sex dreams make me uncomfortable
especially when you see them the next day
and especially when you would never consider sleeping with them, ever.
so much stress lately.
the sun gives me headaches,
then work gives me headaches,
wearing my hair up gives me headaches
thinking too much gives me headaches
it seems like there's not a whole lot these days that doesn't result in a headache. i've been feeling pretty alienated lately which is fine i guess. probably what i need. i don't feel the need to see as much of my friends as possible before i move, which feels very strange. maybe it's because they never feel very far.
i just wish i could hang out and talk to my best friend again, rather than have him try and shove his tongue down my throat. like things used to be. watching tv sitcoms and making dinner. just hanging out.
maybe taking a break is just the thing we need, who knows.
these dreams are killing me, not the sex one.. that was just weird. i just don't understand how you could say all of those things to someone, then turn around and get married. to never give an explanation, or some reasoning. but to just drop it. blow off plans, ignore phone calls.. refusing to return them. i just don't get it. usually i get the last word and this time.. i don't. it's killing me.
really i'm just feeling hurt on so many levels with so many things going on. vague, of course. but honestly, at this point i'm beginning to see just how insignificant my feelings are, or have become. i just hope they don't disappear altogether.
hell, if you had told me two years ago about how selfless i'd become, i would have laughed in your face.
and here i am.
i'm running very low on energy and patience.
gotta keep moving forwardforwardforward.
and especially when you would never consider sleeping with them, ever.
so much stress lately.
the sun gives me headaches,
then work gives me headaches,
wearing my hair up gives me headaches
thinking too much gives me headaches
it seems like there's not a whole lot these days that doesn't result in a headache. i've been feeling pretty alienated lately which is fine i guess. probably what i need. i don't feel the need to see as much of my friends as possible before i move, which feels very strange. maybe it's because they never feel very far.
i just wish i could hang out and talk to my best friend again, rather than have him try and shove his tongue down my throat. like things used to be. watching tv sitcoms and making dinner. just hanging out.
maybe taking a break is just the thing we need, who knows.
these dreams are killing me, not the sex one.. that was just weird. i just don't understand how you could say all of those things to someone, then turn around and get married. to never give an explanation, or some reasoning. but to just drop it. blow off plans, ignore phone calls.. refusing to return them. i just don't get it. usually i get the last word and this time.. i don't. it's killing me.
really i'm just feeling hurt on so many levels with so many things going on. vague, of course. but honestly, at this point i'm beginning to see just how insignificant my feelings are, or have become. i just hope they don't disappear altogether.
hell, if you had told me two years ago about how selfless i'd become, i would have laughed in your face.
and here i am.
i'm running very low on energy and patience.
gotta keep moving forwardforwardforward.