(no subject)
Ok, you know those days when you have nothing in particular to look forward to, so you feeling like doing nothing? I think I'm going to have a weekend of those days.
So maybe if I get this off my chest, I'll feel like working.
I've considered writing this rant a few times in the past.. two years. But now it's really come to a head.
A few years ago, when my Dad was living interstate 5 days a week he took up playing the drums. And a few weeks ago he joined this group of guys who are his age and who play instruments too, so now he's in a band.
And all he has been fucking doing is drumming. He's not helping around the house, he's not interested in me or my sister, far out he's not being a father.
I should mention that he hasn't been doing things around the house for, well, months. Like this week my Mum has been feeling a bit sick, but she's still done the washing, the cleaning, and looking after my sister and I. And my Dad does fuck-all. He just seems to think it'll all just happen. When he gets home from work his routine consists of exercising and drumming. And ignoring us.
The fact that he's not interested in my sister and I really came out last night - my sister and I were staying back after school till 7 in the evening because there were school play rehearsals - she's in the play and I stayed behind (for the first time) last night because my boyfriend helps out with the tech stuff, so it was a chance for me to see him, seeing as how I can't see him this weekend. (More on that below). It got to about 6.40 last night when my Dad asked - for the first time that evening - where we were. My Mum was annoyed at my Dad for that - my sister has had play rehearsals on Friday afternoons for most of the school year. But I thought it was sardonically amusing that he didn't ask why I wasn't home - I've never been involved in the play, short of supporting my friends.
Another thing: my dog had knee surgery this week, which has meant that we can't leave her alone, in case she jumps up or something, and rips open her stitches or re-damages her leg. Tomorrow my Dad has a concert for his drumming, and he wanted all of us to go, but my sister has play rehearsals again, and because of the dog, I have to stay home. And even if I didn't have to stay home, I wouldn't want to go: I'd be going to the play rehearsal to see my boyfriend, because except for a rare exception like last night, I only get to see him on the weekends (he has uni and I have school so it's virtually impossible to do anything during the week). But this time I don't get to see him at all. That's probably what is making me cranky too, by the way.
But what really pisses me off is my Dad's reaction to things. He thought I was coming to his drumming concert, but I can't and so he took it as a personal insult. You tell him that he's not paying attention to my sister and I and that he's drumming too much and he takes it as a personal insult. You tell him he's not helping around the house and he takes it as a personal insult. It is literally like trying to have a normal conversation with a pathetic, whiny 5-year-old boy. Like last night we told him these things and by the end he was really defensive and had tears in his eyes. So essentially we can't tell him he's doing anything wrong, because he just shuts off, like he did last night.
There is so much more I could write about all the ridiculous things he does. Like he thinks because I don't growl at him like my sister and Mum do, I am therefore interested in his life and his drumming. I couldn't give a shit more than my Mum and sister could. I just don't say it out loud.
(As I'm typing this he's meant to be building a barrier to stop my dog going anywhere where she could jump. Instead, he's getting his drums ready for tomorrow. See my point?)
I really don't want to say things like these about my Dad. But sometimes it doesn't feel like he is, you know? He just lives in his own world, and then wonders why we don't even try to include him our conversations - he's just so far behind he'd have no idea. And I know I'm being quite self-centred.
So there's my rant. In short, I'm cranky because my Dad's not acting like a Dad and he's so caught up in his own world he inadvertently mucks up our lives.
Hope you guys are all having a better weekend than me..
So maybe if I get this off my chest, I'll feel like working.
I've considered writing this rant a few times in the past.. two years. But now it's really come to a head.
A few years ago, when my Dad was living interstate 5 days a week he took up playing the drums. And a few weeks ago he joined this group of guys who are his age and who play instruments too, so now he's in a band.
And all he has been fucking doing is drumming. He's not helping around the house, he's not interested in me or my sister, far out he's not being a father.
I should mention that he hasn't been doing things around the house for, well, months. Like this week my Mum has been feeling a bit sick, but she's still done the washing, the cleaning, and looking after my sister and I. And my Dad does fuck-all. He just seems to think it'll all just happen. When he gets home from work his routine consists of exercising and drumming. And ignoring us.
The fact that he's not interested in my sister and I really came out last night - my sister and I were staying back after school till 7 in the evening because there were school play rehearsals - she's in the play and I stayed behind (for the first time) last night because my boyfriend helps out with the tech stuff, so it was a chance for me to see him, seeing as how I can't see him this weekend. (More on that below). It got to about 6.40 last night when my Dad asked - for the first time that evening - where we were. My Mum was annoyed at my Dad for that - my sister has had play rehearsals on Friday afternoons for most of the school year. But I thought it was sardonically amusing that he didn't ask why I wasn't home - I've never been involved in the play, short of supporting my friends.
Another thing: my dog had knee surgery this week, which has meant that we can't leave her alone, in case she jumps up or something, and rips open her stitches or re-damages her leg. Tomorrow my Dad has a concert for his drumming, and he wanted all of us to go, but my sister has play rehearsals again, and because of the dog, I have to stay home. And even if I didn't have to stay home, I wouldn't want to go: I'd be going to the play rehearsal to see my boyfriend, because except for a rare exception like last night, I only get to see him on the weekends (he has uni and I have school so it's virtually impossible to do anything during the week). But this time I don't get to see him at all. That's probably what is making me cranky too, by the way.
But what really pisses me off is my Dad's reaction to things. He thought I was coming to his drumming concert, but I can't and so he took it as a personal insult. You tell him that he's not paying attention to my sister and I and that he's drumming too much and he takes it as a personal insult. You tell him he's not helping around the house and he takes it as a personal insult. It is literally like trying to have a normal conversation with a pathetic, whiny 5-year-old boy. Like last night we told him these things and by the end he was really defensive and had tears in his eyes. So essentially we can't tell him he's doing anything wrong, because he just shuts off, like he did last night.
There is so much more I could write about all the ridiculous things he does. Like he thinks because I don't growl at him like my sister and Mum do, I am therefore interested in his life and his drumming. I couldn't give a shit more than my Mum and sister could. I just don't say it out loud.
(As I'm typing this he's meant to be building a barrier to stop my dog going anywhere where she could jump. Instead, he's getting his drums ready for tomorrow. See my point?)
I really don't want to say things like these about my Dad. But sometimes it doesn't feel like he is, you know? He just lives in his own world, and then wonders why we don't even try to include him our conversations - he's just so far behind he'd have no idea. And I know I'm being quite self-centred.
So there's my rant. In short, I'm cranky because my Dad's not acting like a Dad and he's so caught up in his own world he inadvertently mucks up our lives.
Hope you guys are all having a better weekend than me..