Oh, life, why?
I've got to stop going to doctors. They keep wanting to test me for cancer. The second time in less than a year when I'm not even 28 yet is really a bit much. Cosmos hinting at something and all that. I mean, really! I'm soooo done with cancer scares.
At least it's a different type of cancer this time around? Actually, I can't decide if that makes it better or worse. It should be more of a precautionary thing than anything, as doc says he thinks the actual likelihood is slim. Still... fears of being a statistic.
Existential angst, I have it.
I drove immediately to the nearest park and then hiked over a mile, circling the lake there and letting myself be lost to my thoughts for awhile, before heading on to work. It's a gorgeous spring day, and there was a hawk out hunting to keep me company. When internship is over I'm focusing on me. I know I've got some less than healthy habits, but I've just been letting them slide. Time to stop that.
So, I'll get through this round of testing, hoping it's nothing, but hoping for answers too. And, if I must, I'll fight.
Grumpy, old, beloved bedmate tabby cat died yesterday; got the C-word thrown at me today; big work event tomorrow; ultrasound Friday. I just wanna run away from thoughts and the world at this point. At least I'm pretty! It's a great hair day, my eyes are huge and lovely if an indeterminate color, I've taken the evening off internship, and there's an opened bottle of wine at home.
My parents are also at home though, and they've got some sort of stomach virus. ::sigh:: Here's hoping it skips me or at least waits til the weekend.
Link me, lovelies? Happy things, ridiculously stupid things, hopeful things, strength things.
At least it's a different type of cancer this time around? Actually, I can't decide if that makes it better or worse. It should be more of a precautionary thing than anything, as doc says he thinks the actual likelihood is slim. Still... fears of being a statistic.
Existential angst, I have it.
I drove immediately to the nearest park and then hiked over a mile, circling the lake there and letting myself be lost to my thoughts for awhile, before heading on to work. It's a gorgeous spring day, and there was a hawk out hunting to keep me company. When internship is over I'm focusing on me. I know I've got some less than healthy habits, but I've just been letting them slide. Time to stop that.
So, I'll get through this round of testing, hoping it's nothing, but hoping for answers too. And, if I must, I'll fight.
Grumpy, old, beloved bedmate tabby cat died yesterday; got the C-word thrown at me today; big work event tomorrow; ultrasound Friday. I just wanna run away from thoughts and the world at this point. At least I'm pretty! It's a great hair day, my eyes are huge and lovely if an indeterminate color, I've taken the evening off internship, and there's an opened bottle of wine at home.
My parents are also at home though, and they've got some sort of stomach virus. ::sigh:: Here's hoping it skips me or at least waits til the weekend.
Link me, lovelies? Happy things, ridiculously stupid things, hopeful things, strength things.