(no subject)
So things have been kinda... I dunno, bland? lately.
Mid-July I went on vacation to Traverse City, and then to Mackinaw Island. It was a pretty stupendous trip, I enjoyed my time more than I have in quite some time. A week and a half ago (already?) I went to Gencon again. That was fun as well, but I dunno... it seems less "OMG so exciting!!!1" and more of a comfortable yearly ritual at this point, which is not necessarily a completely bad thing.
Other than that, however, it just seems like the days just run together. Work has been draining the life out of me. I'm beginning to hate everything there again and all the little things aggrivate the hell out of me a lot quicker. And for the first time in the ten years I've been there, I'm starting to slack in my work ethic a little. Nothing major, really, but I always try to do 110% on any assignment I am on, and lately I've just been feeling in a "fuck it" mood. I think that's sorta happening in a lot of facets in my life as of late. I just don't care about a lot of things anymore. I mean, my normal hobbies and stuff are doing me fine, but I've lost steam. I know I complain about being in ruts a lot here, but I dunno... I guess it helps me to vent it by reiteration.
I do have goals, as per my last post. I aim to try something drastically different for myself. I really, really want to move to Canada, specifically somewhere in the Vancouver area. But, if that fails (and it probably will, but damn it I want to try), I plan on quitting my job for something more solid. Mancino's has been decent to me and I'm thankful for what i have, but what i have I cannot live on alone.
And what is living, anyway? It's not a lot here. It's less 'living' and more 'existing'. Owosso is a dangerous place. Not dangerous as in "watch your back or you'll get shot", but harmful in the fact that this place is so safe, so uneventful, so steady that it is very easy to get stuck here for life. Normally this might not be a bad thing, but there's just nothing here. It's like those old horror movies where everyone is the same and anything different or exciting is immediately ejected to preserve the calm utopia. It's so very easy to settle for "sturdy, consistent and boring". It's the easier route with less risks. I'm not known to be a risk-taker, and I know that's why I sit here, still working my high school job, no girlfriend, no home of my own... but hey, I have no debt! That's got to account for something... right? ...right?
I guess I shouldn't complain too much. That boringness has preserved me from anything hideously traumatic, I suppose... I've definitely had my share of hardships, but at least I'm not in a wheelchair or in a coma, or at the very least been dealt any heart attacks (that I very much deserve thanks to the years of crap I used to eat and drink). Look at that! I've somehow developed an optimistic side. I'd better beat it down a little, haha.
Further thoughts may come later. I know I terribly neglect updating here, but maybe updating once in a while might keep my head a little more level...
Mid-July I went on vacation to Traverse City, and then to Mackinaw Island. It was a pretty stupendous trip, I enjoyed my time more than I have in quite some time. A week and a half ago (already?) I went to Gencon again. That was fun as well, but I dunno... it seems less "OMG so exciting!!!1" and more of a comfortable yearly ritual at this point, which is not necessarily a completely bad thing.
Other than that, however, it just seems like the days just run together. Work has been draining the life out of me. I'm beginning to hate everything there again and all the little things aggrivate the hell out of me a lot quicker. And for the first time in the ten years I've been there, I'm starting to slack in my work ethic a little. Nothing major, really, but I always try to do 110% on any assignment I am on, and lately I've just been feeling in a "fuck it" mood. I think that's sorta happening in a lot of facets in my life as of late. I just don't care about a lot of things anymore. I mean, my normal hobbies and stuff are doing me fine, but I've lost steam. I know I complain about being in ruts a lot here, but I dunno... I guess it helps me to vent it by reiteration.
I do have goals, as per my last post. I aim to try something drastically different for myself. I really, really want to move to Canada, specifically somewhere in the Vancouver area. But, if that fails (and it probably will, but damn it I want to try), I plan on quitting my job for something more solid. Mancino's has been decent to me and I'm thankful for what i have, but what i have I cannot live on alone.
And what is living, anyway? It's not a lot here. It's less 'living' and more 'existing'. Owosso is a dangerous place. Not dangerous as in "watch your back or you'll get shot", but harmful in the fact that this place is so safe, so uneventful, so steady that it is very easy to get stuck here for life. Normally this might not be a bad thing, but there's just nothing here. It's like those old horror movies where everyone is the same and anything different or exciting is immediately ejected to preserve the calm utopia. It's so very easy to settle for "sturdy, consistent and boring". It's the easier route with less risks. I'm not known to be a risk-taker, and I know that's why I sit here, still working my high school job, no girlfriend, no home of my own... but hey, I have no debt! That's got to account for something... right? ...right?
I guess I shouldn't complain too much. That boringness has preserved me from anything hideously traumatic, I suppose... I've definitely had my share of hardships, but at least I'm not in a wheelchair or in a coma, or at the very least been dealt any heart attacks (that I very much deserve thanks to the years of crap I used to eat and drink). Look at that! I've somehow developed an optimistic side. I'd better beat it down a little, haha.
Further thoughts may come later. I know I terribly neglect updating here, but maybe updating once in a while might keep my head a little more level...