumbled under his breath, his fingers reaching up to comb through his unruly brunette curls; he was already feeling out of place, and he wasn’t even past the gate yet.
Harry chuckled again as he leaned forward, his lips effortlessly finding Danny’s, his hand snaking up his side as Danny’s hand flicked the key in the ignition off, spinning slightly in the seat to face towards Harry - his hands effortlessly reaching up to cup his clean shaven cheeks, he didn’t like Harry clean shaven - he liked his Harry looking just a little rough around the edges.
Harry’s hand slid off Danny’s side to nip the door-handle, the door creaking open all whilst their lips were still joined - and Danny could feel Harry’s smirk, and he didn’t like it.
Danny pulled apart, his mouth gawking open as he noticed Harry’s smirk deepening into chuckles as he nodded towards the already opened door before elegantly stepping out of his own.
The air was cold and Danny felt his whole body convulse with what he would like to pass off as the weather - although more than likely it was the sudden rush of dreaded fear surging through his body.
“You’re such a girl,” Harry chuckled.
Danny could feel his own nervous expression plastered across his face, but he couldn’t stop the fact that it was there. He mumbled something without noticing what it was as his hands twitched into dreaded balled fists as he shoved them deeply into his pockets, because right now, wasn’t the right time for a panic attack.
Danny shut his eyes, he clenched them until he couldn’t see the house anymore, then maybe he wasn’t there at all, maybe he’d teleported with some power he never knew he’d had; or maybe he’d watched Harry Potter one too many times.
Harry stalked across the front of the car, his lips pecking against Danny’s as he edged closer - hoping that feeling their chests pressed together would somehow calm Danny.
Harry let out a snorted grunt of a laugh as he let his hands wind up Danny’s body to fix his collar.
“You’ll be great,” Harry mumbled, pecking his lips against Danny’s cheek quickly before yanking Danny’s hand out of his pocket - lacing his fingers between his boyfriends as he dragged him towards the front door.
The gate didn’t squeak, there wasn’t a speck of dirt on the path, and even the door looked like it had been polished - and Danny could feel his heart beating imperfectly, there was no way in hell he would fit in here.
As the door cleanly swept open; Danny forgot who he was - he couldn’t remember if he was meant to shake Harry’s mother’s hand, kiss her hand, her cheek, hug her or scream profanities. He could feel his heart beating, scratch that, bounding between his ribs and for a moment he actually thought it was going to tear through the tissue of freckled flesh of his torso. The last thing he wanted was for Harry’s family to have to clean the bloody organ off their own front doorstep.
Danny didn’t notice at the time; but his fingers were gripping so tightly onto Harry’s that Harry was muttering under his breath at Danny. He was still muttering as they walked into the small entrance of their largely structured house.
“Danny?” Harry hissed under his breath; and that was the moment Danny managed to snap from his trance, his final attempt at reality as his eyes flickered up towards Harry’s again.
Danny blinked overdramatically, mockingly long, his shoulders haphazardly shrugging - but his heart was still screaming at him, and he could feel his blood swelling through his body at a pace even he considered too fast.
“Are you -” Harry mumbled - his parents still weren’t in the room, but a reasonably short girl stood before them, her hands extended to take their coats and a sympathetic smile plastered across her face as she took a step closer towards Danny. “Are you okay?” Harry managed to finish.
“I’ve never met the parents before -” Danny muttered, his eyes cringing and his face contorting into a pained look “- like, ever,”
“What, are you kidding me?” Harry mumbled, fighting the urge to chuckle indecently at his boyfriend - he’d let go of Danny’s hand by now, pulling his jacket off and handing it to the lady waiting patiently, her dark hair pulled into a bun and her eyes glistening a desirable jade green as she stared up unwearyingly at Danny.
Danny never seemed to hide the fact of his, undoubtedly hesitation towards commitment - and whether Harry knew it or not, he was really the longest running relationship Danny had had in his twenty four years of existence. And, although Danny had a tough time at the start - just over a year wasn’t half bad. But the matter with the parents wasn’t something Danny could put off anymore, his excuses had dried up - and here he is.
“Well,” Danny mumbled, his hands self-consciously fingering through his hair and his face tugged into an almost forced smile.
“Oh that’s just adorable,” Harry spoke another of his famous overdramatic snide remarks, before he leant forward to plant a wet kiss on the end of Danny’s nose.
“Just - shuddup, okay?” Danny muttered, blushing slightly as he tentatively handed his jacket to the lady who was still waiting patiently. “Thanks,” he mumbled as she took it from his hands.
“If it means anything, I think you’ll do great,” she mumbled, one of her hands reaching out to pat him on the side of his arm before turning and walking towards a large oak door, “your parents are already in the dining room, Harry,”
Harry nodded before taking Danny’s hand and leading him towards another door larger than Danny would have thought necessary.
“Hey, thanks,” Danny mumbled over his shoulder, spinning to face the lady who was standing with their coats - waiting for them to enter wherever Harry was leading them.
“Good luck,” she cheered, her words echoing through Danny’s ears before Harry pulled him through another door, into the biggest dining room he’d ever seen - tall cabinets lining the walls and a table long enough to fit an army (or relatively close to that), which was lain out in perfect rows of drool-worthy food.
Danny didn’t have a chance to gasp in awe before a stout lady presented herself in front of Danny, her grin was wide and her cerulean blue eyes lit up as she stared up at Danny - being only just up to his shoulder.
“Hey, er…” hesitation “I’m Danny,” he finally managed - praying his smile didn’t look as forced and terrified as he felt.
*****
Danny near ran through their apartment - the boxes still lining their walls from Harry’s recent move - before he collapsed onto the couch, his feet automatically moving up to the arm of the couch as he lay one of his arms over his face.
His chest heaved a sigh of relief - because apparently meeting the parents was exactly the same as ripping off bandaids, it’s better to get them over and done with quick and painful - rather than slow and excruciating.
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Harry exclaimed, his jacket already thrown astray across the kitchen table as he neared closer to Danny.
“Easy for you to say - you’re not the one who got given evils by your father for three hours straight.” Danny retorted; he leant his head backwards over the arm of the couch to search the room for his Harry; Harry was standing in the small gap between the kitchen and the lounge-room with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk over his lips.
“True, but seriously, you were great,” Harry grinned; his fingers were nervously playing with the bottom of his t-shirt. There was something so intimidating about this whole situation - they were living together. They were playing happy housewives, and it scared Danny half to death, but. Somehow at the same time, it was enthralling.
Danny pouted his lips slightly, his head still bent upside down from the couches arm before he opened his arms slightly; motioning for Harry to join him.
Harry chuckled as he walked across the carpeted floors, slowly lowering himself on top of Danny, burying his head in the crevices between Danny’s neck and his shoulder. Danny chuckled throatily as he let his hands wander to Harry’s lower back, carelessly resting them under his shirt against the warm tan flesh.
Harry mumbled something - but Danny wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy letting one of his hands leave Harry’s back to start haphazardly playing with his darkened hair. Harry grunted something now, knowing perfectly well that Danny wasn’t paying any attention to him - but even that didn’t register in Danny’s mind.
Danny leant forward to join their lips - nothing hasty, just reassurance that he was still there, that although he wasn’t listening to the words, he was still listening to him.
Then Danny felt it - a burning that swelled through his body and those ruthless three words that lolled in the back of his throat from time to time. Sure, he’d said them before - when he was apologizing, when he was running late for something, and Harry was too far for him to kiss, so the words were all he had left to show his undying affection.
But there was something about them being this close - something about him that made him want to scream it from the rooftops, make his want to tattoo it all across his body and reassure strangers that he was sincere. At the same time - it was tugging him backwards; it was pulling him away from Harry because he shouldn’t be getting this attached to him.
One and a bit years, and he’d still managed to avoid saying the three words that always got stuck at the back of his throat - and right now, he was going to do it. He was going to dive into the deep end.
Danny opened his mouth.
“I love you,”
Danny blinked, his eyebrows fusing together for a moment - his thoughts running at a kilometer a second as he tried to piece it together, because he didn’t just say that.
“Oh.”
He tried, he really fucking tried - but the words were tangled, they were locked and his jaw was refusing to open to let them escape.
Danny was staring up into Harry’s oh-so-perfect cerulean eyes, the perfect moment that he was ruining was reflecting through the awkward pause. Harry’s eyebrows fused together and a low grunt seeped from the back of his throat as his body stiffened against Danny’s.
He mumbled something under his breath before he suddenly pushed himself off Danny, his feet hitting the carpet elegantly as he paced over towards the kitchen, no other words.
Danny swore loud enough for Harry to hear, and he just wished Harry understood, god knows, he wanted him to fucking understand - and so he followed him. His feet slamming against the floor as his heavy steps followed Harry through to the kitchen.
Harry didn’t turn around before speaking “I - I thought,” he stuttered, it was rare that he seemed so vulnerable and it tore Danny up, eating him up from the inside-out and it was agony.
“I” Danny hesitated. His hands finding a chair and his knuckles were turning white again, his eyes clenching shut and his breathing irregular “I do,” Danny muttered, his face contorting.
“Then say it,” Harry mumbled - anger lacing his tone, he hesitated, his eyes lingering on Danny before he spun on his heels to grab a mug slamming it down beside the switched kettle, his hands finding the edge of the counter as his shoulders slumped.
“Harry,” Danny mumbled, one of his hands reached up to fist through his hair - his hand was clenched so tightly - because he was angry. So fucking angry - at himself, more than anything. Because this was his fault, not Harry’s.
“Fucks sake, don’t block me out now, Danny, we’re too far into this for you to chicken out,” Harry hissed, his voice was sloping with hurt, with despair.
Danny paused - his hesitation hanging over the whole room as Harry’s eyes bore into his own, just waiting. And then the tiny sparkle left in Harry’s eye was gone and he was storming past Danny to go to the bedroom, his mug still empty and the kettle just beginning to boil.
Author: Me, Jess.
Rating: 17+
Part: 1/4
Pairings: Judd-Jones/Junes.
Summary: the words have all been said; the feelings old but its new to me I guess. And I'm scared to death..
Word count: 2,464.
Disclaimer: This isn't true, and I do not own McFly, heh.
Danny shifted uncomfortably in the drivers’ seat, his knuckles turning white from the pressure on the steering wheel making his freckles stand out a little more than they usually would. Danny shifted again - for some absurd reason Harry’s hand on his thigh wasn’t helping, and he was finding it difficult to push the oxygen in and out of his lungs at an even pace.
“You’ll be fine,” Harry cooed, his hand sympathetically squeezing Danny’s thigh a little tighter - which definitely wasn’t helping.
Danny gulped down the flush of fear intoxicating his body as he tried to smile - only just managing to look like a terrified preschooler on the way to their first day of school.
“Come on, say it, you’ll be fine,” Harry laughed - Danny couldn’t understand at all why he found this so amusing, because for fucks sake, this wasn’t amusing.
“I will not be fine,” Danny hissed; his shoulders were tensing underneath the sudden realization that he was about five seconds from the turnoff to Harry’s parents’ street. Well fuck.
“God Danny, my parents aren’t monsters,” Harry mumbled trying his hardest to sound modest and downright offended - but that grin was still stretched across his calm face, his surprisingly calm face - and that was telling Danny otherwise.
“How the hell are you so calm about this,” Danny mumbled - he didn’t have to take his eyes from the road to know Harry was miming his words back at him in his usual pretentious way. Danny’s foot slammed on the brakes a little too hard, jolting the car slightly. He muttered a few curses under his breath, still not impressed by Harry’s chuckles echoing through his void mind.
Danny tried an annoyed sigh, realizing it was more or less coming out as a terrified whimper, as he pulled into the small perfectly lit street. His didn’t care to admit it to his pretentious boyfriend, but his chest was now heaving with anticipation and - well, more than anything; a dreading fear.
“Just remember - I’m not the one meeting the in-laws,” Harry chuckled, as the car halted out the front of a perfectly lit, seamless house.
“Hilarious,” Danny mumbled through clenched teeth.
The garden was manicured, the paths were washed spotless and the hedge surrounding the small white gate looked like the start of a fairytale.
“Fuck - they’re going to hate me,” Danny mumbled under his breath, his fingers reaching up to comb through his unruly brunette curls; he was already feeling out of place, and he wasn’t even past the gate yet.
Harry chuckled again as he leaned forward, his lips effortlessly finding Danny’s, his hand snaking up his side as Danny’s hand flicked the key in the ignition off, spinning slightly in the seat to face towards Harry - his hands effortlessly reaching up to cup his clean shaven cheeks, he didn’t like Harry clean shaven - he liked his Harry looking just a little rough around the edges.
Harry’s hand slid off Danny’s side to nip the door-handle, the door creaking open all whilst their lips were still joined - and Danny could feel Harry’s smirk, and he didn’t like it.
Danny pulled apart, his mouth gawking open as he noticed Harry’s smirk deepening into chuckles as he nodded towards the already opened door before elegantly stepping out of his own.
The air was cold and Danny felt his whole body convulse with what he would like to pass off as the weather - although more than likely it was the sudden rush of dreaded fear surging through his body.
“You’re such a girl,” Harry chuckled.
Danny could feel his own nervous expression plastered across his face, but he couldn’t stop the fact that it was there. He mumbled something without noticing what it was as his hands twitched into dreaded balled fists as he shoved them deeply into his pockets, because right now, wasn’t the right time for a panic attack.
Danny shut his eyes, he clenched them until he couldn’t see the house anymore, then maybe he wasn’t there at all, maybe he’d teleported with some power he never knew he’d had; or maybe he’d watched Harry Potter one too many times.
Harry stalked across the front of the car, his lips pecking against Danny’s as he edged closer - hoping that feeling their chests pressed together would somehow calm Danny.
Harry let out a snorted grunt of a laugh as he let his hands wind up Danny’s body to fix his collar.
“You’ll be great,” Harry mumbled, pecking his lips against Danny’s cheek quickly before yanking Danny’s hand out of his pocket - lacing his fingers between his boyfriends as he dragged him towards the front door.
The gate didn’t squeak, there wasn’t a speck of dirt on the path, and even the door looked like it had been polished - and Danny could feel his heart beating imperfectly, there was no way in hell he would fit in here.
As the door cleanly swept open; Danny forgot who he was - he couldn’t remember if he was meant to shake Harry’s mother’s hand, kiss her hand, her cheek, hug her or scream profanities. He could feel his heart beating, scratch that, bounding between his ribs and for a moment he actually thought it was going to tear through the tissue of freckled flesh of his torso. The last thing he wanted was for Harry’s family to have to clean the bloody organ off their own front doorstep.
Danny didn’t notice at the time; but his fingers were gripping so tightly onto Harry’s that Harry was muttering under his breath at Danny. He was still muttering as they walked into the small entrance of their largely structured house.
“Danny?” Harry hissed under his breath; and that was the moment Danny managed to snap from his trance, his final attempt at reality as his eyes flickered up towards Harry’s again.
Danny blinked overdramatically, mockingly long, his shoulders haphazardly shrugging - but his heart was still screaming at him, and he could feel his blood swelling through his body at a pace even he considered too fast.
“Are you -” Harry mumbled - his parents still weren’t in the room, but a reasonably short girl stood before them, her hands extended to take their coats and a sympathetic smile plastered across her face as she took a step closer towards Danny. “Are you okay?” Harry managed to finish.
“I’ve never met the parents before -” Danny muttered, his eyes cringing and his face contorting into a pained look “- like, ever,”
“What, are you kidding me?” Harry mumbled, fighting the urge to chuckle indecently at his boyfriend - he’d let go of Danny’s hand by now, pulling his jacket off and handing it to the lady waiting patiently, her dark hair pulled into a bun and her eyes glistening a desirable jade green as she stared up unwearyingly at Danny.
Danny never seemed to hide the fact of his, undoubtedly hesitation towards commitment - and whether Harry knew it or not, he was really the longest running relationship Danny had had in his twenty four years of existence. And, although Danny had a tough time at the start - just over a year wasn’t half bad. But the matter with the parents wasn’t something Danny could put off anymore, his excuses had dried up - and here he is.
“Well,” Danny mumbled, his hands self-consciously fingering through his hair and his face tugged into an almost forced smile.
“Oh that’s just adorable,” Harry spoke another of his famous overdramatic snide remarks, before he leant forward to plant a wet kiss on the end of Danny’s nose.
“Just - shuddup, okay?” Danny muttered, blushing slightly as he tentatively handed his jacket to the lady who was still waiting patiently. “Thanks,” he mumbled as she took it from his hands.
“If it means anything, I think you’ll do great,” she mumbled, one of her hands reaching out to pat him on the side of his arm before turning and walking towards a large oak door, “your parents are already in the dining room, Harry,”
Harry nodded before taking Danny’s hand and leading him towards another door larger than Danny would have thought necessary.
“Hey, thanks,” Danny mumbled over his shoulder, spinning to face the lady who was standing with their coats - waiting for them to enter wherever Harry was leading them.
“Good luck,” she cheered, her words echoing through Danny’s ears before Harry pulled him through another door, into the biggest dining room he’d ever seen - tall cabinets lining the walls and a table long enough to fit an army (or relatively close to that), which was lain out in perfect rows of drool-worthy food.
Danny didn’t have a chance to gasp in awe before a stout lady presented herself in front of Danny, her grin was wide and her cerulean blue eyes lit up as she stared up at Danny - being only just up to his shoulder.
“Hey, er…” hesitation “I’m Danny,” he finally managed - praying his smile didn’t look as forced and terrified as he felt.
*****
Danny near ran through their apartment - the boxes still lining their walls from Harry’s recent move - before he collapsed onto the couch, his feet automatically moving up to the arm of the couch as he lay one of his arms over his face.
His chest heaved a sigh of relief - because apparently meeting the parents was exactly the same as ripping off bandaids, it’s better to get them over and done with quick and painful - rather than slow and excruciating.
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Harry exclaimed, his jacket already thrown astray across the kitchen table as he neared closer to Danny.
“Easy for you to say - you’re not the one who got given evils by your father for three hours straight.” Danny retorted; he leant his head backwards over the arm of the couch to search the room for his Harry; Harry was standing in the small gap between the kitchen and the lounge-room with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk over his lips.
“True, but seriously, you were great,” Harry grinned; his fingers were nervously playing with the bottom of his t-shirt. There was something so intimidating about this whole situation - they were living together. They were playing happy housewives, and it scared Danny half to death, but. Somehow at the same time, it was enthralling.
Danny pouted his lips slightly, his head still bent upside down from the couches arm before he opened his arms slightly; motioning for Harry to join him.
Harry chuckled as he walked across the carpeted floors, slowly lowering himself on top of Danny, burying his head in the crevices between Danny’s neck and his shoulder. Danny chuckled throatily as he let his hands wander to Harry’s lower back, carelessly resting them under his shirt against the warm tan flesh.
Harry mumbled something - but Danny wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy letting one of his hands leave Harry’s back to start haphazardly playing with his darkened hair. Harry grunted something now, knowing perfectly well that Danny wasn’t paying any attention to him - but even that didn’t register in Danny’s mind.
Danny leant forward to join their lips - nothing hasty, just reassurance that he was still there, that although he wasn’t listening to the words, he was still listening to him.
Then Danny felt it - a burning that swelled through his body and those ruthless three words that lolled in the back of his throat from time to time. Sure, he’d said them before - when he was apologizing, when he was running late for something, and Harry was too far for him to kiss, so the words were all he had left to show his undying affection.
But there was something about them being this close - something about him that made him want to scream it from the rooftops, make his want to tattoo it all across his body and reassure strangers that he was sincere. At the same time - it was tugging him backwards; it was pulling him away from Harry because he shouldn’t be getting this attached to him.
One and a bit years, and he’d still managed to avoid saying the three words that always got stuck at the back of his throat - and right now, he was going to do it. He was going to dive into the deep end.
Danny opened his mouth.
“I love you,”
Danny blinked, his eyebrows fusing together for a moment - his thoughts running at a kilometer a second as he tried to piece it together, because he didn’t just say that.
“Oh.”
He tried, he really fucking tried - but the words were tangled, they were locked and his jaw was refusing to open to let them escape.
Danny was staring up into Harry’s oh-so-perfect cerulean eyes, the perfect moment that he was ruining was reflecting through the awkward pause. Harry’s eyebrows fused together and a low grunt seeped from the back of his throat as his body stiffened against Danny’s.
He mumbled something under his breath before he suddenly pushed himself off Danny, his feet hitting the carpet elegantly as he paced over towards the kitchen, no other words.
Danny swore loud enough for Harry to hear, and he just wished Harry understood, god knows, he wanted him to fucking understand - and so he followed him. His feet slamming against the floor as his heavy steps followed Harry through to the kitchen.
Harry didn’t turn around before speaking “I - I thought,” he stuttered, it was rare that he seemed so vulnerable and it tore Danny up, eating him up from the inside-out and it was agony.
“I” Danny hesitated. His hands finding a chair and his knuckles were turning white again, his eyes clenching shut and his breathing irregular “I do,” Danny muttered, his face contorting.
“Then say it,” Harry mumbled - anger lacing his tone, he hesitated, his eyes lingering on Danny before he spun on his heels to grab a mug slamming it down beside the switched kettle, his hands finding the edge of the counter as his shoulders slumped.
“Harry,” Danny mumbled, one of his hands reached up to fist through his hair - his hand was clenched so tightly - because he was angry. So fucking angry - at himself, more than anything. Because this was his fault, not Harry’s.
“Fucks sake, don’t block me out now, Danny, we’re too far into this for you to chicken out,” Harry hissed, his voice was sloping with hurt, with despair.
Danny paused - his hesitation hanging over the whole room as Harry’s eyes bore into his own, just waiting. And then the tiny sparkle left in Harry’s eye was gone and he was storming past Danny to go to the bedroom, his mug still empty and the kettle just beginning to boil.