Tumultuous

Aug 06, 2007 13:59

So many events, so many feelings.  So much - so much.

Everything is okay, at least in the nobody's-going-to-kill-themselves sense, unless you count Yvonne's scary intake of copious amounts of alcohol in which case Lotus and I took care of her for a couple hours while she mumbled and tossed and cried and giggled, until we decided it was getting pretty damn bad and off she went to the hospital.

Other than that, well.

We went to the Renaissance Faire in Bristol, WI this past weekend.  Oh man, was that an experience.  It was pretty much awesome, except for the fags that were there, and the extremely high prices of everything, obviously.  Either way, I obtained a lovely drinking horn and a Noldorian circlet, quite happy with them.  There were some bizarre people there, though.  Pictures to follow, sometime.

Danny and I have been fighting, nonstop, again.  I told him that nothing has changed and that this just isn't going to work.  It's really just grating on my nerves and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now.  Watching Tyler and Laura cuddle on the car ride down was enough to put me in a bitter mood, and of course Danny was not there, since he decided not to come because he's a lazy bastard.

So I'm not the only one angry with him.

College is coming up, all too swiftly.  What do I do?  Stab my eyes out?  Because that seems a wonderful alternative at the moment...

I am not sure my motivations or my thoughts.  I have been sleeping less and less, and absorbing myself into things that take me away from here - this world, this neverending charade of colors, sounds, words, music, complicated, complicated things.  Where is my mind?  I feel my wit is exhausted, my feelings deadened, my memory muffled.

And a body can only take so much abuse.  After being up 34 hours with not a wink of sleep, walking around the Renfaire in hot weather in a leather corset and a long velvet dress, and all of the emotional exhaustive qualities that come with the knowledge of a hopeless love -

I feel like I cannot possibly be human right now.
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