The Future: of Elvenking and Caves
Whilst I'm in a ranting-about-music-mode, Elvenking needs to shape the fuck up, too. The Scythe? Another example of a good band trying to get "darker." I appreciate "darker" but at the same time, they're doing it wrong. "The Scythe" is a good example of an awesome band who decided to fuck shit up by going in the opposite musical direction they should have. You can get "darker" without making your music sound like a bad hardcore cover band with violins.
Fuck you, Damnagoras! But I still love you! Make better fucking music!
But I know in my heart there will never be another Heathenreel. Seasonspeech is the best folk metal song ever composed.
In other news, this is the last full week I will have to endure in these claustrophobic, industrial dorm buildings; two weeks from today I will be in Chicago, gloriously enjoying my newfound freedom and attempting to throw off my harsh memories of this place. The apartment will be much more fun, I will regain the use of my car, and even though Rhinelander is a pretty stupid town, Tyler and I will find ways to occupy ourselves. I am looking forward to magical snowy evening walks and burning candles. Not to mention lots of World of Warcraft and noodles. Such is the life of a college dropout, apparently.
I guess I am not technically dropping out, simply transferring, but I cringe when I think of next year. I do not wish to leave the people I love behind; my father insists I "move on" and find new people to spend my time with (he just wants me to keep better company - and by "better" he means more "normal") and I disapprove of this. There is not really any point in myself going back to college next year as I will be a first (or perhaps even second) semester junior already and I haven't the faintest clue what the hell I feel like getting a fake degree in so I could go get a fake job somewhere in our fake world - I keep coming back to the logical choice of somehow becoming a writer, but Odin knows no one makes any money doing that. If - IF! - I am going to invest my time in placating society's institutions, they'd better make it worth my time.
So, at this point in time, I have no plans to go off on my own anywhere to attend some other college where, undoubtedly, I would be just as unhappy, but we shall see how things unfold. If I have learned anything this entire semester, anything at all, is that I do not enjoy being utterly alone amidst a sea of people. Nothing could be worse. Don't get me wrong, I am quite apt at entertaining myself, and nothing is more true than the fact that boredom is a wonderful catalyst for creativity, but after weeks and weeks of not speaking to anyone during the week, the isolation sets itself into one's skin. Not to mention my creativity hasn't been working this semester due to the horrible amount of stress and emotion I am constantly filled with after James' suicide, all of my social issues, and remembering my parents still exist and they are going to try to re-enter my life as soon as I step outside of this campus.
I must remain determined, nonplussed, and stoic as possible. I mustn't let any of it run my life any longer. I'm going to, somehow, figure out a way to get what I want in this convoluted world, and then go get it. Living in the woods is always an option to fall back on, we mustn't forget. I'll have to locate a cave of sorts to the north fairly soon just in case it comes to that.
Fuck you, Damnagoras! But I still love you! Make better fucking music!
But I know in my heart there will never be another Heathenreel. Seasonspeech is the best folk metal song ever composed.
In other news, this is the last full week I will have to endure in these claustrophobic, industrial dorm buildings; two weeks from today I will be in Chicago, gloriously enjoying my newfound freedom and attempting to throw off my harsh memories of this place. The apartment will be much more fun, I will regain the use of my car, and even though Rhinelander is a pretty stupid town, Tyler and I will find ways to occupy ourselves. I am looking forward to magical snowy evening walks and burning candles. Not to mention lots of World of Warcraft and noodles. Such is the life of a college dropout, apparently.
I guess I am not technically dropping out, simply transferring, but I cringe when I think of next year. I do not wish to leave the people I love behind; my father insists I "move on" and find new people to spend my time with (he just wants me to keep better company - and by "better" he means more "normal") and I disapprove of this. There is not really any point in myself going back to college next year as I will be a first (or perhaps even second) semester junior already and I haven't the faintest clue what the hell I feel like getting a fake degree in so I could go get a fake job somewhere in our fake world - I keep coming back to the logical choice of somehow becoming a writer, but Odin knows no one makes any money doing that. If - IF! - I am going to invest my time in placating society's institutions, they'd better make it worth my time.
So, at this point in time, I have no plans to go off on my own anywhere to attend some other college where, undoubtedly, I would be just as unhappy, but we shall see how things unfold. If I have learned anything this entire semester, anything at all, is that I do not enjoy being utterly alone amidst a sea of people. Nothing could be worse. Don't get me wrong, I am quite apt at entertaining myself, and nothing is more true than the fact that boredom is a wonderful catalyst for creativity, but after weeks and weeks of not speaking to anyone during the week, the isolation sets itself into one's skin. Not to mention my creativity hasn't been working this semester due to the horrible amount of stress and emotion I am constantly filled with after James' suicide, all of my social issues, and remembering my parents still exist and they are going to try to re-enter my life as soon as I step outside of this campus.
I must remain determined, nonplussed, and stoic as possible. I mustn't let any of it run my life any longer. I'm going to, somehow, figure out a way to get what I want in this convoluted world, and then go get it. Living in the woods is always an option to fall back on, we mustn't forget. I'll have to locate a cave of sorts to the north fairly soon just in case it comes to that.